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 IT'S DERBY TIME Oh what the gently caress is this. The Kentucky Derby is the first leg of horse racing's triple crown. Once the prestigious "sport of kings," horse racing has had ... a bit of a rough stretch recently. All tracks are in trouble, save for CDI (Churchill's owners), who are literally the epitome of evil. Horse breeding has gotten out of control, as well, as more and more focus is given to speed in breeding and not endurance. This is a problem, as you're basically asking horse toddlers to run a mile and a quarter. Bad things often happen. Why should I watch this then? Well, horse racing has gotten somewhat safer recently due to a lot of the tracks being redone. Track breakdowns are trending down as a result, and the race itself is pretty exciting! It's probably homerism, but there's nothing like hearing My Old Kentucky Home after the call to post. You can feel the wind of the infield and hear the people sing one of the few sets of lyrics they know. We even got the racist lyrics out of the song! It's truly a progressive environment here in Louisville. What do I need to know? You'll need this and a place to bet. You gotta bet the Derby, you're doing it wrong if you don't. For the whole twelve people who give a poo poo about horse racing on the forums, the undercard is also fascinating, as you see a lot of Grades 1-3 races with horses that are a pretty big deal. (Graded races are huge. They're like prize fights amongst horse racing.) In addition, Churchill Downs' track has been redone slightly over the last few years and has evened out "bias" a bit. Literally any horse can win. I've been doing this for years, and you might as well pick by jockey silks and/or name, because it's about as effective. This is the time of year that horse players get to watch helplessly as a guy smashed out of his mind on mint juleps randomly picks a horse based on name and wins hundreds of dollars. That is the only bet that person will play the entire year. He will win more than we will clear in our entire lives. How do I derby? If you're in Louisville, you need to be watching local NBC. Everyone involved is drunk. Everyone. It's amazing. If you have TVG or HRTV, you're also set. Todd Schrup and Simon Bray will get you through this well enough. Regardless, you'll want bourbon. Lots and lots and lots of bourbon. Who should I bet? gently caress if I know. American Pharoh is a fine choice. Upstart is the "wiseguy" bet. I like Nubtaahaj, personally, but the jockey is a French guy who's never raced on Churchill. That's pretty much a death sentence for your chances. Anyway, we'll see how this goes. If anyone interested keeps the the thread alive, we'll all get plastered and bet on herd animals! If not, I'll... lock the thread and get plastered on my own. Win win! Let's do this thing  Late Edit: McGee Household Pick 4: 8: 4/5 9: 2/5 10: 9/10 11 (derby!): 5/6/18/19 Do not bet this you won't win oh god Edit x2: It's Lou-uh-vul. Slur the last syllable like you're having a stroke. Any other pronunciation is coming from a poser. 
Chokes McGee fucked around with this message at 19:41 on May 2, 2015 |
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May 2, 2015 18:49
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I'm watching. Gotta disagree about Todd Schrupp, he's a big dork. Go Dortmund I guess!
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May 2, 2015 19:36
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Moktaro posted:I'm watching. Gotta disagree about Todd Schrupp, he's a big dork. I like Todd Schrup because he put on a singlet once to interview a pro wrestling guy. Also I may or may not have had three mint juleps already. Let's go horses! 
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May 2, 2015 19:37
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I liked seeing that bit about Silver Charm (and Gary Stevens  ), he was one of my favs. Also I've been to Old Friends, it's great seeing past stakes winners and also-rans alike getting to spend the twilight of their lives just chillin.Oh god Carpe Diem is 7-1, that's tempting.
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May 2, 2015 19:56
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Moktaro posted:I liked seeing that bit about Silver Charm (and Gary Stevens I got to see John Henry at the Horse Park a few days before his death. He basically refused to die the week everyone thought he would, waited two weeks, and then passed peacefully. When we went to see him, he refused to acknowledge anyone. He died as he lived. 
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May 2, 2015 19:58
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I also went to the Horse Park, caught Funny Cide making hilarious grumpy old man noises while dozing.
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May 2, 2015 20:00
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We're the only people posting, aren't we. We should get a horribly drunken LP going for the day or something.
