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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

«‹›14088 »

Franco Potente: Jul 9, 2010

This is easily the saddest derail this thread has ever embarked upon.

To get back on track, have some articles detailing Cruz's idiotic strategy.

Franco Potente fucked around with this message at 12:44 on Jun 30, 2015

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:42

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 11:28

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Franco Potente posted:

This is easily the most pathetic derail this thread has ever embarked upon.

Maybe but how are people in nations that don't have royals gonna pass on the opportunity to point out how bugfuck stupid it is to still have anointed bloodlines that don't do anything?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:45

Obdicut: May 15, 2012; "What election?"

lmaoboy1998 posted:

Nah, I'm mimicking patterns of speech. It's an internet forum, that's the done thing. By contrast the American tendency to misuse words like 'roommate' and their failure to negate things properly extends into formal settings, which is more offensive to me.

You went from 0 to crashingly boring in like five posts, though the idea of someone actually being offended by a difference in spelling is kinda hilarious.

Franco Potente posted:

This is easily the most pathetic derail this thread has ever embarked upon.

To get back on track, have some video of Cruz's idiotic strategy.

I really can't figure out what effect the gay marriage thing will have on the GOP. I can't think but it will hurt them in the general, because the 'it's about religious freedom' argument is actually a very hard one to make against an existing right--positing it being religious freedom to take the right to marry away seems like a hard sell to me. Are they going to try to just FUD and slippery-slope it up about how the mormon church will have to gay marry people in the Temple, or is the gay-bashing alone going to be the strategy?

I've also started to think the GOP's presidential campaign is less designed to win the presidency, something they kind of know will be very, very hard, and more about keeping the house and senate.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:46

lmaoboy1998: Oct 23, 2013

The UK legalised gay marriage 5 years ago and our based Queen was a vocal supporter throughout the campaign to make that happen. Remind me how your head of state voted on DOMA again?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:52

Franco Potente: Jul 9, 2010

Obdicut posted:

I've also started to think the GOP's presidential campaign is less designed to win the presidency, something they kind of know will be very, very hard, and more about keeping the house and senate.

That's the thesis of Thomas Schaller's book The Stronghold: How Republicans Captured Congress but Surrendered the White House, which is a pretty thorough breakdown of their shift.

Thomas Schaller posted:

The GOP's transformation from a strong presidential party into a Congress-centered party began more than two decades ago, and the politician responsible for it is Newt Gingrich. It is Gingrich, not the lionized Ronald Reagan, who should be remembered as the most significant Republican politician of the late twentieth century .... the Georgia Speaker understood that the institutional imperatives of modern conservatism made control of Capitol Hill important, even if that meant surrendering the White House

I guess, in the end, Newt truly did become the leader ~~(possibly)~~ of the civilizing forces.

:newt:

:newt:

Franco Potente fucked around with this message at 13:01 on Jun 30, 2015

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:56

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

The queen is about as serious an individual as Donald Trump.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:57

Obdicut: May 15, 2012; "What election?"

Franco Potente posted:

That's the thesis of Thomas Schaller's book The Stronghold: How Republicans Captured Congress but Surrendered the White House, which is a pretty thorough breakdown of their shift.

I guess what I'm wondering is if this was actually a plan or just an accident. I feel like they were still trying super-hard to get Bush II, McCain, and Romney into the White House.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 12:59

William Bear: Oct 26, 2012; "That's what they all say!"

Chris Christie is expected to announce today. With his announcement, is it only Walker that is left to officially join, sometime in mid-July?

The NYTimes article is mostly about what a dick he is: Chris Christie�s Uphill Run for President Relies on His Brash Touch

quote:

LIVINGSTON, N.J. � Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey, whose meteoric rise as a national Republican in his first term was matched only by his spectacular loss of stature at home in his second, is set to enter the 2016 presidential race on Tuesday morning bearing little resemblance to the candidate he once expected to be.

The economic recovery he promised has turned into a cascade of ugly credit downgrades and anemic job growth. The state pension he vowed to fix has descended into a morass of missed payments and lawsuits. The administration he pledged would be a paragon of ethics has instead conspired to mire an entire town in traffic and the governor�s office in scandal.

Just three and a half years ago, Mr. Christie seemed so popular, compelling and formidable, such an antidote to all that ailed the Republican brand, that senior figures in the party pleaded with him to run for president as a substitute for their eventual nominee, Mitt Romney.

But today, a staggering 55 percent of Republican primary voters say that they cannot envision voting for Mr. Christie, according to an NBC/Wall Street Journal Poll, a remarkable deficit from which to embark on a national campaign. The only candidate less palatable: Donald J. Trump, the bombastic developer-turned-reality television star.

