bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

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FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

I like to think someone threw the trash into a poison oak knowing specifically that ross ulbricht would go after it.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:47

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# ? May 5, 2024 17:55

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Herman Merman posted:

I. THE BURIAL OF THE THREAD

FEBRUARY is the cruellest month, flogging
jokes out of the dead horse, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull posts with fleeting hope.
Reddit kept us warm, covering
Earth in ignorant chaff, feeding
A little laffs with dried berries.
The Feds surprised us, coming over the Darknet
With a handful of warrants; we stopped at Starbucks,
And went on in the drizzle, into Shibuya,

And drank coffee, and chatted for an hour.
Je ne suis pas un Japonais, originaire d'Bourgogne, vrai fran�ais.
And when we were in business, hosted at Ross's,
My first mate's, they found us out,
And he was frightened. He said, Mark,
Mark, I want out. But down he went.
In the Orient, there you feel free.
I shitpost, much of the night, and troll Twitter in the winter.

Where are the posts that dazzle, what fives grow
Out of this tired rubbish? Son of man,

You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken links, where the drollery fails,
And the old scams give us no mirth, the undead no relief,
And the mods no promise of future. Only
There is a shadow under this thread,
(Come in under the shadow of this thread),
And I will show you something different from either
A bitcoiner at morning buying eagerly
Or a bitcoiner at evening hodling stubbornly;

I will show you fear in a handful of bits.

goldmine

# ? Feb 16, 2015 19:53

Nagato: Apr 26, 2011; Why yes my username is the same as an autistic alien who looks like a 9 year old from an anime, why do ask?

mods pls

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:01

shadok: Dec 12, 2004; You tried to destroy it once before, Commodore.
The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.; Fun Shoe

Heresiarch posted:

the question i have now is whether karpeles is pronounced "kar-pells" or "kar-pel-es" because that will determine whether "consider karpeles" or "the magical mister mark karpeles" has the correct meter

three syllables. kar-pel-es.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:03

Erenthal: Jan 1, 2008; A relaxing walk in the woods; Grimey Drawer

t.s. eliot, known cat lover... hmmm

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:04

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

FAUXTON posted:

I like to think someone threw the trash into a poison oak knowing specifically that ross ulbricht would go after it.

"someone"

you can type karpeles's name here. he isn't voldemort or candlejack or anyo

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:17

ChickenOfTomorrow: Nov 11, 2012; god damn it, you've got to be kind

Rick Ross Ulbricht posted:

the wasteland is v apropos. close thread, goldmine

this plus new thread pls

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:23

creatine: Jan 27, 2012

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

where do i send my headshot and me just reading the line "has anyone said buttcoin yet?"

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:41

pgroce: Oct 24, 2002

At the Seastead offshore
where the miners all mine
and the wind blows stale BO through the brine,
and nothing's ever heard, 'cept cooling fans' whine...
is the Pit of the Blasted Mt. Gox.

And down past the mining rigs, some people say,
if you look long enough you can still see, today,
where ol' Mt. Gox once stood
just as long as it could
before Men With Guns took all our fortunes away.

What was this Mt. Gox?
And why was it there?
Were Gox coins real? Were they merely thin air?
And did Gox lose all DPR's loot from Silk Road?
Mark Karpeles still tweets there.
Ask him. He knows.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 20:48

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

AlbieQuirky posted:

"someone"

you can type karpeles's name here. he isn't voldemort or candlejack or anyo

but if you can type those names then they are not them either, so who is!?!!

