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flerp
Feb 25, 2014
in :toxx:

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SadisTech
Jun 26, 2013

Clem.
In

Capntastic
Jan 13, 2005

A dog begins eating a dusty old coil of rope but there's a nail in it.

Capntastic posted:

Pre-emptive In for next week.

take the moon
Feb 13, 2011

by sebmojo
im in, do you have to bold it? ill try to do better

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003
In

Noah
May 31, 2011

Come at me baby bitch
In.

Maugrim
Feb 16, 2011

I eat your face

Ancient Blades posted:

im in, do you have to bold it? ill try to do better

You don't have to bold it as long as it's clear.

Some crits should be going up soon that may help you judge where you went wrong first time. G'luck.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Yeah bitches slap my cracker rear end down switchblade sqitchblaed

contagonist
Jul 21, 2014

You shouldn't be doing anything with fluorine.
IN.

Ol Sweepy
Nov 28, 2005

Safety First
I'm IN.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
Pretty sure the picture in the prompt post is Anthony Burch.

Famous for:

A) writing Borderlands 2
B) being insufferable on Twitter
C) pressuring his wife into an open relationship then getting upset when tons of other guys slept with her but no other girls slept with him.

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

I'm bokeh, you're bokeh

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Pretty sure the picture in the prompt post is Anthony Burch.

Famous for:

A) writing Borderlands 2
B) being insufferable on Twitter
C) pressuring his wife into an open relationship then getting upset when tons of other guys slept with her but no other girls slept with him.

talk about a guy who could have used a Grizzled Patriarch

Armack
Jan 27, 2006
Great prompt. I'm in.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

sebmojo posted:

i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first

Speaking.

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003

sebmojo posted:

i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first

Yes please, love some thoughts on a children's book from a fellow father.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

sebmojo posted:

i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first

.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward

sebmojo posted:

i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first

*points at post and makes grunting noises*

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






DICKS

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk










https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a7l7IHXZwk

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT







sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk










would

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
joke's on him because I have the most sheep






every Kiwi knows that's how you win the long game

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

joke's on him because I have the most sheep






every Kiwi knows that's how you win the long game

and the """""""short"""""""""* game












*its a peins joke

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010
that entire game was basically me laying down sick burns on crabrock while he built roads and towns and poo poo like some kinda nerd :radcat:

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007




SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

joke's on him because I have the most sheep






every Kiwi knows that's how you win the long game


Sitting Here posted:

and the """""""short"""""""""* game












*its a peins joke


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

that entire game was basically me laying down sick burns on crabrock while he built roads and towns and poo poo like some kinda nerd :radcat:

:a2m:

^^^ this thread right now

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
In because if I don't spend my time writing I start thinking about things and thinking about things is an awful, awful idea.

EDIT: Also, I'm going to have to apologize in advance for this story, because I've been reading a lot of political stuff lately and it's taken my mind into a bad place.

Screaming Idiot fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Mar 11, 2015

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Screaming Idiot posted:

In because if I don't spend my time writing I start thinking about things and thinking about things is an awful, awful idea.

EDIT: Also, I'm going to have to apologize in advance for this story, because I've been reading a lot of political stuff lately and it's taken my mind into a bad place.

stop apologising. slap down your piece and walk away in slow motion while it explodes behind you.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

I'm really sorry that my story is going to loving blow everyone's minds so hard your brain's dicks will be jizzing out your nose. That's right, I'm gonna make you sneeze.

SadisTech
Jun 26, 2013

Clem.

Djeser posted:

I'm really sorry that my story is going to loving blow

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

I

AM

MAGNIFICENT






sorry that everybody else is wasting their time entering this week, when my story will be so amazing that it brings happy tears to the judges eyes.

in

i guess i should read dat prompt.

Profane Accessory
Feb 23, 2012

In.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013


it's crow time again

SadisTech posted:

Djeser posted:

I'm really sorry

Stop apologizing geez.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

sebmojo posted:

stop apologising. slap down your piece and walk away in slow motion while it explodes behind you.

My story already has a scene where Joe Biden lactates vile black sludge from his pierced nipples, I think the apology is warranted.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



Screaming Idiot posted:

My story already has a scene where Joe Biden lactates vile black sludge from his pierced nipples, I think the apology is warranted.

show don't tell

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

I'm bokeh, you're bokeh
TWISTASAURUS BRAWL

The Penthouse Suite
750 words

“One more step, darling,” said Rodger.

Valerie took her husband’s hand and scurried down into the furnished apartment, where the landlord, Elliott, was waiting, a smile behind his twitching whiskers.

