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AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Linguica posted:

If Ulbricht's insane Chewbacca-defense strategy actually works that just means more laffs on the laffchain though

It's interesting to see where Dratel's reputation might actually have come from. After all the procedural fuckups, he impresses people with his skill at closing arguments? Not what I was expecting, necessarily.

On the upside, Ross already has his If I Did It 99% written.

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trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Please dont post my business in here. ty

triple sulk
Sep 17, 2014



OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006


“We experience with our senses, with our perceptions, we make decisions based on facts we can rely on. There is a distinction between the Internet and—” here he heavily emphasized the letters, “—I. R. L. And we are here, I. R. L. The Internet denies us the opportunity to decide what’s a masquerade and what is hidden.”

Heresiarch
Oct 6, 2005

Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

JaysonAych posted:

who would believe this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might run the biggest drug marketplace on the internet? who? only a yoghurt. this man is not guilty of narcotics trafficking, he is only guilty of being ross ulbricht. that is his crime; it is also his punishment

Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

Dratel explained the Silk Road notes found in Ulbricht’s bedroom trashcan as having been dictated to him over the phone, perhaps by whoever was framing him.

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007

jre posted:

http://www.synereo.com

The revolutionary new Pump and dump scheme social network has a new scrolly website just in time for their funding attempt



lol sweet ten year old movie reference anderson

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.

Linguica posted:

Dratel explained the Silk Road notes found in Ulbricht’s bedroom trashcan as having been dictated to him over the phone, perhaps by whoever was framing him.

did he explain it as neuro-linguistic programming overriding ulbricht's wetware, causing him to write those notes and throw them away with no memory of doing so? the perfect crime.

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

Linguica posted:

Dratel explained the Silk Road notes found in Ulbricht’s bedroom trashcan as having been dictated to him over the phone, perhaps by whoever was framing him.

wait really?

ChickenOfTomorrow
Nov 11, 2012

god damn it, you've got to be kind

Crust First posted:

did he explain it as neuro-linguistic programming overriding ulbricht's wetware, causing him to write those notes and throw them away with no memory of doing so? the perfect crime.

The Butturian Candidate

Linguica
Jul 13, 2000
You're already dead

Dratel pointed out that very few of the characters introduced via chat logs and forum screenshots ever took the witness stand. (The two exceptions would be Jared Der-Yeghiayan, who was undercover as Silk Road moderator “cirrus” for months, and Ross Ulbricht’s friend Richard Bates). Of the rest, Dratel said, “You have no evidence that they are different people. Where is the proof that they are separate people? Where are the people came up to witness stand to say, ‘That was me,’ ‘That was me,’ ‘That was me’?”

:irony:

Heresiarch
Oct 6, 2005

Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.
does the prosecution go first with their closing statement, or the defense? because i would have loved to see the prosecution's response to the "but how can you really know anything, maaaan?" defense

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish
the defense can call witnesses right? why is he crying about certain people not getting brought forward?

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

Boxturret posted:

the defense can call witnesses right? why is he crying about certain people not getting brought forward?

here you go

http://ia600603.us.archive.org/21/items/gov.uscourts.nysd.422824/gov.uscourts.nysd.422824.173.0.pdf

Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

he tried to bring in bitcoin jesus last minute with a "it's for reasons" explanation and the judge did not like that, at all

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 13, 2007

by Cyrano4747

Boxturret posted:

the defense can call witnesses right? why is he crying about certain people not getting brought forward?

the judge shot down their expert witnesses because they were just butt nutters

my phone tried to correct expert to sperg for some reason and I think that would have been ok

ellie the beep
Jun 15, 2007

Vaginas, my subject.
Plane hulls, my medium.