With two pillars of his presidential run � his record and his judgment � looking wobblier than ever, Mr. Christie must build a campaign around his most raw and prodigious asset: his personality.

It will be on vivid display on Tuesday, beginning at 11 a.m. in a high school gymnasium in Livingston, where Mr. Christie, 52, the son of a Sicilian mother and an Irish father, grew up and first tasted politics as president of his class.

Brash and big, by turns compassionate and cruel, Mr. Christie�s persona � a magnetic mix of quick-witted charm, insult-trading banter, vulnerability, empathy and effrontery � affords him, without question, his clearest advantage in a sprawling field of Republican rivals.

It comes together in a presence that Mr. Christie has sculpted, to a degree few politicians ever have, during a remarkable run of 137 town-hall-style meetings, from the working-class bungalow communities along the Jersey Shore to the wealthy suburbs of New York City. In highly ritualized, often raucous 90-minute question-and-answer sessions, he has deployed the full range of his skills, moods and whims.

He has berated public school teachers in loud tirades and crossed rope lines to give consoling hugs to people in grief. He has told disarmingly personal tales about his parents, his marriage and his weight, and denounced a young military veteran who had the temerity to challenge him, calling him �an idiot.�

�drat, man, I�m governor, could you just shut up for a second?� Mr. Christie yelled after the veteran left the room.

That combative charisma, said Brigid Harrison, a professor of political science at Montclair State University, �is not to be underestimated.�

It allowed him, in a state where the Legislature is dominated by Democrats, to overhaul New Jersey�s tenure system for public school teachers, adopt a cap on the rate of property tax growth and pass a �Dream Act� that grants in-state college tuition to the children of undocumented immigrants.

But Mr. Christie has done little to lift New Jersey�s economy out of its doldrums: Unemployment remains higher than the national average; economic growth lags most of the country; pension deficits, which led to repeated credit downgrades, remain startlingly deep; and major portions of the state�s transportation infrastructure are in tatters.

Then there is the recent traffic scandal, which led to indictments. An aide and appointees were accused of a conspiracy in shutting several lanes of traffic approaching the George Washington Bridge to punish the mayor of Fort Lee for his failure to endorse the governor�s re-election. Mr. Christie has denied any wrongdoing and disavowed any knowledge of the retribution scheme.

�He does not have an enviable record of governance,� Ms. Harrison said. �He does not have a whole lot he can point to as successes in the policy realm. But what he does have is an ability to spin both his record and his political reality in such a masterful way that it means he remains a contender.�

It is perhaps no wonder that Mr. Christie plans to put the town hall meeting at the center of his candidacy, and center his candidacy in a state, New Hampshire, that is famed for its own town hall meetings.

He is forgoing the customary tour of early-voting states that usually follows a formal announcement, aides said. Instead, Mr. Christie will plant himself in New Hampshire for a week, holding one town hall after another, starting Tuesday evening.

Such single-mindedness belies the serious and stubborn vulnerabilities of his campaign.

As a centrist candidate from the Northeast, he would have an exceedingly narrow path to the Republican presidential nomination under the best circumstances. But circumstances are anything but optimal for him: He faces a wide field of candidates, including several who are better financed and more beloved by mainstream donors (Jeb Bush), hold greater appeal to conservative voters who dominate the primary process (Scott Walker), are agile public speakers with persuasive biographies (Marco Rubio), or are better liked by Republican voters (all of the above).

At his announcement, Mr. Christie will seek a political rebirth, as he has before, by relying on his powers as a teller, and mythologizer, of his own story.

Using notes and a hand-held microphone, advisers say, he will invoke his grandmother�s arduous commute to work at the Internal Revenue Service, which required two bus rides, as he tries to relate to middle-class voters. He will depict his governorship as a noble battle to take on intractable problems and daunting crises. And he will cast himself as the rare politician willing to deliver unpleasant truths about the excesses of American life and the sacrifices required to rein them in. (His campaign slogan: �Telling it like it is.�)

The question for Mr. Christie, after a bruising year of watching his story rewritten by others, may be whether Republican voters, who can choose from among a long and intriguing list of fresher faces, will look past his own excesses, and give him a fighting chance to sell himself anew.

So tune in at 11 EST. I doubt it will be as funny as Trump's announcement, but I hope he'll get in a shouting match with a terminally ill orphan or something before he drops out.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:03

Deptfordx: Dec 23, 2013

mlmp08 posted:

Maybe but how are people in nations that don't have royals gonna pass on the opportunity to point out how bugfuck stupid it is to still have anointed bloodlines that don't do anything?

Don't do anything?

Whose sacred blood line keeps the Wild Hunt in check and stops the Lady of Winter sending her Redcaps to steal the Sun every Winter Equinox? :britain:

:britain:

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:04

Franco Potente: Jul 9, 2010

Obdicut posted:

I guess what I'm wondering is if this was actually a plan or just an accident. I feel like they were still trying super-hard to get Bush II, McCain, and Romney into the White House.