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May 2, 2015 20:02
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And my pick 4 detonates in the first leg 
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May 2, 2015 20:05
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Mandatory reading for those looking to HORSEBET http://www.sbnation.com/2012/5/3/2989224/kentucky-derby-how-to-bet-factual-information
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May 2, 2015 21:02
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Well the coverage is terrible
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May 2, 2015 21:24
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The derby owns but I dunno what to post about it so I'm just gonna drink bourbon and watch people in dumb hats
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May 2, 2015 21:41
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go horses
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May 2, 2015 21:49
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As long as the horsies don't beat their fillies this is probably the one sporting event I can enjoy without reservation today
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May 2, 2015 21:57
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We've already two manned a bottle of buffalo trace and are wearing silly hats. I made bourbon honey roasted peanuts
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May 2, 2015 21:59
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Benne posted:As long as the horsies don't beat their fillies this is probably the one sporting event I can enjoy without reservation today
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May 2, 2015 21:59
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Anyway, I'm rooting for Dortmund to live up to his namesake and thoroughly disappoint everyone who ever had hopes for him
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May 2, 2015 22:06
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I don't have any bourbon so I guess it's rum for me. 
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May 2, 2015 22:12
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Moktaro posted:I don't have any bourbon so I guess it's rum for me.
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May 2, 2015 22:13
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go buy bourbon
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May 2, 2015 22:14
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I hope everyone live posts during the 2 minutes of actual racing.
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May 2, 2015 22:15
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Tater Love 
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MourningView posted:The derby owns but I dunno what to post about it so I'm just gonna drink bourbon and watch people in dumb hats Hoping this happens again 
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May 2, 2015 22:27
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I moved to Louisville 6 months ago but because I have a wife and 2 year old and know no one else in the city, I have not done any derby events at all. It's crazy how much the city shuts down for derby weekend and the few weekends before. I do have some Woodford Reserve Kentucky Derby 141, which is pretty tasty, and I've been watching the last hour or so of coverage. I'd like to go to the Oaks some time, I hear that's the race for the locals.
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May 2, 2015 22:31
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I expected more out of Johnny Weir's outfit.
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May 2, 2015 22:35
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Great day to be at the track. Sucks that I had things to do... Louisville shuts down for this, there will be well over 150 thousand people there today
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May 2, 2015 22:49
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I will have a house by next year's Derby, and I will invite any Louisville local folks to come watch with me.
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May 2, 2015 22:55
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All this fluff is annoying, just go back to more Johnny and Tara 
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May 2, 2015 22:56
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If you are on the backside and act like you belong you can just join a random entourage and make it to the paddock.
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May 2, 2015 23:02
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C. Everett Koop posted:I expected more out of Johnny Weir's outfit. I thought he was wearing his pajamas.
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May 2, 2015 23:03
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gently caress that, this broadcast needs Doc Emerick and Pierre McGuire.
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May 2, 2015 23:03
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I love this Cosmopolitan commercial. Anyways, go Frosted!
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May 2, 2015 23:07
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I'm going with Firing Line to trip and get shot
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May 2, 2015 23:15
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Hey, we stayed over after the NASCAR race in #nascar to chat this like we always do. Since this is racing, come in if you want to livechat this: http://client00.chat.mibbit.com/#nascar@irc.synirc.net Also: quote:Jay Busbee @jaybusbee 11m11 minutes ago Covered the Derby a few years ago. They let the press make bets in the press box. Also, people throw glasses at each other. GLASS glasses. Jesus. Acquilae posted:I love this Cosmopolitan commercial. Is that the "This place is too sexy for you to come stay" ad for the Vegas hotel set to Mos Def?
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May 2, 2015 23:23
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Turn left Firing Line nooooo
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May 2, 2015 23:23
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If anyone is interested in Hunter S Thompson's thoughts on the Derby: http://english138.web.unc.edu/files/2011/08/The-Kentucky-Derby-is-Decadent-and-Depraved.pdf
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May 2, 2015 23:24
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DERBY TIME I HOPE EVERYONE DIES
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May 2, 2015 23:27
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im not that familiar with jockies but are they as well bred as the horses they ride?
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May 2, 2015 23:28
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Let us now sing this song about a dying slave we've inexplicably made the state anthem.
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May 2, 2015 23:30
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Zyla posted:DERBY TIME I HOPE EVERYONE DIES But not the horses nooo.
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May 2, 2015 23:30
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Sucrose posted:But not the horses nooo. horses are cool, i just want everyone in the stands taken out
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May 2, 2015 23:31
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 12:59 |
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Sucrose posted:Let us now sing this song about a dying slave we've inexplicably made the state anthem. They updated the lyrics so it's not quite as racist!
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May 2, 2015 23:32
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