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Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

What kind of bar has cubicles? Talk to the lads

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Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

Page 197 posted:

You recognize some of those present as senior members of the Thieve's Guild, grown rich on the juicy pickings of the latterday well-to-do of Godorno. They are well dressed, urbane looking men.

'Skakshi, I see you lurking there. I have a proposition to put to Melmelo - just the thing for Godorno's master thief.' You know Skakshi likes to think of himself as the master thief of Godorno. He is no friend to Melmelo the Guildmaster.

'I can take you to Melmelo for the price I would be given if I turned you over to the city guard: ten gleenars Do you have ten gleenars, Judain scum?'

There are chuckles from the other customers at Skakshi's insolence.

If you decide to teach him a lesson in how to talk to his better, turn to 281.
If you agree to this bargain, delete the sum of 10 gleenars from your cash and turn to 291.
If you tell Skakshi you will never pay his blood money, turn to 43.

We do have enough money to pay this, should we decide to do so.

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd

Thuryl
Mar 14, 2007

My postillion has been struck by lightning.
We've got more money than we know what to do with anyway, and I don't see how picking a fight with this guy will improve our chances of finding Melmelo. Pay him.

Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

King Kong ain't got poo poo on me!!!! 281

MysticalMachineGun
Apr 5, 2005

Sneaky Fast posted:

King Kong ain't got poo poo on me!!!! 281

Yeah, don't take no poo poo

RabidWeasel
Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!
Pay him you goons!

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.
Let's pay him so that he won't will rob us next.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"

That Italian Guy posted:

Let's pay him so that he won't will rob us next.

Yarp.

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

Page 291 posted:

Skakshi takes you by a devious route, perhaps hoping you will get lost in the foreigner's quarter, which you have been traveling through now for ten minutes.

'What do you have in mind for Melmelo?' Skakshi is anxious to know whether you intend the Guildmaster of Thieves any harm. There is naked ambition gleaming in his eyes; he is truly a nasty piece of work.

'Wait and see,' you tell him.

At last you stand before a white stuccoed villa with an ornamental steam bath bubbling in the garden.

'This is Melmelo's place. The soft living here has made him unfit to lead our guild. There are many who are just waiting for somethin to happen.'

'Thank you, Skakshi, for guiding me here. What is the password? I don't want to be killed for calling without an invitation.'

'Just shout, "enchantress" and they will let you in. If anything happens remember it was me, honest Skakshi, who brought you here. Don't tell Melmelo though.' With that he is gone; he blends into the shadows like a ghost.

Walking up to the double doors of the villa you cry the password for all to hear.

Turn to 12.

Page 12 posted:

Melmelo has his major-domo, a tall, stooping man with a wooden leg, show you into his snug. Doubtless this man lost his leg doing a job for Melmelo and has been rewarded by the sinecure of becoming the Guildmaster’s senior servant. The snug is a comfortable little wood-paneled room lined with bookcases and trophies picked up from the villas of the nobility. It is one of the smallest rooms in what must be one of the grandest villas in the city. Melmelo is very rich.

He is a small shrew-looking man, missing his left little finger and just beginning to lose his greying hair. He is dressed simply and you are reasonably sure his is not armed. You can hear the major-domo working in the garden; the stub of his wooden leg thumps on the flagstones of the garden path. He is too far away to help Melmelo should you attack him. Melmelo looks quite relaxed. He doesn’t seem either prepare for or worried about trouble.

Will you take advantage of Melmelo’s apparent helplessness and kill him (turn to 258), or will you ask him if he can think of a way of vanquishing Hate (turn to 78)?

: Umm....ha-HA, I guess. I've found you, at long last. And now to get down to whatever it is that I expected to accomplish with you.

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd

David Corbett
Feb 6, 2008

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.
Yeah there's absolutely no way that the head thief is actually helpless. You don't get to that position by letting any nameless chump with the right connection walk into your living room and kill you. Dude probably isn't even the head thief anyway. As amusing as it would be to find out how we would die instantly by trying to attack...

Let's ask him if he can think of a way of vanquishing Hate.