JaysonAych posted:

who would believe this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tea bag, to be in a position where he might run the biggest drug marketplace on the internet? who? only a yoghurt. this man is not guilty of narcotics trafficking, he is only guilty of being ross ulbricht. that is his crime; it is also his punishment

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish
i know i read that thing and loved every word but these mysterious people weren't the ones they called. if they cared so much about them and proving that they weren't all mark karpeles they should have said something

theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007

that opinion was funny, but holy hell I would have loved to see aanton have to do a crossx where he can't just block the other person for saying facts he dislikes

SoupyTwist
Feb 20, 2008

Boxturret posted:

i know i read that thing and loved every word but these mysterious people weren't the ones they called. if they cared so much about them and proving that they weren't all mark karpeles they should have said something

The prosecution was going to bring "inigo" as a witness but backed out (probably due to Dratel springing the "you don't really know if Ross is DPR" defense)

I Greyhound
Apr 22, 2008

MusicKrew Dawn Patrol

Literally The Worst posted:

the judge shot down their expert witnesses because they were just butt nutters

my phone tried to correct expert to sperg for some reason and I think that would have been ok

Well mostly because Dratel was about 2 weeks late in mentioning he wanted them, and when he did, he didn't give sufficient info on who they were and why they were relevant.

FutuerBear
Feb 22, 2006
Slippery Tilde

surebet posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEdEr8CfF8o

on the one hand you might be surprised that he actually has teeth

on the other you probably won't be surprised by his poo poo opinion

Ross Ulbricht added 1 video to for later 2 years ago
How to Get Away with Stealing

i like this one

Muscle Tracer
Feb 23, 2007

Medals only weigh one down.

Powershift posted:

that's still doing stuff too.

https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=150803.msg10315710#msg10315710

nothing too interesting, other than the FTC shooting down BFL's 42 defenses one by loving one.

The FTC posted:

K. Defendants’ 29th Defense Is Legally Indefensible
For their 29th defense, Defendants assert that their business practices were economically
justified. First, this defense is so conclusory that the FTC has no fair notice or ability to
meaningfully respond to it. Moreover, this defense, while it may have possible merit against a
Case 4:14-cv-00815-BCW Document 255 Filed 01/30/15 Page 21 of 2414
consumer’s lawsuit, is without merit in a government law enforcement action. When Congress
enacted Section 5 of the FTC Act, it prohibited unfair and deceptive acts or practices in or
affecting commerce. 15 U.S.C. § 45(a). But Section 5 contains no safe harbor and the FTC is
unaware of any judicially-created exemption that would allow a party to engage in deceptive
practices if it was “economically justified.”
Thus, this defense fails.

:getin:

Beast of Bourbon
Sep 25, 2013

Pillbug
i really really like that defense though.

"your honor, we are only scamming and deceiving our customers because it's the only way we can make money, so you have to continue to let us do so."

fade5
May 31, 2012

by exmarx

jre posted:

http://www.synereo.com

The revolutionary new Pump and dump scheme social network has a new scrolly website just in time for their funding attempt



Laughs imminent
:suspense:
Reminder that one of those dudes is Erispa, and when Erispa was asked how Synereo would deal with Child Pornography:
"You can't keep child porn off a distributed network any more than you can keep ISIS off diaspora."

I actively hope Synereo crashes and burns as hard as loving possible, because that is a legitimately horrifying response

fade5 fucked around with this message at 01:54 on Feb 4, 2015

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe

AlbieQuirky posted:

It's interesting to see where Dratel's reputation might actually have come from. After all the procedural fuckups, he impresses people with his skill at closing arguments? Not what I was expecting, necessarily.

he graduated at the top of his class from Boston Legal University.

shadok
Dec 12, 2004

You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.
Fun Shoe

i wouldn't trust these doofbags to paint my garden shed, they look like they'd demand payment in advance, smoke weed all day in my back yard and then steal my lawnmower.

GameCube
Nov 21, 2006

Heresiarch posted:

does the prosecution go first with their closing statement, or the defense? because i would have loved to see the prosecution's response to the "but how can you really know anything, maaaan?" defense

Prosecutor Serrin Turner told the jury not to be swayed by the defense’s frame-job theory. “There were no little elves that put that evidence on [Ulbricht’s] computer,” he said.

