Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

«‹›2059 »

Top Hats Monthly: Jun 22, 2011; People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT

My friend works at a Jeep dealership, a bunch of new Jeep Cherokees got shipped in.

What's the point of a FWD Cherokee?

# ? Aug 30, 2015 23:59

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# ? May 8, 2024 16:15

Previa_fun: Nov 10, 2004

iwentdoodie posted:

That said, while I disagree with people driving trucks if not needed...It's not like they get much worse mileage than a large sedan now, and they are very comfortable. And I'd honestly buy a Transit, if it wasn't the same price or more expensive than an F150 that gets similar mileage and my wife wouldn't bitch about it.

Keep in mind that America's modern pickup trucks are stand-ins for the full-size sedans of old. A GMC Sierra Denali is a stand-in for a fully-loaded Oldsmobile 98 Regency. A Ford F-150 King Ranch is a stand-in for a fully-loaded LTD Brougham.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 00:03

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

leica posted:

I saw a Q50s in person the other day and it impressed me, gorgeous car all around. Never thought I'd be impressed by an Infinity but there you go.

They're really nice cars and actually quite zippy. My problem with them is that they're competing a bit too directly with Lexus. Understandable, but not enough that it excuses stealing/sharing the Lexus front end styling.

And also lol at the analog clock in the center dash.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 01:09

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

If Infiniti wants to be the Japanese BMW they have some work to do.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 01:23

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

Rigged Death Trap posted:

And also lol at the analog clock in the center dash.

Infiniti stopped that with its new cars. The QX60 and Q50 don't have them. I assume they'll extend that out to the other models as they're redesigned.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:00

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

El Scotch posted:

If Infiniti wants to be the Japanese BMW they have some work to do.

Yeah right now they're more like the Japanese Buick

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:04

Friar Zucchini: Aug 6, 2010

Since we're talking about Infiniti Q-something's,

http://wot.motortrend.com/1508_infiniti_posts_another_q30_photo_before_frankfurt_debut.html

I haven't been a fan of Infiniti's styling lately, but at least it hasn't been like Lexus where they crashed their only prototype but didn't notice and still base their styling off the crashed model with the broken headlights. Howfuckingever, I would absolutely drive the poo poo out of the Q30. That is a handsome little fucker and I want one.

Friar Zucchini fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:20

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

On that note, spy shots of the new Prius are out:

you can see the influence of the Mirai FCV, though I think the Mirai's rear is still uglier:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:26

Fayez Butts: Aug 24, 2006

Toyota must be stopped.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:41

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

Fayez Butts posted:

Toyota must be stopped.

It's not like they're defacing the shroud of Turin or something...

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:42

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

BloodBag posted:

It's not like they're defacing the shroud of Turin or something...

In two generations they've basically turned the least offensive design in automative history into an abomination.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:45

Terrible Robot: Jul 2, 2010; FRIED CHICKEN; Slippery Tilde

The front end looks like an old woman that's had too much plastic surgery done.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 02:56

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Terrible Robot posted:

The front end looks like an old woman that's had too much plastic surgery done.

it looks like somebody was photocopying the designers drawing and accidentally hit the "90%" button when it got to the nose and everybody was just like "ok, just build it that way then"

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:01

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Terrible Robot posted:

The front end looks like an old woman that's had too much plastic surgery done.

I'd say it's more like:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:39

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

I like it better than the original Prius at least

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:48

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

PCOS Bill posted:

I like it better than the original Prius at least

Well the original Prius looked like aToyota Echo with aero bits.

The second gen Prius is still probably the best looking hybrid. And the interior in that one was much, much better than the current one, which has a giant worthless fake gearshift in the middle for no reason.

vs.

OXBALLS DOT COM fucked around with this message at 03:55 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:51

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

El Scotch posted:

If Infiniti wants to be the Japanese BMW they have some work to do.

Let's see:

Terrible, bloated styling
Mediocre electric steering
Loaded with gimmicky gadgets that detract from the essentials of driving
Coveted by posers and the nouveau riche

Nope, I think they've pulled it off.

blk fucked around with this message at 03:54 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:52

Turbo Fondant: Oct 25, 2010

blk posted:

Let's see:

Terrible, bloated styling

Mediocre electric steering

Loaded with gimmicky gadgets

Coveted by posers and the nouveau riche

Nope, I think they've pulled it off.

Nissan cooling systems seem to hold together for quite some time though.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:53

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

blk posted:

Let's see:

Terrible, bloated styling

Mediocre electric steering

Loaded with gimmicky gadgets that detract from the essentials of driving

Coveted by posers and the nouveau riche

Nope, I think they've pulled it off.

