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I honestly don't hate Vettel anymore. Still hate Lewis.
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Mar 7, 2015 19:37
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notice me here's my thing for Carlos Sainz Jr, tell me if it's too long/short/crappy or feel free to edit/cut whatever Son of two time WRC champion Carlos Sainz, Carlos "Chilli" Sainz Jr. is one of two new additions to the constant new driver carousel that is Toro Rosso. Like all products of the Red Bull driver programme, he has a single season to prove he's good enough to displace a driver in the Red Bull team or risks facing a career in Formula E, WEC, or some other shitass series no one cares about. Is afraid of really high places with glass.
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Mar 7, 2015 19:37
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notice me Force India  Chassis: Force India VJM08 Engine: Mercedes-Benz PU106B Hybrid Drivers: Nico Hulkenberg and Sergio Perez After pulling out all the stops to narrowly defeat McLaren in the hotly contested "who can make the car that looks most like a McLaren?" competition to start the year, Force India eventually realised they actually had to test the car and managed to show up to Catalunya in time for the last three days of the final test. Actually the reason they missed the first nine days of testing was mostly they couldn't afford it, which is hardly surprising when their co-owners Vijay Mallya and the Sahara Group are both being pursued by the Indian courts for non-payment of bills relating to other business ventures. From what testing they did the new car seems fairly reliable out of the gate, and the Mercedes engine should give them the chance of fighting for points. Last year they had some promising performances in the early rounds, including a third for Perez in Bahrain, before fading in the second half of the season as McLaren outdeveloped them. At best, they'd be looking at a similar season this year, assuming they don't go bust partway through - there's no way they've got the money to keep up at the sharp end. But with Lotus having Mercedes engines this year, Ferrari apparently having improved their engines substantially, and Force India's lack of testing running, the Silverstone outfit's initial pace isn't likely to be as impressive as it was last year, either. A season of fighting with the Toro Rossos at the back (at least once the McLaren-Hondas have broken down) beckons... Ilanin fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Mar 7, 2015 |
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Mar 7, 2015 19:48
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notice me too Autodromo Nationale Monza, Monza, Italy  Circuit Length: 3.6 miles (5.79 km) Race Distance: 53 Laps Lap Record: 1:21.046 (Barrichello, Ferrari, 2004) 2014 Pole: 1:24.109 (Hamilton, Mercedes) 2014 Fastest Lap: 1:28.004 (Hamilton, Mercedes) The oldest* permanent circuit on the calendar is also the fastest. Teams will show up with ultra-skinny wings and brand new engines if they've still got any left, and hit average speeds of 155 mph and maximum speeds of 215 mph or potentially more depending on how much of a slipstream you've got - Daniel Ricciardo hit 223mph last year down the start-finish straight with a double tow. The high speeds and the lack of tire wear can actually make overtaking at Monza quite difficult, since there's not many braking points and it's difficult to follow cars closely through the Parabolica in order to overtake into the Rettifilo (though we'll see lots of people trying). In the DRS era, this actually leads to some pretty great racing as the DRS does what it's actually supposed to - get you alongside, but not get you past; we've seen some good battles at Monza in recent years and also some of the best overtakes. Theoretically, this is a power circuit and Mercedes-engined cars should be almost untouchable here; but practically sometimes it turns out that if somebody (Red Bull) has designed a car that's much more aerodynamically efficient than the rest of the field, they can make up for the deficit by running even less wing than everybody else is doing. *stupid slapfight derail, don't put this in the OP: Racing at Spa started in 1922, slightly before Monza. However, Spa was a street circuit in 1922 with no permanent facilities, so I don't think it counts as an older permanent circuit than Monza.
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Mar 7, 2015 20:40
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Edit: Ignore this, half of it isn't loading, I am a photoshop mong
Brainwrong fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Mar 7, 2015 |
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Mar 7, 2015 21:19
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Ilanin posted:Autodromo Nationale Monza, Monza, Italy Oh yeah these might be important things to shove on top of my blurb
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Mar 7, 2015 21:28
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I can't get enough of are Dan
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Rhopunzel posted:notice me Looks ok to me, but that's because I got an incredibly forgettable Swede (sorry Swedes) so I can't write much either  notice me! Marcus Ericcson Completely forgettable driver, somehow managed to secure a drive for his second season in F1 despite no one actually remembering who he drove for in 2014 or remembering him achieving anything of note, possibly comes pre-installed with lots of money. He won some GP2 races a while back. Desperately needs to sort that hair out. Slightly reminds me of that twat Joffrey from Game of Thrones.
