GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

They're all one step away from crazy pigeon lady in home alone 2

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:05

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:23

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Untagged posted:

"Would".

yeah i'm seeing about 6 major red flags in just that one pic

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:17

Whip Slagcheek: Sep 21, 2008; Finally
The Gasoline And Dynamite
Will Light The Sky
For The Night

Two Finger posted:

yeah i'm seeing about 6 major red flags in just that one pic

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:27

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013

Man.

I'm just gonna cop to this.

90% of my personal beliefs and societal views are on the wrong side of history.

I used to be okay with this, then the company I was keeping in my handbasket to hell got really bad.

Now I just sorta pretend to have progressive views and opinions, just so that my social circle doesnt require poorly xeroxing newsletters to leave on windshields. I seriously espouse progressive views while having to pack all my hatred and loathing for this goddamn nation of soddomites and neoliberal retards far back in the closet where the Gay's had been Anne Franking until they finally got accepted in TYOOL 2015 by some rogue revisionist extremist justices on our once Supreme Court.

I draw the line with the transsexual problem, and believe there's an acceptable, definitive if you will, solution to them. And nobody's gotta get their cocks cut off or or take veterinary equine hormones to feel like a real woman or man.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:37

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013

Also:

Whip Slagcheek posted:

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:38

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

Whip Slagcheek posted:

"Still would"

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:40

LtCol J. Krusinski: May 7, 2013

SMDH.

Though most of us enlisted, and put our dicks in far more precarious situations.. So.. :shrug:

I mean yes I've absolutely hosed far worse. But their pigeon wasn't staring at me with its dead bird eyes and clawing a tree branch like its shawshank while I was pounding away disinterestedly from behind.

But something tells me 'ole polly there would. And that's some serious devaluation, coupled with all of the patently obvious crazy and being an unpaid volunteer moderator of an online pet sub forum that's second and third banana fiddle to the likes of ADTRW and BSS.

These things count, boys.

And remember, flys spread diseases, do keep yours closed!

:tipshat:

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:46

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

KirbyKhan posted:

"Still would"

# ? Jul 13, 2015 04:48

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Bird people are the Jews of the pet owner world, FYI. And ferret
Owners? Gypsies.

HTH.

I had CRM refresher one lovely day. The instructor showed up about 5 minutes late, and he'd obviously just been crying his loving eyes out. His parakeet had died at like age 5. Apparently these things usually live more like 10-15 years. They often let it roam around the house, when he got home from work it would literally fly to greet him, etc. Dude was wrecked over the loss.

Edit: I work with a self-described "ferret lady." She has 6 or 7 of them, they all have names, and they don't all get along. She has to rotate them around so they can interact with the "correct" ones. Some of them have health problems. This is a great source of stress and workday discussion.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Jul 13, 2015

# ? Jul 13, 2015 05:01

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

KirbyKhan posted:

"Still would"

# ? Jul 13, 2015 05:05

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Godholio posted:

Edit: I work with a self-described "ferret lady." She has 6 or 7 of them, they all have names, and they don't all get along. She has to rotate them around so they can interact with the "correct" ones. Some of them have health problems. This is a great source of stress and workday discussion.

It's the same deal when people have multiple aggressive dogs like pit bulls. Have to rotate between crating them and letting one out and about. I don't know why they put themselves through that much stress.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 05:08

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

It sounds like her ferrets have formed cliques. I honestly thought she was babbling about junior high girls (granddaughters?) at first, but it's just her goddamned ferrets. She has pictures of them hanging up.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 05:11

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

i had a ferret for a year, was a chill rear end pet. she just slept in her cage all day then id get home from work and let her roam the house for a few hours before putting her back in the cage and going to bed. she even killed a pigeon one day i was so fuckin proud of her. rip starscream

# ? Jul 13, 2015 05:20

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 06:03

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

Zeris posted:

lmbo

# ? Jul 13, 2015 06:05

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

Zeris posted:

loving lol

# ? Jul 13, 2015 08:33

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

drat it mike-o I thought I told you to stop robbing Ihops.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 10:27

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

MaxPowers posted:

drat it mike-o I thought I told you to stop robbing Ihops.

Ugh. Humanity why.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 10:51

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

Should have just shot the man, Im sure it would have been less trouble. Then you could also say you killed a man over twelve dollars!

# ? Jul 13, 2015 11:59

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Whip Slagcheek posted:

almost. the nose stud was the other one not the eyes. not a piercing man at all

# ? Jul 13, 2015 12:37

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Godholio posted:

I had CRM refresher one lovely day. The instructor showed up about 5 minutes late, and he'd obviously just been crying his loving eyes out. His parakeet had died at like age 5. Apparently these things usually live more like 10-15 years. They often let it roam around the house, when he got home from work it would literally fly to greet him, etc. Dude was wrecked over the loss.

Edit: I work with a self-described "ferret lady." She has 6 or 7 of them, they all have names, and they don't all get along. She has to rotate them around so they can interact with the "correct" ones. Some of them have health problems. This is a great source of stress and workday discussion.

i once dated a girl who kept rats
never date a girl who has rats

i was with her for four years :negative:

maybe that's why i ran away to sea

# ? Jul 13, 2015 12:39

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

MaxPowers posted:

drat it mike-o I thought I told you to stop robbing Ihops.

