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Mr. Horrible posted:You're misremembering. In Enterprise the old codger that comes on the ship to run his experiments literally laughs over the idea that the transported you isn't the real you. Yeah let's take the word of the ageing teleportation specialist who killed his own son trying to master teleportation and then lied to the crew of Earth's only good startship to try and fix his mistake about the dangers of teleportation.
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# ? Jul 4, 2015 22:11 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 11:16 |
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well either everyone believes him well into the TNG era or their lifetimes of debauched holodeck murderfucking have made them so empty inside that they voluntarily step onto the transporter and get atomized not sure which is more likely tbh
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 00:27 |
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I wonder if anyone used the transporter as a defense argument. "It was not I that grabbed Troi's titties in the turbolift and shouted HONK HONK, it was a collection of atoms and molecules in the same shape as myself. I appeared for the first time on the transporter pad in transporter room 4." "My birth room was transporter pad 4. Miles O'Brien was my birth father".
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 00:47 |
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Mr. Horrible posted:well either everyone believes him well into the TNG era or their lifetimes of debauched holodeck murderfucking have made them so empty inside that they voluntarily step onto the transporter and get atomized Well the point is literally everyone who has ever been through one would swear blind that they were definetly the same person who stepped onto the transporter. However, if they were a clone programmed to think they were the person who stepped onto the transporter that is of course what they would do.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 00:49 |
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happyhippy posted:I wonder if anyone used the transporter as a defense argument. "Would you convict a man for a crime committed by his perfectly identical clone prior to their deatomisation? The man who stepped onto the teleporter was disintegrated. He no longer exists. Instead here I stand, made of identical atoms BUT I am not the same man. Am I to be punished for my previous life's crimes? " " Yes. We find you guilty of rape. You're sentenced to 50 years in space prison"
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 00:51 |
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Also I reckon at least 80% of the Voyager crew shared Tom Paris' top secret Janeway programme and every time they were pissed off by her they would use the programme and have super angry BDSM sex with her. It's the only way they kept poo poo under control on the ship. Literally everyone knew about it apart from Janeway. Even Tuvok had a go.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 00:53 |
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Kitchner posted:Also I reckon at least 80% of the Voyager crew shared Tom Paris' top secret Janeway programme and every time they were pissed off by her they would use the programme and have super angry BDSM sex with her. lol at you if you think Janeway never hosed herself
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 02:31 |
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can't say I blame her, it's slim pickings on the SS V'ger
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 02:55 |
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Angela Christine posted:lol at you if you think Janeway never hosed herself I much prefer the idea that when she's giving her briefings she doesn't realise everyone is just thinking "Yeah I've seen you naked", and she walks past Tom as he's leaving the holodeck and she's like "Did you have fun in there Tom?" "Uhhh yeah captain, it was a uhh vigorous workout" You know, it's possible to do this by just saying "Computer, generate a holographic image of catherine janeway. Now, remove the clothes".
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 03:21 |
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"Computer, create a holodeck character capable of satisfying Captain Janeway sexually." Next episode Voyager arrives at earth, commanded by a hologram Riker wearing the doctors hologram mcguffin.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 04:04 |
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 04:27 |
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 04:39 |
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 04:53 |
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counterfeitsaint posted:"Computer, create a holodeck character capable of satisfying Captain Janeway sexually." if by "arrives at earth" you mean "explodes in a cataclysm of screaming and bodily fluids"
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 04:55 |
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counterfeitsaint posted:"Computer, create a holodeck character capable of satisfying Captain Janeway sexually." Riker posed the same question to a transporter, and got Thomas.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 08:23 |
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Kitchner posted:Also I reckon at least 80% of the Voyager crew shared Tom Paris' top secret Janeway programme and every time they were pissed off by her they would use the programme and have super angry BDSM sex with her. I read a fanfic once where 7 of 9 found Belanna's secret holodeck program where she and Janeway had BDSM sex with a hologram of Seven
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 09:09 |
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computer create a hologram prototype of an FTL engine that could get us home in a year
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 09:40 |
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Kitchner posted:You know, it's possible to do this by just saying "Computer, generate a holographic image of catherine janeway. Now, remove the clothes". What a way to find out the computer has been keeping a daily log of everyones pube-sculpting decisions
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 10:14 |
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shadow puppet of a posted:What a way to find out the computer has been keeping a daily log of everyones pube-sculpting decisions Computer. *beep* What are the top three pubic hairstyle choices aboard Voyager? In order of most popular to least popular: a Brazilian wax, a landing strip, and clean shaven. Computer. Download a holographic representation of all female crewmembers with those pubic hairstyles. Now, present their vaginas here in front of me as flashlights. *beep* Oh poo poo I'm needed on the bridge. Computer, save programme as Harry Kim 29.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 13:22 |
