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Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack


that was cool, thanks for posting

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Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

Get rid of all the random intermediate sprints between two huge climbs imo

Withnail
Feb 11, 2004
I think they should forget about total time and move to a points based system. Seriously.

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Withnail posted:

I think they should forget about total time and move to a points based system. Seriously.

yeah why would we want the winner of a race to be the fastest finisher

King Hong Kong
Nov 6, 2009

For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

The ASO should ban the use of radio radios and power meters.

The UCI should change its points structure to favor stage victories instead of top 20 overall finishes.

Since all of this has a 0% chance of happening, let's also transplant the brains of Merckx and Hinault into every rider.

Macasaurus
Oct 12, 2012

PizzaTheHutt posted:

any one see that crazy bitch in a bead sheet in the middle of the road ?

https://video.twimg.com/ext_tw_video/625360083283767296/pu/vid/640x360/YvooOHYlGyBmf5wK.webm

Knitting Beetles
Feb 4, 2006

Fallen Rib
Maybe WADA can develop a proper test for AICAR and expose skeleton frauds.

Withnail
Feb 11, 2004
Women's race sounded kind of exciting. Holy DNF -- http://velonews.competitor.com/2015/07/news/results-2015-la-course-by-le-tour-de-france_379747

c0ldfuse
Jun 18, 2004

The pursuit of excellence.
Each team gets one race radio link to whichever rider they want.

Drop team sizes by 1-2, add additional team.

ITTs/TTTs all under 25km.

Something with time bonuses but I'm not certain what to increase desires to break away and separately win stage.

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me
Congratulations to Sebastien Chavanel, the Lantern Rouge. Peloton has a nice piece about it and you should go read it.

It was an ok Tour, I've seen worse.

Jamsque
May 31, 2009
It was a good tour this year, OK maybe the GC was a bit cut and dried but it got interesting down towards the end there and the racing on the individual stages was great.

Hopefully this thread will go back to being actually readable now that the Tour and the annual invasion of people who just want to yell about doping is done with.

James Garfield
May 5, 2012
Am I a manipulative abuser in real life, or do I just roleplay one on the Internet for fun? You decide!
Skytrain and Froome will never be very exciting but outside of the GC race it was a good tour, and even that wasn't just Skytrain shutting everything down like in 2013. Too bad Martin crashed though :(
I don't know why anyone expects the grand tours to always be the best races, go watch the classics instead.

DEAD MAN'S SHOE
Nov 23, 2003

We will become evil and the stars will come alive

Jamsque posted:

It was a good tour this year, OK maybe the GC was a bit cut and dried but it got interesting down towards the end there and the racing on the individual stages was great.

Hopefully this thread will go back to being actually readable now that the Tour and the annual invasion of people who just want to yell about doping is done with.

"Feel free to not read any posts" - a human being

he1ixx
Aug 23, 2007

still bad at video games

Xir posted:

I hope Froome is 100% clean and goes on and wins a bunch more races. I'd like these relatively terrible sports fans to be permanently frustrated by him. A lot of examples of how not to act being shown in these stages by these fans. And others, for that matter.

Some pretty terrible stuff in this thread too, really. (African Aids Cum it must be terrible to be you. gently caress, dude...) Spitting on athletes (or anyone) is pretty low behavior. What consistently baffles me about the Froome haters is that when Quintana goes cruising up a mountain the comments are "he's smiling! isn't that cute." Rather than "must be the dope". Same with ... well anyone but Froome really. I'm not even a Froome fan. Just find the double standards crazy-making. I just kept waiting and waiting for doped up Froomie to just blast up the mountain, dodging spit and urine, and catch Nairo on Alpe d'Huez. Somehow it didn't happen. Man, that unknown state of the art doping program isn't worth the money they are supposedly putting into it.

On a good note, Sagan was pretty drat entertaining in this year's tour. There were some boring stages but I have watched Sagan's descent a few times and it was the highlight for me. Loved it. I was stunned by how badly Barguil takes corners, knocking riders down cliffs and such. That was really really bad and luckily looked much worse than it was. I was disgusted by Nibali attacking the yellow jersey when Froome had the stone in his brake. Not surprised, mind you, given that Nibali looks like a class-A rear end in a top hat, but still disgusted. Overall I was entertained by the Tour this year.

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Jamsque posted:

Hopefully this thread will go back to being actually readable now that the Tour and the annual invasion of people who just want to yell about doping is done with.
/

Box Hill Strangler
Jun 27, 2007

Frozen peas are on special at Woolies! Bargain!
best time of the year.... 342 days till we need to worry about froome winning something.

idk how you can disagree with the fact this race was dull as piss. there was ZERO chance of an actual race after the first mountain stage. wth is that if not boring. same for green. individual stages might have been ok but the RACE sucked.

