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Yeah, we've been blue-balling that thing for too bloody long. EAT THE TESTICLE.
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Jul 20, 2015 13:57
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:45 |
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Engage testicle
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Jul 20, 2015 15:26
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I got balls, all right.
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Jul 20, 2015 15:55
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8===> ^ these
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Jul 20, 2015 16:13
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don't eat the testicle it's like two days old by now use it! use it for evil!
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Jul 20, 2015 17:03
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We've come too far and seen too much to give up now and are full of an undeserved confidence! fight the goddamn bastard alternately, if it's possible, gotta lotta balls
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Jul 20, 2015 17:44
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It takes balls to win a fight. I say we do both.
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Jul 20, 2015 17:59
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Don't eat the testicle - punch a hole in it, and slurp up the contents like you're drinking delicious coconut milk.
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Jul 20, 2015 18:23
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Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:Don't eat the testicle - punch a hole in it, and slurp up the contents like you're drinking delicious coconut milk. Stick a straw in it
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Jul 20, 2015 20:03
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got a lot Of Balls
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Jul 20, 2015 20:24
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Testicle time has arrived. Eat that fucker and eliminate the half bastard.
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Jul 20, 2015 20:45
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We must have that bastard's bastard sword for our own bastard adventures of bastardry
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Jul 20, 2015 21:08
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Monkey Fracas posted:We must have that bastard's bastard sword for our own bastard adventures of bastardry Combine both hand-and-a-half swords and make a three-hander.
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Jul 20, 2015 21:18
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Monkey Fracas posted:We must have that bastard's bastard sword for our own bastard adventures of bastardry you sniffed out how to get the titular sword before I got to scan that part in  Anyway, Balls (I didn't expect anyone to get it tbh but there must be some 2FF veterans around). Will have the update tonight.
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Jul 20, 2015 22:46
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No-one mentioned the Morrowind reference yet?
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Jul 20, 2015 22:53
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Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:No-one mentioned the Morrowind reference yet? St. Juib protect us
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Jul 20, 2015 23:08
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> Research the AIDS virus and how to get it in your system.
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Jul 20, 2015 23:27
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Update: You noticed what the book was doing and finally decided to eat some balls. We flip forward to 171:  This spares us a really tough fight and gains us a permanent increase in Elan along with the Manly Hairs item:  More junk, but it can't be gotten rid of (it grows back) We need to decide what to do next: 1) What to do about our beaten adversary 2) Should we continue on to Bilgeton with the caravan or do something else? I was trying to dig up the balls-eating animation but ran out of time, hopefully will be able to find it. Adventure sheet:  --------------------------------------- For those of you who wanted to fight, I ran the battle out. The first couple of times he hit and killed us in the first round. The third time I tried we hit him in the first round by some luck, got hit in the second and saved, and got hit in the last and failed to save. Basically I couldn't get to three rounds. I think this guy is the toughest in the game by far and if you want to fight him you need to start with 9 Elan and try not to lose any throughout the adventure, and of course try not to be too wounded. E: You may have noticed - the book is really starting to fall apart now. I left it near a lamp and the grease that had soaked into the pages caught fire. We're nearly at the end so hopefully it holds together until we finish this LP. Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 02:04 on Jul 22, 2015 |
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Jul 21, 2015 01:07
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Shouldn't our Adventure sheet portrait have a bit more 'stash? 1) Loot and shave our bested opponent and send him bare and buck naked back to Aggie. She'll find something to do with him. 2) Onto Bilgeton! We can double-cross the skeletons there and make some mad coin selling whatever it was were were guarding.
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Jul 21, 2015 01:13
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Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. Then onward to Bilgeton!
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Jul 21, 2015 01:29
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Outrail posted:Shouldn't our Adventure sheet portrait have a bit more 'stash? This Also reading the testicle description made me retch
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Jul 21, 2015 01:32
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on.
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Jul 21, 2015 01:54
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Outrail posted:Shouldn't our Adventure sheet portrait have a bit more 'stash? This plus aren't elf ears known to bring good luck? Let's make a necklace out of the ears of the fallen elves!
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Jul 21, 2015 02:16
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Outrail posted:Shouldn't our Adventure sheet portrait have a bit more 'stash?
