Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 11, 2015 05:47

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:49

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

This isn't a news headline or anything - it's a gif by Radio NZ explaining the British line of succession. You need to wait until the end:

# ? Sep 11, 2015 10:15

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Wheat Loaf posted:

This isn't a news headline or anything - it's a gif by Radio NZ explaining the British line of succession. You need to wait until the end:

I'd like to see a King Ralph remake starring #18

# ? Sep 11, 2015 10:54

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

No way he's too "street" King Ralph is supposed to be suave.

# ? Sep 11, 2015 11:02

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

King Ralph was a cinematic triumph and the first movie I can think of that was sponsored by Burger King.

# ? Sep 11, 2015 14:06

Judge Tesla: Oct 29, 2011

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...ref=mostpopular

quote:

Prosthetic Penis Case: 'Blindfolded Woman Unknowingly Had Sex With Male Impersonator For Two Years'

quote:

A blindfolded woman duped into having sex with a male impersonator said they also sunbathed and watched television together with her mask still on, a jury has heard.

The complainant says she thought she had intercourse on a number of occasions with a man called Kye Fortune, who said he was recovering in hospital from a brain tumour and did not want her to see his scars.

But she claims she eventually discovered it was in fact her friend, Gayle Newland, 25, who had persuaded her to wear a blindfold throughout their sexual encounters in which a prosthetic penis was used, the Press Association reports.

# ? Sep 11, 2015 16:07

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Judge Tesla posted:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...ref=mostpopular

go on...

# ? Sep 11, 2015 21:17

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

Judge Tesla posted:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...ref=mostpopular

Haha what the gently caress. This is like Boys don't Cry except with a ton more plot holes

# ? Sep 11, 2015 22:23

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Aesop Poprock posted:

Haha what the gently caress. This is like Boys don't Cry except with a ton more plot holes

Reverse M. Butterfly imo

AKA she knew what she was doing

# ? Sep 11, 2015 22:34

Gynocentric Regime: Jun 9, 2010; by Cyrano4747

Aesop Poprock posted:

Haha what the gently caress. This is like Boys don't Cry except with a ton more plot holes

Except it's nothing like that because this involved two women, not a man and woman.

# ? Sep 11, 2015 22:37

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

Yep.

# ? Sep 12, 2015 01:44

Burkion: May 10, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Mulva posted:

Except it's nothing like that because this involved two women, not a man and woman.

And I'm PRETTY sure no one got killed by some assholes?

# ? Sep 12, 2015 02:07

Dang It Bhabhi!: May 27, 2004; ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

Say Nothing posted:

Yep.

Yesssssssssssssssss

# ? Sep 12, 2015 02:19

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 12, 2015 02:56

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

Mulva posted:

Except it's nothing like that because this involved two women, not a man and woman.

There's a scene where the dude uses a dildo and the girl somehow has no idea it's not a real dick, you're reaching.

# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:06

corn in the bible: Jun 5, 2004; Oh no oh god it's all true!

Volume posted:

good thing that guy had a gun so he could stop 9/11 from happening

# ? Sep 12, 2015 03:21

ncumbered_by_idgits: Sep 20, 2008

corn in the bible posted:

good thing that guy had a gun so he could stop 9/11 from happening

If you make airplanes illegal only the bad guys will have airplanes.

# ? Sep 12, 2015 04:15

pookel: Oct 27, 2011; Ultra Carp

Aesop Poprock posted:

There's a scene where the dude uses a dildo and the girl somehow has no idea it's not a real dick, you're reaching.

Still think this is totally plausible (I'm not joking). I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to tell the difference, personally, anyway.

Also I made this point when the same story was on Jezebel a couple days ago, and a dude tried to mansplain vaginas to me on the basis that his wife says he knows her vagina better than she does. Um, sure. That's believable.

# ? Sep 12, 2015 16:42

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

pookel posted:

Still think this is totally plausible (I'm not joking). I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to tell the difference, personally, anyway.

Also I made this point when the same story was on Jezebel a couple days ago, and a dude tried to mansplain vaginas to me on the basis that his wife says he knows her vagina better than she does. Um, sure. That's believable.

Tbh it doesn't seem implausible that a dude dumb enough to use that as a qualification has a wife so deeply daft that he actually does know her vagina better than her. Who else would marry such a lovely wall of potatoes?

# ? Sep 13, 2015 03:05

Schlinky: Mar 12, 2009; ...Too much drink.

Pizza Chef threatened to kill co-worker over best way to make pizza in Darwin

quote:

The Darwin Magistrates Court heard a fight broke out between Francesco Cristofaro, 21, and another employee of the Super Pizza restaurant in Fannie Bay last month.

At the height of the argument, the court heard a screaming Cristofaro chased the victim with a knife, yelling "tonight, I kill you".

Magistrate Greg Smith told Cristofaro that "passion is sometimes a good thing, but running around with a knife is misplaced passion".

Lawyer Peter Maley said his client is "a passionate cook that cares a great deal about the art of making pizzas".

"He has never been in trouble with the law here or in Europe," he said.

He said Cristofaro was living in Australia on a working holiday visa from Italy, with his girlfriend also working at the restaurant.

Mr Maley told the court his client had been incarcerated in the Howard Springs Correctional Facility since late last month and had found the experience traumatic with his limited knowledge of English.

Magistrate Smith said Cristofaro "might be a good cook, but the use of a knife by a cook is not always good".

"Hopefully this sentence teaches you a lesson," Magistrate Smith told Cristofaro.

Cristofaro was sentenced to four months' jail, suspended for 12 months.

# ? Sep 13, 2015 04:02

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 13, 2015 04:11

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Say Nothing posted:

Worth reading.

This girl has a bright political future if she moves to the United States.

# ? Sep 13, 2015 12:22

Prenton: Feb 17, 2011; Ner nerr-nerrr ner

Judge Tesla posted:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...ref=mostpopular

This is from my neck of the woods. Seeing this pop in in the Wirral Globe was very strange given their usual tinpot local paper diet of vintage tram and sheep based news.

# ? Sep 13, 2015 15:26

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

# ? Sep 13, 2015 15:58

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

flosofl posted:

Makes sense since so many of his favorite roles involved capes - Armand, Zorro, 13th Warrior, Puss in Boots, probably whoever he was in Spy Kids.

# ? Sep 13, 2015 17:25

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

flosofl posted:

I'm on board, capes own bones, just ask Ted DiBiase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsCIfUPXQcg

# ? Sep 13, 2015 21:10

Strudel Man: May 19, 2003; ROME DID NOT HAVE ROBOTS, FUCKWIT

Ozz81 posted:

I'm on board, capes own bones, just ask Ted DiBiase

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsCIfUPXQcg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jy2YhxXn7NY

# ? Sep 14, 2015 00:03

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 14, 2015 01:08

budgieinspector: Mar 24, 2006; According to my research,
these would appear to be
Budgerigars.

# ? Sep 14, 2015 08:24

walrusman: Aug 4, 2006

How are you supposed to drink in that monkey mask?

# ? Sep 14, 2015 15:22

schadenfraud: Nov 19, 2010

# ? Sep 14, 2015 19:08

theflyingorc: Jun 28, 2008; ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS; Young Orc

walrusman posted:

How are you supposed to drink in that monkey mask?

You don't, you just ape the motions.

# ? Sep 14, 2015 19:13

Sally Forth: Oct 16, 2012

budgieinspector posted:

Disappointingly not mentioned: the 'penguin incident' was a man attempting to bribe staff to be allowed to fight one.

# ? Sep 14, 2015 20:34

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Sally Forth posted:

Disappointingly not mentioned: the 'penguin incident' was a man attempting to bribe staff to be allowed to fight one.

Fight a penguin? What a pussy. Mike Tyson once tried to bribe a guard so he could try to fight a gorilla. Now thats a fight!

# ? Sep 14, 2015 21:39

Nomad175: Oct 14, 2012; By not beating me, he has beaten me.

If shameless self-promotion ain't kosher, just tell me and I'll take down the link, but I've started a FaceBook page that posts headlines from this thread. https://www.facebook.com/WeirdNewsStoriesandHeadlines

# ? Sep 15, 2015 00:21

bongwizzard: May 19, 2005; Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"; Grimey Drawer

Solice Kirsk posted:

Fight a penguin? What a pussy. Mike Tyson once tried to bribe a guard so he could try to fight a gorilla. Now thats a fight!

The gorilla would kill him no question but it would be a hell of a fight.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 01:24

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 15, 2015 02:09

Postal Parcel: Aug 2, 2013

schadenfraud posted:

I realize it's most likely "I wish he would laugh at me again or just do anything," but I can't process it any other way but "who's laughing now Larry :smug:

# ? Sep 15, 2015 02:18

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

bunnielab posted:

The gorilla would kill him no question but it would be a hell of a fight.

You're absolutely right about the gorilla killing him, but the only "fight" would be trying to get the lifeless husk of him out of the enclosure as the gorilla swings him around by a dislocated leg.

# ? Sep 15, 2015 03:49

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 11:49

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

I dunno, this IS Iron Mike we're talking about. If he got the drop on Magilla, he might end up being the only one swinging...

# ? Sep 15, 2015 04:05

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