GTA Online: Who Are You? Who Who? Who Who? I REAALLY WAAANNNA KNOOOOWWWW

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > GTA Online: Who Are You? Who Who? Who Who? I REAALLY WAAANNNA KNOOOOWWWW

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Fenom: Mar 23, 2007

Craptacular posted:

I'm your man. LLJK_Craptacular if I'm not your PSN friend already (I can never remember which forum name corresponds with with PSN name).

I guess we need to make two pairs and do the initial heist separately?

Sounds good, my PSN is SA_Fenom and yeah we'll split into 2 teams for the Fleeca jobs. I'll add you later tonight or tomorrow.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 03:53

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:05

Pretzel Rod Serling: Aug 6, 2008

I finished the prison break heist with pubbies! We played through all the setups together too, no mics and everything went pretty smoothly. At the finale the leader took a 0% cut and gave me a full 35%.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 04:40

CV 64 Fan: Oct 13, 2012; It's pretty dope.

I am level 1 and nobody will do poo poo with me

# ? Mar 28, 2015 04:59

Nintendo Kid: Aug 4, 2011; by Smythe

James Woods Fan posted:

I am level 1 and nobody will do poo poo with me

Here's some quick ways to level up:
1) Get a hold of some cash from missions so you can buy the DLC weapons. Most of them are singificantly better than what you'll get from normal unlocks the next like 30 levels, especially the bullpup rifle.
2) See if the "Trevor's Torture Room" deathmatch is available on your platform, if it is then bookmark it so you can run it repeatedly. It's dead simple to win when you switch it to owned weapons because it's a tiny room and you should quickly gain RP and cash. Once you can buy an assault shotgun, you'll pretty much have guarenteed wins every round.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 05:42

Pretzel Rod Serling: Aug 6, 2008

James Woods Fan posted:

I am level 1 and nobody will do poo poo with me

What platform are you on? I love grinding contact missions if you're on PS4

# ? Mar 28, 2015 06:02

CV 64 Fan: Oct 13, 2012; It's pretty dope.

Pretzel Rod Stewart posted:

What platform are you on? I love grinding contact missions if you're on PS4

I am on PS4. PSN is JamesWoodsKiting.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 06:09

an AOL chatroom: Oct 3, 2002

Bairnes, Geeves, CashCamden and I failed the last final heist every way imaginable tonight. It was getting absurd. When we were in the final last few seconds, I honestly would have thrown my ps4 out the window if anything happened.

Videos incoming.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 06:58

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

bisticles posted:

Bairnes, Geeves, CashCamden and I failed the last final heist every way imaginable tonight. It was getting absurd. When we were in the final last few seconds, I honestly would have thrown my ps4 out the window if anything happened.

I wish there was a count of how many times we attempted it. 25, 30?

# ? Mar 28, 2015 07:00

Pretzel Rod Serling: Aug 6, 2008

The loving getaway is sooo awful in the last heist. Pootbarn can back me up.

James Woods Fan posted:

I am on PS4. PSN is JamesWoodsKiting.

Adding you. I'm "niceboyonline" and I'll be on tomorrow. If anyone else wants to grind levels and/or money let's do it; contact missions kick rear end and you don't need four players and sometimes you can have more and they're doable even with pubbies.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 07:20

Wee Bairns: Feb 10, 2004; Jack Tripper's wingman.

Kelly posted:

I wish there was a count of how many times we attempted it. 25, 30?

Easily. It was an amusing disaster from start to finish.

Besides, we got to do this...(super lovely rush job, but you get the idea...)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LgTcRKpQ-k

# ? Mar 28, 2015 07:25

geeves: Sep 16, 2004

I don't think I've had so much fun failing a heist

# ? Mar 28, 2015 07:29

titties: May 10, 2012; They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

bisticles posted:

Bairnes, Geeves, CashCamden and I failed the last final heist every way imaginable tonight. It was getting absurd. When we were in the final last few seconds, I honestly would have thrown my ps4 out the window if anything happened.

Videos incoming.

Kelly posted:

I wish there was a count of how many times we attempted it. 25, 30?