“Well, here we are,” said Elliott. “Bit of a jaunt to get here, but I’m so pleased to finally show you the finest we have to offer in PentMouse luxury.” He spread his front paws out to his sides. “What are your first impressions? Don’t hold anything back. Be as candid as you can.”

Rodger and Valerie looked around the small circular room. They were surrounded on all sides by frosted glass, separated into six-inch-high panes. Instead of a ceiling, there was only open air, split into quarters by four thick bronze chain-lengths that met in the center and ran straight up to a higher ceiling, made of crown molding. In the room, they could see a couple mats of torn fabric, a few empty spools of thread turned on their sides, and a brown glass bottle that was a millimeter taller than all three of them. Soft piano music echoed through the room’s atmosphere, and bright incandescent lights blazed down from above their heads.

“It’s…cozy,” said Rodger, his eyes darting from wall to wall.

“Quite,” said Valerie, brushing her left paw against her whiskers.

“Oh, lovely,” said Elliott, clapping his front paws together. “But it’s certainly no hole in the wall, am I right? Here, let me get you something to drink,” he said, grabbing a toothpaste-tube cap from under one of the mats of fabric and setting it on the floor.

“Oh, no thank you, we’re fine,” said Rodger.

“No, I insist,” said Elliott as he wrapped his front paws around the large brown bottle and lugged it across the room. “Consider it a—hrnggh—consider it an early housewarming gift.”

Valerie raised her eyebrows as Elliott unscrewed the bottletop and poured the liquid into the cap, using his whole body to keep it at the right angle. Some of the liquid sloshed onto the glass floor, and the room immediately filled with the suffocating smell of vanilla. Elliott set the bottle down and stepped back, breathing heavily. “Phew. No reward without effort, right? Didn’t I say that before, when I was convincing you two to climb down? Go on, take a sip. It’s imported from Madagascar.” He picked up the cap and extended it towards Rodger and Valerie.

“Madagascar by way of the hotel kitchens?” said Rodger.

Elliott laughed, bent over and slapped his hind leg with his front paw. “Oh, thank whoever’s up there for delivering me tenants with a sense of humor!” he said. “I can tell we’re going to get along just—“

“These lights are really bright,” said Valerie.

“Oh, aren’t they?” said Elliott, grinning.

“No, no, they’re hurting my eyes,” said Valerie. She rubbed her eyes with her left paw. “I think—“

She staggered to the side, reaching out for something to brace herself with. Rodger rushed over to help her.

“Don’t worry,” said Elliott, wringing his paws in front of his chest. “Don’t worry about it. Takes a bit of getting used to, that’s all. By the third month or so, you won’t even notice—“

“I think we’ll be going,” snapped Rodger as he held his wife up, whose eyes were starting to roll back in her head. “Just close your eyes and keep holding onto my tail, dear.” They both made their way back towards the chain holding the room up.

“Wait!” Elliott shouted after them as they climbed. “I have plenty left to show you! Storage space! All eight balconies! You can’t beat the—“

Elliott stood still for a second, listening to the bare chain jingle in the still air. “—view,” he finished.

Elliott picked up the half-empty toothpaste tube cap and drank from it, then made a face as he spat the liquid back into the cup. He strode over to the other side of the room and lifted one of the mats up, revealing a hole in the floor. He poured the liquid out through the hole, mumbling to himself.

Six stories below the ceiling of the atrium, during the middle of Clair de Lune, the hotel pianist felt a spot of wetness on his forehead. He looked up, half-expecting to see rainclouds, but only saw the hotel’s antique chandeliers, swinging lightly from side to side.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006
Tyrannotwist Brawl

The House on Grove Street
750 words

Archived.

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at 04:17 on Jan 8, 2016

CancerCakes
Jan 10, 2006

Maugrim posted:

Benny the Cake vs. CancerSnakes BRAWL

Oh no! The mad inventor has created something he can't control!

Additional rules:
There must be a resolution that isn't "everyone dies".
There must be a massive explosion. Scoring will be partially dependent on how well this is described.

yeh ok

sebmojo posted:

i'll probably do some judgeburps but not gonna lie could be a light week for crittin so speak up if you want me to look at yours first
If you are gonna give me some poo poo flashrules you could at least crit my spanish soap opera/man in the iron mask/scarface/mouse tale abortion

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flerp
Feb 25, 2014
PSA for Sebmojo Entenzahn and Screaming Idiot : I hosed up with the google docs and forgot to make it so that you can see the comments. You should (hopefully) be able to see them now, so you might want to check it again.

Here's the link if you don't want to go looking for it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ukbIq5yP_9u44Aurs_A3BgkfDzATGMbErerN6DFIQ1M/edit?usp=sharing

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