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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

congrats

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Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax

Um, that's not her. Do they all look alike to you

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010



Detective Thompson posted:

Us white people seem to have problems telling just how old black people are, anyway.

And Hispanic people. And Asian people.

Wild T
Dec 15, 2008

The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.

Y'know, as I travel around over the years I sometimes I feel like I miss growing up in Anne Arundel county a little bit. Then I see things like this and decide, y'know, maybe I won't move back. Better to not have my nuts bitten by a cop.

duckmaster
Sep 13, 2004
Mr and Mrs Duck go and stay in a nice hotel.

One night they call room service for some condoms as things are heating up.

The guy arrives and says "do you want me to put it on your bill"

Mr Duck says "what kind of pervert do you think I am?!

QUACK QUACK
7th January 2014

5th May 2015

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



Yeah, an 'accident'. Now we know how Aldi keeps its prices so low.

Chicken Butt
Oct 27, 2010
Why are the cops wearing masks?

Skinny King Pimp
Aug 25, 2011
Skinny Queen Wimp

Chicken Butt posted:

Why are the cops wearing masks?

They probably work undercover and don't want anyone to recognize them later.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty
That and I wouldn't be surprised if breathing masks are involved in their rigs as well. Because when you're dealing with substances that effect you by inhaling them day in and day out, you kinda want protection.

tight aspirations
Jul 13, 2009

Skinny King Pimp posted:

They probably work undercover and don't want anyone to recognize them later.

So why are they even in the picture then?

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

22 Eargesplitten posted:

And Hispanic people. And Asian people.

To be fair, we Asians and Pacific Islanders just age well. Keanu is in his fifties, iirc.

22 Eargesplitten
Oct 10, 2010



Wait. Keanu Reeves is part Asian? Next you'll be telling me Ben Kingsley is part Indian.

Seriously, though. White people just seem to age worse than every other ethnicity. I don't know if it's our vulnerability to the sun or what.

22 Eargesplitten has a new favorite as of 20:40 on May 12, 2015

C.M. Kruger
Oct 28, 2013

quote:

Incident: Lufthansa A321 near Istanbul on May 10th 2015, sounds of barking dogs with no indication of a hydraulic problem

Scaly Haylie
Dec 25, 2004


Source? No? Okay.

Dr. Benway
Dec 9, 2005

We can't stop here! This is bat country!

quote:

Indecent: C. M. Kruger, SometingAwful.com on May 12th 2015, sounds of barking dogs with no indication of post.

PizzaProwler
Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.

Captain_Person posted:

Make sure you read this one to the very end.



Sadly, I believed this one up until the baby alligator part. That was just too Florida to be real.

EXAKT Science
Aug 14, 2012

8 on the Kinsey scale

pookel
Oct 27, 2011

Ultra Carp
I must be missing something. Cute pic, normal-sounding headlines ...?

EXAKT Science
Aug 14, 2012

8 on the Kinsey scale
Something about the Doctor headline just got me.

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS
Are they saying that everyone over 40 should wear kitten heels? Ok, I guess...

One Swell Foop
Aug 5, 2010

I'm afraid we have no time for codes and manners.

C.M. Kruger posted:

Incident: Lufthansa A321 near Istanbul on May 10th 2015, sounds of barking dogs with no indication of a hydraulic problem

The hydraulic pressure balancing systems on Airbuses do sound like a dog barking, according to an in-flight magazine I once read. You can usually hear them while the plane's taxiing before takeoff.

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action

22 Eargesplitten posted:

Seriously, though. White people just seem to age worse than every other ethnicity. I don't know if it's our vulnerability to the sun or what.

Counter point: Johnny Depp

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

swampland posted:

Counter point: Johnny Depp

And Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012
I'm pretty sure Helen Mirren has made a contract with some description of dark god, too.

Goosed it.
Nov 3, 2011

Darth Walrus posted:

I'm pretty sure Helen Mirren has made a contract with some description of dark god, too.

And Jennifer Aniston

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty
Matt Dillon taught the trick to Heather Graham on the set of Drugstore Cowboy.

pookel
Oct 27, 2011

Ultra Carp
My ex (who at 40 still looks 22) always said he had Dick Clark Syndrome.

Kids these days don't know what that means. :(

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:
Turns out that celebrities with access to trainers, nutritionists, skin treatments, and plastic surgery age "better" than us plebs :wow:

Kitsch!
Jul 27, 2006

God made Adam and Eve, not Fluffy and Eve.

Darth Walrus posted:

I'm pretty sure Helen Mirren has made a contract with some description of dark god, too.

Goosed it. posted:

And Jennifer Aniston

Having children ages you terribly, it seems.

Eggbeater Jesus
Sep 21, 2008

Add a dab of lavender to milk. Leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.
Man sneezes out dart stuck up nose for 44 years

KillHour
Oct 28, 2007



loving hell. :psyduck:

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

The other story linked there is crazy too.
Mystery man slaps shoppers around head for sneezing

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle
Are they connected?

Karma Monkey
Sep 6, 2005

I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

Are they connected?

IDK maybe he was trying to help them knock toy darts out of their noses.

Lady Disdain
Jan 14, 2013


are you yet living?

Kitsch! posted:

Having children ages you terribly, it seems.

Meryl Streep has also aged really well, and she has kids.

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action
I actually just looked it up and Johnny Depp is the same age as my dad while looking maybe 5-10 years older than me. Weird.

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

swampland posted:

I actually just looked it up and Johnny Depp is the same age as my dad while looking maybe 5-10 years older than me. Weird.

Scarves make anyone look younger.

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT
Back on track with weird news stories...

Florida Man Turns Himself In For Murdering Imaginary Friend

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purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl


Also fake: https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan/status/598256111360311296

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