This happened to me the other week. I was stuck on it for 3 nights, tried it with different people, tried every strategy we could think of, and must have made at least 10 attempts a night or more. I had beaten it before, and it was becoming infuriating to not be able to finish it, especially after getting to the mountain jump like 1/3 of the time and still managing to fail for dumb stuff. A couple of things that helped us:

Don't forget that the Lectro has a small KERS boost. It can help you shoot gaps or make some distance if a cop is bumper-tapping you.

If the same person / people are getting killed by cops or if they're lower-level and don't have full health and armor upgrades, let them ride out front and give them a small lead. The people out front will encounter far fewer cops. If everyone rides more-or-less equally well, put the cash carriers out front.

Taking a car or 2 can make it easier for you to get to the mountain. HOWEVER, you have to make the jump on foot and it is very easy to fail. We had a much better rate of success at getting to the final jump using a car, but were never actually able to complete the mission that way.

You can put on new body armor while driving.

If you're having a hard time avoiding the cop cars when they maneuver against you, you can try slowing down a little when you get near them. They'll slow down too and it might give you a better chance of slipping past without getting hit.

Use the minimap during the bridge sections, we failed quite a few times because of cops on the bridges.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 07:37

Scyron: Aug 27, 2005; I am sure a hacker knows all about rewarding and accomplished behavior. I mean, raping a chick with some mickeys is the same is getting laid right? Same result amirite guys? Nothing like work and not having to do it and get that sweet sweet payoff.

James Woods Fan posted:

I am on PS4. PSN is JamesWoodsKiting.

Added you, to try for heists, I feel like I have been around when you have, otherwise if you want I will roll my newer character, if that helps out? I got a second account @ 40+ that I could roll too. "TheReviewFactory"

edit; it is 2am, my dailies reset at 1:00am on the dot, wtf is going on? I kind of want to try for the one month challenge, given I doubt I will heist consistently until 2 weeks from now.

Oh, also so I work like 2 days in two weeks, from like aprils garbarge to the 11th, so if anyone wants to poopsock heists and poo poo, I can do that. While I may lack good :420:

I can still be funny with some drinks. Not mic shy. Receptive to not making the same mistake twice, and I like recording things.

Scyron fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Mar 28, 2015

# ? Mar 28, 2015 08:20

Cute as heck: Nov 6, 2011; Cutie Pie Swag~

Oh my god did you seriously run to steal the titan

And then land it without putting the gear down

you loving pubby

you subhuman filth

# ? Mar 28, 2015 09:45

an AOL chatroom: Oct 3, 2002

titties posted:

This happened to me the other week. I was stuck on it for 3 nights, tried it with different people, tried every strategy we could think of, and must have made at least 10 attempts a night or more. I had beaten it before, and it was becoming infuriating to not be able to finish it, especially after getting to the mountain jump like 1/3 of the time and still managing to fail for dumb stuff. A couple of things that helped us:

Don't forget that the Lectro has a small KERS boost. It can help you shoot gaps or make some distance if a cop is bumper-tapping you.

If the same person / people are getting killed by cops or if they're lower-level and don't have full health and armor upgrades, let them ride out front and give them a small lead. The people out front will encounter far fewer cops. If everyone rides more-or-less equally well, put the cash carriers out front.

Taking a car or 2 can make it easier for you to get to the mountain. HOWEVER, you have to make the jump on foot and it is very easy to fail. We had a much better rate of success at getting to the final jump using a car, but were never actually able to complete the mission that way.

You can put on new body armor while driving.

If you're having a hard time avoiding the cop cars when they maneuver against you, you can try slowing down a little when you get near them. They'll slow down too and it might give you a better chance of slipping past without getting hit.

Use the minimap during the bridge sections, we failed quite a few times because of cops on the bridges.

We tried everything.

