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Ursine Asylum posted:To be quite honest, this kind of reaction would make me treat you like a  You probably correct people when they say "hacker" too.
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Jan 7, 2015 15:05
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who doesn't understand metaphors or turns of phrase if you did it on a regular basis.
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Punc posted:In search of a new ticketing system (currently Lotus Notes 4.5 Because being dependent on multiple platforms is always better than being dependent on one platform. Right? Right?
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Jan 7, 2015 15:59
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), our boss has decided not to use anything with SQL Server as a back-end, since that would make us too depended on Windows stuff.
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Ursine Asylum posted:To be quite honest, this kind of reaction would make me treat you like a It's not so much turn-of-phrase as it is a "I-sound-like-a-really-big-moron". I've heard the phrase uttered literally no where else by no one else other than the chief technology officer, a person so detached from the realities of IT that they shouldn't even be in the position.
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Jan 7, 2015 16:02
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Chalets the Baka posted:It's not so much turn-of-phrase as it is a "I-sound-like-a-really-big-moron". I'm not sure what that term means, perhaps you could define that for me really quick?  Maybe it's just a corporate culture thing then, because I've been having "offline" meetings in every one of my last three jobs and using "pings" in IM chats since high school. 
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Jan 7, 2015 16:16
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See also: hacking and probably many others. Words get appropriated by the general public who redefine it to mean what they think it means.
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Jan 7, 2015 16:54
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Out-of-band would have been a much better technical term to appropriate for that use 
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Jan 7, 2015 17:03
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beep boop what is this concept you call... offline
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Jan 7, 2015 17:13
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And more importantly, does it mean they're buying?
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Jan 7, 2015 17:14
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Ursine Asylum posted:To be quite honest, this kind of reaction would make me treat you like a Yeah, which among other reasons is why I wrote my next post.
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Jan 7, 2015 17:15
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DrAlexanderTobacco posted:beep boop what is this concept you call... offline I guess I should have said it would confuse me had I heard it before reading about it in this thread. If I was in a face-to-face meeting and somebody out of the blue said "Hm, lets discuss that offline" I would have actually been confused. But we also use Lync constantly, so that also colors my interpretation.
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Jan 7, 2015 17:27
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Chalets the Baka posted:It's not so much turn-of-phrase as it is a "I-sound-like-a-really-big-moron". I've heard the phrase uttered literally no where else by no one else other than the chief technology officer, a person so detached from the realities of IT that they shouldn't even be in the position. It's a really common phrase in the military. I've never used it, because I think buzzwords are silly, but I was definitely in the minority among officers and NCOs. e: To provide some contextual background, line of sight radio communications are broadcast to everyone on a particular channel (usually referred to as "the net"). Saying "Let's take this offline" would indicate that you want to talk about it in private or one on one, as opposed to putting it out there for everyone to hear (the entire meeting room). Military managers took this terminology and then extrapolated it to every aspect of their lives (as is their wont). psydude fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Jan 7, 2015 |
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Jan 7, 2015 17:47
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psydude posted:It's a really common phrase in the military. I've never used it, because I think buzzwords are silly, but I was definitely in the minority among officers and NCOs. Executives we work with (and my client) use it all the time. I never heard it before working in IT, but it's clearly a turn of phrase. Personally I speak in business speak constantly on purpose to the point of irony where no one who works with me believes I'm saying synergy because of buzzword adherence to the word. I say it because it's the best word to describe the event and everyone tends to know what it means, even if some people cringe. The problem is when you turn it into a command. "Go Synergize" should make people cringe. But I also cringe when people say Six Sigma like they've ever produced a variance chart in their life or that arbitrary specifications of quality without measuring the cost of obtaining the goals or worse that a system designed for manufacturing consistency can be applied to social production functions at all. Someone actually said in a meeting "I'll put on my Six Sigma black belt for a minute and say..." And I wanted to stand up and yell at him.
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Jan 7, 2015 19:03
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my team started using a bunch of garbage corporate-speak phrases regularly just as in-jokes, but now we can't stop talking about leveraging resources and synergizing with the cloud. just be careful everyone
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Jan 7, 2015 19:11
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Resource and Process Solutions Specialist, offline, after the stand up. Kanban, after the pig fell.