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Mar 7, 2015 21:34
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quote:Seb Vettel (Actual Photo): E: This isn't serious, for anyone who hadn't figured it out. The length alone should be a solid giveaway. Butt Wizard fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Mar 7, 2015 |
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Mar 7, 2015 21:35
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You forgot to include Sauber's third contracted driver, Giedo Van der Garde.
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Mar 7, 2015 22:06
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I can't decide which side of the hand that finger should be on.
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Mar 7, 2015 22:07
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That's the ring finger currently...
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Mar 7, 2015 22:19
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notice me Kevin Magnussen "Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark" is an often repeated quote. Whether the reason for the stench is supposed to be Magnussen or not is up to historians to decide, but given that he's the only danish thing I've ever heard about it seems pretty likely. It is not my place to speculate if he should perhaps shower a bit more often or get his digestive system checked out, but one thing is for sure: he will drive a McLaren
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Mar 7, 2015 22:29
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uhm can we get someone impartial to write Vettel's blurb? Can't believe this obvious Vettel fan got chosen
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Mar 7, 2015 22:30
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poty posted:uhm can we get someone impartial to write Vettel's blurb? Can't believe this obvious Vettel fan got chosen be cool, this wasn't actually what i'm seriously submitting, but I do want to use the finger ASCII.
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Mar 7, 2015 22:36
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Daniil Kvyat As you can see from this picture (the first result for "Daniil Kvyat sexy" that isn't a picture of Vettel) Daniil Kvyat is an up and coming serious entry to the world of high level Formula One racing. Freshly promoted to the Red Bull A Team alongside fellow Dan and fellow probable criminal Daniel Ricciardo, his performances speak for themselves. First in GP3. First in Renault Alps 2.0. 15th over 19 races last season, which averages better than first place. What should we expect from him as a racer? Famous for his aggressive yet smooth style (allegedly), he got 4x the number of points as noted race winner Pastor Maldonado, so he must be good. In short, we are truly honoured to be at a time when not only Alonso but also Kvyat are staking a serious claim on being the best their nationality has had to offer the sport. Vettel is in the shadow of Schumacher. Massa of Senna. Button and Hamilton of Damon Hill. Raikkonen of Raikkonen from a few years ago when he wasn't poo poo. But Kvyat? He's making records on the track and in our hearts.
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Mar 7, 2015 22:44
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quote:Marcus Ericsson:
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Mar 7, 2015 22:52
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notice me Max Verstappen Not  ARE MAX. The Other Max. Son of former F1 racer Jos Verstappen, (who wasn't absolutely terrible) and a lady who used to (pretty successfully) race karts. Expect "the other Verstappen", considering how his dad was around for a while. Pretty loving young (born in '97), started racing pretty early on (at 4-5 years old according to Wikipedia), he's been pretty promising in other disciplines even before racing in Formula 3, where he finished the 2014 season 3rd, and he's already the younger driver to participate in a GP weekend (Free Practice in Japan 2014). Signed with Toro Rosso for 2015, and with his history he could be more than a moving chicane. Probably not too bad, all things considered.Hoping this isn't too short, lemme know if it is and I can fix it.
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Mar 7, 2015 23:20
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This is going to be the best Worst Thread yet. 
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Mar 7, 2015 23:25
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"YOUR NAME HERE" McLAREN HONDA Greatest team in F1 history. Too good for sponsors. Too good for testing. Too good for conscious drivers. TOO GOOD FOR WINNING. TOO GOOD FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.
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Mar 7, 2015 23:42
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I don't have to write anything this year, which is nice
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Mar 8, 2015 00:11
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i was on the mclaren section of the f1.com store and this cracked me up
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Mar 8, 2015 00:14
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Tsaedje posted:I don't have to write anything this year, which is nice Do Bernie... Nothing to do with write ups either.
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Mar 8, 2015 00:18
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NOTICE ME Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya  Circuit Length: 2.892 miles (4.655 km) Race Distance: 66 laps, 190.826 miles (307.024 km) Lap record: 1:21.670 (Raikkonen, Ferrari, 2008) 2014 Pole: 1:25.232 (Hamilton, Mercedes) 2014 Fastest Lap: 1:28.918 (Vettel, Red Bull Racing) In some ways, coming to The Circuit de Catalunya is celebrated with it being the start of the European leg of the season, and enthusiastic (racist) spectators it attracts. In others, it's hated for the typically dull racing thanks to the many high speed corners, so the best aero package will typically prevail. Overtaking is rather difficult, with exception of getting within DRS range of the car ahead on the main straight, and getting into a braking duel at Turn 1. To try to encourage more overtaking, the sweeper at Turn 14 was turned into a rather sharp chicane in 2007. All this has proved to do is ruin the flow of the circuit. Turn 3 has been the site of many an accident over the years, notably robbing Hamilton of the 2010 World Championship, and Alonso of the last 20 years of his life. Oh, and Schumacher curb-stomped everyone here in 1995 in the wet.
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Mar 8, 2015 00:31
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mclaren have officially added esso as a sponsor now so it seems instead of signing new sponsors they're just going to squeeze more money out of exxon
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Mar 8, 2015 01:31
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El Hefe posted:I honestly don't hate Vettel anymore. This is a good opinion because Lewis is a fraud. Also lol at all the tryhard gigantic essay poo poo in this thread nobody will read.
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Mar 8, 2015 01:50
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Falken posted:Oh, and Schumacher curb-stomped everyone here in 1995 in the wet.
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Mar 8, 2015 01:50
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be nice wicka posted:mclaren have officially added esso as a sponsor now so it seems instead of signing new sponsors they're just going to squeeze more money out of exxon *clutches speedpass a little tighter*
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Mar 8, 2015 01:57
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track day bro! posted:This is a good opinion because Lewis is a fraud. I thought the Malaysia one was pretty good.
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Mar 8, 2015 01:58
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nsaP posted:That's the ring finger currently... I was going to ask if you knew what an opposable thumb was, but then I saw who was posting.
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Mar 8, 2015 02:05
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track day bro! posted:Also lol at all the tryhard gigantic essay poo poo in this thread nobody will read. Who is this poo poo even for? Us idiots in the thread already know everything about the sport. Do we really think some newbies are going to wander into the thread to read 1000-word treatises on each driver, team, and track? lmao. Make an OP that says "Welcome to the F1 thread, if u don't know about anything here's some info for you: Wikipedia.org and Google.com now let's enjoy the season fellas!" That's all you need and that's the extent that anyone will actually read anyway.
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Mar 8, 2015 02:53
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POCKET CHOMP posted:Who is this poo poo even for? Us idiots in the thread already know everything about the sport. I heard you intentionally spread AIDS.
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Mar 8, 2015 02:57
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With the latest feedback from the thread, I have revised my Mercedes GP writeup. Mercedes GP Mercedes GP are a fail team. Everyone who likes them have AIDS. Ferrari FTW.
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Mar 8, 2015 02:59
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Wirth1000 posted:I heard you intentionally spread AIDS. Can't wait for Ferrari to finally own so hard again this year with Vettel at the wheel. Ferrari owns.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:03
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i'm glad red bull are fail and bad again so i can focus on the important things in life, like hating ferrari
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Mar 8, 2015 03:11
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7 days 4 hours to go but if we factor in DST it's actually 7 days 3 hours to go praise be for daylight savings
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Mar 8, 2015 03:26
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Alain Post posted:With the latest feedback from the thread, I have revised my Mercedes GP writeup. Lol. The other one is good too, however.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:32
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I read all of them.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:33
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Not enough references to Hitler. Thread disappoints.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:43
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Ayem posted:This is going to be the best Worst Thread yet.
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Mar 8, 2015 03:54
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#blessed
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Mar 8, 2015 04:30
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