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Han Solomon
Mar 7, 2015

BOUND
AND
GAGGED
Equip shield and helmet to skelefriend. Attach testicle for aesthetic purposes.

Save dapper clothes for the inevitable rain o' bitches that crushing elf skull brings.

Take wizard clothing from wizard tower for future use in scamming/misbehaving/general mischief.

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Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Definitely save the clothes for later.

I say we grab the Boots of Elvish Walking. The steel toes and elf-piercing spiked treads will be handy if we encounter treacherous terrain, and when I was 13 and had the supplement I remember thinking they looked cool as hell.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. No, stick with Defense
2. The Thermos of Endless (Scalding) Hot Soup?
3. Hell yes, equip skeleton friend.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Epic High Five posted:

Deadwood has lots of swearing and she swears a lot. Also, she seems like a character right off the show.

I vote we:

Go with the helmet and Shield. Don't want to gently caress up our good clothes, and it's important to not underestimate the ability of that helmet to throw people off their stride

Equip the skeleton for sure

Dapper trousers are probably unlikely in a remote tower like this and those were my first choice, so we should try to snag some steel-toed boots for Elf kicking, or some sort of ranged weapon (pike or bow+arrow) for Elf stabbing from horseback

fake edit - I vote we name the skeleton James Boned or McCoy

This. Hopefully we can get some Boots of Elvish Stomping for crushing some elf skulls beneath our feet. We'll need them for when we get our revenge on Jeff, American History X style

vrath
Jul 6, 2015

Buy 1 get 1 bottle of Lysol FREE!

Speleothing posted:

Literally no downside to the Skeleton Friend, I like James Boned for the name.

Need to save the fancy clothes for the ball, so helmet and shield

Is there a loot card for some gauntlets? I seem to remember being (literally) disarmed is possible in at least one of these books.
The pole sounds good too.

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005

vrath posted:

The pole sounds good too.

He's waiting for us at some tavern in bilgeton

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


1. wear sword and shield, put outfit on skeleton so he gets an extra fist
2. take the wizard's bed as a trophy

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Looks like we're wearing the armour and keeping the skeleton (which will be named James Boned or Ronaldo Q. Jimbabwe.)

Dreggon posted:

1. wear sword and shield, put outfit on skeleton so he gets an extra fist

If you don't wear the clothes you can bet Skeleton Friend will be trying on your stuff in the bag.

As for the item:

Boots of Elvish Stomping, ahead with 3 votes
2 for the gauntlets
2 for an enchanted Polack
2 for the Robe and Wizard Hat


Also possible I guess:

The Wizard's bed
The Necromancer's undies
Bow of Burning Gold w. Arrows of Desire (ranged weapon)
An Bottomless Thermos of Scalding Soup
A Rusty Scythe of Scything

The fight coming up is tough so maybe go with something that will help there unless you're real confident. I'll check back again in a few hours and update.

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 16:14 on Jul 15, 2015

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
1. Equip James Boned
2. Loot us some elf kicking boots
3. stick with the dick helm and shield/sword

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Gilganixon posted:


2 for an enchanted Polack


I think it's supposed to mean like a poleaxe. Pollaxe? All the spellings confused me back when I first read it, so I never ended up looting one.

Araenna
Dec 27, 2012




Lipstick Apathy
Can the boots be used to stomp other creatures?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Araenna posted:

Can the boots be used to stomp other creatures?

We could potentially double stomp the double-elf. Like a drop kick I suppose. If we ever run into him.

Garth_Marenghi
Nov 7, 2011

Araenna posted:

Can the boots be used to stomp other creatures?

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Boots enchanted to be especially lethal when kicking the poo poo out of elves seems like EXACTLY the sort of thing Aggie would have around

As for name obvious I vote James Boned, especially since he automatically puts on the fanciest thing he can find and also stabs people


Fantastic

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe
Honestly, we don't know what type of enchantment has been applied to the Polack, and knowing this game series and its proclivity for word play I'd say this is a bad choice. Consider this: our good, useful friend Karol is referred to as a "Pole" while the bad (perhaps Elvish Designed) enchanted Polack is referenced by a racial slur. So basically we're gonna have a big dumb magical bumpkin constantly loving our poo poo up.

