GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

uh yea i think youre in denial about how old we all are. gramps

yeah my parents are both well into their 60s

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:38

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:23

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

uh yea i think youre in denial about how old we all are. gramps

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:45

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Whenever agechat comes up, most who reply are in their 20s. That puts most of their parents in their 40s or early 50s.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:50

Fister Ardennes: Apr 25, 2008; War is not the answer but it sure is fun

Potential BFF posted:

Everything is garbage except Nina Hartley. I wish I had a MILF angel to molest the bejesus out of me in high school.

http://i.imgur.com/U4YEgNU.jpg

Wood.

Reminds me of my friends mom who I banged a few times

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:50

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Two Finger posted:

yeah my parents are both well into their 60s

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:54

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Godholio posted:

Whenever agechat comes up, most who reply are in their 20s. That puts most of their parents in their 40s or early 50s.

Its cool that your mom had you when she was 15, but most of us have parents in their 50s at least. Probably older. GiP skews towards late 20s/early 30s imo.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:56

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Willy Pete posted:

Wood.

Reminds me of my friends mom who I jerked off about a few times

# ? Jun 21, 2015 21:56

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Godholio posted:

Whenever agechat comes up, most who reply are in their 20s. That puts most of their parents in their 40s or early 50s.

Like I said, my dad is 60 and I'm still in my twenties. GiP's median age has been creeping towards 30 for a while now.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:04

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

also i hope all you guys who could called your dads today

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:09

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Like I said, my dad is 60 and I'm still in my twenties. GiP's median age has been creeping towards 30 for a while now.

and what's even more hosed up is that as time goes on it's getting even closer

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:12

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Two Finger posted:

and what's even more hosed up is that as time goes on it's getting even closer

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:27

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Whip Slagcheek posted:

Its cool that your mom had you when she was 15, but most of us have parents in their 50s at least. Probably older. GiP skews towards late 20s/early 30s imo.

Not sure why you think I'm one of the youngins. My mom's older than that lady, and I've been in my 30s for a while.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:29

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Godholio posted:

Not sure why you think I'm one of the youngins. My mom's older than that lady, and I've been in my 30s for a while.

Actually I just wanted to point out that your mom is a whore.

Sorry Mama Godholio, I'm sure you're lovely.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:31

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Eh, she married an enlisted guy, so there's that.

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:32

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Godholio posted:

Eh, she married an enlisted guy, so there's that.

Your father isn't who you think it is

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:40

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Your father isn't who you think it is

# ? Jun 21, 2015 22:48

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Your father isn't who you think it is

I'd be ok with that. He's a complete dick and I haven't spoken to him in about a decade. But I've got some family resemblance going on, so alas...

# ? Jun 21, 2015 23:49

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

My dad's turning 80 in two years, please tell your parents to stop skateboarding on his sidewalk, tia

# ? Jun 22, 2015 00:01

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

was your dad a nazi?

i got sent to the principal's office in middle school for asking my german teacher that :godwin:

# ? Jun 22, 2015 00:06

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

was your dad a nazi?

i got sent to the principal's office in middle school for asking my german teacher that

he was born in 37 so its possible that they gave him an adorable little ss uniform and had him fire a panzerfaust at a is2 or something during the battle of berlin

# ? Jun 22, 2015 01:59

Professor Bling: Nov 12, 2008; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Pops Bling is a stubborn rear end in a top hat, and I'm my father's son, so we haven't really said much to each other since I joined the military. I'd have called him today, but he got his phone call on his birthday. rear end didn't call on mine so he doesn't get to hear from me until Christmas.

We're a very mature family.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 02:15

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

my dad's ex navy, so was his dad, and his dad, and his dad, and his dad. they traced it back about six generations. i can only imagine how disappointed they all are that i'm merchant navy

# ? Jun 22, 2015 02:33

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

My dad is 65 year old hillbilly from appalachia Virginia. He isn't dumb, just talks very simply and tends to repeat everything he says to anyone. Now that he's older his mountain drawl is worse but I still somehow know what he's saying. He likes drinking beer, fishing, fishing, and more fishing. He told me to not join the army because it sucked, and then said I told you so, should have joined the air force when I came home. A cool dad.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 02:35

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

that's, ummmm basically my dad, except he told me not to join the army because you get shot at and the navy would be a better option, except the nz navy is gay as all gently caress and i'd be better to go merchant navy. but fishing owns like hell, if nothing else he taught me to catch trout

# ? Jun 22, 2015 02:47

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Mike-o posted:

My dad is 65 year old hillbilly from appalachia Virginia. He isn't dumb, just talks very simply and tends to repeat everything he says to anyone. Now that he's older his mountain drawl is worse but I still somehow know what he's saying. He likes drinking beer, fishing, fishing, and more fishing. He told me to not join the army because it sucked, and then said I told you so, should have joined the air force when I came home. A cool dad.

Can I move in with your dad?

# ? Jun 22, 2015 02:50

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Grandpa AB #1 was some kind of radio operator in the Pacific theater.

