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HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


















WWE Fast Lane

#1 Contendership for WWE Championship
Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

Grudge Match
John Cena vs. Rusev

WWE Divas Championship Match
Nikki Bella © vs. Paige

Triple H challenges Sting to meet face to face!




NXT TAKEOVER on February 11th

NXT Championship Match
Sami Zayn © vs. Kevin Owens.

NXT #1 Contenders Tournament
Hideo Itami or Finn Bálor vs. Baron Corbin or Adrian Neville

NXT Women's Title Fatal Fourway Match
Charlotte © vs. Bayley vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks


RAW RESULTS

WWE starts out with an Authority Promo. Apparently they're here to make a huge announcement that will "shake the core" of the WWE. They start by talking up the Super Bowl and make fun of how some people were so outraged that they may #CANCELNFLNETWORK!!! HHH announces he is calling out Sting for WWE FAST LANE to a confrontation - which we knew already. They talked about how The Rumble was controversial because THE ROCK showed up which may have changed the outcome. They implied that even though he won the Rumble he might not main event at WM. Roman Reigns ended up coming out to a much more positive reaction that he had at the Rumble. He got in HHH's face saying HELL NO. Stephanie tried to calm him down and then Daniel Bryan came out with his fuzzy boots and got a much bigger pop.

Bryan apologizes to Reigns that the Authority is messing with him - but states: "If you want to talk about a controversy - how about the controversy over stripping me of the WWE Championship and never giving me a rematch"? HHH tries to talk him down but states maybe he does deserve one - leading to Seth Rollins coming out. He's yelling something into the mic and Steph says "we can't hear you!" as we go to commercial.

We return from Commercial and Rollins is only just now stepping into the ring. Rollins talks down Bryan & Reigns as undeserving. Rollins says HE deserves the match against Lesnar. HHH finally cuts everyone off and books Bryan vs. Rollins - Winner faces Roman Reigns at FAST LANE. Whoever wins -THAT- match faces Brock at WrestleMania. Reigns looks insanely annoyed as he should be. They make it a choice for Roman Reigns - and he says "SCREW IT." and accepts. So for those keeping score - the Rumble match meant nothing. HHH announces the match as official then immediately books Reigns vs. Big Show... AGAIN! RIGHT NOW!

THIS SEGMENT TOOK 27˝ MINUTES

Big Show defeated Roman Reigns via Pinfall in 02:40 [Chokeslam] - The match was already in progress after the commercial break. They did the entire heat segment during that, as within 20 seconds Roman Reigns was already into his comeback. The finish came when Reigns got hit by the MITB Briefcase behind the referees back - and he immediately got hit with a chokeslam.

Backstage HHH & Stephanie were celebrating how easy they manipulated Reigns and how contractually they can't even strip Reigns of the shot. Dumb babyfaces. They kissed. Commercial break.

Curtis Axel is here and announces he was SCREWED AT THE RUMBLE!!! HE WANTS JUSTICE!!! JBL mentions changing the channel. Axel points to the WM Sign. Ambrose comes out and sends Axel packing in seconds, throwing him over the top rope. "Now you're eliminated". Ambrose cuts a promo saying with everyone making DEMANDS - he has one of his own. He wants a title match against BAD NEWS BARRETT as he beat him. Axel immediately runs back in the ring to attack Ambrose, but gets hit with a Jawbreaker Lariat and Dirty Deeds.

Konnor & Viktor defeated Goldust & Stardust via Pinfall in 01:48 [Fall of Man]

Stardust comes in after the match and argues with Goldust after Goldust took the pinfall. Stardust walks out on his brother.

Stardust is pacing back and forth backstage just mumbling. Goldust tries to snap him out of it. "Stardust...STARDUST! STARDUST! ....CODY!!!". Stardust gets angry and tells him to never call him Cody again. He hisses and leaves.

Coming up next: JOHN CENA WELCOMES BACK HIS FRIENDS!

Cena comes out. Plugs the Austin/HHH podcast on the network after this show. Cena does recaps. He welcomes back his friends. His friends come out. Stephanie interrupts. Dolph interrupts her. Stephanie interrupts him. She books Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt. Erick Rowan is facing Rusev. Ryback is in action...next! Against Luke Harper. Harper comes out and we go to commercial break.

Ryback defeated Luke Harper via Pinfall in 05:59 [Shellshock] - "That looked like a zombie version of Eddie Guerrero" was said by JBL in this match. Cool spot where Ryback went for the SHELLSHOCK but Harper reversed it into a sunset flip. This was right before the finish. Fine match.

Cesaro deafeates Jimmy Uso via Pinfall in 06:21 [European Uppercut] - Finish came when Jimmy Uso went for the splash but Tyson Kidd got on the Apron to distract him. When Kidd was pulled off by Jey Uso, Jimmy jumped into a European Uppercut.