CheeseThief
Dec 28, 2012

Two wholesome boys to brighten your day

Why are we being offered a chance to murder the man we want help from? Some times this book feels like it just has options in there for the sake of it.

Twiler
Oct 23, 2010
I have this book somewhere; Looking back, it seems like the author had a set of ideas for the adventure, but no clue as to how they should be put together.

Comstar
Apr 20, 2007

Are you happy now?
Ask for Help because I suspect the guy without the leg is the one we want.

Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

Ask for help. That is some ham-handed foreshadowing

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Help. We need somebody, not just anybody.

(Did some CYOA binge-reading. I feel like this is leftover parts from other Fabled Lands stuff, just renamed and compressed together into some sort of narrative. 'Cept it sucks.)

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

Page 78 posted:

'I have been giving that matter much thought. It's not good for business with Hate disrupting the life of the city.' Melmelo had the larceny side of business in the city nicely sewn up until the monster emerged from the catacombs. 'I can only think of one thing which might be the key to the city's salvation.'

'What is that?' you ask, avidly.

'The Jewel of Sunset Fire.'

'Where is this Jewel?'

Melmelo seems certain that it lies at the top of the Tower of the Sentinel at the east end of Fortuny Street. 'I have coveted it all my life. It is said to give wondrous powers to its wielder. But though many of us have tried to scale the tower - both within, using stealth and cunning, and without, clinging like flies to the stones - none of us survived.'

'I will survive,' you say determinedly. You can be reasonably sure Melmelo is telling you the truth for he wants to see Hate vanquished as much as any man does. He is already on top of the pile, here in Godorno.

Note the codeword Sunset and then turn to 160.

Page 160 posted:

You must decide your next bold stroke to free the city from the grip of hatred and unreason.

If you have the codeword Sunset, turn to 337.
If not, turn to 100.

While this little page here may seem a bit...extraneous...it does serve some purpose.

Page 337 posted:

You could go to find the jewel that Melmelo spoke of, somewhere in the Tower of the Sentinel.

If so, turn to 144.
If you decide against that course of action for the present, turn to 100.

While this does seem like yet another 'Would you like an adventure?' you're actually able to complete other little side questy bits and then return to complete this later if you are so inclined. We visited this page several times ourselves, but lacking the codeword.

Page 144 posted:

Standing beneath the Tower of the Sentinel, which looms three hundred feet above you against the glowering dusk sky, you feel very small and alone. If the greatest thieves of Godorno have tried to climb this tower and failed what hope is there for this poor Judain?

At the top of the Sentinel's tower, the jewel of Sunset Fire shines like a shooting star. The jewel of Sunset Fire is a so-called eye of power that can vanquish evil. The sheer-sided tower is of checkered grey and red mosaic tiles, overlain with the black grime of centuries. It has stood on this spot since before the coming of the corsairs who ravaged the Old Empire. It was the lighthouse for Godorno before the sea level dropped in the great cataclysm. Looking up at the gaunt forbidding tower as it juts against the grey sky you are reminded of the frontispiece of a book you saw once - The Tale of Nuth, Prince of Thieves - which tells of the vain attempt to steal the jewel by the greatest thief of the Old Empire.

The black gate is reach under a trellis which is woven thickly with purple kiss-flowers, that smell unpleasantly like honeysuckle. To your surprise it opens at your touch and you walk into the atrium where small trees are growing in tubs. There is a curving marble staircase that leads up into the tower itself and you begin your long and dangerous climb.

Turn to 29.

Page 29 posted:

After a perilous exploration to find the best way up, you mount the tower. Your fingers clutch into the cracks between the massive stone blocks, and you use the ivy to help you climb. Your gasps of breath are drowned by the whistle and roar of the wind as it claws at the jutting masonry so far from the ground.

At last, a hundred feet up, you reach a set of steps winding round the outside of the tower. There is no balustrade and the steps are no more than a foot wide, winding in a spiral up the outside of the tower. There is nothing at all to hold on to.

Will you try to walk up the steps (turn to 50), crawl up the steps (turn to 23), or give up and leave the tower (turn to 172)?