The final tactic we settled on went a little something like this:
1) Rob the bank, making sure to intimidate everyone with your chandelier-swinging skills
2) Exit the bank, fire rockets at everything that isn't a goon
3) Make your way down the alley, but instead of following the full path, cut through the condos on the right (you still have to get near the yellow dots, but you can be safely under the patios while you do that. This gives you additional cover, and gives you a nice little bunker to meet at before the final push.
4) Grab the bikes, drive far enough until you find at least two nice sports cars
5) Drive them as fast and as far as you can.
6) Once you get out in the desert, there are a couple of roadblocks where it's just like one cop and riot van. Drive into that cop and steal their riot van, both people up front (if you're in the back, you'll open the door to shoot, leaving yourself open to gunfire)
7) Keep following the path until you get to the bridge where the "Convoy" heist mission takes place. Don't go over the bridge, just make a left and follow the river up to the dinghy. Don't bother with the jump, just drive directly to the dinghy.
8) Park next to your getaway boat, shooting everything from the safety of your armored fortress. Get in the boat and don't get it stuck on the shoreline like I did.
9) Profit

# ? Mar 28, 2015 13:11

Quicksand_Jesus: Dec 19, 2005; Lasagna Miracle

bisticles posted:

We tried everything.

The final tactic we settled on went a little something like this:
1) Rob the bank, making sure to intimidate everyone with your chandelier-swinging skills
2) Exit the bank, fire rockets at everything that isn't a goon
3) Make your way down the alley, but instead of following the full path, cut through the condos on the right (you still have to get near the yellow dots, but you can be safely under the patios while you do that. This gives you additional cover, and gives you a nice little bunker to meet at before the final push.
4) Grab the bikes, drive far enough until you find at least two nice sports cars
5) Drive them as fast and as far as you can.
6) Once you get out in the desert, there are a couple of roadblocks where it's just like one cop and riot van. Drive into that cop and steal their riot van, both people up front (if you're in the back, you'll open the door to shoot, leaving yourself open to gunfire)
7) Keep following the path until you get to the bridge where the "Convoy" heist mission takes place. Don't go over the bridge, just make a left and follow the river up to the dinghy. Don't bother with the jump, just drive directly to the dinghy.
8) Park next to your getaway boat, shooting everything from the safety of your armored fortress. Get in the boat and don't get it stuck on the shoreline like I did.
9) Profit

Jesus.. If you had to do that, you guys DID have a lovely go of things. But at least you made Wee feel better about getting stuck in the boat.

One thing I'd point out is I've had others ride on the back of my bike when they were struggling, and it makes the police MUCH worse. If we all rode solo, cops were average at best and could be avoided. Once we doubled up? We ended up with road blocks and them rear ending us. It basically became near impossible.

The best thing you can do is make whoever the best rider the demo and let them carry all the cash. At least that way you aren't losing cash every time someone dies (unless it's the cash carrier of course).

# ? Mar 28, 2015 13:56

Wee Bairns: Feb 10, 2004; Jack Tripper's wingman.

It was more a matter of lovely luck than anything. Random circumstances while trying stuff, like getting hit by a surprise train, or literally having cops spawn directly in front of us while we were on the foot escape parts.
Several times the cops were spawning in a side alley as we made our way down the alley after immediately leaving no the bank. You'd shoot one and another would materialize in it's place and shoot our beautiful faces.
We really had the bank/foot escape down to a science though, the path behind the buildings made everything much much easier.
The motorcycle escape portion is a bastard if you stay on a bike though. You're just too drat fragile and exposed on them. Hopping into almost any other vehicle is preferable.
It was still a goddamn blast, even if it took forever.
My favorite moment was leaving the bank using the jazz hands emote into a hail of police gunfire.

And I'm very glad that I'm not the only one who accidentally beached the dingy. bisticlz found you can't nudge it off with a baseball bat. Two swings= boom.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 15:41

geeves: Sep 16, 2004

Quicksand_Jesus posted:

Jesus.. If you had to do that, you guys DID have a lovely go of things. But at least you made Wee feel better about getting stuck in the boat.

Bairns is completely absolved after what Bisticles did.

It all started with a great idea. Watch this video where the chopper spawns on top of Vinewood Police station and it's an easy escape. Well, it didn't spawn. This video is from Monday so it was removed in the patch released this week or it only spawns if all 4 players are in the vicinity. Most likely the former but now I kind of like the idea of the latter.