Holy poo poo :lol:

It's like a stack of dominoes made of bad decisions from beginning to end.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 14:08

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Well this got real weird real fast.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 14:35

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The probably crazy pets mod reminds me of an ex, up to and including the pet obsession

# ? Jul 13, 2015 15:12

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Dead Reckoning posted:

Well this got real weird real fast.

Also creepy.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 15:39

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

https://www.southwest.com/html/customer-service/extra-seat/index-pol.html

quote:

Customers of Size Policy
Guidelines for Customers of Size
Customers who encroach upon any part of the neighboring seat(s) may proactively purchase the needed number of seats prior to travel in order to ensure the additional seat(s) is available. The armrest is considered to be the definitive boundary between seats; width between the armrests measures 17 inches. The purchase of additional seats serves as a notification to Southwest of a special seating need, and allows us to adequately plan for the number of seats that will be occupied on the aircraft. In turn, this helps to ensure we can accommodate all Customers on the flight/aircraft for which they purchased a ticket and avoid asking Customers to relinquish their seats for an unplanned accommodation. Most importantly, it ensures that all Customers onboard have access to safe and comfortable seating. You may contact us for a refund of the cost of additional seating after travel. Customers of size who prefer not to purchase an additional seat in advance have the option of purchasing just one seat and then discussing their seating needs with the Customer Service Agent at their departure gate. If it is determined that a second (or third) seat is needed, they will be accommodated with a complimentary additional seat(s).

For more information, please refer to our Customer of Size Policy Q&A.

If I need a seatbelt extension, do I need to have a second seat?
Our policy does not focus on weight, and the seatbelt extension is not the determining factor. We use the ability to lower the armrests as the gauge, as the armrests are truly the definitive boundary between each seat. Only one seatbelt extension may be used and only seatbelt extensions provided by Southwest Airlines are approved for use onboard our aircraft.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 15:59

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

MaxPowers posted:

drat it mike-o I thought I told you to stop robbing Ihops.

A man grabs your arm results in assault, but pulling a handgun gets a pass.

Yea.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 16:35

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

holocaust bloopers posted:

A man grabs your arm results in assault, but pulling a handgun gets a pass.

Yea.

stdh.txt

# ? Jul 13, 2015 16:50

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

stdh.txt

dumbass shouldve demanded the corporate number before it got to the point of a manager grabbing him. if he wouldnt have pulled his piece he could be looking at an open and shut out of court settlement instead of jail time

# ? Jul 13, 2015 18:36

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Or just leave your id as collateral. That's what I do if I forget my card.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 19:09

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

The point of concealed carry is to save your rear end in a life or death situation. This loving dude just wanted to draw on somebody, if it even happened.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:02

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Mike-o posted:

The point of concealed carry is to save your rear end in a life or death situation. This loving dude just wanted to draw on somebody, if it even happened.

Thats honestly more than half of the people who conceal or open carry. They wanna be Batman in cargo shorts and a ill-fitting polo shirt

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:09

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

I know, that's why I keep my gun hobby to myself in public. So many retards.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:15

USMC503: Jan 15, 2012; For satisfactory performance while under the effects of hostile enemy alcohol.

Considering the level of intelligence there, I'm willing to bet there are some falsehoods and stretched truths in that post.

Namely, I'd be willing to bet that him saying that they told him the machine was broken really meant he tried to use a handful of credit cards that were all maxed out and got declined so he got indignant and blamed them. I wouldn't be surprised if they told him he COULD go get cash if he left his ID behind and the words, "Why the hell do you need to see my ID?" came out of his mouth.

That being said, the dude pulling a gun is exactly why retail employees generally won't try to stop you from snatching a bunch of stuff and taking off out of the store. The liability of having one if their employees shot/stabbed/otherwise injured is too great.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:33

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

can we go back to talking about the birdmod instead of the gun idiot

wait

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:48

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

USMC503 posted:

I wouldn't be surprised if they told him he COULD go get cash if he left his ID behind and the words, "Why the hell do you need to see my ID?" came out of his mouth.

IN THE STATE OF WASHINGTON I DONT HAVE TO PROVIDE ID IF ASKED! WHAT DO WE LIVE IN, NAZI AMERICA?!?!?!?! SHOW ME THE WARRANT OFFICER!

Man I wanna watch me some cops now.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:49

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Oh man the WHY YOU NEED TO SEE MY ID guys. I was behind an older guy in line at a safeway. They asked him if he had a club card to save like 10 bucks on all the stuff he was buying. He didn't have one, cue him flipping out about invasion of privacy when told he could sign up for one with his ID in less than a minute. I just hand them mine so he'll shut up, and he thanks me after babbling on about the government (and safeway) trying to track everybody (yeah, they already are, but I doubt him signing up for a club card is going to make the NSA give a poo poo about him). I walk out after getting my stuff and he's the dude that has a pen and clipboard trying to get everyone to sign some petition for the state legislature, getting pissed off when people didn't want to sign whatever bullshit he was on about.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:51

MaxPowers: Dec 29, 2004

Stand next to that dude with a petition to remove the american flag, because it supported slavery at one time. Its the new hottness to piss off college students.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:53

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

Birdlady chat:

Are birdladies crazier than catladies? I've never met one.

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:53

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 22:23

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Mike-o posted:

Birdlady chat:

Are birdladies crazier than catladies? I've never met one.

Yes.

Veterinarians HATE bird and ferret owners

# ? Jul 13, 2015 21:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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