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Tony quidprano
Jan 19, 2014



keevo posted:

#blessed



Notice he's with a dude.

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Dubs
Mar 6, 2007

Stroll Own Zone.
Disregard Stroll outside zone.
hes the only one smiling


everyone there must have him




like in F1









and in life

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:

1500quidporsche posted:

Notice he's with a dude.

Notice the dude resembles Nico.

gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak


notice me:

I didn't even realize I signed up to do this, so this is all I've got.

:effort:

quote:

LOTUS F1 TEAM

Lotus F1 Team is owned by the investment fund Genii Capital. The team has been a disastrous investment for Genii Capital, losing hundreds of millions of dollars for the investment fund, leading the team on a desperate chase for funds, from chasing a fictitious investment from a con man to taking on Pastor Maldonado as one of its drivers in exchange for blood money from Venezuela.

Don’t be fooled by their cars’ JPS-inspired paint scheme as the team is not a descendent of the legendary Team Lotus. Instead, the team licenses the Lotus name from the carmaker Group Lotus. Rather, the team’s lineage runs from Toleman to Benetton to Renault, and the team is still based in Benetton’s team base in Enstone, England.

The team is coming off a disappointing 2014 campaign, where they raced an unreliable car with a strange twin tusk nose design powered by an underpowered Renault power plant to an 8th place finish in the constructor championship. For 2015, the team has switched over to the Mercedes power plant and have shown much better pace in preseason testing.

nsaP
May 4, 2004

alright?
You forgot that things will turn around as soon as the quantum money comes thru.

AgentJotun
Nov 1, 2007
Body language suggests Kanye thinks Lewis is a bit of a oval office, but Jared Leto(?) wants to did pork him.

keevo
Jun 16, 2011

:burger:WAKE UP:burger:
notice me, also someone tell me if im wrong about any of this because

Australian Grand Prix
Melbourne Grand Prix Circuit



The Australian Grand Prix is the first race in the Formula 1 World Championship and is the first real showing of how terrible every car, driver, and team is. The race, which was previously held in the streets of Adelaide is currently held in a park in Melbourne. It is notable for not being designed by Hermann Tilke and for producing entertaining races because there are actual opportunities for cars to pass each other outside of pit stops and long straights with DRS followed by hairpin turns/chicanes.

Expect early retirements at the first corner of the first lap, fantastic battles throughout the race, and Maldonado probably crashing into someone or something (it’s ok though because he will win the F1 Drivers Championship at the end of the year).

Fun Fact: No Australian has ever won this race and Mark Webber has the best finish by an Australian at this race of 4th. Ricciardo, although on the podium last year, was disqualified and finished last due to not having enough fuel and because Red Bull sabotaged his race so Vettel could win the championship

Wirth1000
May 12, 2010

#essereFerrari
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIymxwyDhiw

track day bro!
Feb 17, 2005

#essereFerrari
Grimey Drawer

POCKET CHOMP posted:

Who is this poo poo even for? Us idiots in the thread already know everything about the sport.

Do we really think some newbies are going to wander into the thread to read 1000-word treatises on each driver, team, and track? lmao. Make an OP that says "Welcome to the F1 thread, if u don't know about anything here's some info for you: Wikipedia.org and Google.com now let's enjoy the season fellas!" That's all you need and that's the extent that anyone will actually read anyway.

Exactly, If you want to do driver/team bios or whatever just use this very good and true example.

Alain Post posted:

With the latest feedback from the thread, I have revised my Mercedes GP writeup.


Mercedes GP

Mercedes GP are a fail team. Everyone who likes them have AIDS. Ferrari FTW.

Diet Crack
Jan 15, 2001

Why can't the terrorists bomb that room?

poty
Jun 21, 2008

虹はどこで終わるのですか? あなたの魂の中で、または地平線で?

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:

Not enough references to Hitler. Thread disappoints.

Surely the Mercedes blurb could use a picture or a video

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


track day bro! posted:

Exactly, If you want to do driver/team bios or whatever just use this very good and true example.

If you don't want to do it, fine, don't do it.

I've used the OPs to give new fans some idea of what f1 is about. I think having an OP is important, even if people are being directed to it rather than stumbling across it. And anyway, the fan base is growing, so maybe someone would prefer to read an op than risk getting their head bitten off by a snotty shitcunt like you in response to a newbie question.

A few sentences (150-400 words) gives a good summary without being intimidating.

I think spreading the workload around is a good idea. I dont have time to write a whole OP, and you're doing a great job of showing what a thankless task it can be. So rather than bitching about something you won't read or write, why not just shut up and let people who do want to be involved get on and write their bit.

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013



keevo posted:

#blessed



As much as I like Lewis, he's no Kamui:

Butt Wizard
Nov 3, 2005

It was a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
DVDA?

Dudley
Feb 24, 2003

Tasty

Given who is in the picture, it's a distinct possibility.

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013



I used to have it with Kamui's comment on it, about spending time with Japan's best artist or something and the hottest white girl in Japan but I can't find it :negative:

Falken
Jan 26, 2004

Do you feel like a hero yet?
Is that Sasha Grey? Didn't recognise her with clothes on.

Jon Von Anchovi
Sep 5, 2014

:australia:

Serperoth posted:

I used to have it with Kamui's comment on it, about spending time with Japan's best artist or something and the hottest white girl in Japan but I can't find it :negative:

just search this thread; it comes up every few dozen pages

poty
Jun 21, 2008

虹はどこで終わるのですか? あなたの魂の中で、または地平線で?
http://en.espnf1.com/williams/motorsport/story/193647.html

ESPN: Before McLaren switched to Honda power last year, Ron Dennis said it is impossible for a customer team to win the world championship. Do you agree with that?
Pat Symmonds: Well, when he was the works Mercedes team he got beaten by Brawn, didn't he? Maybe it's just difficult for him to win. Just like it's difficult for him to find title sponsors.

BOOM

Diet Crack
Jan 15, 2001

Game, set and match. Just throw in stuff about killing off his drivers too.

Riso
Oct 11, 2008

by merry exmarx

Diet Crack posted:

Game, set and match. Just throw in stuff about killing off his drivers too.

You might have forgotten but Williams killed a bunch of drivers too.

ukle
Nov 28, 2005

simplefish posted:

MANOR
TEAM - Brainwrong
WILL STEVENS - willcrouch
???? - ukle

Given nobody has a loving clue who Manor are looking at signing this is going to be a quick one, dont be surprised if i take the 'Have I got news for you' route if they haven't announced anyone by Tuesday.

edit: Quick google search says it could be Fabio Leimer, hmm

ukle fucked around with this message at 12:58 on Mar 8, 2015

Diet Crack
Jan 15, 2001

Riso posted:

You might have forgotten but Williams killed a bunch of drivers too.

Those were golden year deaths, they don't count. Frank got his in the end.

MattD1zzl3
Oct 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 4 years!

Diet Crack posted:

Why can't the terrorists bomb that room?

If you think ayrton senna is f1 Jesus imagine a martyred lewis hamilton.

El Hefe
Oct 31, 2006

You coulda had a V8/
Instead of a tre-eight slug to yo' cranium/
I got six and I'm aimin' 'em/
Will I bust or keep you guessin'

MattD1zzl3 posted:

If you think ayrton senna is f1 Jesus imagine a martyred lewis hamilton.

Ahh yes Lewis, his epic battles for the WDC against greats such as Felipe Massa and Nico Rosberg will be remembered for years to come.

Fo3
Feb 14, 2004

RAAAAARGH!!!! GIFT CARDS ARE FUCKING RETARDED!!!!

(I need a hug)

poty posted:

http://en.espnf1.com/williams/motorsport/story/193647.html

ESPN: Before McLaren switched to Honda power last year, Ron Dennis said it is impossible for a customer team to win the world championship. Do you agree with that?
Pat Symmonds: Well, when he was the works Mercedes team he got beaten by Brawn, didn't he? Maybe it's just difficult for him to win. Just like it's difficult for him to find title sponsors.
BOOM

Ha Ha!
At least williams only killed contenders, not careers of also rans unfairly.

Ecstatic
Sep 30, 2010

El Hefe posted:

Ahh yes Lewis, his epic battles for the WDC against greats such as Felipe Massa and Nico Rosberg will be remembered for years to come.

Whoa, when you put it like that.....

Aqualung
Oct 10, 2005

Don't worry guys, Ron knows the guy who drives the crane.

El Hefe posted:

Ahh yes Lewis, his epic battles for the WDC against greats such as Felipe Massa and Nico Rosberg will be remembered for years to come.

Best there ever was. Mick Schumacher never would have won any WDCs if Lewis didn't die.

cheesetriangles
Jan 5, 2011





Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow?

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

cheesetriangles posted:

Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow?

None of them.


Alternatively; Caterham.

Low Percent Lunge
Jan 29, 2007



cheesetriangles posted:

Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow?

The medical team have a sweet sounding car.

RALF
Mar 15, 2009

Grimey Drawer

cheesetriangles posted:

Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow?

Ferrari with Sebastian Vettel.

Ironic comedy option: McLaren

Jedit
Dec 10, 2011

Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

NOTICE ME


FERNANDO ALONSO

Spanish pay driver who wrung the last gasps out of Benetton-Renault to fluke and cheat his way to two WDCs. Despite this, he remains the only multiple WDC since Emerson Fittipaldi to not be Hitler. Following his undeserved victories he went to McLaren for a season, where his true form was demonstrated as he was beaten both by his rookie teammate and a Finn best known for eating ice cream. After this Alonso's career took the traditional ex-WDC trajectory of going to Ferrari in the hope of finding further success, which unless you are Michael Schumacher is a move not unlike visiting a brothel in the hope of finding nuns. Alonso did manage to emulate Schumacher's post-Ferrari career in some respects by failing to win anything before hitting his head against a solid object and suffering brain trauma. However, unlike Schumacher and WDC Of Our Hearts Jules Bianchi, Alonso was not wise enough to pretend to be in a coma afterward.

Fernando Alonso was last seen in a Catalonian hospital asking doctors who their favourite Spice Girl was. He was wearing a white hospital gown, had a short black beard and was carrying his favourite teddy, Dasha. Fernando Alonso is 13.

Jedit fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Mar 9, 2015

Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

Jedit posted:

FERNANDO ALONSO

Spanish pay driver who wrung the last gasps out of Benetton-Renault to fluke and cheat his way to two WDCs. Despite this, he remains the only multiple WDC since Emerson Fittipaldi to not be Hitler. Following his undeserved victories he went to McLaren for a season, where his true form was demonstrated as he was beaten both by his rookie teammate and a Finn best known for eating ice cream. After this Alonso's career took the traditional ex-WDC trajectory of going to Ferrari in the hope of finding further success, which unless you are Michael Schumacher is a move not unlike visiting a brothel in the hope of finding nuns. Alonso did manage to emulate Schumacher's post-Ferrari career in some respects by failing to win anything before hitting his head against a solid object and suffering brain trauma. However, unlike Schumacher and WDC Of Our Hearts Jules Bianchi, Alonso was not wise enough to pretend to be in a coma afterward.

Fernando Alonso was last seen in a Catalonian hospital asking doctors who their favourite Spice Girl was. He was wearing a white hospital gown, had a short black beard and was carrying his favourite teddy, Dasha. Fernando Alonso is 13.


This is too good for the worst thread.

Brainwrong
Mar 20, 2004

RIP Bobby K
Poland's Rose. Like a cabbage in the wind.
NOTICE THIS

Bad Manors: The history of a team no one cares about.


Team History


In 2004 John Booth (pictured left), a wealthy British aristocrat started “Manor Racing Team Limited.” The team was named after and run out of Booth's family estate, Drayton Manor.

Between 2004 and 2010 the team competed in the F3 series scoring 4 points out of 318 races. This appalling record made Booth realise there was a better, more effective way of pissing his money down the drain - Formula F1.

2010-2013 The Wilderness Years

In 2010 Booth partnered with the successful pickle magnate Sir Richard Branston to create the Virgin Formula F1 Team (ironically named considering how many people it would gently caress and get hosed by.)

The team's first season was a disaster. Irish F1 veteran Timothy O'Glock and Mexican Luke Di Grassi somehow managed to finish every race last.

Booth and Branston were quick to blame failed F1 designer and Austrian racing driver murderer Nick Wirth. They made it clear that Wirth's idea to design the car “using only my iPad” was, in the words of Booth “a gently caress up worse than that time he killed that bloke.”

In 2011 Branston left the team after trying to kill Kate Winslet in a fire on his private, pickle-funded island. Booth sold 89% of his team to Igor Marussia.


In 2012 Booth got drunk and let his cleaner Maria de Villota have a go in one of his F1 cars.The result was a disaster, she crashed into a truck and was so badly injured she had to give up cleaning for a life on the seas as a pirate. Then she died.


2014 The death of a team. And a French man.

2014 started off like any other year for Manor Marussia – slowly and in last place. Just when John Booth thought things couldn't get any worse, they did get any worse. Much any worse.

During the Chinese Grand Prix at Japan's Suzuka circuit Italian named Frenchman Jules Bianchi lost control of his car and collided with a tractor being used to remove homosexual thug Adrian Sutil from the circuit. Bianchi was killed indefinitely.

When Bianchi died, so did the team. Their title sponsor left, deciding to not sign with McLaren for 2015. The team factory shut its doors and in early 2015 the assets were sold on ebay.

2015 Rebirth

Like that time Jesus woke up from being dead in a cave, so Manor was re-born from being dead, but not in a cave.

An unknown man called Stephen Fitzpatrick made the appalling decision to spunk all of his personal fortune on the Manor team's assets. In February 2015 it was announced Manor would once again be ignored completely by fans and the media during every race of the season. Or until they went bust again.

The 2015 Car



Chassis: ebay01_ovo
Engine: 2004 Ferrari

NtotheTC
Dec 31, 2007


Is it time for bold predictions yet?

Bold Prediction: Jenson to beat Alonso on points in 2015.

Brainwrong
Mar 20, 2004

RIP Bobby K
Poland's Rose. Like a cabbage in the wind.

NtotheTC posted:

Is it time for bold predictions yet?

Bold Prediction: Jenson to beat Alonso on points in 2015.

That's like saying Lewis Hamilton will score more points than Ayrton Senna this year.

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


sky bet still has mclaren as 2nd favorites for the WCC

wicka
Jun 28, 2007


god, i'm going to be so awful if mclaren wins a race

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Carth Dookie
Jan 28, 2013

be nice wicka posted:

god, i'm going to be so awful if mclaren wins a race

How will we know the difference?

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