So we scouted on the way to the bank. We all go on the roof where the chopper should have been. Then all went the easiest way to the train tracks and tunnel. the idea was I would get the chopper while everyone else made for the traintracks, they could hide out in the tunnel safely until I was in the air and meet me on the far side of the tunnel. We would then go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. Then we all decided to fail epically. I think the big thing was when we let ourselves get scattered it immediately got more difficult because there were so many ideas being talked about in the chat.

Armed with knowing we didn't have to hit the checkpoints we set about trying the train tracks again all the way there then going off road at the same point toward the end of this video. This should have almost worked.

I slammed head on into the train as soon as we reached the tracks.
We nearly made it but I died when a police granger came over the blind hill and hit me headon.
We got slightly off course when getting on to the train tracks that resulted in a loss of a good 45 seconds. We then made it to where we wanted to be, but went through the tunnel and had to double back. But we didn't stay together, I went off road, thought everyone was behind me and made it to the boat with about 30 seconds to go.
We then decided to grab super cars - but again did so at different points and got separated and met with different degrees of failure. The first time we nearly all made it. We had time and were closing in the boat. Bisticles destroyed the Dinghy with a golf club.
We tried again, and again we almost made it, but I failed at ejecting from the car and died before my parachute opened.
Yet again. This time 2 cars and we were close, but Bisticles and Bairns left a huge path of destruction and Kelly and I weren't able to get through. Kelly and I doubled back hit a side path and made it to the boat. Bisticles and Bairns made it to the jump but did what I did previously and failed the jump.
Thanks to the destruction the Riot vans were now spawning. And after various attempts with super cars and having our tires shot out, we hit a great opportunity to get in Riot vans just as we were leaving the city. We stuck together, took the path Kelly and I previously took when we had to doubleback and made it to the Dinghy with a couple minutes to spare. Took out the initial wave of cops and voila.

I'll post a highlight clip later today.

This is all okay because we now have a high school weightlifter on call for backup.

geeves fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Mar 28, 2015

# ? Mar 28, 2015 15:46

theCalamity: Oct 23, 2010; Cry Havoc and let slip the Hogs of War

How much money did you guys lose?

# ? Mar 28, 2015 15:58

geeves: Sep 16, 2004

theCalamity posted:

How much money did you guys lose?

We ended up with the minimum. For me it was worth it to try a bunch of different ways to see what alternatives work and at one point we were nearly there with over $1m.

We also had to restart the entire heist twice due to R* Connection Issues _(SM). I think we ran it all probably 15-20 times through - maybe more - starting at 11-11:15p and finally making it around 1:30a

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:08

Wee Bairns: Feb 10, 2004; Jack Tripper's wingman.

The 'take" bottoms out at just over 600k and doesn't fall anymore after that. Thankfully. Bisticles up-front money would've been long gone otherwise.

Another death had Kelly and geeves waiting at the dinghy when Bisticles and I both jumped out of a police truck at the parachute jump and both parachuted into the sides of the mountain.

Oh, and the rpg suicide I had a split second after leaving the bank...

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:08

titties: May 10, 2012; They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Does anyone want to run the first heist for a quick $70k? Even if you're brand new and you've never done it before, that's ok. It's super easy and we'll finish it in 15 - 20 minutes. PSN: mr_dread

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:16

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

Grabbing cars and cutting across and following the river is the way to go. Like geeves said, if we had stick together better we could have made it though sooner.

I think riot vans are the way to go - they made blasting through the police on the dirt road along the river a piece of cake.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:30

BitBasher: Jun 6, 2004; You've got to know the rules before you can break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.

Kelly posted:

Grabbing cars and cutting across and following the river is the way to go. Like geeves said, if we had stick together better we could have made it though sooner.

I think riot vans are the way to go - they made blasting through the police on the dirt road along the river a piece of cake.

Being able to right a bike, use brakes to avoid cop cars because careful is better than fast, and just driving straight to the dinghy is the way to go. :P

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:40

omg chael crash: Jul 8, 2012; Macys paid for this. Noodle Boy and Bonby are bad at video games and even worse friends.

