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Mooseykins
Aug 9, 2013

Triangle tits and an annoying sex voice?

Fuuuuck youuuuu sluuuut!

Tex Avery posted:

Where are you from? I've actually never heard anyone refer to that light as orange.

They're amber! :psyduck:

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NoWake
Dec 28, 2008

College Slice
I rear-ended someone who'd stopped on chartruse last week.

I was doing 50, the limit, in the empty left lane passing slower traffic in the right, when they jumped into my lane going significantly slower and stopped immediately as the light blinked yellow. I remember seeing their van lurch when they stopped. I had already been slowing down with my foot over the brake pedal when they entered my lane, and I jammed on the brake pedal in a panic when I saw them stop for the yellow. Literal knee-jerk reaction. It didn't help any that it was a downhill grade to the intersection, and the road was super slick from the rain, and there was an initial speed differential between us of 25mph or so.

I got away with a tow bill, a citation, and a few panels of sheet metal to source and replace. The driver of the van was arrested for no license or insurance, and basically shouldn't have been on the road in the first place.

Scruff McGruff
Feb 13, 2007

Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives.

NoWake posted:

I rear-ended someone who'd stopped on chartruse last week.

I was doing 50, the limit, in the empty left lane passing slower traffic in the right, when they jumped into my lane going significantly slower and stopped immediately as the light blinked yellow. I remember seeing their van lurch when they stopped. I had already been slowing down with my foot over the brake pedal when they entered my lane, and I jammed on the brake pedal in a panic when I saw them stop for the yellow. Literal knee-jerk reaction. It didn't help any that it was a downhill grade to the intersection, and the road was super slick from the rain, and there was an initial speed differential between us of 25mph or so.

I got away with a tow bill, a citation, and a few panels of sheet metal to source and replace. The driver of the van was arrested for no license or insurance, and basically shouldn't have been on the road in the first place.

It drives me nuts when people stopped behind someone in another lane jump into my lane at a red light as I'm still approaching the red. I was stopping based on the amount of distance I had to the red and now you have significantly changed the amount of distance I have to stop! Is it really such torture to be behind another car at the light that you need to get into the empty lane? Even worse is after the light turns green and that person just putts along. If you are going to gently caress with my stopping distance at least get going. Why was it such a big deal for you to be first in the line when you aren't even going fast?

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


I had someone do that to me in an advance green turning lane, pulled out of a straight lane that had a red into the turning lane right in front of me that had an advance green and stopped at the stop line as if it was red. I was cranking on it pretty good, so was able to react pretty quickly and come to a stop. and stood on the horn until they started moving again.


Scruff McGruff posted:

It drives me nuts when people stopped behind someone in another lane jump into my lane at a red light as I'm still approaching the red. I was stopping based on the amount of distance I had to the red and now you have significantly changed the amount of distance I have to stop! Is it really such torture to be behind another car at the light that you need to get into the empty lane? Even worse is after the light turns green and that person just putts along. If you are going to gently caress with my stopping distance at least get going. Why was it such a big deal for you to be first in the line when you aren't even going fast?


It's 10 times worse in a truck because it's that much harder to stop, and you usuallly have to get a roll on before the light goes green or you're seriously holding up traffic. people cut in front taking the distance i was using to stop, and i get rolling a little as the light turns green expecting them to go within a couple seconds of it turning green and they just sit there.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

While at lunch today, we drove through a construction zone where the right lane turns into a turn only lane with very little warning. Giant 18 wheeler in the right lane needed to merge left so he could drive through, some dimwit in a Chrysler 200 in the left lane felt this was a personal insult and jammed the gas to fill the gap and prevent a merge.

Except the truck had no options and kept on merging.. he was half in one lane and half in the other and holding everyone up so he really had no choice. Instead of just tapping the brakes briefly, mister Chrysler doubled down and crossed a double yellow, laying on the horn. So now oncoming traffic is also involved and they have to hit their brakes.

He eventually jammed his stupid rear end in front of the truck, hope it was worth it.

El Jebus
Jun 18, 2008

This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

Scruff McGruff posted:

It drives me nuts when people stopped behind someone in another lane jump into my lane at a red light as I'm still approaching the red. I was stopping based on the amount of distance I had to the red and now you have significantly changed the amount of distance I have to stop! Is it really such torture to be behind another car at the light that you need to get into the empty lane? Even worse is after the light turns green and that person just putts along. If you are going to gently caress with my stopping distance at least get going. Why was it such a big deal for you to be first in the line when you aren't even going fast?