I should add that it's not like they aren't actively trying to win the presidency: it's obvious that they want it and that controlling as many branches as possible would be valuable for progressing their aims. It's just that it's become much easier to still advance some of those aims while only controlling half of the legislative branch rather than the executive. Basically, the White House would be a useful bonus, but it is easiest for Republicans to own the House (and, to a lesser extent, the Senate) and that's where their power currently emanates from.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:04

Feather: Mar 1, 2003; Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

William Bear posted:

Chris Christie is expected to announce today.

Using notes and a hand-held microphone, advisers say, he will invoke his grandmother�s arduous commute to work at the Internal Revenue Service,

Wait, a member of his family worked for the most evil government organ in the country and he still is allowed to be a Republican?

Also, I almost want to start referring to the lardass as "His Brash Touch." Kinda like "his royal highness" except euphemistically descriptive of his dickish personality.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:20

Useless Shotgun: Nov 5, 2010; Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man: no time to talk.

So who do you think Christie will endorse after he doesn't win the New Hampshire primary?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:28

Obdicut: May 15, 2012; "What election?"

Useless Shotgun posted:

So who do you think Christie will endorse after he doesn't win the New Hampshire primary?

This is something I've totally lost track of. Who of this clownshow are allies with whom?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:30

woke wedding drone: Jun 1, 2003; by exmarx; Fun Shoe

Miltank posted:

The queen is about as serious an individual as Donald Trump.

If the gilded human pets of a failed empire were allowed a tenth the latitude of Trump in public appearances, no doubt their utterances would be orders of magnitude more humiliating. Prince Philip, for example, is basically Trump with epaulets.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:34

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

That face

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:35

Riptor: Apr 13, 2003; here's to feelin' good all the time

lmaoboy1998 posted:

The UK legalised gay marriage 5 years ago

Lots of married gay couples in Belfast, are there?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:36

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

William Bear posted:

Chris Christie is expected to announce today. With his announcement, is it only Walker that is left to officially join, sometime in mid-July?

And Kasich on July 21, but that's it. That's the field.

(Assuming Bob Ehrlich and Jim Gilmore don't actually announce campaigns.)

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:39

Alec Bald Snatch: Sep 12, 2012; by exmarx

Franco Potente posted:

To get back on track, have some articles detailing Cruz's idiotic strategy.

"They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound."

"Are my methods unsound?"

"I don't see any method at all, sir."

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:42

Sulphagnist: Oct 10, 2006; WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

Joementum posted:

And Kasich on July 21, but that's it. That's the field.

(Assuming Bob Ehrlich and Jim Gilmore don't actually announce campaigns.)

I just figured out why Bob Ehrlich sounds like a political operator working for the Committee to Re-Elect the President.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:43

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Riptor posted:

Lots of married gay couples in Belfast, are there?

Dark Papal Magicks have weakened the queen's influence to the west.

Trump has Google, so get some class and shut up.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/615674101110337536

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:47

FuriousxGeorge: Aug 8, 2007; We've been the best team all year.

They're just finding out.

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

That face

I try not to judge people on appearance...but I have never seen this man and not thought he looks like a preacher who is secretly the antichrist from a low budget TV movie. I'm pretty sure this alone is enough to make sure he will never be President.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:49

Gin and Juche: Apr 3, 2008; The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU

mlmp08 posted:

Dark Papal Magicks have weakened the queen's influence to the west.

Trump has Google, so get some class and shut up.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/615674101110337536

Is this the actual real D. T. or is this the parody account?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:49

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Gravel Gravy posted:

Is this the actual real D. T. or is this the parody account?

As the name implies, @realDonaldTrump is the real Donald Trump, though you can be forgiven for assuming it's a parody.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:51

orange sky: May 7, 2007

Ahaha it's a photo of a screen.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:51

Gin and Juche: Apr 3, 2008; The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU

Joementum posted:

As the name implies, @realDonaldTrump is the real Donald Trump, though you can be forgiven for assuming it's a parody.

Between Donald Trump on Twitter and Slim Shady why is everybody just imitating?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:54

Gin and Juche: Apr 3, 2008; The Highest Judge of Paradise
Shiki Eiki
YAMAXANADU

Edit: Quote=/edit

orange sky posted:

Ahaha it's a photo of a screen.

Yup it is amazing that when you type a certain phrase that Google comes back with pages that best match the phrase. Technology yo.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:55

Alec Bald Snatch: Sep 12, 2012; by exmarx

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

That face

Which one A. afarensis or the Grinch whose heart grew three sizes that day?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:55

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

mlmp08 posted:

Dark Papal Magicks have weakened the queen's influence to the west.