I'm, uh, not so upset now that I've irreparably shattered my hand.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:46

Fenom: Mar 23, 2007

bisticles posted:

Bairnes, Geeves, CashCamden and I failed the last final heist every way imaginable tonight. It was getting absurd. When we were in the final last few seconds, I honestly would have thrown my ps4 out the window if anything happened.

Videos incoming.

Hate to tell you guys this, but if you ride the Bikes to the Pier and jump on a boat or Seasharks the cops pretty much ignore you the whole way and you can just ride them all the way to the Dinghy with minimal interference and no risk of bike crashes. We failed it a few times until we tried that and we made it out with like 1.125mill only because I jumped off the second floor of a building and lost a decent amount.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 16:54

Pretzel Rod Serling: Aug 6, 2008

The whole crew went down to the pier last time I played that heist (Thursday night) and neither boats nor Seasharks spawned... Did the patch fix that?

edit: Ah man my character's face changed and now she has a Jay-Z chin

What's the fix for this again?

Pretzel Rod Serling fucked around with this message at 17:59 on Mar 28, 2015

# ? Mar 28, 2015 17:05

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

BitBasher posted:

Being able to right a bike, use brakes to avoid cop cars because careful is better than fast, and just driving straight to the dinghy is the way to go. :P

Well, for YOU maybe. :v:

We had some amazingly bad luck - if you don't move down the alley fast enough the police stop pulling up in cars and just start spawning all over the place. As in, you'll be running and suddenly one will be in front of you shooting.

The other really, really, REALLY weird thing was that at certain points, I'd be running and geeves, wee and bisticlz would be stopped facing me with their arms out at their sides, like christ on the cross. Someone called it "crucifixing" which accurately describes it. Everyone saw it at some point I believe.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 19:13

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

If I hosted a heist and we went through a few setups but then stopped, I can't join other heists without losing my heist progress and the buy-in, right?

# ? Mar 28, 2015 19:20

Pretzel Rod Serling: Aug 6, 2008

Kelly posted:

The other really, really, REALLY weird thing was that at certain points, I'd be running and geeves, wee and bisticlz would be stopped facing me with their arms out at their sides, like christ on the cross. Someone called it "crucifixing" which accurately describes it. Everyone saw it at some point I believe.

That's T-pose, it's the default unanimated state of a 3D model. Just a glitch, probably caused by lag.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 19:31

cka: May 3, 2004

Pleads posted:

If I hosted a heist and we went through a few setups but then stopped, I can't join other heists without losing my heist progress and the buy-in, right?

your progress saves, but you'll ruin the do-them-in-order and other challenges (which don't particularly matter anyway)

# ? Mar 28, 2015 19:46

Quicksand_Jesus: Dec 19, 2005; Lasagna Miracle

omg chael crash posted:

I'm, uh, not so upset now that I've irreparably shattered my hand.

Soooo... you're crippled forever? Interesting.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 20:07

omg chael crash: Jul 8, 2012; Macys paid for this. Noodle Boy and Bonby are bad at video games and even worse friends.

I'll be getting surgery on Thursday and then no video games for about a month.

But I'll never let you go, Jack

# ? Mar 28, 2015 20:16

Agent Burt Macklin: Jul 3, 2003; Macklin, you son of a bitch

Pretzel Rod Stewart posted:

That's T-pose, it's the default unanimated state of a 3D model. Just a glitch, probably caused by lag.

All the time I've spent playing this game (and it is A LOT) I've never seen that before, and then during the final heist is happened several times.

Oh GTA! :allears:

# ? Mar 28, 2015 20:30

Pleads: Jun 9, 2005; pew pew pew

cka posted:

your progress saves, but you'll ruin the do-them-in-order and other challenges (which don't particularly matter anyway)

Oh, ok. Sweet.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 20:35

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Got rained out, so i'm on gta for the rest of the day. just gonna be doing races and poo poo unless someone invites me to a heist. We worked out a bulletproof strategy for the prison break thing, and if the host skips the intros we could probably hammer the whole thing out in an hour.

# ? Mar 28, 2015 21:01