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Tony quidprano
Jan 19, 2014
IM SO BAD AT ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT F1 IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY SOME DUDE WITH TOO MUCH FREE MONEY WILL KEEP CHANGING IT UNTIL I SHUT THE FUCK UP OR ACTUALLY POST SOMETHING THAT ISNT SPEWING HATE/SLURS/TELLING PEOPLE TO KILL THEMSELVES

dsriggs posted:

Oh come on, for the 80's & 90's Adelaide was a great street circuit, especially when you compare it to garbage like Phoenix or Dallas.

Dallas was a fine rallycross event and I won't have somebody dissing it.

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Human Grand Prix
Jan 24, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

El Hefe posted:

Watching Australia 94 and drat Adelaide was an awful track, it looked like one of those awful CART tracks.

It's not too bad, really. Also the US GPs were cool because they were a real test of a driver's ability and the car's reliability. Also wacky grids.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'
It owns that Schumi won all his WDCs by cheating.

Damon Hill had the same thousand yard stare as Alonso in 2012.

Human Grand Prix
Jan 24, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

El Hefe posted:

It owns that Schumi won all his WDCs by cheating.

Damon Hill had the same thousand yard stare as Alonso in 2012.

Damon Hill had/developed what was to be the best car of 1994 with the best engine, Schumacher had a weezing V8 and a car that would be better suited to Initial D.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'

Human Grand Prix posted:

Damon Hill had/developed what was to be the best car of 1994 with the best engine, Schumacher had a weezing V8 and a car that would be better suited to Initial D.

Hence, he resorted to cheating.

Butt Wizard
Nov 3, 2005

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

El Hefe posted:

Hence, he resorted to cheating.

And he still managed to outwit the crafty English and the incredibly biased FIA.

He's a true German hero.

E: Also watch Canada 1998 - it has everything - thrills, spills, Schumacher running people off the road, it owns.

Sulman
Apr 29, 2003

What did you do that for?

All this revisionism about the B194.Y'all should tell Rory Byrne. It was - according to him - the best car he designed.

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Setter is Better.

Sulman posted:

All this revisionism about the B194.Y'all should tell Rory Byrne. It was - according to him - the best car he designed.

The Ford really was much worse than the Renault, though, to the point that Flavio bought an entire other team to get a Renault contract.

Butt Wizard
Nov 3, 2005

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Alain Post posted:

The Ford really was much worse than the Renault, though, to the point that Flavio bought an entire other team to get a Renault contract.

Agreed, and considering how much of a non-event the 1995 championship was by comparison, it's probably safe to say that the Renault was Schumacher's real competition for the title in 1994.

IceAgeComing
Jan 29, 2013

pretty fucking embarrassing to watch

El Hefe posted:

Watching Australia 94 and drat Adelaide was an awful track, it looked like one of those awful CART tracks.

you are very, very wrong

thegasman2000
Feb 12, 2005
Update my TFLC log? BOLLOCKS!
/
:backtowork:

Riso posted:

Look guys I already wrote a McLaren bit months ago and posted. It's not my fault you're all slackers.

Right riso you get force India! Different enough to annoy but with so much mclaren crossover it's repetitive.

I reckon Alonso's will be short. Died on preseason see worst thread for details.

enri
Dec 16, 2003

Hope you're having an amazing day

thegasman2000 posted:

Right riso you get force India! Different enough to annoy but with so much mclaren crossover it's repetitive.

I reckon Alonso's will be short. Died on preseason see worst thread for details.

See previous worst thread for details... or as it will be known by its full title, the previously worst but now second worst thread

Custard Undies
Jan 7, 2006

#essereFerrari

Just watch the first lap of Spa 98 :)

Although if you watch the whole race you get to see a great pit moment with Schumi and Coulthard

Human Grand Prix
Jan 24, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Alain Post posted:

The Ford really was much worse than the Renault, though, to the point that Flavio bought an entire other team to get a Renault contract.


I never realized that was his reason for buying Ligier.