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Also I was watching "Data's Day" which is a weird episode told from Data's point of view all day. The best thing that came out of that episode is that I realise the Enterprise has a loving barber shop on it. Not a hologram programme for a barber shop, an actual barber shop. I did some rough maths and if we assume everyone gets a haircut every 3 weeks, they need to perform about 18,000 haircuts a year. That means on board the enterprise there are about 50 haircuts needed every day. Assuming that is the only barber shop they probably need three barbers to work 365 days a year cutting hair. My question is: 1) Why the gently caress doesn't everyone just get their haircut in the holodeck by saying "Computer. Recreate holographic imagine of Earth's best hair stylist" instead of getting some bald blue dude to do it for you. 2) what the gently caress happens when you're attacked by the romulans every week and members of your crew are halfway through their haircut? Why couldn't Riker run up to the bridge once with only half his hair cut. 3) what the gently caress do the barbers get out of this? Being in the enterprise is super dangerous. You never get to go on away parties or even do anything interesting, and there weren't even windows in the barber shop so you knew it was in space. Like what happens when enemy boarding parties storm the ship and you're like "No please! Spare me! I'm just a barber!" as some Klingon dude stabs you to death.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 13:34 |
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loving Mot the Barber keeps that ship together man, he appears a few times. There's an episode where the entire crew leaves the ship for space reasons, but Mot comes back to get his saddle (every serious riding has their own saddle) and faces off against Tuvok and a band of pirates with a crossbow.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 13:58 |
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counterfeitsaint posted:loving Mot the Barber keeps that ship together man, he appears a few times. There's an episode where the entire crew leaves the ship for space reasons, but Mot comes back to get his saddle (every serious riding has their own saddle) and faces off against Tuvok and a band of pirates with a crossbow. There's also like 176 episodes where Mot is the commander of the Enterprise, it's weird
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 14:18 |
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Moridin920 posted:computer create a hologram prototype of an FTL engine that could get us home in a year Ship explodes when its turned on. Prototype does not mean 100% safe or working. Then again the computer could logically come up with stasis machines for the crew, freeze them until they get back. The barber shop was the 10 forward for men only. No Troi's allowed basically.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 14:19 |
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Kitchner posted:3) what the gently caress do the barbers get out of this? Being in the enterprise is super dangerous. You never get to go on away parties or even do anything interesting, and there weren't even windows in the barber shop so you knew it was in space. They have families on the ship, so the barbers, waiters and elementary school teachers could be married to actual star fleet officers. Or they could be wannabes who desperately wanted to be in star fleet, but couldn't pass the competitive star fleet academy entrance exam.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 17:36 |
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 17:50 |
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Kitchner posted:Also I was watching "Data's Day" which is a weird episode told from Data's point of view all day. Have you seen Klingon hairstyles? "I'm just a barber!" Is probably just going to make them madder.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 18:00 |
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Mot is working for the betterment of Bolian-kind by learning everything that he can about hair. He will take this knowledge back to his homeworld so they can develop wig technology.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 18:03 |
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Starfleet is a federation jobs program for everybody, barbers included. Some people have an innate need for chaos that is incompatible with just chilling planetside, smoking weed, and having a good life with your friends and family. These are the people who volunteer to zoom around space getting mind raped by energy being on a weekly basis.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 18:04 |
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https://twitter.com/RikerGoogling
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 18:36 |
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Since you guys are going on about holoperversions, it seems a good time to repost this classic: Blue Stripe: The Life and Times of a Holodeck Janitor
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 18:36 |
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273423-X posted:Mot is working for the betterment of Bolian-kind by learning everything that he can about hair. He will take this knowledge back to his homeworld so they can develop wig technology. I an imagine this being an episode like that Morn episode from DS9 where you find out this is the King of Bolia or an infamous Bolian bank robber who is laying low with a false ID in starfleet. Seriously though, who the gently caress signs up to be a barber on the most frequently endangered ship in the galaxy?
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 19:15 |
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Angela Christine posted:They have families on the ship, so the barbers, waiters and elementary school teachers could be married to actual star fleet officers. Or they could be wannabes who desperately wanted to be in star fleet, but couldn't pass the competitive star fleet academy entrance exam. Still why would you let some dweeb who couldn't even get into the same academy as Whil Weaton cut your hair when you can use a hologram of earth's greatest hair stylist. He Data could probably just study the world's greatest barbers and cut your hair with android speed and precision. Even more so, why isn't there a haircut phaser setting? "Men, set your phasers to short back and sides".
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 19:18 |
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Also I have a confession to make. In the episode where the crew goes crazy because of the sick vulcan dude there's a scene where beverly slaps Wesley. I legit played that slap about 10 times over as I think Whil Weaton is a cool guy but has a really slappable face.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 19:20 |
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Kitchner posted:Also I have a confession to make. In the episode where the crew goes crazy because of the sick vulcan dude there's a scene where beverly slaps Wesley.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 19:44 |
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Sadly that gif is slightly too fast to enjoy it and you really need the sound of him being slapped. It did cheer me up though.
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 22:13 |
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Computer! reduce playback speed! beep boop
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# ? Jul 5, 2015 22:17 |
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Lord of Pie posted:Computer! reduce playback speed! Best Star Trek moment of all time
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 01:48 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3fWy9UMDHs I am literally a child.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 03:22 |
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Was there an enterprise episode called Hoshis Island? Cuz if not there should have been.
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 05:18 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 11:16 |
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Jfc enterprise is loving terrible
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# ? Jul 6, 2015 05:37 |