: Well, this is progress of a sort. Woop!

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex, Sunset

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd

Hermetian
Dec 9, 2007
You gotta crawl before you can walk, boy!

Veyrall
Apr 23, 2010

The greatest poet this
side of the cyberpocalypse
There's not enough space to crawl. We Walk!

RabidWeasel
Aug 4, 2007

Cultures thrive on their myths and legends...and snuggles!
How the gently caress are you supposed to crawl on something that's 1 foot wide, that's not even physically possible. Walk.

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
Walking is just begging to be slapped off the steps by a giant eagle, a gust of wind, or a hag disguised as some lichen. Let's crawl.

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.
Are you sure?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNY6ZstdUdY

Crwaling makes us look suspicious. But since everyone recognise us immediately as a Judain every time, I guess it's a moot point. Crawl.

That Italian Guy fucked around with this message at 10:13 on Sep 17, 2015

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

I can't wait to find out how our adventure-triggered ADD affects us in this situation. Crawl.

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

Page 23 posted:

The wind whistles, causing the miserable wailing of the gargoyles to roll around you as the air streams through the holes in their faces. This is going to be a very dangerous climb.

If you have AGILITY, turn to 50.
Otherwise turn to 203.

Well, do we have AGILITY, or not? Remember, we get a single use from the elfin boots.

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex, Sunset

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.
Eh, let's use it.

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

These boots were made for (agile) walking, and that's just what we'll do! We can let some other schnook* worry about how to get down.

*that other schnook is probably us in the future, but what can you do :shrug:

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

This really should have come before the other choice. Agility please.

David Corbett
Feb 6, 2008

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.
Yeah, let's give them a demonstration of our speed and agility.

Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

Nah man no elfin boots

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

queserasera posted:

This really should have come before the other choice. Agility please.

Well...take a look at the page numbers for the last two choices. Or fail do so-

Sneaky Fast posted:

Nah man no elfin boots

-and suffer the consequences.

Page 203 posted:

As you go to step on a piece of mosaic majolica, your foot feels no resistance. You have stepped off the side of the tower and with a dreadful heave of the stomach you realize you are falling two hundred feet to be smash on the rocks of what was once the entrance to Old Godorno harbor. Who will save your people now? Not you, a shattered body at the base of the Tower of the Sentinel.

Death: A little two hundred foot slip

Page 50 posted:

Walking is better than crawling. On a difficult climb you should keep three holds, using your hands and feet, on what you are climbing at all times. If you do this you will succeed in all but the most difficult of climbs. The wind is whipping around you, however, and the baleful wails of gargoyles seem destined to make you falter and tumble to your death.

It is slow going and you have to force yourself not to look down, but step by step you edge around to the corner. But what if there is something round there waiting to attack you?

If you decide you cannot manage the tower and return to the ground, turn to 172.
If you wish to press on, turn to 304.

We're here for the top, so let's press on.

Page 304 posted:

You stumble through a door which opens onto a short staircase down and almost tumble into an inviting-looking blue pool. This room looks too big. It is oval and too long to fit inside the tower. Its center is taken up with a thirty-foot wide pool surrounded with marble and majolica. A waterfall plunges into the pool from out of the wall near the ceiling. If this waterfall has fed this pool for centuries, where has the water come from and why isn't the pool overflowing? The door that leads on upwards is on the other side of the room.

Will you walk round the pool to the door (turn to 203) or through the pool to it (turn to 216)?

: Well, I AM crusted in sky gunk from that climb, so...

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex, Sunset

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd, what-once-used-to-be-the-harbor'd

Hermetian
Dec 9, 2007
Go around

Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

Wade right in

Aka

Purify ourselves in the waters of lake minnetonka

Sneaky Fast fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Sep 21, 2015

Thuryl
Mar 14, 2007

My postillion has been struck by lightning.
Speaking of looking at page numbers, we already know what's on page 203 and we don't want to go there. Wade through the pool.

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Thanks for the meaningful choices, book. "Do you want the right answer or the wrong answer? Ooooh, you chose the wrong answer...but do you have the macguffin that gives you a mulligan?"