Backstage Mizdow is serving Miz some food. A fan asks for an autograph and Miz tells him to buzzoff. He was actually asking for a Mizdow autograph though. Mizdow signs it but Miz rips the thing up. Miz finally snaps and yells at Mizdow. Miz calls him the WORST STUNT DOUBLE HE'S EVER SEEN and FIRES HIM!!! Then he HIRES HIM as his personal assistant.

John Cena is backstage looking old



and then Erick Rowan walks up and thanks him for standing up for him. They shake hands.

Bray Wyatt defeated Dolph Ziggler via Pinfall in 11:48 [Sister Abigail]

Rollins backstage talking with HHH & Steph. HHH & Steph mention how they thought Randy Orton was the guy but all he did is complain. Rollins mentions how he's not Randy Orton and THANK GOD! He seems confident in facing Bryan.

Paige defeated Alicia Fox via Pinfall in 02:43 [Schoolboy] - Bellas were on commentary. Paige got the pinfall after being hit with a tiltawhirl backbreaker.

After the match Alicia Fox went CRAZY and put Paige in a ... CHIN LOCK! She held Paige as the Bellas came in and sprayed her with what Michael Cole called TANNING SPRAY. It was black. Paige looked very upset as the Bellas bailed and we went to commercial.

The Miz comes out for his match and Mizdow starts mimicking him. Miz yells at him and tells him to STAY PUT.

Sin Cara defeats The Miz via Pinfall in 5:38 [Some wacky flip pin] - Mizdow just couldn't HELP HIMSELF and would start mimicking Miz at points during the match. This would get Miz very upset. After Miz started to celebrate his dominance - Mizdow did also. Miz got distracted from this long enough that it cost him the match.

Rusev vs. Erick Rowan never got started - as Rusev started destroying Rowan before the bell even rang. Rusev locked in the Accolade and wouldn't let go. John Cena did not in fact, save his friend.

Lana got on the mic and put over Rusev and they showed a Rusev video package.

Hilarious botch at the end of the segment in the Russian Flag didn't fall. The crowd went APESHIT. Rusev didn't miss a BEAT and went nuts with Lana in the ring, grabbed his own flag and started waving it to end the segment.

Backstage Daniel Bryan & Roman Reigns have a talk about The Authority and Seth Rollins. Bryan tells him he better not hope he's getting his revenge on Seth at Fast Lane - because he's going to be facing him. Roman says he doesn't care who he's facing - he's going to win and go on to main event WrestleMania.. "Now get the hell out of my locker room".

Daniel Bryan defeated Seth Rollins via Pinfall in 14:09 [Busaiku Knee] - Tons of interference. The end saw Roman Reigns spear Big Show & Joey Mercury on the outside. Rollins bailed into the ring and the referee was trying to keep Reigns away, but then caught Noble coming into the ring with the MITB briefcase to nail Bryan. Once the refs back was turned and he snatched the briefcase away - Reigns hit Rollins with a SUPERMAN PUNCH - which lead to Bryan hitting the Busaiku Knee and getting the win.

Bryan cut a promo after the match and thanked the people for getting him where he was. Says he would beat Roman Reigns at Fast Lane (which got a very mixed reaction) and would go on to Main Event WRESTLEMANIA. A bunch of YES chants to end the show.

HulkaMatt fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Feb 3, 2015

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Sticky Nate
Jan 9, 2012

Bryan will need neck surgery before Mania

oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

please come back randy

Sticky Nate
Jan 9, 2012

oatgan posted:

please come back randy

Why get a belt if you don't even wear pants

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
That was a rad spear. Reigns looked like he was going about 30 MPH right before he left his feet.

checksin
Nov 23, 2006

I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

:chillout:

he knows...
roman reigns should never use any move other than the spear and powerbomb and he should also be named goldberg

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
Triple H RealTalk™ on the podcast right now.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002
That'd be hilarious if that actually was Randy sitting at ringside all night in that uncomfortable getup and Vince called a last minute audible to not use him after all.

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

That doesn't look real

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007



jesus christ :stare:

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"
Courtesy of WrasslorMonkey; he is a good gifsman.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Apart from the opening promo where he just kind of stood around while everybody else talked around him, this was a much better use of Roman Reigns, especially his little confrontation with Bryan in the lockerroom.

And that Bryan/Seth match was real fun.

Top Bunk Wanker
Jan 31, 2005

Top Trump Anger

If he keeps doing insanely sick moves like that he'll win people over by Wrestlemania for sure.

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

That spear is amazing

Ganso Bomb
Oct 24, 2005

turn it all around

How did Paige win after taking a back breaker? I'm so confused.

electric funeral
Oct 16, 2004

ACCIO PANTIES
*swoosh flick*

Top Bunk Wanker posted:

If he keeps doing insanely sick moves like that he'll win people over by Wrestlemania for sure.