Given that the defense has already conceded that Ulbricht created the Silk Road, prosecutors’ arguments focused instead on the duration of his ownership, trying to show that only one Dread Pirate Roberts ever controlled the site. Turner pointed to chat logs in which Ulbricht privately discussed using his Dread Pirate Roberts pseudonym to create the illusion of a “rotating command,” and suggested that the defense’s story that Ulbricht had given up the site was a similar trick. “The defendant is dusting off the Dread Pirate Roberts play and trying it one last time–on you, ladies and gentlemen,” Turner said.

and that was before the defense's closing argument. they got to respond:

In its rebuttal, the prosecution responded by reminding the jury one last time that Ulbricht was caught—IRL, not online—in a San Francisco public library, with his laptop logged into the Dread Pirate Roberts’ account on the Silk Road. “The defendant cannot escape the fact that he was caught with his fingers on the keyboard. He was caught redhanded,” said prosecutor Timothy Howard, who delivered the rebuttal. He called Dratel’s defense a “desperate attempt to create a smoke screen.”

“Don’t let the defendant insult your intelligence,” Howard added in his final address to the jury. Look at the evidence, he said, “and you’ll see the defendant’s wild conspiracy theories don’t hold water.”

fermun
Nov 4, 2009

text editor posted:

yeah this is real fuckin believable

haha, the number, $18M is the current-prices thing. If you look at when it was seized, they talked about how it was over $100M

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

fade5 posted:

Reminder that one of those dudes is Erispa, and when Erispa was asked how Synereo would deal with Child Pornography:
"You can't keep child porn off a distributed network any more than you can keep ISIS off diaspora."

I actively hope Synereo crashes and burns as hard as loving possible, because that is a legitimately horrifying response

none of those guys are eripsa

he's the fifth team member who isn't on that list

this is eripsa



https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=827782.msg9249243

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Feb 4, 2015

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost
im also pretty sure one of the other dudes is a goon as well

fade5
May 31, 2012

by exmarx

ayn rand hand job posted:

none of those guys are eripsa

he's the fifth team member who isn't on that list

this is eripsa



https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=827782.msg9249243
and I didn't think the erispa saga could get any funnier:lol:

I still hope Synereo crashes and burns, and since it's related to bitcoin, it will

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

did anyone post this yet?

http://www.coindesk.com/bitcoin-elite-meet-secret-island-bilderberg-style-retreat/

quote:

An unnamed Caribbean island is set to serve as the venue for a secretive, closed-door gathering of elite bitcoin CEOs and luminaries this weekend.

Satoshi Roundtable, to be held from 6th to 8th February, is suggestive of the famed Bilderberg conference, the annual meeting at which more than 100 finance experts gather in relative secret to the delight of global conspiracy theorists.

Organized by Bruce Fenton of the Bitcoin Association and Atlantic Financial, participants in the first annual Satoshi Roundtable include top executives from companies such as Blockchain, BitGo, BitPesa, Chain, ChangeTip, Coinapult and MegaBigPower, as well as noted VCs in the space such as Erik Voorhees and Roger Ver.

The event is openly exclusive, and as such, its official website cautions that only 50 members of the ecosystem will attend.

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001



http://satoshiroundtable.org/

surebet
Jan 10, 2013

avatar
specialist


joke thread on bct has new content

quote:

One evening the bitcoin blockchain came to a halt, it turns out Chuck Norris had mined all the remaining bitcoins, and the difficulty was larger than Graham's number.

quote:

Q: Why is there no gold at the end of the rainbow?
A: The Leprechaun took it and traded it for bitcoins!

quote:

lol bitcoin its orange .
orange not give happines
but always gives money
how my jokes cans makes you laugh right ?


quote:

Why did the bitcoin cross the road?

To get to the china bubble

just made that up

quote:


Well, one of my best jokes is one which played out in a thread after I created a poll.
This is what it was:

quote:

Ok, let's assume that the following scenario is actually possible, I would like to know how you feel when all these thing happen at the same time:

Bitcoin is under a 66% attack (double spends are happening)
Is also banned by the US, Russian, EU and China government by threat of 30 years jail time.
The real satoshi (proven by something) is found dead, killed.

quote:

Uh, you mean 51% attack?

quote:

No actually 66,6% attack

quote:

Whats the difference between a 51% attack and 66.6% attack?

quote:

15,6%

If you get the point it's hilarious. People should donate to me for it

quote:

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Bitcoin.

Bitcoin Who?

A peer-to-peer decentralized crypto-currency that utilizes open source software and public ledger called the blockchain to provide proof of work in solving the encrypted transactions ultimately increasing security and control in your personal finances.

quote:

How many Bitcoins does it take to screw the banking system?
Moon.

quote:

Jack and jill went up a hill, both with half a bitcoin.