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Jan 7, 2015 19:14
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Sirotan posted:Resource and Process Solutions Specialist, offline, after the stand up. Temba, his arms wide!
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Jan 7, 2015 20:59
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Retrospective! The sprint retrospective in winter!
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Jan 7, 2015 21:25
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Just when you thought you have seen it all you find until a windows 2003 server start refusing remote desktop session due to an issue randomly with the vmware video driver. The corrupt video driver seemed to happen at the same moment symantec endpoint protection was being removed from the server. It might make sense to me one day.
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Jan 7, 2015 23:27
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Sickening posted:I guess you better name and shame then because this is the dumbest thing I have heard of in a little bit. The costs of opening cases on employees that leave you would be staggering. The burden of proof needed just to successfully litigate is already really high for cases that are legitimate, much less for frivolous claims. The scenario is so laughable I don't even see how it could be anything but fiction. It looks like I'm a little late to this discussion, but allow me to tell the story of a little company called Nicrosoft (that is not their real name) and the contracting companies Dolt Management Consulting (this is not the real name) and Spermens (this is not their real name honest). A few years back, this company Nicrosoft decided that they wanted to hire a new contracting company to work in their datacenters by the name of Spermens, as Spermens had promised to do the work for cheaper than Dolt. The site manager for Dolt assured their employees that it would be business as usual for those employees, and that it was likely that Spermens would hire everybody on who was already there working for Dolt, rather than train new staff. Everybody started wearing polos and slacks while they racked and cabled their servers, and submitted their resumes to Spermens AG. A couple months left to go before the rollover, and Dolt announced that they would be enforcing their Non-compete agreements. Despite the outcry, they breezily explained that they had told Siemens that they would fight any non-compete violations in court, at which point Spermens stopped interviewing those employees. There was much bluster and "I'll just tell them to go gently caress themselves!"es from employees, but those employees were, strangely, not the people making hiring decisions for Spermens, and they made no discernible difference despite their brave profane words. A month later Dolt backed down, but by this point it was too late for Spermens to go with Plan A, and so they had gone to Plan B (populate the DC with new folks they'd gotten from a previous and very similar situation with ICM (that is not IBM's real name) and JAMU/Dhase (that bank actually has a different name despite what you may think). It turned out later that Nicrosoft had had to rattle sabers at Volt to get them to back down on this, as they still had plenty of seats they were filling for Nicrosoft and that could easily change if they weren't flexible. So I guess what it comes down to is that corporate law supersedes human law and the laws defending actual humans don't usually even get representation when our corporate masters are having a confab? Maybe just that being a Nicrosoft contractor sucks? *sigh* I dunno
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Jan 7, 2015 23:28
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dogstile posted:In response to me accepting a chess game from a colleague and going on lunch to play it (but forgetting to update my status on the wallboard), another colleague decided to tell me i'm skiving off work (at this point I updated my status), that i'm being lazy and topped it off by unplugging my mouse mid game. When I told him after that he was being annoying and that it wasn't needed, he responded by saying "What, is it annoying because i'm actually working?". Is this guy a manager or something? If not report his rear end. If he continues, it's harassment, take it up with HR.
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Jan 7, 2015 23:42
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DOLT VOLT SIEMENS SEAMANS SPERMANS SPERMHANDS NICROSOFT ICBM
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Jan 7, 2015 23:48
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Sickening posted:Just when you thought you have seen it all you find until a windows 2003 server start refusing remote desktop session due to an issue randomly with the vmware video driver. The corrupt video driver seemed to happen at the same moment symantec endpoint protection was being removed from the server. When SEP goes down, it takes everything with it.
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Jan 7, 2015 23:52
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Orcs and Ostriches posted:When SEP goes down, it takes everything with it. I am starting to understand that.
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Jan 7, 2015 23:53
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Aunt Beth posted:DOLT VOLT SIEMENS SEAMANS SPERMANS SPERMHANDS NICROSOFT ICBM Nichael was worried
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Jan 7, 2015 23:55
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Orcs and Ostriches posted:When SEP goes down, it takes everything with it. This is my hell, daily/weekly.
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Jan 8, 2015 00:06
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fromoutofnowhere posted:Is this guy a manager or something? If not report his rear end. If he continues, it's harassment, take it up with HR. Nope, he's one of the newer guys. He's usually alright, but he was being a massive cock about everything today. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he was having a bad day. If he keeps it up i'll just go straight to an actual manager. Just wanted to vent because it pissed me off.