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Jul 21, 2015 06:20
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. 
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Jul 21, 2015 10:11
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on.
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Jul 21, 2015 10:27
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As sensible as it would be to drag the half elf back to Aggie to be flensed, we cannot not create a skeleton war drum chariot
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Jul 21, 2015 10:29
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Mr. Gibbycrumbles posted:No-one mentioned the Morrowind reference yet? People keep saying this kind of thing but this book predates the Elder Scrolls by something like 15 years...either it's a coincidence or Bethesda referenced this book. E: Aggie can probably see the battle from her house (you are literally in her driveway), if you just leave the corpses she'll send someone to get them.
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Jul 21, 2015 10:43
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on.
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Jul 21, 2015 10:50
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on.
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Jul 21, 2015 10:52
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. This a thousand times.
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Jul 21, 2015 11:03
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. You can't beat perfection! Gilganixon posted:People keep saying this kind of thing but this book predates the Elder Scrolls by something like 15 years...either it's a coincidence or Bethesda referenced this book. It's almost certainly a nod to the series by Bethesda. It also explains why they never fixed the Cliff Racers because nothing was broken with them. One of my friends who was more into CYOA books than I was brought this up at the time, but I didn't know what he was talking about. Kinda neat to finally see it though.
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Jul 21, 2015 13:19
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. Looks as though we'll be doing this, it's only possible if you have one of the items that establishes you as a psychopath, which of course we have. I'll check again later on and post the update (and an ending we're missing out on)
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Jul 21, 2015 18:15
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Mojo Threepwood posted:Let's chain the prisoner to the front of the lead wagon, and use our medical skills to set up an ongoing blood transfusion between him and the skeleton driver. Harvest elf ribcages and make them into a xylophone for a skeleton to play at the front of a wagon, and stretch elf pelts over spare barrels to make a drum set for another skeleton wagon to jam on. Just to make sure this happens.
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Jul 21, 2015 19:14
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> Try approaching him offering your 5 of your clinky shiny unlawfully accured jew gold for sucking his purestrain AIDS out of his weiner
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Jul 21, 2015 21:52
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Using the manly power of the testicle run back to the tower and spend another hour with Aggie before the powers wear off. Also tell the skeletons to chill out and wait for you to come back.
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Jul 22, 2015 01:00
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Update: Big update this time. Scanner made it nearly through to the end! Got the page scanned in at last:  Most people want to finish him, but since there's an ending right here if we spare him let's look at that too. Turning to 78 for now:  But yeah, we're not doing that. Turning to 299:  We get the elf's sword and a pamphlet about a certain milkman:   This sword is better than the one we already have. Some people have already asked to combine them, which is a possibility. And since y'all asked for it, on to probably the most repulsive entry in the entire game book:  We're now approaching Bilgeton, a walled city that will probably have a guard that may or may not be looking for us depending on whether anyone saw us committing our various crimes or not. Anyway, decisions. 1. What extra item did we loot from the dead elves? 2. What's the plan as we approach Bilgeton? Adventure sheet: 
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Jul 22, 2015 02:16
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1: Those Elves made some Skull Bongo drums we can use 2: Pretend we're being attacked by skeletons (look what they did to my companion! Oh look he just died!) and enlist the aid of the town guards in protecting our goods. Combine the swords!
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Jul 22, 2015 02:56
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Yessss we got the good ending AND still get to have one of the numerous blood and terrible endings. There is nothing I love in this world more than murdering elves and driving to extinction is fantastic. Shame that in the canon storyline his blood is being sprayed all over a skeleton but ehhh, maybe we'll do a little light reading and ask the half-elf just why the hell he had a milkman pamphlet on his person when the horses stop to water? 1) WE SHOULD MAKE A BELT OUT OF ELF HEADS I HATE drat ELVES SO MUCH 2) Approach as normal. We're legitimate now that we're riding with Aggie's crew! Should earn us some cred, then let's find her contact and trade some skeletons for the rest of the cash
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Jul 22, 2015 03:05
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combine the swords Approach casual. We are legit and delivering goods. Let's not fuckup a good thing.
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Jul 22, 2015 06:14
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