Beware elvish tricks is all I'm saying. It'd be just like them to pre-emptively gently caress up our campaign against them with a lovely prank

assemblyrequired
Jul 14, 2014

Let's keep the armor on
Screw elves, we don't need their dirty boots
I vote we either take the gauntlets or the endless soup to feed us / pour all over enemies and burn their flesh (if we fight more skellies we're boned)
Speaking of which I vote for James Boned as the name

Araenna
Dec 27, 2012




Lipstick Apathy
I vote for the soup as well. Pretty sure throwing hot soup at elves will gently caress them up. Don't they have extra delicate skin?

almost1337
Jun 14, 2013

The male likpatons turn around the nucleus formed of female boobons and neutral bolsterons
+1 for bottomless soup - seems like it'd be good for effort regen in a pinch.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
Stomp some elves

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004

Claven666 posted:

Beware elvish tricks is all I'm saying. It'd be just like them to pre-emptively gently caress up our campaign against them with a lovely prank

Just watch, the Boots of Elvish Stomping will make us stomp things in an Elvish manner!

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Yeah, changing my vote from elf stomping boots to bottomless hot soup

Just soooooo much more fun we can have with unlimited hot liquid

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe

Modus Pwnens posted:

Just watch, the Boots of Elvish Stomping will make us stomp things in an Elvish manner!

i'll take "shittily" for 400, alex

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

It's not that we will stomp things like elves. These boots are made for stomping....elves. And that's what they'll do.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you


This rules and I want to make an avatar out of it.

Araenna posted:

I vote for the soup as well. Pretty sure throwing hot soup at elves will gently caress them up. Don't they have extra delicate skin?

They say they do, but they don't really. It's just an excuse to get out of having to work on hot days.

Anyway, to the update:

Skeleton Friend has been christened James Boned:



I'm not going to draw on the last Skeleton Friend card in existence so I put it in a card sleeve first.

We picked the boots over soup:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULAAuq-kyRA



These will definitely help with mashing elves among other things.

If you're curious the bottomless flask of scalding soup :



It has situational uses but at this point in the game food rations aren't much of an issue any more (and since the soup is scalding hot you can't eat it anyway). I think we made the right choice.

Moving on to 66:



Sorry about the scan quality as usual. It looks like we're about to get jumped from both sides of the road. You can give an order to the skeletons and take a single action before all hell breaks loose.

1. What's the order?

2. What is the half-elf doing?

Adventure sheet:

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jul 17, 2015

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
1. Skeletons should do this
2. We should let out a ferocious battle cry and throw the pixie body parts at the elves to show we mean business

comedyblissoption
Mar 15, 2006

start using your skeleton friend's ribcage as a xylophone and get the caravan to start dancing

comedyblissoption fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Jul 16, 2015

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

1. Warn the skeletons and prepare to fight.
2. Put our new boots to use. By stomping on elves.

Araenna
Dec 27, 2012




Lipstick Apathy
1 Shout out a battle cry
2 Stay back and see how things are going in case you need to cut and run.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then watch.

BlueBlazer
Apr 1, 2010

Yeap

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
1)


2) Stick to the plan. Stay out of sight until the pivotal moment, when you leap out and bugger the ploughing shits right up the arse - without tallow. Figuratively speaking.

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then get in there and do some kicking.

These boots are ridiculously useful against elves and we should take advantage of that

Esper
Nov 23, 2004
Killed a baboon, once.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then get in there and do some kicking.

I'm feeling this. Let's do it.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then get in there and do some kicking.

SaltyJesus
Jun 2, 2011

Arf!

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then get in there and do some kicking.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

Cry out: "Rejoice brothers, for you will be freed from the tyranny of the flesh!" :black101:

vrath
Jul 6, 2015

Buy 1 get 1 bottle of Lysol FREE!

SaltyJesus posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

And then get in there and do some kicking.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Kicking is better than watching, yes.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Tell the skeletons their brethren are trapped within the fleshy confines of the elves.

Then get in there and kick some rear end, those boots hunger for elf blood

What, do these elves think they're better than you or something?!?

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Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Also, the last thing that the last living elf sees should be me pissing on and then cutting down a tree

Goddamn elves and their lectures on not cutting down trees and blahblahblah here we've brought a bunch of useless poo poo aren't you just soooo in awe

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