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Jan 8, 2015 00:10
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Do you have a spine made of Squand or something? Don't let people touch your poo poo or tell you how to work if it's not transgressing others. Next time he does that, take out the sawed-off you have underneath the desk and blow his skull across the cubicle farm. Then burn the office down to hide the evidence.
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Jan 8, 2015 00:21
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 : This computer is hosed up. I can't fix this over Hangouts.: Okay. Where can I start?Fifteen minutes of trying random poo poo off the top of my head to get the keyboard and mouse working later it's decided that the hosed up laptop is coming down to see me so I can purge it of several pieces of rogue software and magically get the keyboard to work (even Ctrl-Alt-Delete has been hijacked/broken somehow) and the mouse cursor to reappear. gently caress.
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Jan 8, 2015 01:11
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Chalets the Baka posted:Do you have a spine made of Squand or something? Don't let people touch your poo poo or tell you how to work if it's not transgressing others. Next time he does that, take out the sawed-off you have underneath the desk and blow his skull across the cubicle farm. Then burn the office down to hide the evidence. In the event this isn't satire, I have a simple rule. They have one chance to back off after i've had a word (so this is me telling him he's being annoying). After that, if you do anything else I escalate. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day after that last snarky comment, so i'll leave it there for now.
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Jan 8, 2015 01:42
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Sirotan posted:Retrospective! The sprint retrospective in winter! Project Manager, his Gantt chart corrupted.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:40
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I'm starting to become a flake and I don't like it. I promise users stuff will get done, and then I procrastinate with other tickets and I miss the boat. I wanted to get a computer out on Monday, and it actually is ready for the most part, but I lost my notes on all the stuff that was supposed to be on it and I didn't want to give them half a system, so I've been sitting on it. I can't do it tomorrow because I'm at another site. I own up to it when I do come through, but drat do I really want to not be "that guy".
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Jan 8, 2015 06:44
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"If you're not me, stop talking" - in which Stripe gets fed up with people going off topic on a time sensitive conference call.
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Jan 8, 2015 07:19
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dogstile posted:In the event this isn't satire, I have a simple rule. They have one chance to back off after i've had a word (so this is me telling him he's being annoying). After that, if you do anything else I escalate. Update: All is good. Talking like usual, maybe he needed a day to chill. Downside: A friend in another department got fired today (completely unrelated) because he argued with the wrong manager. 
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Jan 8, 2015 15:10
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If arguing gets you fired you either argued like a dick or its a place you don't want to work at anyway.
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Jan 8, 2015 16:55
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Boss: "Mogomra, we need you to track clicks. Use this tool I wrote that will track link clicks and redirect to the URL in the query string." Mogomra: "Ok  "Oh look, this only works as long as long as the URL that the request needs to be redirected to is the last property of the query string, and isn't URL encoded. Cool! Every time I'm forced into using something my boss wrote, I end up being the one to fix it because I'm apparently the only person in the whole company that actually needs things to work properly.
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Jan 8, 2015 17:08
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Someone got mad because someone was brushing their teeth in the bathroom sink after lunchquote:Subject: Restroom Policy Update
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Jan 8, 2015 17:13
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Brushing teeth was prohibited? I was assuming the signs said no-loving.
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Jan 8, 2015 17:16
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skooma512 posted:I'm starting to become a flake and I don't like it. onenote/evernote are your friend, or a straight up To-Do-List that you save on your desktop and look at at the start of the day/end of the day. I've had to do stuff like this my whole life because I'm a complete flake with things unless I write them down.
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Jan 8, 2015 17:40
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Gounads posted:Brushing teeth was prohibited?
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Jan 8, 2015 18:12
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Bob Morales posted:Someone got mad because someone was brushing their teeth in the bathroom sink after lunch I can't imagine how many meetings and committees were organized to put forth this policy.
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Jan 8, 2015 19:10
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Erwin posted:I can't imagine how many meetings and committees were organized to put forth this policy. Ok I think we can all agree that mint is ok but the employee has to be using a manual brush and can't be using Crest. All in favor?
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Jan 8, 2015 19:12
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