It is so nice to be on a bike in CA where I can just filter past them. Most of the time, they stop with 10-15ft left before the line, too, so after I filter past them I just pull in front of them. Thought you would get away with not having anyone in front of you when the light turns green, didn't you, rear end in a top hat? These are often the same people that spend the whole light cycle slowly creeping forward as if they are going to launch but then sit for 10 seconds after the light turns green lime again.

sleepy.eyes
Sep 14, 2007

Like a pig in a chute.
Saw some dude in a 90s Civic last night with one headlight out. His one working light had its high beam on. Was it a misguided attempt to make up for one missing light or was he an rear end? The world may never know!

sleepy.eyes fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Jun 5, 2015

Count Freebasie
Jan 12, 2006

Got passed on the highway earlier today by a guy on sport bike doing a wheelie at at least 90 mph. How these guys (there are a lot near where I was) never end up as organ donors is beyond me.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.

Count Freebasie posted:

Got passed on the highway earlier today by a guy on sport bike doing a wheelie at at least 90 mph. How these guys (there are a lot near where I was) never end up as organ donors is beyond me.
Well, are you absolutely certain you've ever seen the same one twice?

Devor
Nov 30, 2004
Lurking more.

sleepy.eyes posted:

Saw some dude in a 90s Civic last night with one headlight out. His one working light had its high beam on. Was it a misguided attempt to make up for one missing light or was he an rear end? The world may never know!

Maybe both his low beams were burned out, and that one high beam was all he had left.

DEAR RICHARD
Feb 5, 2009

IT'S TIME FOR MY TOOLS
Cruising along at about 67 in the middle lane of I5 and I see a Jeep Cherokee come screaming up behind me with their left turn signal on. Dude was on my rear end with his signal on and motioning at me like crazy...

...and the left lane was completely empty.

Why didn't he just pass me?

wayfinder
Jul 7, 2003

DEAR RICHARD posted:

Cruising along at about 67 in the middle lane of I5 and I see a Jeep Cherokee come screaming up behind me with their left turn signal on. Dude was on my rear end with his signal on and motioning at me like crazy...

...and the left lane was completely empty.

Why didn't he just pass me?

Could he have passed you on the right as well?

Mooseykins
Aug 9, 2013

Triangle tits and an annoying sex voice?

Fuuuuck youuuuu sluuuut!

DEAR RICHARD posted:

Cruising along at about 67 in the middle lane of I5 and I see a Jeep Cherokee come screaming up behind me with their left turn signal on. Dude was on my rear end with his signal on and motioning at me like crazy...

...and the left lane was completely empty.

Why didn't he just pass me?

Maybe he was English.

PaganGoatPants
Jan 18, 2012

TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!
Grimey Drawer

DEAR RICHARD posted:

Cruising along at about 67 in the middle lane of I5 and I see a Jeep Cherokee come screaming up behind me with their left turn signal on. Dude was on my rear end with his signal on and motioning at me like crazy...

...and the left lane was completely empty.

Why didn't he just pass me?

Had a guy do this to me today while I was in the far right lane. I gave him the finger through my rearview so he passed me on a merging lane then flew across 3 lanes to get into the far left...he could've just gone left to start with. I can't go faster than the car in front of me buddy. :shrug:

Uthor
Jul 9, 2006

Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.
Got stuck in about three miles of traffic because a bus broke down.

In the breakdown lane.

On the other side of the highway behind the divider.

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON

Count Freebasie posted:

How these guys (there are a lot near where I was) never end up as organ donors is beyond me.

I agree, there is no justice in the world.

corgski
Feb 6, 2007

Silly goose, you're here forever.

Okay, I understand that highways are big and scary but if you're going 25 mph merging into 70mph traffic you're the problem.

At least they didn't stop on the on-ramp.

gently caress Pennsylvania.

babyeatingpsychopath
Oct 28, 2000
Forum Veteran


Scruff McGruff posted:

It drives me nuts when people stopped behind someone in another lane jump into my lane at a red light as I'm still approaching the red. I was stopping based on the amount of distance I had to the red and now you have significantly changed the amount of distance I have to stop! Is it really such torture to be behind another car at the light that you need to get into the empty lane? Even worse is after the light turns green and that person just putts along. If you are going to gently caress with my stopping distance at least get going. Why was it such a big deal for you to be first in the line when you aren't even going fast?