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

Adelaide was a good track that attracted huge crowds and a lot of the drivers liked it. It was kind of amazing that such a relatively small city managed to snag an F1 race at all, let alone the season finisher. I'd really like it to go back there instead of Melbourne actually. Or to do an alternating thing like Hockenheim and Nurburgring do/did.

Butt Wizard
Nov 3, 2005

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

darth cookie posted:

Adelaide was a good track that attracted huge crowds and a lot of the drivers liked it. It was kind of amazing that such a relatively small city managed to snag an F1 race at all, let alone the season finisher. I'd really like it to go back there instead of Melbourne actually. Or to do an alternating thing like Hockenheim and Nurburgring do/did.

The track is pretty different now but I'm not sure how you'd deal with Turn 8. It's still eating cars and killing drivers even at V8 speeds.

Sashimi
Dec 26, 2008


College Slice
Surely the worst track was the Caesar's Palace GP, literally held in their parking lot.

djssniper
Jan 10, 2003


thegasman2000 posted:

Right riso you get force India! Different enough to annoy but with so much mclaren crossover it's repetitive.

I reckon Alonso's will be short. Died on preseason see worst thread for details.

Farce India... there's a lot of comedy source to do a good writeup

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'
I don't know what's to like about Adelaide, short track, very few passing opportunities, very few escape areas, I guess drivers back then liked it because it was a death trap circuit like all the others but in a civilized country.

Monaco is another poo poo track that's only in the calendar because of tradition.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


hefe how the gently caress are we going to make it through this season together

You Am I
May 20, 2001

Me @ your poasting

El Hefe posted:

I don't know what's to like about Adelaide, short track, very few passing opportunities, very few escape areas, I guess drivers back then liked it because it was a death trap circuit like all the others but in a civilized country.

Monaco is another poo poo track that's only in the calendar because of tradition.

I think most drivers liked it because of the atmosphere. The condition of the road sections of the track were far better than the road circuit tracks in the US. The first Adelaide race the town really put on a show, the drivers were amazed how well they were looked after, how nice the hotels were, etc compared to the poo poo they got on the European circuit.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'

be nice wicka posted:

hefe how the gently caress are we going to make it through this season together

I'll be lucky if we still have internet and directv working in this country by November.

Norns
Nov 21, 2011

Senior Shitposting Strategist

El Hefe posted:

I'll be lucky if we still have internet and directv working in this country by November.

Where you at?

Wirth1000
May 12, 2010

#essereFerrari

Norns posted:

Where you at?

He idolizes Pastor Maldonado but the thing is it's only because someone is literally holding a gun to his head. That should clue you in.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

Norns posted:

Where you at?

Mexico

Human Grand Prix
Jan 24, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
I'm going to be surprised if McLaren get into the points in Australia.

poopzilla
Nov 23, 2004

I'm going to be surprised if Mclaren finishes the race in Australia.

gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak


El Hefe posted:

I'll be lucky if we still have internet and directv working in this country by November.

Most importantly, how's the toilet paper situation? Hope you've stocked up on the nice kind.

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



Sashimi posted:

Surely the worst track was the Caesar's Palace GP, literally held in their parking lot.

the actual worst track is, and has always been, silverstone

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

You Am I posted:

I think most drivers liked it because of the atmosphere. The condition of the road sections of the track were far better than the road circuit tracks in the US. The first Adelaide race the town really put on a show, the drivers were amazed how well they were looked after, how nice the hotels were, etc compared to the poo poo they got on the European circuit.


That, and the last race in '94 attracted half a million people over the race weekend. Not bad for a city of barely a million at the time.

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


Riso posted:

I wrote it months ago. Please use in the 2015 season opener, thanks.

2015.
It was the dawn of a new age.
Honda has returned to Formula 1.

Ron Dennis hopes to rekindle the unholy alliance that dominated the sport from 1988-1991. No stone was left unturned at McLaren after Ron Dennis took back the reigns. The weak (Sam Michael) were culled and the strong (Podromou) were poached. The former head aero genius at the no good cheating drink company's rolling marketing now controls the winds at a proper racing focused engineering team.

Ron Dennis' final coup to bring it all together on track was liberating Fernando Alonso from the stifling incompetency of a Spaghetti team.
In an uncharacteristically smart decision, most likeable British Tory racing driver Jenson Button was retained to be his team mate.

Needs updating

Dubs
Mar 6, 2007

Stroll Own Zone.
Disregard Stroll outside zone.

Human Grand Prix posted:

I'm going to be surprised if McLaren get into the points in Australia.

poopzilla posted:

I'm going to be surprised if Mclaren finishes the race in Australia.

The only reason Marclaren wont win in Australia is beacuse of racism

autralia is known for it

thegasman2000
Feb 12, 2005
Update my TFLC log? BOLLOCKS!
/
:backtowork:

poopzilla posted:

I'm going to be surprised if Mclaren finishes the race in Australia.

I will be surprised if mclaren have any spare engines left after Australia.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'
#ForzaAlonso

Wirth1000
May 12, 2010

#essereFerrari

quote:

Sauber says that it will defend the court action launched by Giedo van der Garde in the Supreme Court of Victoria.
Van der Garde is hoping that the Australian court will force Sauber to follow a recent arbitration ruling in Switzerland, and allow him to race. The case will be heard on Monday.

“As this matter is currently before the courts it would be inappropriate for me to comment on specific details,” said team boss Monisha Kaltenborn. “However, we will take all necessary steps to protect our company, this team and its interests.

“Last year was a challenging time for us but going into the 2015 season we have been focused on putting steps in place to ensure that we are delivering the best outcomes for F1’s fans.”

In its statement the team explained the Swiss court decision – and spelled van der Garde’s name incorrectly: “In a first partial award of a Swiss arbitral tribunal, the application of Mr van der Garde was upheld, with the tribunal relevantly ordering Sauber to refrain from taking action the effect of which would be to deprive Guido van der Garde of his entitlement to participate in the 2015 Formula One season as one of Sauber’s two nominated race drivers. Mr van der Garde has this week brought an application before an Australian court in Melbourne, the city hosting the first Grand Prix of the 2015 season on Sunday, March 15, to enforce that arbitral award. next week, March 9.”

Yeah, this will really endear you to all the mechanics and team personnel who have to assemble and run the car for you.

Diet Crack
Jan 15, 2001

He's mental, hasn't he seen what happened to Jules and Fernando?!?!

#ForzaJules
#ForzAlonso

Dumb Username
Oct 20, 2012
#ForzaGuido

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


:rice::rice:
code:
FERRARI
    TEAM - Ghost of Mussolini
    VETTEL - Butt Wizard
    KIMI - Diplomat

FINDIA 
    TEAM - Ilanin (track or team only)
    PEREZ - CratSock (driver only)
    HULK - thegasman2000
    

LOTUS
    TEAM - gret
    BIG JOHN - Myrddin_Emrys
    F1 RACE WINNER PASTOR MALDONADO - The Sweet Hereafter

MANOR 
    TEAM - Brainwrong  
    WILL STEVENS - willcrouch
    ???? - ukle
McLAREN    
    TEAM - Riso (because why not)
    ALONSO - Jedit
    BUTTON - NtotheTC
    K-MAG - poty

MERCEDES
    TEAM - Alain Post (team only?)
    ARE LEWIS - jammyozzy
    NICO - George Zimmer

RED BULL
    TEAM - poopzilla
    AUSSIE DAN - Flayer
    RUSSIAN DAN - MrL_JaKiri
   
SAUBER
    Team - Daduzi
    ERICSSON - enri
    NASR - krushgroove

TORO ROSSO
    TEAM - captainOrbital
    BAD MAX - Serperoth    
    Juan Carlos Jr. - Rhopunzel

WILLIAMS
    TEAM - pik_d
    MASSA - Sashimi
    BUTT rear end - Jon Von Anchovi (Driver Only)


TRACKS
    AUSTRALIA: Melbourne 	15 March
    keevo

    MALAYSIA: Kuala Lumpur         	29 March
    HJB

    CHINA: Shanghai 	12 April
    Funzo

    BAHRAIN: Bahrain	19 April
    simplefish

    SPAIN: Barcelona-Catalunya 	10 May
    Falken


6 	Monaco Grand Prix 	Monaco  Circuit de Monaco, Monte Carlo 	24 May
aequalis


7 	Canadian Grand Prix 	Canada Circuit Gilles Villeneuve, Montreal 	7 June
8 	Austrian Grand Prix 	Austria Red Bull Ring, Spielberg 	21 June
9 	British Grand Prix 	United Kingdom Silverstone Circuit, Silverstone 	5 July
10 	German Grand Prix 	To be announced[43][44] 	19 July
11 	Hungarian Grand Prix 	Hungary Hungaroring, Budapest 	26 July
12 	Belgian Grand Prix 	Belgium Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps, Stavelot 	23 August
13 	Italian Grand Prix 	Italy Autodromo Nazionale Monza, Monza 	6 September
14 	Singapore Grand Prix 	Singapore Marina Bay Street Circuit, Singapore 	20 September
15 	Japanese Grand Prix 	Japan Suzuka Circuit, Suzuka 	27 September  
16 	Russian Grand Prix 	Russia Sochi Autodrom, Sochi 	11 October
17 	United States Grand Prix 	United States Circuit of the Americas, Austin, Texas 	25 October
18 	Mexican Grand Prix 	Mexico Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez, Mexico City        	1 November
19 	Brazilian Grand Prix 	Brazil Autódromo José Carlos Pace, São Paulo 	15 November
20 	Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 	United Arab Emirates Yas Marina Circuit, Abu Dhabi 	29 November
Right then you nerds, get writing. Feel free to swap assignments around if you like but if nobody swaps with you, don't whine about it.
Co-ordinating with your team/driver buddies is encouraged.
Team people should include notable figures, like Sam Michael, Boullier, Ron, Wolff etc
Oh and include things for your team/driver even that you think are stupid. The OP should orientate new fans and partners, so Hammer Time should probably be explained, even if you think it shouldn't be a catchphrase. On that note, it'd probably be helpful if whoever got the Enstone team could explain why commentators will be talking about an Enstone team when there is no team called Enstone, and why Eddie Jordan cares so much about Force India - things like that, places and history.

I suppose someone can do a #forza post for Michael, whom we must keep fighting apparently, and Jules, who drools and not much else.

Other tracks to be filled on a first-come, first-served basis.

Now is a good time to bring out your gifs and other pictures or links that we will probably use next year, for example:
any maldonaderps
the link to the anime f1 intro
dreadlock marshall in funny hat (both years)
Kimi stuff about having a poo poo, eating ice cream, knowing what he is doing
the Canada bird
Horny Horner
Beautiful britney
vettel crashing into a sign
any really good overtakes
are lewis photoshops and tweets #megajet
someone wanted to put together a list of old races? throw that in too.
whatever else that I can't remember right now

:siren: IF YOU WANT IT IN THE NEW OP, WRITE "notice me" [quote marks obviously not needed] SOMEWHERE ON YOUR POST:siren:
I am happy to curate this, but if you want it in, you've got to put the tag on or I'll probably miss it because I'm going to ctrl+f "notice me" to find content

Oh, and everything is a suggestion. So if you don't want to include anything I mentioned, then don't. It's important that you are able to write your own thing, rather than feeling I'm prescriptive, because the patchwork nature is what we're aiming for.

simplefish fucked around with this message at 07:48 on Mar 7, 2015

Kilmers Elbow
Jun 15, 2012

Wirth1000 posted:

He idolizes Pastor Maldonado but the thing is it's only because someone is literally holding a gun to his head. That should clue you in.

Stevenage?

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Dubs
Mar 6, 2007

Stroll Own Zone.
Disregard Stroll outside zone.
I shall write up the reason that any lack of success at Mclaren-Honda is the fault of neither party and is simply racism against them.

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