Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

Khorne posted:

People without autism realize you can just beat it even if someone else is in the same room and as long as you aren't being blatant about it they will have no idea.

not sure that this is the non-autist option guy

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Khorne
May 1, 2002

Blue Train posted:

not sure that this is the non-autist option guy
It was a commentary on thought process not behavior. But people with autism aren't going to do that poo poo.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


oh good, CNN is using the original "addicted to porn" statement http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/20/us/josh-duggar-ashley-madison/index.html

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Siljmonster posted:

how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives in your house

You first claim that you are researching exorcisms, found some videos of some African pastors exorcising a young white female who has been taken by Satan, repeatedly, in differing positions. And that you need some some private time to watch.

And if some jizz hits Number 8/9/10's head during the night, that's ectoplasm.

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013

Casimir Radon posted:

Josh is the worst poster boy Christianity ever had, but he's still above the rest of us sinners. Which is funny because he's sinned far more than my godless rear end could in 10 lifetimes.

Fitzy Fitz posted:

He'll show up again in the media or the Conservative Christian movement as soon as possible, because he's not just gonna get a regular job or anything.
His new image will be all about the mistakes he made and how that's made him not only a better person, but a better authority on how sinful gays are (because he sinned too, so he gets it, right?)

That last one is the big one. In these circles anyone can be a good guy again as long as he's spouting the bigotry that the rest of them want to hear.

Oh, and he'll never actually be cured and will inevitably relapse into porn and affairs.

Pretty much this. It's how Mike Huckabee or one of your friends/relatives on facebook can unironically state how homogays are no better than pedophiles and pedophiles should all be killed in one moment, and then flip to "He was young, he recognized his mistake, prayed hard and is now a better person for it!" the next, all while keeping a straight.

You can also bet your rear end these people would burn Anna at the stake if it was her on the AM website. That or she'd just "go away" like one of the girls he molested.

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

happyhippy posted:

And if some jizz hits Number 8/9/10's head during the night, that's ectoplasm.

i think ive found the holy ghost now

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Siljmonster posted:

how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives targets in your house

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

happyhippy posted:

And if some jizz hits Number 8/9/10's head during the night, that's ectoplasm.

"look paw, 'mmaculate conception"

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?


lol.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


i was told that on his ashley madison he said he would prefer a woman whose name starts with a j, thats creepy and gross

Bethamphetamine
Oct 29, 2012

How do you grow up in a fundie family and not at least learn how to apologize better than Ted Haggard?

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Celluloid Sam posted:

i was told that on his ashley madison he said he would prefer a woman whose name starts with a j, thats creepy and gross

Jan Bob

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Let us not forget that one of Josh's username was

Ready4thisdc

Clochette
Aug 12, 2013

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my Jim, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my Bob.

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS


Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Let us not forget that one of Josh's username was

Ready4thisdc

it stands for Ready 4 This Dickin', Child?

Tipps
Apr 18, 2006


party in the front

business in the back
Maybe if he and his wife watched porn together and had a good time he wouldn't have spend spent hundreds of dollars for an AM account to try and cheat on her.

makes u think

guy was probably one of the 3 people left alive who still paid for porn too

Martout
Aug 8, 2007

None so deprived
The internet has been p. funny lately.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Tipps posted:

Maybe if he and his wife watched porn together and had a good time he wouldn't have spend spent hundreds of dollars for an AM account to try and cheat on her.

makes u think

this is probably true, wives everywhere watch the porns with your husbands, for your sake!

Zamboni Rodeo
Jul 19, 2007

NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!




Vacation Tenzin posted:

The perfect Dugg was the last one they had.

Please please Jesus someone who's better at coming up with funny lyrics than me do a "Perfect Dugg"/"Perfect Drug" parody.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Siljmonster posted:

how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives in your house

Masturbation is forbidden. One kid spent too long in the bathroom and Jim Bob freaked out and tied his hands together.

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.
Imagine how crazy he went with the porn a couple of months into his marriage. Here's the order of events:
1. Grows up in household where sex is a total taboo subject and totally evil outside of marriage but Jim Bob and Michelle are pounding away nightly knocking the paintings off the walls.
2. Already a sense of isolation from the religion and you know that the rest of the world functions completely different from your small community.
3. Puberty happens and curiosity gets the better of him and the molestation happens, severely punished but guess what his pecker still gets wicked hard because :biotruths:
4. On the straight and narrow because arranged dating starts, and marriage is in sight and all that jizz needs to GET OUT
5. Marriage, honeymoon, living on his own, he's thinking HOLY loving poo poo NO WONDER DAD CAN'T KEEP HIS DICK OUT OF MOM'S VAGINA LIFE IS NOW AMAZING!
6. Wifey gets pregnant/the novelty of sex wears off and you're left with an arranged marriage between two fundies, who are also conservatives and thus boiling with latent fear and anger.
7. Business trip, holiday inn express first time truly alone in entire life: "Hmmm I'm a little bored I've read Matthew 3 so many times I practically know it by heart. Maybe I'll turn on Fox news or see if they have any cool Christian movies on the pay-per-view." *Satan pours the foundation for his fortress*
8. Wife's at the supermarket with the kid. God love her but she can be a bitch sometimes. pornhub.com
9. Kleenex experiences a 0.05% spike in profits over the next several years

Amarcarts fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Aug 20, 2015

Geoj
May 28, 2008

BITTER POOR PERSON



They don't seem to understand how the internet works.

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005




Indubitable Leg posted:

Pretty much this. It's how Mike Huckabee or one of your friends/relatives on facebook can unironically state how homogays are no better than pedophiles and pedophiles should all be killed in one moment, and then flip to "He was young, he recognized his mistake, prayed hard and is now a better person for it!" the next, all while keeping a straight.

You can also bet your rear end these people would burn Anna at the stake if it was her on the AM website. That or she'd just "go away" like one of the girls he molested.

Another good example of this is white racists absolutely loving it when black people with them. In recent news this was the few black people showing up (in support) at confederate flag rallies. Or Bill Cosby. They defended him the same way.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


Siljmonster posted:

how do you even crank it out to porn when theres like 100 people relatives in your house
Probably did it in his office at the FRC.



The Duggar house right now:

McStabby
Jun 26, 2007

LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

Amarcarts posted:

Imagine how crazy he went with the porn a couple of months into his marriage. Here's the order of events:
1. Grows up in household where sex is a total taboo subject and totally evil outside of marriage but Jim Bob and Michelle are pounding away nightly knocking the paintings off the walls.
2. Already a sense of isolation from the religion and you know that the rest of the world functions completely different from your small community.
3. Puberty happens and curiosity gets the better of him and the molestation happens, severely punished but guess what his pecker still gets wicked hard because :biotruths:
4. On the straight and narrow because arranged dating starts, and marriage is in sight and all that jizz needs to GET OUT
5. Marriage, honeymoon, living on his own, he's thinking HOLY loving poo poo NO WONDER DAD CAN'T KEEP HIS DICK OUT OF MOM'S VAGINA LIFE IS NOW AMAZING!
6. Wifey gets pregnant/the novelty of sex wears off and you're left with an arranged marriage between two fundies, who are also conservatives and thus boiling with latent fear and anger.
7. Business trip, holiday inn express first time truly alone in entire life: "Hmmm I'm a little bored I've read Matthew 3 so many times I practically know it by heart. Maybe I'll turn on Fox news or see if they have any cool Christian movies on the pay-per-view." *Satan pours the foundation for his fortress*
8. Wife's at the supermarket with the kid. God love her but she can be a bitch sometimes. pornhub.com
9. Kleenex experiences a 0.05% spike in profits over the next several years

Before the molestations made news, the rumor was that the "sin in the camp" was him looking at porn. There's a good chance he was jerking it at his used car lot.

fart blood
Sep 13, 2008

by VideoGames

That's not real, is it?

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Casimir Radon posted:

The Duggar house right now:


The Duggar house right now has bug eyed Michelle crying in a mad rage that Josh has ruined their finances.
Little 17/18/19 will have to enter beauty pagents now to be fed.

Shark Sandwich
Sep 6, 2010

by R. Guyovich

happyhippy posted:

The Duggar house right now has bug eyed Michelle crying in a mad rage that Josh has ruined their finances.
Little 17/18/19 will have to enter beauty pagents now to be fed.

Jim Bob's probably "breaking them in" to be Duggar Magdalenes to keep the money coming in

jenny jones fan
Dec 24, 2007

I like how he constantly tries to remind everyone that he was "only 15" when he did those rapings. I mean that's such a young age before you even know right from wrong, right guys??? :q:

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007

15 year old's strength & abuse forced upon a child :smith:

What a monster, hope he's shot.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

fart blood posted:

That's not real, is it?

No

jenny jones fan
Dec 24, 2007
Mike Huckabee did relentlessly defend him after the raping thing came out which is way worse anyway.

Why hasn't Trump used this against him yet I do not know.

Bethamphetamine
Oct 29, 2012

Melmac posted:

Mike Huckabee did relentlessly defend him after the raping thing came out which is way worse anyway.

Why hasn't Trump used this against him yet I do not know.

Huckabee has no chance for dozens of reasons and is polling within the margin for error among his 17 peers.
To even acknowledge him would be a mistake for Trump.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Shamelessly stolen, not mine.

Melmac posted:

Mike Huckabee did relentlessly defend him after the raping thing came out which is way worse anyway.

Why hasn't Trump used this against him yet I do not know.

Trump isn't playing the religious angle at all atm.
He got himself in the mexican/immigration one and is trying to come out on top of that so doesn't need another one to be hit with questions on.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

hepscat posted:

Ahaha the most recent edit took out the pornography reference entirely.

For me this was the thing about the statement that stood out. Because amongst the "I have wronged, please forgive me, God forgives me, I have caused hurt to my loved ones" bullshit was the EXPLICIT line that porn made me do it.

It's not my fault I molested my sisters, it's theirs for being women.
It's not my fault I cheated on my wife, it's porns.

Edit: Also in all this laughing at Joshywoshysweetums fall I think their needs to be some sympathy for his poor wife and kid.

She was arranged marriaged off to a worthless paedophile loser that her family chose from the same isolated fundie community as her. But he had TV money, so at least she and the kids she would be forced to spawn would be cared for. Now he has lost all that TV money, and all potential Right Wing Committee money, so you have this poor woman, who has never been schooled, has been told that it is sinful for her to work, having to take care of a paedophile who doesn't care about her's kids all the while probably blaming herself and praying/self flaggelating.

BrigadierSensible fucked around with this message at 01:34 on Aug 21, 2015

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.


He was 15 years young and they were 4 years old so it isn't as bad as it sounds.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
His two usernames on the site were 'Josh_the_man' and 'ready4thisdc'.

MAKE NO BABBYS
Jan 28, 2010
It's almost as though brutally repressing all sexual urges, exploration and expression is unhealthy or something!!!!

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
"Anna loves him despite his flaws. She takes their vows seriously. She's a good woman. I'd probably be the same way."

My fiancé tonight lmao

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Mercury_Storm
Jun 12, 2003

*chomp chomp chomp*
Nah he was just influenced by Lucifer and allowed The Satan to build a fortress in his heart, clearly the most straightforward explanation

Just a couple of Power of Christ Compels You and a few more thumps on the head with the bible and he's good to go, a new man who will never look at pornography or be unfaithful again, I'm sure.

Mercury_Storm fucked around with this message at 01:36 on Aug 21, 2015

  • Locked thread