Let's go swimming. At least there aren't any bullshit death-by-piranhas.

Unless there are piranhas in that clear, inviting pool, in which case, gently caress.

Ratatozsk
Mar 6, 2007

Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

Page 216 posted:

The water of the pool is cloudy and you cannot be sure how deep it is. Touching it cautiously reveals it is cold and to the taste it is as pure as spring water.

Will you step in (turn to 245), or skirt round to the side of the pool (turn to 203)?

: *Sigh*

Page 245 posted:

To your relief the pool is only three feet deep and you step out wet but unharmed on the far side. The moaning of the gargoyles dies away and it is only now it has ceased you realize how oppressive the doleful sound was.

Will you explore the sides of this odd-shaped room, around the edges of the pool (turn to 203) or waste no time and open the door ahead of you (turn to 162)?

:rolleyes:

Page 162 posted:

At the top of the last set of eight steps is a landing. The inside wall is covered by a tapestry and there is a single arrow slit in the outside wall. As you walk beside the tapestry gazing for a moment at its depiction of the labors of Coronus, the floors spins and you are shot backward through the tapestry into another room.

You are standing on a wooden platform. There are four other platforms in the room, the furthest in front of the only door. There is nothing to show how you came through the wall behind you and no way of return.

The floor of the room is submerged under a living carpet of orange and black garter snakes. It is too far to jump to the nearest platform above the snakes, but there is a rope hanging from the ceiling half-way between you and it.

If you jump for the rope and hope to swing onto the next platform, turn to 115.
If you make a dash for it through the mass of snakes, turn to 60.
If you have CHARMS and an amulet you can turn to 168.
If you have SPELLS and a wand you can cast Silver Shield to push the snakes aside (turn to 80), Thunderflash to stun them (turn to 149) or Miasma to poison them (turn to 10).

: Why did it have to be snakes?

Character Sheet posted:

Jay 'The Hammer' Sherman the Nazirite

Skills: CHARMS, CUNNING, SWORDPLAY and WILDERNESS LORE

Life Points: 7/12

Gleenars: a large, meaningless number

Possessions: Amulet, sword x2, wand, elfin boots (x1 use of AGILITY), incense censer, throwing daggers, healing salve (restore all Life Points), evidently a dagger (?), one slightly used crossbow bolt, sack full of slime and vomit-soaked sawdust, sucking chest wound, a broken-off spear shaft, a severe case of time-sickness

Codewords: Satori, Codex, Sunset

Kills: Embracer, a guard, an Infernal Machine and the tiny man inside it, a pointy-toothed native, Ejada, the Moon Dog, Skarvench, our credibility as a tactician, any chance of furthering whatever the gently caress kind of relationship we had with Lucie, some unlucky guard

Failures: Root'd to death, despair!'d, swallowed and digested by a Colossus beetle, ate a pig and failed to avert an ecological cataclysm, slave'd and toil'd to death, pulmonary arrownation, stabbed in the eyes and left to "live" off the land, lightly dragon'd, tree'd from a great height x2, Countless Swords of the Westermen'd, gale'd, yardam'd, rack'd, pulp'd, flatten'd, eat'd (nobley), rubble'd, cul-de-sac'd, what-once-used-to-be-the-harbor'd

Hermetian
Dec 9, 2007
We gonna get lucky with CHARMS

That Italian Guy
Jul 25, 2012

We need the equivalent of the shrimp = small pastry avatar, but for ambulances and their mysteries now.
Do you wanto to use Charms? Go to 203.

Sneaky Fast
Apr 24, 2013

CHARM If we play a Pungi you have to burn this book

Decoy Badger
May 16, 2009
We have a charm and wish to use it.

Jefepato
Mar 11, 2009

This?! This is a glorious dance! That has been passed down! In my family for generations!
...Aren't garter snakes harmless?

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David Corbett
Feb 6, 2008

Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world.

Jefepato posted:

...Aren't garter snakes harmless?

Generally, yes. The orange and black variety apparenrly generate mild venom but not enough to be a risk to a person.

Still, since I wouldn't trust this book, I'd say use charms.

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