[CYOA] Let's Play - Sword of the Bastard Elf

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [CYOA] Let's Play - Sword of the Bastard Elf

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Pidgin Englishman: Apr 30, 2007; If you shoot
you better hit your mark

Bravo Gilganixon, well done. Keep us updated on anymore copies, that was an amazing ride.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 08:28

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 23:50

Dogstoyevsky: Oct 9, 2012; If there is no Dog, everything is permitted

It really was a great CYOA. Hope you do more in the future once your hand heals.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 10:33

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Definitely one of the best CYOAs I've ever seen. Excellent work.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 13:04

Hyrax Attack!: Jan 13, 2009; We demand to be taken seriously

This was excellent! My favorite part was Pixie Town. Great work!

# ? Jul 30, 2015 14:04

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

The high water mark of CYOAs across the internet. Bravo!

# ? Jul 30, 2015 14:54

Dr Cheeto: Mar 2, 2013; Wretched Harp

I laughed, I cried, I vomited. Thank you, Gil.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:03

Garth_Marenghi: Nov 7, 2011

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:24

freelop: Apr 28, 2013; Where we're going, we won't need fries to see

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:24

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

djwetmouse posted:

Fantastic CYOA. Clever as all hell.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:27

Toughy: Nov 29, 2004; KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:28

HackensackBackpack: Aug 20, 2007; Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:39

poor life choice: Jul 21, 2006

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 15:53

SnotGrumble: Jun 4, 2003; All men live in fear of him and his Moxie.

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:16

where the red fern gropes: Aug 24, 2011

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:26

Obscil: Feb 28, 2012; PLEASE LIKE ME!

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:41

Araenna: Dec 27, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:41

Blizzy_Cow: Feb 27, 2006; When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:46

Monkey Fracas: Sep 11, 2010; ...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!; Grimey Drawer

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 16:56

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

djwetmouse posted:

Been a fun ride, thanks OP

# ? Jul 30, 2015 17:21

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 17:27

Vanilla Mint Ice: Jul 17, 2007; A raccoon is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits.

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 17:30

Alien Sex Manual: Dec 14, 2010; is not a sandwich

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 18:05

Furia: Jul 26, 2015; Grimey Drawer

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 18:19

Alimony Squirrel: Mar 10, 2006; a bip and a bop

djwetmouse posted:

Alimony Squirrel fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Jul 30, 2015

# ? Jul 30, 2015 18:50

RC Cola: Aug 1, 2011; Dovie'andi se tovya sagain

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 18:51

Pyroi: Aug 17, 2013; gay elf noises

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 19:30

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

wooo

go elf

more Karol translations please

# ? Jul 30, 2015 19:37

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

djwetmouse posted:

That was a helluva job - thanks for sticking with it so diligently.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 19:41

assemblyrequired: Jul 14, 2014

djwetmouse posted:

One hell of a thread, thank you so much op.
Keep us updated on how your hand is holding up, I'm worried about that

# ? Jul 30, 2015 20:24

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 20:27

Carly Gay Dead Son: Aug 27, 2007; Bonus.

djwetmouse posted:

This was brilliant. You're goin' places, OP.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 20:51

Radical and BADical!: Jun 27, 2010; by Lowtax; Fun Shoe

dude you could literally flesh this out all the way and sell it, either via a traditional cyoa game system or some sort of steam game. nerds everywhere would line up to throw you money

edit: i mean Gilganixon, although that is a pretty nice gif, djwetmouse

# ? Jul 30, 2015 20:56

fordham: Oct 5, 2002; Your argument is invalid.; Exciting Lemon

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 21:01

Amorphous Blob: Jun 26, 2009; by Lowtax
(and can't post for 2 years!)

djwetmouse posted:

# ? Jul 30, 2015 21:20

CheeseThief: Dec 28, 2012; Two wholesome boys to brighten your day

Claven666 posted:

dude you could literally flesh this out all the way and sell it, either via a traditional cyoa game system or some sort of steam game. nerds everywhere would line up to throw you money

edit: i mean Gilganixon, although that is a pretty nice gif, djwetmouse

I have the exact same sentiments, you could easily turn this into a real product. I bought a couple of CYOA books at a Canadian comic convention a few years ago so there's definitely still a market for it, especially on e-books.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 21:45

Fellbat: Feb 23, 2014

Just want to say thank you for this horrible, horrible thing.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 21:52

Kallev: Nov 16, 2014

I promised myself I wouldn't cry and now look at me. Thank you for this amazing foray into the life of a fundamentally broken half-elf man child.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 22:20

MONKEY TRASH!: Jan 8, 2006

Rediscovering this Elf's debauchery has helped me through a dark time, OP. The world needs you doing this full time.

# ? Jul 30, 2015 23:23

Blizzy_Cow: Feb 27, 2006; When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes

fancy sauces posted:

Rediscovering this Elf's debauchery has helped me through a dark time, OP. The world needs you doing this full time.

Since he hasn't posted a reply in a bit im afraid his wound might've finally gotten the better of him:(

# ? Jul 30, 2015 23:49

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 23:50

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Blizzy_Cow posted:

Since he hasn't posted a reply in a bit im afraid his wound might've finally gotten the better of him:(

I'm going to pull through.

Final Update

Get your commemorative PDF here, in order and with a couple of very small extras included that probably weren't funny enough to make the thread:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-g-7pbvX3HJb0NPSWZBbEdpOVE/

It took a bit of doing but I crammed the whole thing into 28 MB. Turns out if you're not saving everything as a PNG they don't take up as much space. Who knew.

Thanks again all y'all for sticking with it to the bitter (for Jeff) end, and thanks for this, really made my day:

djwetmouse posted:

-------

Claven666 posted:

dude you could literally flesh this out all the way and sell it, either via a traditional cyoa game system or some sort of steam game. nerds everywhere would line up to throw you money

I might have a stab at it some time, although I don't know if it'll be the Bastard Elf or if I'd rather try a new setting. I'll definitely be looking for internet funnymen to help out when the time comes so I'll start a thread here if I do it.

fancy sauces posted:

Rediscovering this Elf's debauchery has helped me through a dark time, OP. The world needs you doing this full time.

That's good to hear, I'm glad the Elf could do some good for someone.

Epic High Five posted:

This was incredible and I love you forever for doing it. What a great ending and I'm glad I stumbled onto the project so early. loving elves man, loving elves

Once the pdf is put together I'd appreciate a chance to name my price and send a little something your way ~~for all the hard work you put into this~~ for the expense that came with trying to land enough copies of the book to make a proper CYOA out of. Also toward your mounting medical bills relating to your book-maimed finger

edit - OH, and if you get bored enough and find a new scanner (even Goodwill has them laying around now!) maybe some alternate endings?

I won't get a chance to scan in those endings any time soon, but we saw most of the good ones. There was another ending which I had scanned in for if we had gone to the dairy, but the gag that hinged on is spoiled by the main ending we got to. I deleted it because I didn't think we'd use it and now the book's gone, sorry!

As for money, you absolutely don't have to pay a thing. If you're adamant about forcing money upon my ungrateful self, send me a PM or email (gilganixon at hermitskull dot com) and I'll send you the details. I'll probably waste it all on beer.

Al Borland posted:

awesome! Keep the thread open till we get the PDF of this in the OP.

ALso it seems that Herman's website has been taken over by some dubious artist!

I tried to PM you but your inbox is full. Anyway yeah, some dodgy fellow's taken over the place.

the_steve posted:

Hell yes, this was a fun game. Makes me wish I had gotten into them when I was younger.
I may have been too young though. I did like the other, more traditional CYOA books growing up, but I think I'd have had a blast with these more in-depth ones.

The Sorcery! series for Android and iOS is meant to be a fantastic port of the best of those books. I used to have them along with about thirty other of the Fighting Fantasy series when I was a kid. Spent a lot of time on my own rolling dice.

Amorphous Blob posted:

Thanks for the ride man. Really good CYOA. Couldn't help but notice that your first copy uses the author Herman S. Skull while your new one says Hermit Skull. Must be a change of pen names.

Also Mr. Skull's website looks recently updated! I really like "Food for the Moon" and "Wrath Panda"

Herman's the author, Hermit's the business. I think. The books aren't consistent about this and the 2FF forums are literally the worst place on the internet. Luckily they're sealed off behind some early '00s comedy website on a forum you have to pay to join, so no one is really exposed to them any more.
Thanks for the kind words.

Well, I guess this thread's about done. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Seeya next time I find one of these books lying around!

# ? Jul 30, 2015 23:53

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > [CYOA] Let's Play - Sword of the Bastard Elf

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