Box Hill Strangler fucked around with this message at 06:47 on Jul 27, 2015

DEAD MAN'S SHOE
Nov 23, 2003

We will become evil and the stars will come alive

this but re: doping :ironicat:

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

he1ixx posted:

Some pretty terrible stuff in this thread too, really. (African Aids Cum it must be terrible to be you. gently caress, dude...) Spitting on athletes (or anyone) is pretty low behavior. What consistently baffles me about the Froome haters is that when Quintana goes cruising up a mountain the comments are "he's smiling! isn't that cute." Rather than "must be the dope". Same with ... well anyone but Froome really. I'm not even a Froome fan. Just find the double standards crazy-making. I just kept waiting and waiting for doped up Froomie to just blast up the mountain, dodging spit and urine, and catch Nairo on Alpe d'Huez. Somehow it didn't happen. Man, that unknown state of the art doping program isn't worth the money they are supposedly putting into it.

On a good note, Sagan was pretty drat entertaining in this year's tour. There were some boring stages but I have watched Sagan's descent a few times and it was the highlight for me. Loved it. I was stunned by how badly Barguil takes corners, knocking riders down cliffs and such. That was really really bad and luckily looked much worse than it was. I was disgusted by Nibali attacking the yellow jersey when Froome had the stone in his brake. Not surprised, mind you, given that Nibali looks like a class-A rear end in a top hat, but still disgusted. Overall I was entertained by the Tour this year.

See you next July!

Knitting Beetles
Feb 4, 2006

Fallen Rib

he1ixx posted:

Some pretty terrible stuff in this thread too, really. (African Aids Cum it must be terrible to be you. gently caress, dude...) Spitting on athletes (or anyone) is pretty low behavior. What consistently baffles me about the Froome haters is that when Quintana goes cruising up a mountain the comments are "he's smiling! isn't that cute." Rather than "must be the dope". Same with ... well anyone but Froome really. I'm not even a Froome fan. Just find the double standards crazy-making. I just kept waiting and waiting for doped up Froomie to just blast up the mountain, dodging spit and urine, and catch Nairo on Alpe d'Huez. Somehow it didn't happen. Man, that unknown state of the art doping program isn't worth the money they are supposedly putting into it.

On a good note, Sagan was pretty drat entertaining in this year's tour. There were some boring stages but I have watched Sagan's descent a few times and it was the highlight for me. Loved it. I was stunned by how badly Barguil takes corners, knocking riders down cliffs and such. That was really really bad and luckily looked much worse than it was. I was disgusted by Nibali attacking the yellow jersey when Froome had the stone in his brake. Not surprised, mind you, given that Nibali looks like a class-A rear end in a top hat, but still disgusted. Overall I was entertained by the Tour this year.

/signed

Why would you hate Froome? Or better yet, why would you hate Team Sky? They're a fresh, clean wind in cycling and when they started didn't even allow anyone in who was ever implicated with doping. They really hate doping that much. Later they did allow those sinners to repent and join Team Sky but only if they swore to stop cheating for real. Maybe they are a little jealous of the British approach to cycling, focusing on a good diet and high tech sleeping technology instead of shooting up.

Anyway, agreed it's a pity Froome couldn't teach that coked up dwarf a lesson on the Huez. Granted he was ill but still disappointing he only beat 8 out of 9 of the other GC contenders.

Gibbo
Sep 13, 2008

"yes James. Remove that from my presence. It... Offends me" *sips overpriced wine*

he1ixx posted:

Some pretty terrible stuff in this thread too, really. (African Aids Cum it must be terrible to be you. gently caress, dude...) Spitting on athletes (or anyone) is pretty low behavior. What consistently baffles me about the Froome haters is that when Quintana goes cruising up a mountain the comments are "he's smiling! isn't that cute." Rather than "must be the dope". Same with ... well anyone but Froome really. I'm not even a Froome fan. Just find the double standards crazy-making. I just kept waiting and waiting for doped up Froomie to just blast up the mountain, dodging spit and urine, and catch Nairo on Alpe d'Huez. Somehow it didn't happen. Man, that unknown state of the art doping program isn't worth the money they are supposedly putting into it.

On a good note, Sagan was pretty drat entertaining in this year's tour. There were some boring stages but I have watched Sagan's descent a few times and it was the highlight for me. Loved it. I was stunned by how badly Barguil takes corners, knocking riders down cliffs and such. That was really really bad and luckily looked much worse than it was. I was disgusted by Nibali attacking the yellow jersey when Froome had the stone in his brake. Not surprised, mind you, given that Nibali looks like a class-A rear end in a top hat, but still disgusted. Overall I was entertained by the Tour this year.

You just bought your first bibs three months ago. Odds are this is what, your first, maybe second year of caring about bikes?

Go meditate on your catgirl for a while and come back once you've been on the hood of a car and realize that everyone is on drugs, including 50% of the people you (probably don't) ride with because they're faster than you.


Quintana smiling is exactly why people don't think he's walking piece of poo poo. Is he on drugs? Probably, but he represents the sport better than a walking skeleton glued to a power meter.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
People in glass houses mate.

CAT INTERCEPTOR
Nov 9, 2004

Basically a male Margaret Thatcher

Gibbo posted:

and realize that everyone is on drugs, including 50% of the people you (probably don't) ride with because they're faster than you.



GG that is such a depressing truth. Doping is just a fact of life in all sports, Team Sky just right now happen to do it better than anyone in cycling.

Xabi
Jan 21, 2006

Inventor of the Marmite pasty
Can't wait till Froome reinvents himself again and comes back as a Paris-Roubaix contender.

DEAD MAN'S SHOE
Nov 23, 2003

We will become evil and the stars will come alive
sport is not about the winning, its about the taking part, somebody should tell that to (Hot) "Piss" Froome imo, maybe Quintana can give him smiling lessons

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
The winner should be decided by popular phone vote.

Largepotato
Jan 18, 2007

Spurd.

goatface posted:

The winner should be decided by popular phone vote.

Last in votes gets pushed off the mountain.

peanut-
Feb 17, 2004
Fun Shoe
I don't think they need to change the green jersey. Sagan wins it because he does stuff that is completely ridiculous. Coming in the top 3 in bunch sprints one day then dominating a breakaway for hours over cat 1 climbs the next.

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

peanut- posted:

I don't think they need to change the green jersey. Sagan wins it because he does stuff that is completely ridiculous. Coming in the top 3 in bunch sprints one day then dominating a breakaway for hours over cat 1 climbs the next.

But that's the thing, he's effectively a climber/gc guy that sprints a bit. He tends to lose in the true sprints because he prioritises being able stay up the road rather than burst power. It's tremendously impressive, but it's not sprinting.

Virigoth
Apr 28, 2009

Corona rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the virus
In the ICU y'all......



peanut- posted:

I don't think they need to change the green jersey. Sagan wins it because he does stuff that is completely ridiculous. Coming in the top 3 in bunch sprints one day then dominating a breakaway for hours over cat 1 climbs the next.



This was one of my favorite moments of the tour, especially when Froome was like "hey, maybe don't do that mate"

Xir
Jul 31, 2007

I smell fan fiction...

tarbrush posted:

But that's the thing, he's effectively a climber/gc guy that sprints a bit. He tends to lose in the true sprints because he prioritises being able stay up the road rather than burst power. It's tremendously impressive, but it's not sprinting.

The green jersey isn't really a "sprint" jersey though. Especially since stage wins are worth so many points. Go look and see where Chris Froome stands in the points classification.

Virigoth posted:



This was one of my favorite moments of the tour, especially when Froome was like "hey, maybe don't do that mate"

I move that we start calling Sagan "Megaman". That image cracks me up.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

tarbrush posted:

But that's the thing, he's effectively a climber/gc guy that sprints a bit. He tends to lose in the true sprints because he prioritises being able stay up the road rather than burst power. It's tremendously impressive, but it's not sprinting.

Someone who "sprints a bit" would maybe crack the top 5 sometimes in sprint finishes on the Tour. Whether or not Sagan is following normal sprint tactics or techniques, he's very frequently at the line.
I don't know what else to call someone who's finished a wheel off of Andre Greipel but a sprinter.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
Doped up to the Froome.

Knitting Beetles
Feb 4, 2006

Fallen Rib

kimbo305 posted:

I don't know what else to call someone who's finished a wheel off of Andre Greipel but a sprinter.

Eligible for a pay cut, if it weren't for those "contracts"

Still B.A.E
Mar 24, 2012

Sagan is incredible, and fully deserves the points jersey. I don't think the system is so bad at it is, there's already a ton of prestige for the best pure sprinters in that they just win a bunch of stages, whereas the green jersey rewards aggressiveness and good racecraft throughout the tour.

Pocket
Aug 27, 2006

Largepotato posted:

Last in votes gets pushed off the mountain.

This system has already been in place for a while:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFWt_MKViKs&hd=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nQM_38OOVo&hd=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1eRPyuuy3M&hd=1

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO
I am prepared to concede that the problem may not be with the points, but rather that Sagan is too good.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
This was the year they had supposedly changed the points jersey specifically to stop Sagan walking away with it.

Then he goes and finishes in the top 3 on most of the super sprint stages anyway.

Andy Dufresne
Aug 4, 2010

The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die
Sprinters get the stage wins, why do they need a jersey as well? What is left for all around impressive guys who aren't specialized climbers or sprinters?

Jamsque
May 31, 2009
The green jersey rules are fine, in fact they were fine before the latest round of meddling but the ASO just can't help themselves.

The competition they need to fix is the polka-dots, they have been loving with it for years now and they finally broke it. The points are weighted way too heavily towards HC climbs and mountain-top finishes, I know in the past it was a bit more of a 'king of the breakaways' jersey but I'm in favour of a return to that if it means the people fighting for it aren't the same people fighting for yellow.

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Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

I was thinking it should be lowest cumulative time up the climbs or points are awarded to the quickest ascent. That way climbers might launch attacks out of the peleton even if a big break has gone up the road

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