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:03

surebet: Jan 10, 2013; ａｖａｔａｒ
ｓｐｅｃｉａｌｉｓｔ

ChickenOfTomorrow posted:

this plus new thread pls

meh at least wait until the next happening cycle, otherwise it's just a bunch of random threadforks for a couple weeks and i hate the resynch

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:07

Crankit: Feb 7, 2011; HE WATCHES

Heresiarch posted:

the question i have now is whether karpeles is pronounced "kar-pells" or "kar-pel-es" because that will determine whether "consider karpeles" or "the magical mister mark karpeles" has the correct meter

his name is french so you probably don't pronounce the s on the end

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:07

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

Crankit posted:

his name is french so you probably don't pronounce the s on the end

it's probably something like "kur-poo-lay" but with all the syllables really slurred together

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:30

Jizz Festival: Oct 30, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Crankit posted:

his name is french so you probably don't pronounce the s on the end

Karpeles is a greek surname pretty sure.

edit: Jewish?

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:32

bucketmouse: Aug 16, 2004; we con-trol the ho-ri-zon-tal
we con-trol the verrr-ti-cal

Herman Merman posted:

I. THE BURIAL OF THE THREAD

FEBRUARY is the cruellest month, flogging
jokes out of the dead horse, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull posts with fleeting hope.
Reddit kept us warm, covering
Earth in ignorant chaff, feeding
A little laffs with dried berries.
The Feds surprised us, coming over the Darknet
With a handful of warrants; we stopped at Starbucks,
And went on in the drizzle, into Shibuya,

And drank coffee, and chatted for an hour.
Je ne suis pas un Japonais, originaire d'Bourgogne, vrai fran�ais.
And when we were in business, hosted at Ross's,
My first mate's, they found us out,
And he was frightened. He said, Mark,
Mark, I want out. But down he went.
In the Orient, there you feel free.
I shitpost, much of the night, and troll Twitter in the winter.

Where are the posts that dazzle, what fives grow
Out of this tired rubbish? Son of man,

You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken links, where the drollery fails,
And the old scams give us no mirth, the undead no relief,
And the mods no promise of future. Only
There is a shadow under this thread,
(Come in under the shadow of this thread),
And I will show you something different from either
A bitcoiner at morning buying eagerly
Or a bitcoiner at evening hodling stubbornly;

I will show you fear in a handful of bits.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:42

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

car-pele (like the footballer who advertises erectile dysfunction meds)

# ? Feb 16, 2015 21:44

pylb: Sep 22, 2010; ^{"The superfluous, a very necessary thing"}

Crankit posted:

his name is french so you probably don't pronounce the s on the end

He's French, but his name isn't. I'm 99% sure it's pronounced Car-pay-less.

Bonus interview I found:
http://www.20minutes.fr/tv/entertainment/101394-mark-karpeles-un-supergeek-francais-dans-le-documentaire-suck-my-geek-de-canal-extraits
"I have plenty of girlfriends but they're in JPEG or PNG, or even AVI."

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:00

Mastodon Henley: Aug 12, 2003; So... how's your girl?

surebet posted:

meh at least wait until the next happening cycle, otherwise it's just a bunch of random threadforks for a couple weeks and i hate the resynch

think about the laffchain and what's good for Buttcoin, troll

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:01

Boxturret: Oct 3, 2013; Don't ask me about Sonic the Hedgehog diaper fetish

pylb posted:

pay-less.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:06

Bruce Snare: Feb 7, 2013

Crankit posted:

his name is french so you probably don't pronounce the s on the end

Karpeles is definitely not a French name, but a Frenchman would certainly stress the final syllable and pronounce the s. The e would be pronounced as the "ea" in "sweat".

e:

pylb posted:

He's French, but his name isn't. I'm 99% sure it's pronounced Car-pay-less.

Yeah that's a way simpler way to put it.

Bruce Snare fucked around with this message at 22:09 on Feb 16, 2015

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:07

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

Heresiarch posted:

the question i have now is whether karpeles is pronounced "kar-pells" or "kar-pel-es" because that will determine whether "consider karpeles" or "the magical mister mark karpeles" has the correct meter

The accent on Karpel�s would lead me to assume a stress on the third syllable, but that's just my Quebecer intuition.

Speaking of Mark, coming up on the anniversary of the bankruptcy announcement. What a surprise birthday treat that was for me in 2014.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epaSJ_f_rLg

Herman Merman posted:

I. THE BURIAL OF THE THREAD

FEBRUARY is the cruellest month, flogging
jokes out of the dead horse, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull posts with fleeting hope.
Reddit kept us warm, covering
Earth in ignorant chaff, feeding
A little laffs with dried berries.
The Feds surprised us, coming over the Darknet
With a handful of warrants; we stopped at Starbucks,
And went on in the drizzle, into Shibuya,

And drank coffee, and chatted for an hour.
Je ne suis pas un Japonais, originaire d'Bourgogne, vrai fran�ais.
And when we were in business, hosted at Ross's,
My first mate's, they found us out,
And he was frightened. He said, Mark,
Mark, I want out. But down he went.
In the Orient, there you feel free.
I shitpost, much of the night, and troll Twitter in the winter.

Where are the posts that dazzle, what fives grow
Out of this tired rubbish? Son of man,

You cannot say, or guess, for you know only
A heap of broken links, where the drollery fails,
And the old scams give us no mirth, the undead no relief,
And the mods no promise of future. Only
There is a shadow under this thread,
(Come in under the shadow of this thread),
And I will show you something different from either
A bitcoiner at morning buying eagerly
Or a bitcoiner at evening hodling stubbornly;

I will show you fear in a handful of bits.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:15

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

way too easy, but eh, i got this far may as well post it

And when all the investors find their bitcoin's gone astray,
Or the speculators lose some pounds and dollars by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
But it's useless to investigate - Mark Karpeles' not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
'It must have been Mark Karpeles!' - but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated SHA-1 sums.

Mark Karpeles, Mark Karpeles, there's no one like Mark Karpeles,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place - MARK KARPELES WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known,
(I might mention DPR, I might mention Tibanne)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:23

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Let us agree on Bitcoin's superiority to gold and make publicly known our unified, well-reasoned base target price of $88,888 per bitcoin.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:32

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

MeLKoR posted:

Let us agree on Bitcoin's superiority to gold and make publicly known our unified, well-reasoned base target price of $88,888 per bitcoin.

I think you mean $69,420

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:33

FutuerBear: Feb 22, 2006; Slippery Tilde

lol

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:38

MORE CURLY FRIES: Apr 8, 2004

BWA (Ahhahahaha)

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:39

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

FutuerBear posted:

lol

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:40

Lain Iwakura: Aug 5, 2004; The body exists only to verify one's own existence.; Taco Defender

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

replace "wealth" with "meth"

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:43

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

Soricidus posted:

way too easy, but eh, i got this far may as well post it

And when all the investors find their bitcoin's gone astray,
Or the speculators lose some pounds and dollars by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
But it's useless to investigate - Mark Karpeles' not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
'It must have been Mark Karpeles!' - but he's a mile away.
You'll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated SHA-1 sums.

Mark Karpeles, Mark Karpeles, there's no one like Mark Karpeles,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place - MARK KARPELES WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known,
(I might mention DPR, I might mention Tibanne)
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 22:46

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

The greatest magicians
Have something to learn
From Mr. Mark Karpeles' conjuring turn...!!

And we all say:
Oh well, I never
Was there ever
A bitlord clever
as Magical Mr. Mark Karpeles

He's a brunette, he is French and he's fat
From his head to the base of his bottom
He can travel the world (save France)
But he roosts in Japan every Autumn

He can rig an exchange with a bot
He is equally cunning with posts
He is always deceiving you, into believing
The exchange was closed by its hosts

He can play any trick from a ball,
Or preparing to start a cafe
You can protest from out in the hall,
Or hold signs in the Nipponese rain

You have seen the price run up
Believed it's no con
And then all the bitcoins
are VANISHED AND GONE...

And we all said:

# ? Feb 16, 2015 23:19

Greyhawk: May 30, 2001

it's so easy

quote:

[AMA] I have been living almost exclusively on BTC for almost two years... (self.Bitcoin)

________

Where do you live? Think a lot depends on that.
How do you pay for transportation?

[�]living_on_bitcoin[S] 2 points 16 minutes ago
I live in US. I buy gas in a somewhat roundabout way, using Gyft to buy Sears gift cards, then using those to buy Shell gift cards from Sears. Sears is the only place I've found so far that takes gift cards to buy other gift cards. On long trips over hundreds of miles, I have to look up Sears locations on the route to my destination, and stop by those when I am running low on gas. Bit of extra work, but adds a bit of a hunt type adventure to my trip.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 23:45

Crust First: May 1, 2013; Wrong lads.

there's a bitcoin site called brawker, where you trade your bitcoins to strangers so that they will purchase stuff for you with stolen credit cards and then your house gets raided or whatever, it's very popular among bitcoiners.

quote:

WillieSmothers 36 points 7 hours ago

I used Brawker to buy a gift card which I didn't spend immediately. The charge was reversed and the gift card invalidated. When I contacted Brawker, they informed me that I needed to spend the gift card immediately to avoid being scammed. Essentially they said that the charge back is the gift card vendor's probem so long as I don't hold the gift card any longer than necessary. Their business model is unethical and they should be avoided because scammers are all over that site with fake credit cards.

# ? Feb 16, 2015 23:49

Rick Ross Ulbricht: Feb 3, 2010; put yourself in the shoes of a prosecutor trying to build a case against you. what evidence could they pin on you? there is nothing on your laptop for them to use, if you obscure your bitcoins propperly, there is no way for them to trace them back to me.

Crust First posted:

there's a bitcoin site called brawker, where you trade your bitcoins to strangers so that they will purchase stuff for you with stolen credit cards and then your house gets raided or whatever, it's very popular among bitcoiners.

at least they're honest about the legitimacy of their operation

# ? Feb 16, 2015 23:51

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Crust First posted:

there's a bitcoin site called brawker, where you trade your bitcoins to strangers so that they will purchase stuff for you with stolen credit cards and then your house gets raided or whatever, it's very popular among bitcoiners.

welp, guess we can cross off "no chargebacks" as well then

# ? Feb 16, 2015 23:51

Qwertycoatl: Dec 31, 2008

FutuerBear posted:

lol

bill gates wrote an article recently that had a big section about the importance of digital currency in developing countries. no mention of bitcoin though because it was only about digital currencies that matter

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:03

Best Friends: Nov 4, 2011

seriously this is now officially a gbs thread about bitcoin celebrities ples kill it

if something actually happens in funy bitcoin news then a new thread can happen

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:04

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

pgroce posted:

At the Seastead offshore
where the miners all mine
and the wind blows stale BO through the brine,
and nothing's ever heard, 'cept cooling fans' whine...
is the Pit of the Blasted Mt. Gox.

And down past the mining rigs, some people say,
if you look long enough you can still see, today,
where ol' Mt. Gox once stood
just as long as it could
before Men With Guns took all our fortunes away.

What was this Mt. Gox?
And why was it there?
Were Gox coins real? Were they merely thin air?
And did Gox lose all DPR's loot from Silk Road?
Mark Karpeles still tweets there.
Ask him. He knows.

this needs more love

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:10

killhamster: Apr 15, 2004; SCAMMER
Hero Member

i'm dyin here

my mom just emailed me asking waht bitcoin is

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:13

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Best Friends posted:

seriously this is now officially a gbs thread about bitcoin celebrities ples kill it

if something actually happens in funy bitcoin news then a new thread can happen

ok cool

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 5, 2024 17:55

Just-In-Timeberlake: Aug 18, 2003

killhamster posted:

i'm dyin here

my mom just emailed me asking waht bitcoin is

sever

# ? Feb 17, 2015 00:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

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