He'll also need spinal fusion in about six months.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.
I tought that was a good episode of WWE Monday Night RAW

Chinston Wurchill
Jun 27, 2010

It's not that kind of test.



Kokeshi!

Gonzo McFee
Jun 19, 2010

Haha, Roman botched the spear and turned it into a flying headbutt.

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe

Beef Jerky Robot posted:

That spear is amazing

It's not that special.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Holy poo poo, was this ever the Roman Reigns Rehab (three) Hour(s). And I'll be damned if they didn't gain a lot of ground. That locker room promo, Main Event and his part in it were all loving fantastic.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.

Sanguinia posted:

Holy poo poo, was this ever the Roman Reigns Rehab (three) Hour(s). And I'll be damned if they didn't gain a lot of ground. That locker room promo, Main Event and his part in it were all loving fantastic.

yeah i liked the locker room promo, i want Bryan/Reigns to have heat beyond a face/face match.

Molestationary Store
May 21, 2007

Is Roman trying to literally kill The Big Show? Cause that would get Roman over with me and make me cheer him forever, if he literally killed The Big Show.

cams
Mar 28, 2003


roman reigns is going to beat daniel bryan and everyone is gonna cheer him

lol

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005



Why is he landing on his neck instead of the widest, flattest part of his back?

E:

cams posted:

roman reigns is going to beat daniel bryan and everyone is gonna cheer him

lol
also lol

Trip Larsen
Oct 4, 2006

My great-grandfather started Larsen Pork Products with little more than three pigs and a killing hammer. Today, I'm proud to say, we kill more pigs than pig hepatitis.
lol "you just can't be a big guy"

Vince just had an aneurysm

e: wrong thread, sorry mates

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

cams posted:

roman reigns is going to beat daniel bryan and everyone is gonna cheer him

lol

When the show ended with Bryan making the declaration he'll beat Reigns at Fastlane and main event Mania there was a brief but audible set of boos before the ing resumed.

The match and the crowd reactions should be fun as hell.

Blast Fantasto
Sep 18, 2007

USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ragnarok the Red posted:

When the show ended with Bryan making the declaration he'll beat Reigns at Fastlane and main event Mania there was a brief but audible set of boos before the ing resumed.

The match and the crowd reactions should be fun as hell.

This was basically a house show crowd. The idea that there would be two faces at a wrestling event was basically foreign, so they booed Bryan like he was a heel.

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe
It's really easy to turn you guys around on a guy, huh?

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.

Under the vegetable posted:

It's really easy to turn you guys around on a guy, huh?

if a guy is booked well then people will like him, wrestling world shocked and appaled

NutritiousSnack
Jul 12, 2011

Ragnarok the Red posted:

The match and the crowd reactions should be fun as hell.
Reigns will get booed worse than Hitler, if only because it will be a smark crowd.

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe
He's not being booked well though, imo. He's just having his weaknesses covered slightly more effectively. A lot of people immediately turned around with last week's RAW's interviews and they were just as bad as a Roman promo has always been. I don't get it. I don't know, though, apparently that sloppy spear/headbutt really impressed everybody.

NutritiousSnack
Jul 12, 2011

Blast Fantasto posted:

This was basically a house show crowd. The idea that there would be two faces at a wrestling event was basically foreign, so they booed Bryan like he was a heel.

they cheered the big show when he won as well.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

Alain Post posted:

if a guy is booked well then people will like him, wrestling world shocked and appaled

Then why do people like Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, Ziggler, etc? Maybe they aren't over after all!

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

I mean I'm still a cool guy who thinks hes the wrong choice this year but that spine shortener was awesome

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.

Under the vegetable posted:

He's not being booked well though, imo. He's just having his weaknesses covered slightly more effectively. A lot of people immediately turned around with last week's RAW's interviews and they were just as bad as a Roman promo has always been. I don't get it. I don't know, though, apparently that sloppy spear/headbutt really impressed everybody.

oh come on, if you want to say his delivery needs work, that's fair, but his stuff tonight has been nowhere near as bad as his horrendous attempts to do Rock/Cena comedy

The Bee
Nov 25, 2012

Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

Under the vegetable posted:

He's not being booked well though, imo. He's just having his weaknesses covered slightly more effectively. A lot of people immediately turned around with last week's RAW's interviews and they were just as bad as a Roman promo has always been. I don't get it. I don't know, though, apparently that sloppy spear/headbutt really impressed everybody.

Sloppy, maybe, but holy gently caress look at that velocity.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

Alain Post posted:

oh come on, if you want to say his delivery needs work, that's fair, but his stuff tonight has been nowhere near as bad as his horrendous attempts to do Rock/Cena comedy

Yeah, tonight he actually came off like Shield Roman Reigns throughout the entire show instead of Samoan Cena. Stuff like that goes a long way.

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Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

if roman keeps doing those he'll be like 5'4 and they'll stop pushing him

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