I think it's a pretty major stretch to say that anyone covets an Infiniti. Maybe 10 years ago in the G35 bromobile days, but nowadays I bet the average person couldn't even name a current model Infiniti.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:56

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Mange Mite posted:

I think it's a pretty major stretch to say that anyone covets an Infiniti. Maybe 10 years ago in the G35 bromobile days, but nowadays I bet the average person couldn't even name a current model Infiniti.

and if they can name one, they can name all of them because they're all named the fuckin same.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 03:58

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

"Name an Infiniti."
"...Q?"

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:00

blk: Dec 19, 2009; .

El Scotch posted:

"Name an Infiniti."
"...Q?"

Oh yeah, almost forgot bullshit naming schemes on the BMW:Infiniti comparo

Mange Mite posted:

I think it's a pretty major stretch to say that anyone covets an Infiniti. Maybe 10 years ago in the G35 bromobile days, but nowadays I bet the average person couldn't even name a current model Infiniti.

You need to spend more time in suburban cul-de-sacs and Costco parking lots. It's not so much coveting the Infiniti brand as a luxury car you can afford because hey then PEOPLE WILL TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY and YOU'VE ARRIVED

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:01

dissss: Nov 10, 2007; I'm a terrible forums poster with terrible opinions.

Here's a cat fucking a squid.

Mange Mite posted:

Well the original Prius looked like aToyota Echo with aero bits.

The second gen Prius is still probably the best looking hybrid. And the interior in that one was much, much better than the current one, which has a giant worthless fake gearshift in the middle for no reason.

vs.

I think the third Gen looks much better than the second, both inside and out.

Note sure about the new one, guess I'll have to wait until it's about the most commonly seen vehicle about to pass judgement.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:02

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

Well anyway back to those 100,000 new Alfas per year that we like and are going to buy

quote:

SERGIO: DO THE MATH
Marchionne puts the squeeze on GM; GM's response: 'Why bail out FCA?'

FCA chief says, 'I can hug you nicely, I can hug you tightly'

Larry P. Vellequette Twitter RSS feed
Automotive News Europe | August 31, 2015 00:00 CET
DETROIT -- General Motors has flatly rejected the advances of its crosstown rival, Fiat Chrysler Automobiles, but FCA CEO Sergio Marchionne is not going away -- not by a long shot.

Marchionne says he has sweated the details and done the math and discovered there's far too much upside in a merger of FCA and GM to let a deal go undone, or at least unexplored.

In a blunt, two-hour interview in his downtown Detroit office, Marchionne said the numbers come out so good that his board of directors has no choice but to put pressure on GM to begin discussions now.

�It would be unconscionable not to force a partner,� he said.

That sounds like a hostile takeover bid is in the works.

�Not hostile,� said the FCA chief. �There are varying degrees of hugs. I can hug you nicely, I can hug you tightly, I can hug you like a bear, I can really hug you. Everything starts with physical contact. Then it can degrade, but it starts with physical contact.�

GM insiders, speaking on background, question Marchionne's assertions about synergies and suggest a merger with FCA is a bad idea all around.

�Why,� asked a high-ranking GM executive, �should [GM] bail out FCA?�

But Marchionne says the logic of the deal is �irrefutable.�

�We're not talking about marginal improvement in margins,� he said, �we're talking about cataclysmic changes in performance, just huge.�

He said: �I've gone through product by product, plant by plant, area by area, and I've analyzed them all.

�I've obviously made some arbitrary assumptions about which architectures survive, which engines survive, and the only deal that offers them the same benefits as we potentially get ... is us.�

The potential profits, he says, are exponentially larger than the current combined global earnings of GM and FCA.

Marchionne says GM isn't taking his phone calls.

�I've offered to sit down with them and take them through the numbers,� said the Italian-Canadian CEO as he sipped an espresso and swiped through documents on his tablet, giving his visitors a cursory look at various charts and graphs he says make his case.

�They won't listen. And that kind of abject refusal to engage ... the capital markets won't understand why you are rejecting the discussion.

�You may reject the deal but you can't reject the discussion. If you're refusing to talk to me, and you have seen nothing, you either think you're above it all, or you think the capital markets are full of schmucks that owe you something.�

'A better deal'

Marchionne says he doesn't lack for potential partners and he could sell or merge FCA as it stands today.

�There have been responses of people who have shown interest in discussing,� he said. �Are they the people I wanted to get the response from? The answer is probably not. There are people who are interested in doing deals. I'm not interested in doing deals with them ... because there's a better deal.

Without specifying how he arrived at the figures, Marchionne cites a staggering combined EBITDA (earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization) figure that he says would result from the merger of FCA and GM.

�Look, the combined entity can make $30 billion a year in cash. Thirty. Just think about that [expletive] number,� he said. �In steady-state environments, it'll make me $28 to $30 billion,� at a seasonally adjusted annual selling rate of 17 million.

Arndt Ellinghorst, head of global automotive research at Evercore ISI, says the target is realistic.

�A combined GM-FCA will generate almost $25 billion in EBITDA this year,� Ellinghorst wrote in an email. �If you assume some synergies and peak U.S. cycle market conditions then, yes, they could get to 30 billion in EBITDA.�

On background, a GM official said company executives have not seen Marchionne's analysis of what a combined company would look like. But he expressed doubts about how Marchionne could hit his profit projection while keeping a promise made to dealers last week in Las Vegas not to impact retailers or cut manufacturing jobs.

Asked directly, a GM spokesman wouldn't call Marchionne's analysis wrong but said GM officials believe the company and its shareholders are better off on their own.

Marchionne said he has never met GM CEO Mary Barra.

�I'm not trying to date Mary, for the record, but I tried to get to see her.�

A GM spokesman said: �We've responded appropriately to any outreaches that he's had.�

And if there is resistance to sitting down with FCA because of Marchionne's reputation as a crafty and cagey deal-maker, Marchionne has an answer for that, too.

�Look, I'm a tough negotiator and people know it, right? I am who I am, but so what?� he said. �Send somebody else in. Send the shark. I'd come off the table.�

Marchionne insists there is too much to be gained. He said he is �not the guy at the corner who's selling pencils. I tell you that you can make X billion more by being together, I guarantee you that I can carry half the market.�

A hard slog

In a note to investors in June, Max Warburton, an analyst at Sanford C. Bernstein, wrote: �Putting together FCA and GM looks like an operational and management nightmare � but frankly if anyone can smash through the issues and make it function, it would be Marchionne.�

The FCA chief himself said: �An attack on GM, properly structured, properly financed, it cannot be refused. You can play hardball to a point. ... It's too big to ignore, which is the issue that our board is facing.�

Barra, who publicly swept aside Marchionne's advance, said in June, �We have scale,� and she said GM is busy �merging with ourselves.�

Marchionne admits joining with GM would be a hard slog, but he stands by his claims.

�When you get to these type of analyses and this type of very thorough introspection about your business and the other guys' ... you walk away with a conviction that barring implosions ... driven by cultural differences that it's worth taking the risk. The benefits are so high that I don't think you can stop the machine.

�This is not a question of telling me to screw off. I understand [GM's] desire to be alone and execute [its] plan. I've listened to the comments ... 'we're still merging with ourselves,' which I do not buy for a company that is 107 years old. You can't merge with yourself.�

Luca Ciferri contributed to this report.

I cannot wait until the two companies are merged and all GM's useless cars are dumped and the resources put towards new Alfas. This can't happen soon enough. :stwoon:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:06

ilkhan: Oct 7, 2004; I LOVE Musk and his pro-first-amendment ways. X is the future.

Throatwarbler posted:

Well anyway back to those 100,000 new Alfas per year that we like and are going to buy

I cannot wait until the two companies are merged and all GM's useless cars are dumped and the resources put towards new Alfas. This can't happen soon enough.

I dislike govmotors but hate this fucker.
He sounds like a loving crybaby. "Whaaaahh. Why won't anybody buy me? Whaaaahhh".

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:22

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Marchionne is a business man and only a business man pulling out whatever trick he can to achieve a short term stock price gain.

he has reached the end of the rope where short term gains made years ago are leading to long term problems and now he's looking for a way out without looking like a total fuckup.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:24

Seat Safety Switch: May 27, 2008; MY RELIGION IS THE SMALL BLOCK V8 AND COMMANDMENTS ONE THROUGH TEN ARE NEVER LIFT.; Pillbug

Powershift posted:

$(CHRYSLER_OWNER) is a business man and only a business man pulling out whatever trick he can to achieve a short term stock price gain.

he has reached the end of the rope where short term gains made years ago are leading to long term problems and now he's looking for a way out without looking like a total fuckup.

It really is remarkable how many times Chrysler can seemingly pull more rope out of its own rear end.

At least this time they spent the brief moment between bankruptcies making loving kickass cars instead of Neons or K-Cars.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:28

Tide: Mar 27, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

Tubesock Holocaust posted:

Keep in mind that America's modern pickup trucks are stand-ins for the full-size sedans of old. A GMC Sierra Denali is a stand-in for a fully-loaded Oldsmobile 98 Regency. A Ford F-150 King Ranch is a stand-in for a fully-loaded LTD Brougham.

Pretty much. The suburban/expedition/etc is just the modern day Griswald station wagon

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:53

redgubbinz: May 1, 2007

The trucks get better mileage too :v:

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:58

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Ineptus Mechanicus posted:

The trucks get better mileage too

they're also considerably quicker. all 3 manufacturers have a pickup capable of a sub-6 second 0-60.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 04:59

ilkhan: Oct 7, 2004; I LOVE Musk and his pro-first-amendment ways. X is the future.

Powershift posted:

they're also considerably quicker. all 3 manufacturers have a pickup capable of a sub-6 second 0-60.

Theres a lot to be said for being able to use engines bigger than a 2.xl I4.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:03

McTinkerson: Jul 5, 2007; Dreaming of Shock Diamonds

Powershift posted:

they're also considerably quicker. all 3 manufacturers have a pickup capable of a sub-6 second 0-60.

With the Hellcats and Ford pushing their eco-boosts, I'm surprised we haven't seen a resurgence of muscle trucks. Ford did have the tremor sub-model last year but that like the little black express wasn't anything overly special. Just parts bin option packages. I want the RAM SRT-10 and Lightning to make a come back. So I can loving buy one.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:06

skipdogg: Nov 29, 2004; Resident SRT-4 Expert

The truck market is all about the lifted bro trucks these days or super luxury trucks. I see so many Raptor SVT's that people commute in around here. On a side note, those Raptor SVT's are holding their value stupid well here in South Texas, local dealer has a 2013 Raptor with 75K miles on it listed for 43K. Brand new the thing was 53K MSRP. Someone put 75,000 miles on the drat thing in roughly 3 years, at 11/16 MPG that's a poo poo ton of gas. drat thing has a 36 gallon fuel tank.

Thankfully the rolling coal fad seems to be over.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:30

PCOS Bill: May 12, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

skipdogg posted:

Thankfully the rolling coal fad seems to be over.

Maybe where you are. Still a thing in PA.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:33

LeeMajors: Jan 20, 2005; I've gotta stop fantasizing about Lee Majors...
Ah, one more!

skipdogg posted:

Thankfully the rolling coal fad seems to be over.

Someone attempted to roll coal on my wife's Prius in Asheville. I was stunned. I'd never seen it before in person. My wife was horrified.

(He drew too late and we glided by harmlessly).

# ? Aug 31, 2015 05:50

Finger Prince: Jan 5, 2007

LeeMajors posted:

Someone attempted to roll coal on my wife's Prius in Asheville. I was stunned. I'd never seen it before in person. My wife was horrified.

(He drew too late and we glided by harmlessly).

E- read that as drew too early. My premature ejaculation joke failed in ironic fashion.

Finger Prince fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Aug 31, 2015

# ? Aug 31, 2015 06:23

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

Riding bicycles in the rural parts outside of Houston shows me that rolling coal is still very much a thing. I hate getting a face full of that poo poo when I'm minding my business as far right as possible.

# ? Aug 31, 2015 11:08

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# ? May 8, 2024 16:15

Wistful of Dollars: Aug 25, 2009

BloodBag posted:

Riding bicycles in the rural parts outside of Houston shows me that rolling coal is still very much a thing. I hate getting a face full of that poo poo when I'm minding my business as far right as possible.

You're in America, why didn't you shoot him?

# ? Aug 31, 2015 14:38

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Read about a new car? Thats the 2024 Giant Piece of Shit

«‹›2059 »

Top Hats Monthly posted:

iwentdoodie posted:

Top Hats Monthly posted:

leica posted:

Rigged Death Trap posted:

El Scotch posted:

Fayez Butts posted:

BloodBag posted:

Terrible Robot posted:

Terrible Robot posted:

PCOS Bill posted:

El Scotch posted:

blk posted:

blk posted:

Mange Mite posted:

El Scotch posted:

Mange Mite posted:

Mange Mite posted:

quote:

Throatwarbler posted:

Powershift posted:

Tubesock Holocaust posted:

Ineptus Mechanicus posted:

Powershift posted:

Powershift posted:

skipdogg posted:

skipdogg posted:

LeeMajors posted:

BloodBag posted: