Duggars: "Incest is Best"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

Lord of Pie: Mar 2, 2007

Full Battle Rattle posted:

I remember when I played hide and seek and when you get found you get raped

I had a punchline for that but writing it made me too sad

To be fair that's only the sly version of hide and seek

# ? Jun 8, 2015 03:53

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:25

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

:sly:

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:16

Fiend: Dec 2, 2001

SteveVizsla posted:

They rescue pet wolves and wolfdogs,do a lot of community stuff educating people and kids about wolves and that wolfdogs don't make good pets, and do fashion photography. The request was unsolicited and they aren't broken which is why they turned it down. I think they must send out hundreds of offers each year, with most getting turned down or just not being interesting enough for tv.

They should rephrase their request with a focus on serving Jesus.

They should also name their meanest wolf Jesus.

They should also enlist Pixar and get Burt Reynolds to train like he did in All Dogs Go To Heaven. I don't want to hire Burt Reynolds, but he should work out more

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:17

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

From atop his golden throne God Emperor Jim Bob has taken note of the liberal heresy on these forums. Gays, trannies, and atheists beware, he has sent his chief psyker, grand inquisitor grandma to planet GBS in the Something Awful system to commence exterminatus.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:42

Mr. Hand: Apr 28, 2015; by Cowcaster

Hey guys, I am sharing controversial opinions about this subject matter in this thread please chime in.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3724718

thx <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:50

Lazy_Liberal: Sep 17, 2005; These stones are precious

hi grandma

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:51

SpeedGem: Sep 19, 2012; by Ralp

im megyn kelly of fox news, and i endorse "well kids molest family members all the time" with a straight face.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:51

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

the family that lays together stays together

# ? Jun 8, 2015 04:55

uber_stoat: Jan 21, 2001; Pillbug

The Duggar seed will bring forth a new, holy, and righteous flowering of humanity, once Jehovah scours the Earth clean of the filth of the obamunists. A new day is dawning, and soon the sun will rise over Springdale and from those rays will be nourished a fine and beauteous crop of incestuous hillbilly mutants.

If you want a vision of the future, imagine dad and son raping the womenfolk forever.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 05:33

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

SpeedGem posted:

im megyn kelly of fox news, and i endorse "well kids molest family members all the time" with a straight face.

if you kids aren't dreaming of molesting each other you have failed as a parent.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 05:34

Top City Homo: Oct 15, 2014; Ramrod XTreme

still cant believe that all you have to do to make life is plomp ur gunk into a woman's hooha

then you get these sentient creatures that grow up and experience the abject horror that is existence

its really funny actually.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 05:49

basement jihadist: Oct 3, 2002

yeah all you have to do is have sex with a gril, its so easy, ugh

maybe in japan where people are not so shallow

# ? Jun 8, 2015 08:03

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

i hope everyone dies

# ? Jun 8, 2015 08:10

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Chinatown posted:

i hope everyone dies

good news, everyone will

# ? Jun 8, 2015 08:16

Murderion: Oct 4, 2009; 2019. New York is in ruins. The global economy is spiralling. Cyborgs rule over poisoned wastes.

The only time that's left is
FUN TIME

Million Ghosts posted:

Is a man not entitled to the jim of his bob? "No," says the first son, "it belongs to me."

"Jessa, are you afraid of God?"

"No. But I'm afraid of you."

# ? Jun 8, 2015 08:22

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

...

...

# ? Jun 8, 2015 08:32

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

Apparently In Touch still has mote dirt on them so this thing will keep rolling for some time.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 09:10

Lazy_Liberal: Sep 17, 2005; These stones are precious

i still can't believe i'm eager to read a tabloid. is this what being an adult is like?

# ? Jun 8, 2015 09:30

Mnemosyne: Jun 11, 2002; There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

Mnemosyne posted:

To be fair, it's actually a lot more work than that for the woman.

It's often much harder on the woman than on the man.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 09:43

basement jihadist: Oct 3, 2002

Angela Christine posted:

It's often much harder on the woman than on the man.

yeah loving right. in todays society, a man must be good looking, have money, a BMW maybe, act like a supreme gentleman to even get to sex... and he must spend moneyand stuff all so these girls do this and ITS EXPECTED and if you dont do it you're a failure and loser...

# ? Jun 8, 2015 09:48

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

CrowdControl posted:

In the recent interview, Jim Bob said something along the lines of "when he confessed the third time we really became concerned he might, you know, do it to the boys next time."

reasonable imo

# ? Jun 8, 2015 10:14

basement jihadist: Oct 3, 2002

he should have received his purification by now, like on the morrow

# ? Jun 8, 2015 10:20

Filox: Oct 4, 2014; Grimey Drawer

I just can't stop looking at this human politico-realigulous-pedotastic trainwreck.

Also, somewhat convinced young Josh Bob was working a humiliation fetish, what with all the confessing to JIMBOB and the Sacred Incubator.

...waiting confirmation that Josh confessions given while wearing a big, baggy, tent-like sweatshirt that covered ~~boner boy~~ the sinner to mid-thigh.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 10:26

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

To get the Josh Duggar story, InTouch utilized solid investigative journalism

Until Caitlyn Jenner displaced it in the tabloid firmament last week, the hottest story in America�s booming celebrity-gossip industry was the revelations about Josh Duggar. The eldest kid on the popular �19 Kids and Counting� reality TV series, Duggar, now 27, was identified in a 2005 police report as the alleged molester of five young girls, including four of his sisters, when he was a teenager.

Unlike the highly orchestrated Jenner story, the revelations about Duggar came from actual journalistic digging. And it came from a somewhat unlikely source: InTouch Weekly, a magazine and Web site not known as a giant of investigative journalism, even within the Kardashian-centric universe it inhabits.

InTouch�s last big splash, so to speak, was in January, when it photoshopped Jenner�s head onto a female model�s body to suggest what he might look like as a woman. At the time, Jenner�s intentions were rumored but unconfirmed, and InTouch�s cover was widely denounced as trashy and insensitive.

Yet InTouch has led coverage of the sordid Duggar story with what looks like solid reporting. Although rumors about Duggar�s past have appeared periodically on the Internet for years, the magazine nailed it by disclosing the police investigation and incident report. It subsequently revealed that Duggar�s father, Jim Bob, waited a year before reporting the allegations to authorities.

Not long after InTouch dropped its first bombshell, Josh Duggar resigned from his job at the Family Research Council, a conservative advocacy group based in Washington. His parents later acknowledged the veracity of the allegations, and Josh Duggar has apologized for �my wrongdoing.� Meanwhile, TLC, the cable network owned by Discovery Communications of Silver Spring, Md., has put �19 Kids and Counting� in limbo, its return to the air uncertain.

The scoops have damaged the Duggars� wholesome image, but they have been very, very good for InTouch, which competes against supermarket-checkout titans such as the National Enquirer, Star and OK! as well as Web sites such as Gawker, RadarOnline and TMZ. Most of InTouch�s 425,000 weekly copies are sold on newsstands, and the sensational Duggar headlines have produced a 15 percent bump in sales, at $2.99 per copy. Web traffic has shot up 25 percent, the magazine said.

�This all comes from good, basic journalism,� said David Perel, editorial director of InTouch and its sister gossip-purveyors, Life & Style and Closer. �It comes from being there. It�s knowing where to attack and where to start digging.�

The Duggar �get� is perhaps the highest-profile story InTouch has published since it was launched in 2002 by Bauer Media Group, a magazine and broadcasting conglomerate based in Germany.

The previous biggest story for the magazine, which is based in Englewood Cliffs, N.J., was its 2013 exclusive about the late Robert Kardashian�s diaries. The famed lawyer revealed �a heartbreaking childhood portrait of [daughters] Kim, Kourtney and Khlo� and a damning picture,� as InTouch put it, of the Kardashian kids� mother and his ex-wife, Kris, who later married Bruce Jenner.

The Duggar story came together quickly over a three-week period, said Perel, a veteran tabloid editor who joined the publication in late 2013 after guiding both the National Enquirer and Radar Online. He won�t name the magazine�s sources, but a woman named Tandra Barnfield apparently was a helpful guide.

Barnfield was contacted by an InTouch reporter, Melissa Roberto, earlier this year after Barnfield posted a photo on Instagram of her kissing her wife, Samantha Muzny, in front of the Duggars� home near Springdale, Ark. The photo � a protest, Barnfield said, of Michelle Duggar�s role in promoting opposition to an anti-discrimination initiative last year � had gone viral.

During their conversation, Barnfield, who lives in the Houston area but has family in Springdale, told Roberto about the police report. �It wasn�t like it was a rumor to us,� Barnfield said in an interview. �We knew all about it. . . . It wasn�t hard to get it. You just had to know where to look.�

In fact, it was a little more complicated than that. Perel quickly dispatched two reporters to Springdale and hired a local law firm to advise the magazine about Arkansas� open-records law, which enables residents (but not reporters from New Jersey) to obtain public documents.

The law firm filed the records request � and was rewarded with a copy of the original police report several days later. �We got it fast,� Perel said.

More requests and more documents followed, although Perel said the magazine hasn�t got everything it wanted. �Do I have more information on the Duggars in general?� he said. �Yes, I�d say we have some significant things coming out,� though he declined to say what.

Perel and Barnfield both deny that InTouch paid any sources for information, a common if ethically fraught practice among tabloid publications. (Perel, however, acknowledges that his magazine has paid for other stories.)

InTouch�s investigation of the Duggars has drawn the sort of recriminations and controversy that could form the basis of its own tabloid story. The most common line of attack, from Sarah Palin and Fox News, among others: that the stories are part of a left-wing media conspiracy against a family that has been a paragon of conservative values.

Perel has heard that before. When he was editing the National Enquirer, some of its scoops were also dismissed as politically motivated � but from alternating sides. The Enquirer enraged conservatives, for example, when it revealed radio host Rush Limbaugh�s addiction to pain killers. And it took heat from liberals when it revealed the extramarital affairs and out-of-wedlock children fathered by former Sen. John Edwards (D-N.C.) and civil rights activist the Rev. Jesse Jackson.

The InTouch editor also rebuts claims that the magazine revealed underage victims� names in its Duggar stories. �In Touch did not name the victims in any of its articles,� he said. �Many people were able to correctly speculate about the identity of four of the victims by the information released by the city of Springdale. The fifth victim�s identity is also known to In Touch and has not been disclosed.�

Celebrity-obsessed or not, Perel cites principles that could govern any newsroom: �We always want to make sure we get the whole story. You always have to be digging for what you don�t know. . . . Our intent has been to simply tell the truth about a newsworthy personality.�

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...d44e_story.html

# ? Jun 8, 2015 12:25

Mr. Pumroy: May 20, 2001

# ? Jun 8, 2015 12:43

bonestructure: Sep 25, 2008; by Ralp

Million Ghosts posted:

Is a man not entitled to the jim of his bob

# ? Jun 8, 2015 12:51

Top City Homo: Oct 15, 2014; Ramrod XTreme

good to finally see some quality journalism i.e. the most basic loving techniques to get actual original content on the news stands

maybe real journalism is making a comeback because of the downward pressure to differentiate media from copy-paste journalism

:smith:

# ? Jun 8, 2015 14:34

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

a large trout posted:

how long until a full on family suicide?

I look forward to Duggar Death Day.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 15:06

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Come on TLC

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/matt-amy-roloff-divorcing-little-people-big-world-couple-split-201556

nooooooooooooo

# ? Jun 8, 2015 15:12

Darkman Fanpage: Jul 4, 2012

lmao the small people are getting a small divorce!

# ? Jun 8, 2015 15:12

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

LingcodKilla posted:

I look forward to Duggar Death Day.

I'm seriously afraid that JIM BOB will announce himself as JIM GOD and drown the kids in a bathtub for "inviting sin into the household" after he sets the compound on fire. poo poo will end very badly for these kids any way you cut it. :smith:

# ? Jun 8, 2015 15:53

Automatic Slim: Jul 1, 2007

Ripoff posted:

I'm seriously afraid that JIM BOB will announce himself as JIM GOD and drown the kids in a bathtub for "inviting sin into the household" after he sets the compound on fire. poo poo will end very badly for these kids any way you cut it.

Doubtful. There's no way to market and merchandise that.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 15:59

TNG: Jan 4, 2001; by Lowtax

Hopefully Jim Bob, Michelle, and Josh drive into the side of the Wal-Mart they live right next to and the rest of the kids can have a chance at being real people.

# ? Jun 8, 2015 16:09

Zamboni Rodeo: Jul 19, 2007; NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!

you irl posted:

:sly:

:jimbob:

_{*Anyone who's got $30 and wants to, feel free to make this a smilie.}

# ? Jun 8, 2015 16:21

Dammit_Carl!: Mar 5, 2013

Ripoff posted:

I'm seriously afraid that JIM BOB will announce himself as JIM GOD and drown the kids in a bathtub for "inviting sin into the household" after he sets the compound on fire. poo poo will end very badly for these kids any way you cut it.

JIM BOB: Where's the vat, the vat, the vat? Where's the vat with the Green C on it? The vat with the Green C in. Bring it so we can begin.

MICHELLE: Go on unto the sink, and thank you Josh.

JIM BOB: ... Don't, don't fail to follow my advice. You'll be sorry. You'll be sorry. If we do it, than that they do it. Have trust. You have to step across. (Music.) We used to think this world was--this world was not our home--well, it sure isn't--we were saying--it sure wasn't.

He doesn't want to tell them. All he's doing--if they will tell them-- assure these kids. Can't some people assure these children of the relaxation of stepping over to the next plane? They set an example for others. We said --21 people who said, we don't like the way the world is.

VOICE: Take some.

JIM BOB: Take our life from us. We laid it down. We got tired. We didn't commit suicide, we committed an act of revolutionary suicide protesting the conditions of an inhumane world.

[Shamelessly stolen from Jim Jones' suicide tape transcript and modified and yes, I'm a horrible person]

# ? Jun 8, 2015 17:09

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:25

Ultimate Mango: Jan 18, 2005

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

:jimbob:

_{*Anyone who's got $30 and wants to, feel free to make this a smilie.}

The glasses need to be animated 'deal with it' style, but if they were, it would be worth my :10bux:

# ? Jun 8, 2015 17:16

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

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Full Battle Rattle posted:

SteveVizsla posted:

SpeedGem posted:

Chinatown posted:

Million Ghosts posted:

Top City Homo posted:

Mnemosyne posted:

Angela Christine posted:

CrowdControl posted:

quote:

Million Ghosts posted:

Top City Homo posted:

a large trout posted:

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

LingcodKilla posted:

Ripoff posted:

you irl posted:

Ripoff posted:

Zamboni_Rodeo posted: