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Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004

Do It Once Right posted:

Help

The oldest son in my gross sex cult where men are god-kings and women are sex slaves has grown into a sex pervert for some inexplicable reason.

Do evangelicals like the world of Gor books

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Clochette
Aug 12, 2013

Do It Once Right posted:

Help

The oldest son in my gross sex cult where men are god-kings and women are sex slaves has grown into a sex pervert for some inexplicable reason.

The weird thing is, the Duggar women have certain privileges that the men don't. When the family comes across a scantily clad lady, the women give a signal to let the men know to avert their eyes. If they use the internet, the children and men are limited to less than 100 pre-screened websites. That includes Jim Bob. Only Michelle and the older daughters have the password for open internet access.

quote:

We tell our children, “Welding metal together is an incredible process. It is interesting to watch, but if you don’t protect your eyes, you will go blind! Similarly, if men, young and old, do not have internet protection and accountability, they will scar their eyes, which are the windows to the soul.” For that reason, we have set up multiple safeguards on our Mac computers, creating parental controls that strictly limit Internet access.

I realize that the limits we set for our children may be different than those set by others, but so many have asked us about it that I want to share our thinking with you here.

During their free time, our kids can go to more than seventy-five prescreened websites for fun and educational information and activities. Some of their favorites are lifeatthepond.com and focusonthefamily.com. The sites they’re able to visit don’t include any search engines or websites that have full-web search engines as part of the site. We also double-check to verify that any embedded YouTube videos on those pre-approved sites don’t also have a YouTube search engine.

If the kids need to go to the open Internet to research something, they need an accountability partner to sit alongside them as they go on the web, and before they can begin, Mom or one of the older girls must type in the Internet-protection password. They’re the only ones who know it.

Last year we acquired a few iPhones. They are handy and fun to use; we can check the bank balance or the ten-day weather forecast in an instant. But because they are Internet enabled, they also need to be password protected. The ones used by Dad and the boys don’t have Safari or any other application that leads to a search engine.

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

...does that mean he used his wife's phone to browse for porn and to trawl for extra-marital poontang on AM

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Josh doesn't live with the main family anymore. He's king of his own gently caress castle.

Young Freud
Nov 26, 2006

Excelzior posted:

...does that mean he used his wife's phone to browse for porn and to trawl for extra-marital poontang on AM

He had an account for whenever he worked out of the Family Research Council's DC office, so I doubt that he had it password-protected.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
not gonna lie, I'd like to be a king of a gently caress castle

Rand alPaul
Feb 3, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pastor Perineum posted:

he still posts new vids on his :nws: pornhub page regularly but you just gotta go with the flow regarding this SA gimmick

I see he no longer has the Goatse Lawyer warning me about seeing his beautiful butthole.

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

Do It Once Right posted:

Help

The oldest son in my gross sex cult where men are god-kings and women are sex slaves has grown into a sex pervert for some inexplicable reason.

Follow my simple six-step plan:

1. Seek advice from other sex cultists. You may be surprised to find that, relatively speaking, your son's perversions aren't that bad!
2. Determine whether the victims are at fault and blame them appropriately.
3. Make him build a kitchen and spend time with people in positions of authority who are also perverts.
4. Try to cover it up.
5. Hire a good PR firm.
6. Pray.

Regards,
Jim Bob

Buttcoin purse
Apr 24, 2014

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

not gonna lie, I'd like to be a king of a gently caress castle

Is that like an outpost of a satan fortress?

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013

Clochette posted:

The weird thing is, the Duggar women have certain privileges that the men don't. When the family comes across a scantily clad lady, the women give a signal to let the men know to avert their eyes. If they use the internet, the children and men are limited to less than 100 pre-screened websites. That includes Jim Bob. Only Michelle and the older daughters have the password for open internet access.

Well duh everyone knows that women don't have any sexual urges, the only urge they feel is the urge to raise a family! :v:

Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004

so the men are simultaneously god kings and fragile children who need strict boundries

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


Uncle Wemus posted:

Do evangelicals like the world of Gor books

They just change Gor to God and bam, classic Bible story

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Uncle Wemus posted:

Do evangelicals like the world of Gor books

Evangelicals don't need gor

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Do It Once Right posted:

Help

The oldest son in my gross sex cult where men are god-kings and women are sex slaves has grown into a sex pervert for some inexplicable reason.

First, stop reading terrible fantasy novels written by John Norman and basing your life around them.

E: poo poo! Beaten like a willful earth woman.

root beer
Nov 13, 2005

I Jimmed, I Bobbed, I Duggared
--from a letter addressed to the Arkansas Senate in 46 BC

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Uncle Wemus posted:

so the men are simultaneously god kings and fragile children who need strict boundries

The thing is that's pretty par for the course in God kings.

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

Kill them all and burn their flesh for they are tainted meat.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
Duggar Approved

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhFs1aYukag

shiksa
Nov 9, 2009

i went to one of these wrestling shows and it was... honestly? frickin boring. i wanna see ricky! i want to see his gold chains and respect for the ftw lifestyle

Clochette posted:

The weird thing is, the Duggar women have certain privileges that the men don't. When the family comes across a scantily clad lady, the women give a signal to let the men know to avert their eyes. If they use the internet, the children and men are limited to less than 100 pre-screened websites. That includes Jim Bob. Only Michelle and the older daughters have the password for open internet access.

you can't tell me jim bob doesnt jerk it to internet porn for 80 days after a disgusting female child is born.

dude is so horned up he dry humps his wife on the minigolf course.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

So does the DJ have a case against Josh?

Clochette
Aug 12, 2013

And who are you, the proud Jim said, that I must Bob so low?

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001

i'm plum duggared out

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

Do It Once Right posted:

Help

The oldest son in my gross sex cult where men are god-kings and women are sex slaves has grown into a sex pervert for some inexplicable reason.

so its Gor

Top City Homo
Oct 15, 2014


Ramrod XTreme

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

So does the DJ have a case against Josh?


She kinda seems like his type TBH

The Bible
May 8, 2010

canyoneer posted:


She kinda seems like his type TBH

drat, I can't find either Cameron or Ray Comfort in the AM leak.

Also, way too old for Josh. He'd be Duggaring it to Michelle or at least Stephanie.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

The Bible posted:

drat, I can't find either Cameron or Ray Comfort in the AM leak.

Also, way too old for Josh. He'd be Duggaring it to Michelle or at least Stephanie.

Patience

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading
At least the quiznos rats never raped nobody

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013
Kirk's too obsessively devoted to cheat. Hell he won't kiss an actress in any movie he does. It's always his wife in a wig and/or silhouetted.

Whatev
Jan 19, 2007

unfading
Well in my opinion children are toys to be strategically utilized as pawns for the intricate schemes of adults

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

"Sex Crimes Daily: Only the Newest posted:

Investigations continued this week in what is now being called Rat-gate. Victims have given statements describing working with the Quiznos spokesrats as "like being on the assembly line of some strange and horrible rape factory," and commenting "at least they waited until I was sexually mature to ruin my self esteem and sense of trust in other people, unlike some sandwich peddlers I could name." At the time of writing, dozens of victims were still coming forward and accusing the rodents of sexual misconduct.

Fitzy Fitz
May 14, 2005




Indubitable Leg posted:

Kirk's too obsessively devoted to cheat. Hell he won't kiss an actress in any movie he does. It's always his wife in a wig and/or silhouetted.

People who act like that are usually doing it in response to some hosed up thing from their past. Like how the Duggars went insane and had 20 babies after Michelle's birth control miscarriage.

Indubitable Leg
Aug 9, 2013
I'm sure there's probably some tell all that he gives about how before he got saved it was all drugs and sex and devil worship, meaning he got drunk at a party once and made out with a socialite and now represses it to the point where he won't kiss anyone he isn't married to.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


I can't see Kirk Cameron ever making out with anyone.

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Casimir Radon posted:

I can't see Kirk Cameron ever making out with anyone.

Kirk Cameron & Josh are zeta as gently caress. Like most douchebag christians. Weak & soft like a typical woman but with no discernible personality outside their religion.

Krispy Wafer
Jul 26, 2002

I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat

Grimey Drawer

Indubitable Leg posted:

Kirk's too obsessively devoted to cheat. Hell he won't kiss an actress in any movie he does. It's always his wife in a wig and/or silhouetted.

I think he converted in his teens, so he presumably had a relatively normal childhood (for a child TV star). I'm sure there's plenty of guilt and shame in the Cameron household, but nothing like the repressed poo poo the Duggars manage.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


Krispy Kareem posted:

I think he converted in his teens, so he presumably had a relatively normal childhood (for a child TV star). I'm sure there's plenty of guilt and shame in the Cameron household, but nothing like the repressed poo poo the Duggars manage.
How'd his stupid sister end up converting?

MonkeyBot
Mar 11, 2005

OMG ITZ MONKEYBOT

Casimir Radon posted:

How'd his stupid sister end up converting?

probably something involving Dave Coulier

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

The Rage posted:

JOESMITHSONNWA@GMAIL.COM

I can't decide if he really likes Mormons, or he's into NWA, or really what he's trying to convey with this e-mail address.

If you're really asking, it stands for North West Arkansas which is where they're located.

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serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
I like the Duggars more than I like GBS.

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