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BlueBlazer
Apr 1, 2010

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Cry out: "Rejoice brothers, for you will be freed from the tyranny of the flesh!" :black101:

Free the skeleton s from their fleshy elf prisons. Only after snorting the rest of the pixies. poo poo got awesome when we had to deal with a pile of corpses last time.

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Carnival of Shrews
Mar 27, 2013

You're not David Attenborough
Elves claim to be in tune with nature, but in reality, there's a reason why cavalry regiments are mainly human, with the occasional feisty halfling: elven mounts are usually stolen.

We have six horses, a valuable prize, and most of our skellies are farm workers. If we're not careful, the elves will quickly cut the reins (and our own throat), later discover our bonus hoard of coins and leaves, and use our hapless passengers for skittle games.

I suggest feigning terror, scattering some of Aggie's generous payment in the road together with all the elven leaves – their own currency – and seeing if the elves will start killing each other over it. We can then try kicking them to death, backed up by the three skeletons that are actually armed, and any of the worker skeletons fired up to wield their shovels.

(NB There's a reason Aggie is so hoarse: skeletons don't have good hearing and are not over-bright. Any complex or lengthy exhortation will probably be lost on them.)

Random Hajile
Aug 25, 2003

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER
WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE ELVES
USE YOUR BOOTS TO KICK THEIR ASSES
IF YOU WANT THEIR LOOT FOR YOURSELVES


:black101:

Carnival of Shrews
Mar 27, 2013

You're not David Attenborough

Gilganixon posted:


Sorry about the scan quality as usual. It looks like we're about to get jumped from both sides of the road. You can give an order to the skeletons and take a single action before all hell breaks loose.

1. What's the order?

2. What is the half-elf doing?

Adventure sheet:

Order: Tell our friend James Boned to relay '.- - - .- -.-. -.- ' in Skeleto-Morse, boinged out on his ribcage.

Our action: Scatter all elf leaf currency, and about 100 guilders of Aggie's stash, to the winds, and scream for mercy as convincingly as we can.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

UPDATE

Carnival of Shrews posted:

Elves claim to be in tune with nature, but in reality, there's a reason why cavalry regiments are mainly human, with the occasional feisty halfling: elven mounts are usually stolen.

We have six horses, a valuable prize, and most of our skellies are farm workers. If we're not careful, the elves will quickly cut the reins (and our own throat), later discover our bonus hoard of coins and leaves, and use our hapless passengers for skittle games.

I suggest feigning terror, scattering some of Aggie's generous payment in the road together with all the elven leaves – their own currency – and seeing if the elves will start killing each other over it. We can then try kicking them to death, backed up by the three skeletons that are actually armed, and any of the worker skeletons fired up to wield their shovels.

(NB There's a reason Aggie is so hoarse: skeletons don't have good hearing and are not over-bright. Any complex or lengthy exhortation will probably be lost on them.)

All of this is more or less correct although no one seriously believes that elves have any link with nature, they're just monumentally lazy. Feigning surrender is an option under the defensive selection below, (as is the skeleton dance), but the thread went for:

Random Hajile posted:

SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER
WHEN YOU SEE THE WHITE ELVES
USE YOUR BOOTS TO KICK THEIR ASSES
IF YOU WANT THEIR LOOT FOR YOURSELVES


:black101:



We go on the offensive with a rousing speech (202):



And as we've decided to start using the boots (89):



The elf attack unfolds at a certain pace, as do our allies. We've seized the initiative and rushed ahead so now we're in a tight spot. Since the caravan is undefended and there are more elves coming from the other side it might be a good idea to blitz as quickly as possible, however it could get us killed or at least put our half-elf in danger. This time though we have a few options - we can use one of the listed items (in most cases this will destroy the item) or we can attempt to fight these elves until the skeletons finish off their current fight. If we decide to fight it will use the rules for multiple combatants which means that we pick a target each round, and that target is the only one that will be damaged if we win our attack - the other two will simply not damage us.

so it's
Pixie Bits
or
Condiments
or
Fight

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Jul 17, 2015

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Deploy the Pixie Bits.

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp
I have no idea what we'd do with the condiment packets but I want to find out!

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

forgot to mention that if you recall exactly what those options did it'd be helpful as I have three different versions of this book now and they all say something different (they're all pretty destructive though).

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Jul 17, 2015

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN
Use the Soup

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Pixie Bits all the way!

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp

Deadmeat5150 posted:

Use the Soup

We didn't take the soup, you ploughing idiot

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

Condiment Packets

vrath
Jul 6, 2015

Buy 1 get 1 bottle of Lysol FREE!

Solice Kirsk posted:

Pixie Bits all the way!

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Use the condiment packets

Elves are a bunch of worthless stoners anyways, the pixie bits would probably do nothing they haven't already done to themselves.

Xelkelvos
Dec 19, 2012
If I remember correctly, one of the options had you flinging it into the eyes of the elves and them reeling back from whatever it was that was thrown at them. Another one did a similar thing, but instead lures out some kind of flying creature that was attracted to it.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
Sniff Pixie Bits.

Modus Pwnens
Dec 29, 2004
We don't need any of that garbage, we've got our boots. Keep on stompin'.

BadgerSeat
Feb 28, 2006

Would you like to see where I keep my severed heads?
Condiments!

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Even split on condiments vs pixie dust. Next vote decides it and I'll get to scanning.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Gilganixon posted:

Even split on condiments vs pixie dust. Next vote decides it and I'll get to scanning.

CONDIMENTS

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Dienes posted:

CONDIMENTS

Update shortly.

E: we might need this where we're going:

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 17:10 on Jul 17, 2015

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

We use up our condiments, and this happens:



I roll 1 for the shield saving throw, but we needed 4+. We get an injury. The ants take care of the rest, though.

Two elves down, one to go. Since it's a simple fight I'll just run through it:

I put in 6 effort, which means we need a 5 or 6 to hit on either of our two FISTS. I don't get it in our first round - we lose 3 effort as we're fighting an elf while wearing elf-stomping boots, plus another effort for carrying that shield.
I try again with 6 effort and we hit the elf. With only 1 toughness he goes down. 4 effort lost again for the same reasons as last round. The entire fight cost 8 effort.
. Outcome: we win.

Some crappy rolls this time, hopefully our luck improves because the boss of this area is a bastard.

Anyway, we can hear fighting at the caravan and there are at least some more elves ahead.
What should we do?

Adventure sheet:

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe

the_steve posted:

Use the condiment packets

Elves are a bunch of worthless stoners anyways, the pixie bits would probably do nothing they haven't already done to themselves.

true, elves are degenerate scum and spend most days in a stupor, but the one thing they usually can't get a hold of are pixie bits. they're like elf opium, including the weird hallucination style daydreams. we can then slaughter them or pass them by while they're gettin down

edit: gently caress. i dunno, use the pixie bits on the other elves

Radical and BADical! fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jul 17, 2015

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Head to the caravan

I think we'll be glad that we saved the pixie bits for later.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005

stomp a mud hole in this elf

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
Attempt to sneak into the fray and backstab a few Jeffselves

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Monkey Fracas posted:

Attempt to sneak into the fray and backstab a few Jeffselves

This reminds me: did this book have the item combination mechanic? Or was that in later books? I could have sworn I read something about combining a knife with boots if you had the item cards.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

the_steve posted:

This reminds me: did this book have the item combination mechanic? Or was that in later books? I could have sworn I read something about combining a knife with boots if you had the item cards.

Yes, it does but it's a bit more limited than later books in the series. If there's a loot card for the combination you can do it, but you might wind up with something worthless and lose two items. Let me know if you see something you want combined.

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jul 17, 2015

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Hm, I'm not seeing anything. I know there was something cool with the soup, the oyster and the codpiece, but it was literally only useful for one obscure option.
I thought we had a dagger for some reason, that's why I was thinking about knifeboots.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

the dagger-codpiece gets a bit disturbing in the Seven Sins expansion

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



Let's get back to the caravan and defend it from there, maybe going slightly ahead to sniff out traps.

Our task is protecting the caravan first and foremost, as fun as going rogue and elf stomping can be we should probably not incur the wrath of Aggie

I remember my first playthrough I was hoping there was a Rod of Ant Control or something similar because, depending on the choices you make, the game can become a game of cat and mouse trying to avoid swarms of murderous ants.

In other news, since the ants in my back yard stole my last copy of SotBE, I've since caught them stealing scraps of paper from my printer's feed tray and glue stick ends. I think they may be trying to repair the book :tinfoil: What it is with this book and ants? At least I'm not that guy on the usenet boards back in the day who got a copy only to discover the cover was slick with some sort of noxious chemical that ended up being ant pheromone, at least according to the coroner's report

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Pixie Bits will take too long to kick in. Kick their asses!

That's what I get for not hitting refresh.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:

Epic High Five posted:

Let's get back to the caravan and defend it from there, maybe going slightly ahead to sniff out traps.

Our task is protecting the caravan first and foremost, as fun as going rogue and elf stomping can be we should probably not incur the wrath of Aggie

I remember my first playthrough I was hoping there was a Rod of Ant Control or something similar because, depending on the choices you make, the game can become a game of cat and mouse trying to avoid swarms of murderous ants.

In other news, since the ants in my back yard stole my last copy of SotBE, I've since caught them stealing scraps of paper from my printer's feed tray and glue stick ends. I think they may be trying to repair the book :tinfoil: What it is with this book and ants? At least I'm not that guy on the usenet boards back in the day who got a copy only to discover the cover was slick with some sort of noxious chemical that ended up being ant pheromone, at least according to the coroner's report

This and combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece

almost1337
Jun 14, 2013

The male likpatons turn around the nucleus formed of female boobons and neutral bolsterons
We need to take the high ground, both literally by climbing on top of the caravan wagons and also by being better than our shiftless half-kin.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Outrail posted:

combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece

+1 to this.

vrath
Jul 6, 2015

Buy 1 get 1 bottle of Lysol FREE!

the_steve posted:

Head to the caravan

I think we'll be glad that we saved the pixie bits for later.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
1. Get thee to thy caravan.
2. Codpiece up thyne fancy pants!

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


just checked trophies, did we forget to grab the underwear of the bat's wife?

Dr Cheeto
Mar 2, 2013
Wretched Harp

Solice Kirsk posted:

1. Get thee to thy caravan.
2. Codpiece up thyne fancy pants!


Sayme

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Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax
Fun Shoe

Outrail posted:

This and combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece

let's jareth the poo poo out of the elf vanguard

Radical and BADical! fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Jul 18, 2015

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