Trump has Google, so get some class and shut up.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/615674101110337536

Good to know he is a fan of Coulter

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:56

woke wedding drone: Jun 1, 2003; by exmarx; Fun Shoe

Donald Trump took a picture of his monitor with his phone. Donald Trump googled "illegal alien rapist," or had an aide do so on his behalf.

You may chide, but four years ago Donald Trump was communicating with Salon by way of printed articles annotated in Sharpie.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:08

Mr Ice Cream Glove: Apr 22, 2007

Chris Christie is announcing at 11 and immediately leaving the state

quote:

He wasn't kidding. Hours after Christie gives a speech Tuesday at Livingston High School to announce he's running for president, he'll be in New Hampshire hosting a town hall.

Hale said the optics of jetting out of New Jersey without delay after the Tuesday 11 a.m. announcement are also telling. Christie has at least three days of events in New Hampshire set.

http://www.app.com/story/news/polit...asket/29429861/

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:11

Chrpno: Apr 17, 2006

Gravel Gravy posted:

Edit: Quote=/edit

Yup it is amazing that when you type a certain phrase that Google comes back with pages that best match the phrase. Technology yo.

Let's check this out.....

http://i.imgur.com/9bOkKf5.jpg

It's amazing! You type what you think into google and they confirm it!

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:12

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

SedanChair posted:

Donald Trump took a picture of his monitor with his phone. Donald Trump googled "illegal alien rapist," or had an aide do so on his behalf.

You may chide, but four years ago Donald Trump was communicating with Salon by way of printed articles annotated in Sharpie.

Also he actually clicked on that first link 4 days ago.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:16

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

lmaoboy1998 posted:

I would call that person my flatmate, but I suppose Americans don't refer to apartments as 'flats'. Luckily the word 'house' can have a more abstract meaning (a dwelling of any type), so you still have a much better option than referring to a whole apartment as a room.

Come on America. You can speak English properly, I know you can.

Gotta say I agree with you on this one. I live in an apartment with someone else and we have separate rooms, but American English doesn't have a good word for that. Flatmate works, but then you're relying on your audience having a modicum of knowledge of other English speaking countries, which isn't too likely if English is their second language.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:22

Funosaurus: May 28, 2009

Chrpno posted:

Let's check this out.....

http://i.imgur.com/9bOkKf5.jpg

It's amazing! You type what you think into google and they confirm it!

Love the tabs. Good attention to detail.

edit: Trump also has photobooth on his dock. The man is clueless.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:22

Gyges: Aug 4, 2004; NOW NO ONE
RECOGNIZE HULK

Trump is the best. Only Trump would follow up on his message of Mexican Rapists Immigrants by pointing out he said there were a couple good ones while also tripling down on the epidemic of Mexican rape infiltrators.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:24

Bicyclops: Aug 27, 2004

mlmp08 posted:

Also he actually clicked on that first link 4 days ago.

That's my favorite detail, like he's not just Googled it, he tried the "I'm feeling lucky" button first!

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:26

Caerulius: Jun 23, 2007; This was a waste of $5.

Dirk the Average posted:

Gotta say I agree with you on this one. I live in an apartment with someone else and we have separate rooms, but American English doesn't have a good word for that. Flatmate works, but then you're relying on your audience having a modicum of knowledge of other English speaking countries, which isn't too likely if English is their second language.

My advanced human brain is capable of parsing the word roommate to refer to someone sharing a bedroom with you when the context is a college dormitory, and for it also to refer to someone sharing a apartment or house with you when the context is anything but a college dormitory. But maybe that's just me.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:42

lmaoboy1998: Oct 23, 2013

Caerulius posted:

My advanced human brain is capable of parsing the word roommate to refer to someone sharing a bedroom with you when the context is a college dormitory, and for it also to refer to someone sharing a apartment or house with you when the context is anything but a college dormitory. But maybe that's just me.

Putting aside the fact that people share rooms in contexts other than college, if someone at college says "He's my roommate", how do you know whether they share an apartment or a room? Not so clever now are you.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:49

Warcabbit: Apr 26, 2008; Wedge Regret

Deptfordx posted:

Don't do anything?

Whose sacred blood line keeps the Wild Hunt in check and stops the Lady of Winter sending her Redcaps to steal the Sun every Winter Equinox?

Mine, actually.
:eire: (aw, emoticon doesn't exist. How sad.)

Warcabbit fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Jun 30, 2015

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:54

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 11:28

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Franco Potente posted:

This is easily the saddest derail this thread has ever embarked upon.

It may have been a derail, but it was certainly more fun than 30 pages of debating whether Hillary is an actual murderer or not.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 15:01

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