I'm sorry I cut people off to get into the free lane. I'm a bad person for doing this.

But I use all of my meagre engine's capability to go like hell off the green. I've seen my fuel map. My best fuel economy is at 1100 RPM and WOT, everything in between is ugly compromise. I'll do either, but 1100RPM acceleration is not a whole bunch of fun. Let's let this 3.8 purr (or hum, growl, rattle, knock, cough, wheeze) on up to whatever our intended speed is, then let the transmission just shift from "1" into "OD" and we can be on our way.

I'm not lying, either. I cut off teslas, then out-accelerate them up to 65. It's because I'm not texting. I'm also not dicking with the radio, because it's broken. I'm not messing with my mirrors, because they've fallen off. I'm not fiddling with my drinks, because I have no cupholders.

I passed a Lamborghini Aventador the other day. It was on the back of a flatbed, but I count it as a "win."

You share the road with me, and I drive a beater.

`Nemesis
Dec 30, 2000

railroad graffiti
Did 1,600 miles over two days (with a one day break in between), had lots of fun.

Best moment was climbing a hill in Missouri. A line of cars stuck behind a semi truck climbing the hill at about 45 mph, speed limit is 70.

I'm in the left lane with the cruise set at 77, and some shitbox early 90's cavalier tries to merge into my lane to get around the semi. Had to stand on the brakes to avoid hitting him, and surprisingly I didn't get assfucked by the BMW tailgating me either.

Second favorite was also in Missouri, two days earlier. Cruise set at 77 again, it's about 1am, so barely any traffic. There's an SUV doing about 50 and as I approach to pass he just drifts right into my lane, I swerved onto the shoulder to complete the pass. gently caress drunk drivers.

PaganGoatPants
Jan 18, 2012

TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!
Grimey Drawer
This is an off-ramp where the left lane goes around, and the right lane turns sharply to the right.



90% of the time anyone driving down the right lane actually want to go left and do it just to avoid turning their wheel. It's a pain in the rear end because I can easily move along-side them when they do this, but I know for sure they will be cutting back across at the last second and won't be looking as they slam into me.

Deedle
Oct 17, 2011
before you ask, yes I did inform the DMV of my condition and medication, and I passed the medical and psychological evaluation when I got my license. I've passed them every time I have gone to renew my license.
Just went to get takeaway, and on the way home some oval office driving a Hyundai Atos, decided that it is perfectly sane to not accelerate beyond 45kph on the onramp.
Ofcourse they merge into the motorway across the first block marking and then slowly accelerated to something that is probably so slow it endangers traffic.

But they did know how to honk at me for overtaking them on the right-hand side and using the entire 450m long merge lane to get up to 130ish kph.

Stupid oval office should be happy there wasn't 65t of LZV in the slow lane. Because I very much doubt one of those things would have been able to dodge that Atos.

People are loving stupid.

GramCracker
Oct 8, 2005

beauty by stroll

Deedle posted:

People are loving stupid.

This should be the thread title.

QuiteEasilyDone
Jul 2, 2010

Won't you play with me?
My girlfriend is someone you may share a road with. Let's run down a checklist of all the things terrible.

Foglights: Always on
Headlights: aimed 40-60 degrees left. Cannot see in front in dark
Curb rash: you better believe it
Laneholding: Cannot maintain a lane in the presence of other headlights.

Learning status: Cannot even.

Just tonight she blew a red that she "didn't see" despite me warning her well before the panic threshold that a red light was coming up because she was still accelerating towards it. Hell the only reason she was able to avoid the a tuck going straight across was shouting "redlight! Redlight!"

Apparently sighing after barely managing to avoid plowing us under a freightliner means I'm being "mean and judging", loving hell.

Also "I can't do highways"

QuiteEasilyDone fucked around with this message at 07:40 on Jun 7, 2015

PaganGoatPants
Jan 18, 2012

TODAY WAS THE SPECIAL SALE DAY!
Grimey Drawer
Mean and judging? Can't do highways? :cmon:

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006

Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane
Why do you willingly drive with someone who you don't feel is able to drive safely? Would you knowingly get into a car driven by someone who's drunk?

spog
Aug 7, 2004

It's your own bloody fault.

PT6A posted:

Why do you willingly drive with someone who you don't feel is able to drive safely?

Boobs.

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD
the better question is why are these people on the road

Mooseykins
Aug 9, 2013

Triangle tits and an annoying sex voice?

Fuuuuck youuuuu sluuuut!

go3 posted:

the better question is why are these people on the road

Because it's their right! Somehow despite having a test and licence system in place most are totally incompetent.

Maybe a minimum IQ requirement should be implemented.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Except IQ has nothing to do with driving ability.

Really all that's needed is an effective licensing system that actually tests drivers instead of rubber stamping everything. And an enforcement system that makes mistakes costly.

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

Also mandatory retesting every 5 years.

QuiteEasilyDone
Jul 2, 2010

Won't you play with me?

PT6A posted:

Why do you willingly drive with someone who you don't feel is able to drive safely? Would you knowingly get into a car driven by someone who's drunk?

Because this is perhaps the second time I've gotten into the car with them at the wheel in the 6 months of going out with them.

redgubbinz
May 1, 2007

Cakefool posted:

Also mandatory retesting every 5 years.

I've always said this is an excellent idea. Make it 10 since the DMV can barely keep the lights on anyway. I've ridden with and some drivers who would have about a 50/50 chance of passing the joke of a road test at any given time, and that's not even considering some of our more mature friends on the road.

80 in the fast lane, a oval office hair from the guy in front, unable to read road signs without glasses which are of course not being worn. It was a fun time, for sure. :psyduck:

redgubbinz fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Jun 7, 2015

InterceptorV8
Mar 9, 2004

Loaded up and trucking.We gonna do what they say cant be done.
https://youtu.be/JITmiRuJxCg

gently caress going to the DMV to be retested. Just put herd bumpers on everything and we'll solve all your problems.

Not Wolverine
Jul 1, 2007

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

My girlfriend is someone you may share a road with. Let's run down a checklist of all the things terrible.

Foglights: Always on
Headlights: aimed 40-60 degrees left. Cannot see in front in dark
Curb rash: you better believe it
Laneholding: Cannot maintain a lane in the presence of other headlights.

Learning status: Cannot even.

Just tonight she blew a red that she "didn't see" despite me warning her well before the panic threshold that a red light was coming up because she was still accelerating towards it. Hell the only reason she was able to avoid the a tuck going straight across was shouting "redlight! Redlight!"

Apparently sighing after barely managing to avoid plowing us under a freightliner means I'm being "mean and judging", loving hell.

Also "I can't do highways"

Hahahaha good luck.

My wife only scared me at a red light one time, she was trying to beat the yellow and I knew right away she wasn't going to make it. At one point, she said she thought stopping was optional when making a right turn at a red light. . . In her defense, I know she lived in a small town at the time but drove to the city to work each day, which was literally straight down the highway, make a u-turn and arrive at work, not much "city driving". Today, she drives a lot better, I think either my driving wore off on her or the car seat in the back makes her more careful.

The Locator
Sep 12, 2004

Out here, everything hurts.






:stare:

I'm really amazed that it didn't roll.

FogHelmut
Dec 18, 2003

QuiteEasilyDone posted:


Headlights: aimed 40-60 degrees left. Cannot see in front in dark


I replaced one of my wife's headlights, like the whole housing/unit. It didn't occur to me until a couple of years later to aim it , after we drove in her car one night. 99% of the time we take my car places. I fixed it and she couldn't believe how much better it was. Oops.

InitialDave
Jun 14, 2007

I Want To Believe.
I sort of support the idea of retesting at regular intervals, but I don't have a very high opinion of the knowledge of cars and driving that resides with those who would be doing said testing. Unless it was severely beaten into people that they are checking to make sure people are generally safe and attentive, not whether they are adhering to inane minutiae. There are enough people out there who never advanced beyond what was required to pass their driving test as it is.

atomicthumbs
Dec 26, 2010


We're in the business of extending man's senses.

InterceptorV8 posted:

https://youtu.be/JITmiRuJxCg

gently caress going to the DMV to be retested. Just put herd bumpers on everything and we'll solve all your problems.

how the hell have I not heard of the Nevada Open Road Challenge before? this owns

cakesmith handyman
Jul 22, 2007

Pip-Pip old chap! Last one in is a rotten egg what what.

Once again words of wisdom from Idave. Yes it's more important that people pay attention, as well as signaling where needed, not driving like a oval office etc.
"Drove like a proper oval office" would be the best way to fail your renewal though.

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Count Freebasie
Jan 12, 2006

Cakefool posted:

Also mandatory retesting every 5 years.

Over 65, every year.

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