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darth cookie posted:How will we know the difference? more awful
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Mar 8, 2015 15:22
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Isn't that in Revelations or some poo poo? A sign of the apocolypse?
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Mar 8, 2015 15:23
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No just standard fare for the worst thread ever.
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Mar 8, 2015 15:33
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cheesetriangles posted:Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow? If you think the ability to suck your own dick is the peak of human achievement: Ferrari If you're an annoying hipster with an inflated sense of self-likeability who leaves a wake of people thinking "What a nob", and you have a taste for poo poo drinks: Red Bull If you look at hipsters with an inflated sense of self-likeability and think "I want to be their friend": Torro Rosso If you're either a glory-seeker or a middle-aged man going through a midlife crisis: Mercedes If you like foreign art-house movies even though deep down you know they a bit poo poo: Sauber If you're a virgin who lives in his mum's basement and are destined for a life without achievement: Manor If you're a non-caucasian and you want an end the anglo-saxon hegemony: Force-India (even those it's a team of Anglo-Saxons, based next door to Silverstone) If you're always pretending to be somebody you're not: Lotus. If you have a soul: Williams
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Mar 8, 2015 15:37
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be nice wicka posted:god, i'm going to be so awful if mclaren wins a race McLaren will win more races than Kimi this year.
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Mar 8, 2015 15:46
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cheesetriangles posted:Decided to start following F1 this year since I already pay too much money for a cable package with NBC Sports. What is a good team to follow? I asked this same question three years ago. The process of getting into this sport is unique. It's not like plucking a rare orchid from weeds but rather its like stomping the whole loving garden into the earth until only one remains......... And as the dust settles you glimpse a lone Australian dandelion untouched by your hatred. Before your eyes that dandelion blooms into a rose named Mark Webber. You care for him for years, blind to the evil spreading just below the roots. Then you blink and the venus fly trap snaps its talons around him. And like that, *poof*, Webbah's gone. What remains is a darkness.....well, I guess sort of a half-darkness.... In the distance you see an orchard of gnarled index fingers pointing at the heavens. You seek shelter around a burning Marussia. A tumbleweed bounces into your dick. Welcome to Formula 1.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:10
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*Notice Me* Romain Grosjean – Starting his Formula One career in 2009 for Renault he happily left at the end of the year but sadly returned in 2012. The driver with a face reminiscent of a sun dried piss mat took his first podium at the 2012 Bahrain Grand Prix for Evil Lotus whom he remains with to this day. He then immediately concentrated his racing career on trying to kill or maim the rest of the field becoming the first driver since 1994 to be given a race ban for causing a multi-car pile-up at the 2012 Belgium Grand Prix. These days Romain spends his time trying to coax a piece of poo poo car to the finish line with varying degrees of failure. Though the man with the ‘about to burst into tears at any given moment’ face assures us that his car for 2015 is much better and may put him in an F1 driver murdering position once more. Following 2014 rules changes that allowed the drivers to pick their own car number, Romian settled for number 8. Reflecting on this Romain said "Simply I like this number, plus it has some signification to me. My wife was born on 8 December, we started dating in 2008 and besides, to my eyes my son is the 8th wonder of the world. That's why I picked up number 8.", demonstrating he talks like he drives; complete poo poo. Now teamed with the equally destructive Pastor Maldonado since 2014, once again Lotus promises its viewers a fun filled year of hilarity and mayhem.  
Myrddin_Emrys fucked around with this message at 16:21 on Mar 8, 2015 |
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Mar 8, 2015 16:10
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Brainwrong posted:Bad Manors:
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Mar 8, 2015 16:17
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Brainwrong posted:McLaren will win more races than Kimi this year. Not saying much.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:17
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As a pretty new F1 fan I greatly appreciate the effort going into these bios. gently caress that guy who was all like "just make these leet speak bios for old jaded assholes" Thanks.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:19
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I'm not a huge betting guy because I am from a place that didn't allow it, but I just found out that Taiwan's official Sports Lottery does betting on F1 and I found the odds for the constructor's championship interesting. Mercedes 1:1.03 (not even bettable) Ferrari/Williams 1:10 McLaren/Red Bull 1:25 "Any Other" 1:200 Lotus 1:250 What did Lotus in particular do to deserve even worse odds than Sauber/Toro Rosso/Whatever other shitbox backmarker teams show up?
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Mar 8, 2015 16:30
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POCKET CHOMP posted:I'm not a huge betting guy because I am from a place that didn't allow it, but I just found out that Taiwan's official Sports Lottery does betting on F1 and I found the odds for the constructor's championship interesting. Run a complete poo poo car last year im guessing.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:35
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Bookies still have a very dubious understanding of F1.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:39
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Probably has something to do with Pastor never being able to finish a race.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:42
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This thread is becoming good people, stop it. I even laughed, that's not good for my condition. Are Williams going to be any good this year? Will Button get on the podium in wet/dry/moist conditions? Is Alonso effectively dead? Wish I could go to Malaysia this season.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:50
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Pablo Bluth posted:If you're an annoying hipster with an inflated sense of self-likeability who leaves a wake of people thinking "What a nob", and you have a taste for poo poo drinks: Red Bull Nah, Torro Rosso is the hipster one. Their drivers are more "indie" and if they get promoted to Red Bull you can say you followed them before it was cool. Honestly for someone new to F1 I'd say it's best to get the lay of the land for the first year or two. You don't really need to follow one team because they all show up to each race weekend (when they're not out of money). Just by watching the races you'll be following all of them. And before you know it you'll be making GBS threads up this thread arguing over who's the biggest fraud with the rest of us.
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Mar 8, 2015 16:52
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Notice Me Nico Hulkenberg Born 19 August 1987 German / Nazi Well what can I say about Nico that you haven't heard already in the press? Oh wait wrong Nico, not the Monoquesque fucktard, this one is both a half decent driver and not a total oval office meaning we never heard about him. He won GP2 in his rookie year which only Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg have matched so he isn't poo poo. He joined Williams in 2010, then jumped ship to Force India for 2011 as a test driver. Then 2012 he raced for Sauber before rejoining the Force last year. He has never won a F1 race mainly due to the poo poo machinery he seems to sit in. I should also mention he is not Adrian Sutil which my brain gets confused. Both German and both midfield average. Nico isn't as punchy and neither turn green when angry. The worlds most boring twitter https://twitter.com/nicohulkenberg
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Mar 8, 2015 16:55
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Second best fraud of 2014 Nico Rosberg has made a deal with Satan himself. https://twitter.com/nico_rosberg/status/574516273494814721 Also notice that Bernie literally has a pickelhaube on his desk. He literally does.
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Mar 8, 2015 17:00
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 Lewis
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Mar 8, 2015 17:11
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Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Second best fraud of 2014 Nico Rosberg has made a deal with Satan himself. That's a lovely messy office, expected better from Bernie.
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Mar 8, 2015 17:16
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Bold prediction: The McLaren will be so bad Alonso will pull a Mansell and retire from F1 midseason.
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Mar 8, 2015 17:33
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Rhopunzel posted:Bold prediction: The McLaren will be so bad Alonso will pull a Mansell and retire from F1 midseason. Only if Kimi does too and they join NASCAR together.
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Mar 8, 2015 17:57
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If this illustration is right then Honda didn't copy anything from Mercedes. http://www.formula1.com/news/features/2015/3/16858.html blue is the compressor and red is the turbine of the turbo, green is the MGU. Idiots.
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Mar 8, 2015 18:04
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australia prediction: one mclaren on the podium, the other on fire
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Mar 8, 2015 18:04
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Rhopunzel posted:Bold prediction: The McLaren will be so bad Alonso will pull a Mansell and retire from F1 midseason. What if Alonso is faking this injury so he doesn't have to drive the McLaren at all?
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Mar 8, 2015 18:06
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be nice wicka posted:australia prediction: one mclaren on the podium, the other on fire Ron will sacrifice a driver a race until he gets the title sponsor he deserves. The Croc fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Mar 8, 2015 |
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Mar 8, 2015 18:23
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Apparently Adrian "The Gay Heidfeld" Sutil has now also sued Sauber because they dropped him for this season. I guess four drivers will race for them this year.
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Mar 8, 2015 18:23
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El Hefe posted:If this illustration is right then Honda didn't copy anything from Mercedes. If only Mercades ran a split turbo last year, how did their customer teams make it work? Don't customer engines have the be identical spec? because they would have had to supply them different manifolds and turbo unit. I am surprised no one got the lawyers involved.
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Mar 8, 2015 18:36
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Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Second best fraud of 2014 Nico Rosberg has made a deal with Satan himself. Is that a German Kaiser helmet on his desk?
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Mar 8, 2015 18:39
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Fumble posted:If only Mercades ran a split turbo last year, how did their customer teams make it work? they all got the split turbo, only mercedes had the luxury of building their car around it for the entire previous year. this is what ron meant when he said you can't win as a customer team. pat symonds mentioning brawn is just banter, he knows full well that was an incredibly unlikely scenario and an utterly meaningless comparison. sure, you can win a title as a customer team, but it's exceedingly difficult.
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Mar 8, 2015 18:41
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Brainwrong posted:Is that a German Kaiser helmet on his desk? Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:Also notice that Bernie literally has a pickelhaube on his desk. He literally does. I had to look up what pickelhaube was, but that's what it is.
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Mar 8, 2015 18:52
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To new people: the only way to enjoy this sport is to hail satan and hope for its destruction.
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Mar 8, 2015 19:02
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There is no way Bernie actually has a desk. It even has a laptop on it.
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Mar 8, 2015 19:11
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Bernie is literally saying "give me money".
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Mar 8, 2015 19:16
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Hail Bernie
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Mar 8, 2015 19:19
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Kilmers Elbow posted:Bernie is literally saying "give me money". Bernie knows how to say "give me money" in 57 languages
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Mar 8, 2015 20:24
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I had a dream a few weeks ago I was in a car with Sepp Blatter only he had Bernies body and face and I think it will take a while for my metal scarring to heal. I was yelling about Qatar and he kept saying back in the day players had to deal with sniper fire so a little heat is nothing.
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Mar 8, 2015 20:30
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NtotheTC posted:There is no way Bernie actually has a desk. It even has a laptop on it. Yep, I agree. There's no way that he has a desk. Desks are for poor people who have to work for a living. Also it's very interesting to see Nico being so open about his need to cheat this year and befriend Satan in order to try to get an advantage. #notblessed
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Mar 8, 2015 20:39
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That's actually Rosberg's desk but Bernie already negotiated for it to be given to him for free. Makes the nazi helmet more understandable.
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Mar 8, 2015 21:54
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Best thing I've seen all weekend.
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