Jill came down with 1 bitcoin, that loving whore.

quote:

Schrodinger's cat knows your private key. Maybe.

quote:

How do you make enough time for all the work and play with your computer?
- You don't. You mine with the GPU.

How do you know it's P2Pool?
- Balance still 0.00000000 after months of mining.

How do you know it's Bitcoin?
- All your inputs are less than the minimum fee per input.

quote:

Why did the Bitcoin cross the silkroad?

To commit computer hacking, traffic in fraudulent identification documents, and money laundering conspiracy.

quote:

Is that an Antminer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me.

quote:

another good one:

"A Gavincoin and an MPCoin meet in a bar. Says Gavincoin to MPcoin: 'fork you!' Says Mpcoin to Gavincoin: 'No, fork you!' "

quote:

A Bitcoiner jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Bitcoiner: Just take me for a ride.

A Shitcoiner jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Shircoiner: What makes you think I'm goin' anywhere?

A Dogecoinger jumps into a cab...

Cabbie: Where to, bud?
Dogecoiner: Very far. Much fast. Wow.
Cabbie: Wow, as in Bow?
Dogecoiner: So clever.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

shadok posted:

he graduated at the top of his class from Boston Legal University.

When Ross hired Dratel, there was a certain amount of "Oo, this guy's a big deal, look out, Feds" in the media, and today was the first time in the whole trial I saw any praise for him from journalists.

Heresiarch
Oct 6, 2005

Literature is not exhaustible, for the sufficient and simple reason that no single book is. A book is not an isolated being: it is a relationship, an axis of innumerable relationships.

As a Millennial I posted:

Prosecutor Serrin Turner told the jury not to be swayed by the defense’s frame-job theory. “There were no little elves that put that evidence on [Ulbricht’s] computer,” he said.

Given that the defense has already conceded that Ulbricht created the Silk Road, prosecutors’ arguments focused instead on the duration of his ownership, trying to show that only one Dread Pirate Roberts ever controlled the site. Turner pointed to chat logs in which Ulbricht privately discussed using his Dread Pirate Roberts pseudonym to create the illusion of a “rotating command,” and suggested that the defense’s story that Ulbricht had given up the site was a similar trick. “The defendant is dusting off the Dread Pirate Roberts play and trying it one last time–on you, ladies and gentlemen,” Turner said.

and that was before the defense's closing argument. they got to respond:

In its rebuttal, the prosecution responded by reminding the jury one last time that Ulbricht was caught—IRL, not online—in a San Francisco public library, with his laptop logged into the Dread Pirate Roberts’ account on the Silk Road. “The defendant cannot escape the fact that he was caught with his fingers on the keyboard. He was caught redhanded,” said prosecutor Timothy Howard, who delivered the rebuttal. He called Dratel’s defense a “desperate attempt to create a smoke screen.”

“Don’t let the defendant insult your intelligence,” Howard added in his final address to the jury. Look at the evidence, he said, “and you’ll see the defendant’s wild conspiracy theories don’t hold water.”

not as scathing as i would have like but i suppose he had to portray the prosecution as the sane choice compared to the defense's bizarro-world theories. still a good response, concentrating on the evidence. i'm less worried about the verdict now

although the fact that some news site used "IRL" in an article made me twitch for a moment

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

lol, that secret bitcoin retreat is being run by a certain bruce fenton. someone on bitcointalk noticed that he was also behind http://www.fdvt.com/

quote:

FDVT Corp.

FDVT was founded in 1985. We provide solutions to help understand changes in our world. Specifically we provide IT consulting, Internet consulting, social media consulting, security and economic advisory consulting.

Customers of FDVT include:
US Army
US Navy
US Coast Guard
US Air Force
US Postal Service
US Postal Inspector Service
FBI - Federal Bureau of Investigation
IRS - Internal Revue Service
DEA - Drug Enforcement Agency
Veterans Administration
City Of New York and New York Police Department (NYPD)
Eastern Bank
TCF Bank
Bank of America

lol

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TVarmy
Sep 11, 2011

like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value

"The event is openly exclusive, and as such, its official website cautions that only 50 members of the ecosystem will attend."

the article is clearly ambiguous.

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