Grandpa AB #2 served in a AAA battery...in Cape Cod.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:02

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Two Finger posted:

that's, ummmm basically my dad, except he told me not to join the army because you get shot at and the navy would be a better option, except the nz navy is gay as all gently caress and i'd be better to go merchant navy. but fishing owns like hell, if nothing else he taught me to catch trout

New Zealand has a navy? :troll:

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:09

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

yep, we have a fleet of like seven offshore patrol vessels armed with a devastating .30 cal each (might be a .50) and that's about it

it's weird how our SAS is one of the best in the world and the rest of our military is a loving joke

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:11

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

That's probably closer to the norm than you'd think.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:12

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Honestly all most nations need nowadays national security-wise.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:13

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Two Finger posted:

yep, we have a fleet of like seven offshore patrol vessels armed with a devastating .30 cal each (might be a .50) and that's about it

it's weird how our SAS is one of the best in the world and the rest of our military is a loving joke

your special forces could beat up our special forces

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:15

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

your special forces could beat up our special forces

do you know who this guy here is?
this guy:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willie_Apiata

he's the most recent VC recipient in the commonwealth, and a stone cold loving badass

who also told his son not to join the military because it's bullshit :lol:

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:18

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

quoting this poo poo because it deserves to be read:

quote:

Victoria Cross[edit]
Citation[edit]
Apiata (then a lance corporal) was part of a New Zealand Special Air Service (NZSAS) Troop in Afghanistan in 2004 that was attacked by about 20 enemy fighters while holed-up for the night in a rocky rural area. Enemy rocket propelled grenades destroyed one of the troop's vehicles and immobilised another. This was followed by sustained machine gun and automatic rifle fire from close range.

A grenade explosion blew Apiata off the bonnet of his vehicle, where he had been sleeping. Two other soldiers in or near the vehicle were wounded by shrapnel, one of them seriously (Corporal D). After finding cover, it was seen that Corporal D had life-threatening arterial bleeding and was deteriorating rapidly.

Apiata assumed command of the situation, deciding all three would need to rejoin the troop which was about 70 metres to the rear. Apiata decided his only option was to carry Corporal D to safety, and none of the three were hit during the retreat. After getting Corporal D to shelter, Apiata rejoined the firefight.

He became one of the very few living holders of the Victoria Cross.[12] In part the citation reads:[13]

"In total disregard of his own safety, Lance Corporal Apiata stood up and lifted his comrade bodily. He then carried him across the seventy metres of broken, rocky and fire swept ground, fully exposed in the glare of battle to heavy enemy fire and into the face of returning fire from the main Troop position. That neither he nor his colleague were hit is scarcely possible. Having delivered his wounded companion to relative shelter with the remainder of the patrol, Lance Corporal Apiata re-armed himself and rejoined the fight in counter-attack."

Three other SAS soldiers also received bravery awards for actions during the same mission. Two received the New Zealand Gallantry Decoration and one the New Zealand Gallantry Medal.[14]

I cannot tell you how funny it is that a Maori was sleeping on the front of his vehicle and got blown off it only to hulk the gently caress out.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:23

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

I'm just disappointed that Clarkson's "For Valor" came out before this series of events took place because goddamn did that guy deserve to be in it. Carrying a dude nearly 100m while under heavy fire? Legend.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:24

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Two Finger posted:

yep, we have a fleet of like seven offshore patrol vessels armed with a devastating .30 cal each (might be a .50) and that's about it

it's weird how our SAS is one of the best in the world and the rest of our military is a loving joke

Especially since you're on an island.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:27

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Where does a 200 pound Maori warrior sleep?

I don't know, but don't wake him prematurely.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:34

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

are you guys familiar with Charles Upham? Also a Kiwi, and the only, I say again, only living man in history to receive the VC twice
https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Charles_Upham
first award:

quote:

Citation

War Office, 14th October, 1941.

The KING has been graciously pleased to approve of awards of the Victoria Cross to the undermentioned: �

Second Lieutenant Charles Hazlitt Upham (8077), New Zealand Military Forces.

During the operations in Crete this officer performed a series of remarkable exploits, showing outstanding leadership, tactical skill and utter indifference to danger.
He commanded a forward platoon in the attack on Maleme on 22nd May and fought his way forward for over 3,000 yards unsupported by any other arms and against a defence strongly organised in depth. During this operation his platoon destroyed numerous enemy posts but on three occasions sections were temporarily held up.
In the first case, under a heavy fire from a machine gun nest he advanced to close quarters with pistol and grenades, so demoralizing the occupants that his section was able to "mop up" with ease.
Another of his sections was then held up by two machine guns in a house. He went in and placed a grenade through a window, destroying the crew of one machine gun and several others, the other machine gun being silenced by the fire of his sections.
In the third case he crawled to within 15 yards of an M.G. post and killed the gunners with a grenade.
When his Company withdrew from Maleme he helped to carry a wounded man out under fire, and together with another officer rallied more men together to carry other wounded men out.
He was then sent to bring in a company which had become isolated. With a Corporal he went through enemy territory over 600 yards, killing two Germans on the way, found the company, and brought it back to the Battalion's new position. But for this action it would have been completely cut off.
During the following two days his platoon occupied an exposed position on forward slopes and was continuously under fire. Second Lieutenant Upham was blown over by one mortar shell, and painfully wounded by a piece of shrapnel behind the left shoulder, by another. He disregarded this wound and remained on duty. He also received a bullet in the foot which he later removed in Egypt.
At Galatas on 25th May his platoon was heavily engaged and came under severe mortar and machine-gun fire. While his platoon stopped under cover of a ridge Second-Lieutenant Upham went forward, observed the enemy and brought the platoon forward when the Germans advanced. They killed over 40 with fire and grenades and forced the remainder to fall back.
When his platoon was ordered to retire he sent it back under the platoon Sergeant and he went back to warn other troops that they were being cut off. When he came out himself he was fired on by two Germans. He fell and shammed dead, then crawled into a position and having the use of only one arm rested his rifle in the fork of a tree and as the Germans came forward he killed them both. The second to fall actually hit the muzzle of the rifle as he fell.
On 30th May at Sphakia his platoon was ordered to deal with a party of the enemy which had advanced down a ravine to near Force Headquarters. Though in an exhausted condition he climbed the steep hill to the west of the ravine, placed his men in positions on the slope overlooking the ravine and himself went to the top with a Bren Gun and two riflemen. By clever tactics he induced the enemy party to expose itself and then at a range of 500 yards shot 22 and caused the remainder to disperse in panic.
During the whole of the operations he suffered from dysentery and was able to eat very little, in addition to being wounded and bruised.

He showed superb coolness, great skill and dash and complete disregard of danger. His conduct and leadership inspired his whole platoon to fight magnificently throughout, and in fact was an inspiration to the Battalion.
�London Gazette, 14 October 1941[8]

Second award

quote:

Citation

War Office, 26th September, 1945.

The KING has been graciously pleased to approve the award of a Bar to the VICTORIA CROSS to: �

Captain Charles Hazlitt UPHAM, V.C. (8077), New Zealand Military Forces.

Captain C. H. Upham, V.C., was commanding a Company of New Zealand troops in the Western Desert during the operations which culminated in the attack on El Ruweisat Ridge on the night of 14th�15th July, 1942.

In spite of being twice wounded, once when crossing open ground swept by enemy fire to inspect his forward sections guarding our mine-fields and again when he completely destroyed an entire truck load of German soldiers with hand grenades, Captain Upham insisted on remaining with his men to take part in the final assault.

During the opening stages of the attack on the ridge Captain Upham's Company formed part of the reserve battalion, but, when communications with the forward troops broke down and he was instructed to send up an officer to report on the progress of the attack, he went out himself armed with a Spandau gun and, after several sharp encounters with enemy machine gun posts, succeeded in bringing back the required information.

Just before dawn the reserve battalion was ordered forward, but, when it had almost reached its objective, very heavy fire was encountered from a strongly defended enemy locality, consisting of four machine gun posts and a number of tanks.

Captain Upham, without hesitation, at once led his Company in a determined attack on the two nearest strongpoints on the left flank of the sector. His voice could be heard above the din of battle cheering on his men and, in spite of the fierce resistance of the enemy and the heavy casualties on both sides, the objective was captured.

Captain Upham, during the engagement, himself destroyed a German tank and several guns and vehicles with grenades and although he was shot through the elbow by a machine gun bullet and had his arm broken, he went on again to a forward position and brought back some of his men who had become isolated. He continued to dominate the situation until his men had beaten off a violent enemy counter-attack and consolidated the vital position which they had won under his inspiring leadership.

Exhausted by pain from his wound and weak from loss of blood Captain Upham was then removed to the Regimental Aid Post but immediately his wound had been dressed he returned to his men, remaining with them all day long under heavy enemy artillery and mortar fire, until he was again severely wounded and being now unable to move fell into the hands of the enemy when, his gallant Company having been reduced to only six survivors, his position was finally overrun by superior enemy forces, in spite of the outstanding gallantry and magnificent leadership shown by Captain Upham.

The Victoria Cross was conferred on Captain Upham for conspicuous bravery during the operations in Crete in May, 1941, and the award was announced in the London Gazette dated 14th October, 1941.
�London Gazette, 26 September 1945[9]

The dude must have been completely insane. :nzsalute:

Comrade Blyatlov fucked around with this message at 03:41 on Jun 22, 2015

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:39

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

Where does a 200 pound Maori warrior sleep?

I don't know, but don't wake him prematurely.

200 pounds? Probably still in the womb.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:40

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Two Finger posted:

are you guys familiar with Charles Upham? Also a Kiwi, and the only, I say again, only living man in history to receive the VC twice
https://en.wikipedia.org/?title=Charles_Upham
first award:

Second award

The dude must have been completely insane. :nzsalute:

The funniest thing about this is that you guys still recognize the British monarchy as your head of government.

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:42

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 10:23

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Dude if you don't want a free EU passport I dunno what to tell you

# ? Jun 22, 2015 03:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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