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Full Metal Boxers
Feb 20, 2007

COME LITTLE BITCOIN.... COME MY WAY.....IN THE MID NIGHT HOUR... I YELL NO NO NO... WITH A REBEL YELL I YELL MORE MORE MORE.... BIT COIN... I WANT TO FUCK YOU
"There is always more, and it is always worse."

As it was foretold, so has it come to pass.

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sincx
Jul 13, 2012

furiously masturbating to anime titties

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/engineering/14974-Design-The-Endeavor

ALL THE SPERG. ALL OF IT!

quote:

When a player dies, they have the option of respawning at any landing zone equipped with a hospital for a minimal charge. Alternatively, one may inspect the prices being offered by all nearby Endeavors equipped with a Medical Module that have activated their ID Beacons to determine whether a remote spawn into that ship – a concept that will often allow you to get back into the action a lot faster – is warranted. After a player has respawned into the hospital section of an Endeavor, they are granted access to a waiting room where they’re able to order any of several smaller ships that will fit within the Medical Module’s Hangar Bay. The Endeavor’s owner has to pay a premium for the rapid and remote delivery of such ships, and in turn is able to dictate the amount of profit that they require. Upon arrival of the ship, the respawned player – and any of their party members that are also residing within the waiting room – may enter the Hangar Bay, board the new ship, and continue on their way.

So in the Star Citizen universe you can decide where to reincarnate after you die based on market data delivered to you in purgatory?

Al Borland
Oct 29, 2006

by XyloJW
So, I mean like... are we sure this is happening? They did say "in two weeks"...

lesbian baphomet
Nov 30, 2011

hi Star Citizen thread. I haven't payed much attention to this poo poo besides tacitly assuming that it was doomed from the start/thinking everybody buying in is a giant retard with far more money than they deserve, but it seems like whatever kind of collapse just happened to prompt a Refund OP must have been pretty goddamn funny.

Please, tell me what the funny collapse was in normal people terms instead of vague encoded SC-thread in-jokes. i dont know or care who derek smart or the Roberts person are, besides that those are presumably the names of human beings. I just want to know more about the disaster that has apparently befallen star citizen. i want to see the train wreck in HD vivid detail without having to dig through hundreds of pages of shitposting from the previous thread. please.

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

Mister Adequate posted:

Actually if there's an effortpost in the old thread about how the whole thing was supposed to operate, that'd be neat, because it kind of looks to me like even if they were delivering everything as promised it would still be completely goddamn insane.

It's hard to know what the game is supposed to be because the lead designer just says "yes" to whatever sperg-phantasm it's fanbase comes up with. It's a a single-player theatric space shooter featuring Nathan Fillion and Mark Hamill, but it's also an MMO featuring Harvest Moonships and Hamburger-Time minigames, and it's also the next big First Person Shooter. You can buy ultra powerful ships with real cash but the game is not pay-to-win. There are lots of dynamic space battles but it's not really PvP if you want to hold on to your precious ships. The game is basically whatever it needs to be at any moment. Which is easy because there is no game.

sincx
Jul 13, 2012

furiously masturbating to anime titties
You know what would get a ton of spergs to buy in?

Space Trains!



You have have commuter space trains for intra-system travel or tourist space trains as a slower, more scenic alternative to space liners. You can have space train stations, space train conductors (complete with space train ticket checking), space train dining cars, space train toilet cleaning, etc. The minigame opportunities are endless!

Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week

lesbian baphomet posted:

Please, tell me what the funny collapse was in normal people terms instead of vague encoded SC-thread in-jokes.
Derek Smart is still amazing comedy in TYOOL 2015


(nothing has really collapsed yet, just a bunch of firings and lots and lots of no game existing)

Chocobo
Oct 15, 2012


Here comes a new challenger!
Oven Wrangler

Cowman posted:

what the hell is star citizen even supposed to be? a space mmo with thousand dollar ships that get blown up and you're gently caress out of money? Isn't that what EVE does?
The first gameplay video they put out spells out exactly what the game was SUPPOSED to be, but the scope has changed so much that it's hardly recognizable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-Gsxg-Uc9k

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

As part of the inevitable disaster after-action report, I would really like to see someone map out all the bajillion ancillary systems and mechanics they've “designed”, and then try to connect the dots to see if there's anything in there that actually resembles a coherent game dynamic.

lesbian baphomet
Nov 30, 2011

Klyith posted:

(nothing has really collapsed yet, just a bunch of firings and lots and lots of no game existing)

i would like to know more about the firings please, that sounds neat. sounds like the start of a collapse maybe, like the part where the train's brakes start making bad noises a few miles before it crashes. is there a press release or news article about it or anything.

Peroxide Cowboy
Nov 30, 2013

Just going back over some of these funding goals before Croberts decided he got sick of writing new letters. :catstare:


$14 Million
Hibernation Mode: for the explorers out there, we will add the ability to save and resume while you are out in space. When not in combat, power your ship down, hit the bunk, and exit the game safely until you can resume your journey. Professional-quality feature-length “Behind the Scenes of Star Citizen” documentary film.

$19 Million
Know your foe with a Jane’s Fighting Ships style manual free in PDF form to all pledgers. RSI Museum will air monthly, with a new game featured each time!

$24 Million
Public Transportation System – Need to get from one place to another but don’t have a starship? We’re building a galactic transportation system.

$36 Million
Tamsa System - Hey for another million we'll make a map

$37 Million
Tanga System - Hey for another million we'll make another map.

$38 Million
Cano System - Hey for another million we'll make another map.

$39 Million
UDS-2943-01-22 System - Hey for another million we'll make another map.

$40 Million
Kabal, Oretani Systems - Hey for another million we've got a great deal for you. We'll offer you two maps!

$43 Million
Combat armor - Hey for another million we're gonna give you this nice looking texture.

$45 Million
Hadesian Artifact - Hey for another million we're gonna make a weird alien object for you!

$49 Million
Space plant - Hey for another million we've got a great prop for you to place in your hangar!

$50 Million
Alien Languages – Do you speak Banu? We will work with real-world linguists to create distinctive and realistic alien languages for Star Citizen’s three biggest alien races, the Vanduul, the Xi’An and the Banu. No universal translators, no garbled animal noises: Star Citizen’s aliens will be speaking their own authentic languages! :jerkbag:

starry skies above
Aug 23, 2015

by zen death robot
Okay people, can we get some history?

Because I thought at one point the SA thread on this subject was full of enthusiasm for the game and goons were throwing money at it?

When did things change such that all goons now have to say about Star Citizen is endless derision?

Sankis
Mar 8, 2004

But I remember the fella who told me. Big lad. Arms as thick as oak trees, a stunning collection of scars, nice eye patch. A REAL therapist he was. Er wait. Maybe it was rapist?


when it was made apparent that Chris Roberts wasn't an idiot savant and just an idiot

starry skies above
Aug 23, 2015

by zen death robot

Sankis posted:

when it was made apparent that Chris Roberts wasn't an idiot savant and just an idiot

which was when...?

Potato Salad
Oct 23, 2014

nobody cares


Frog in boiling water metaphor. Hard to say.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

starry skies above posted:

which was when...?

For me it was around June or July 2013

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

starry skies above posted:

Okay people, can we get some history?

Because I thought at one point the SA thread on this subject was full of enthusiasm for the game and goons were throwing money at it?

When did things change such that all goons now have to say about Star Citizen is endless derision?

There was a pitched battle between the forces of the star citizen hugbox thread in games and the combined star citizen, doobie's dog house, and dayz garbage nightmare thread in gbs. It was a forums golden age for sure. In the end the sheer weight of evidence supporting the garbage nightmare interpretation won out, and the hugbox posters either became disillusioned, retreated to offsite, or started rolling with the punches

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

lesbian baphomet posted:

i would like to know more about the firings please, that sounds neat. sounds like the start of a collapse maybe, like the part where the train's brakes start making bad noises a few miles before it crashes. is there a press release or news article about it or anything.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/features/14695-Star-Citizen-Controversy-Reaches-a-Boiling-Point

Goredema
Oct 16, 2013

RUIN EVERYTHING

Fun Shoe
Here's what Star Citizen is supposed to be, I guess. If you're an eternal optimist, this poo poo is right around the corner, any day now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INS_YZl85rQ

Here's what Star Citizen is currently. If you're an eternal pessimist, it's never going to get better than it is right now, and right now is awful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppdnbrylevc

The truth probably lies someplace between those two extremes, but where the final game will fall, no one can say. It's a pretty big gradient shaped like a roulette wheel, and most goons have already made a profit and are cashing in their chips.

Goredema fucked around with this message at 06:29 on Sep 30, 2015

SquirrelGrip
Jul 4, 2012

lesbian baphomet posted:

i would like to know more about the firings please, that sounds neat. sounds like the start of a collapse maybe, like the part where the train's brakes start making bad noises a few miles before it crashes. is there a press release or news article about it or anything.

people who know how to do stuff were asked to do some stuff by people who dont know how in return for money they aquired selling high quality jpegs

people did stuff they way they were told then went "im sorry this is dumb and we cant do this"

chris roberst hired a lady friend of his to fire every body who endangered jpeg sales

buyers of high quality jpegs remorsed and threatened to burn the world if they didnt get more jpegs

CLAM DOWN
Feb 13, 2007




star citizen is this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlMf9B1ZD0I

Peroxide Cowboy
Nov 30, 2013


lol the angry comments

lesbian baphomet
Nov 30, 2011


thanks. lol

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

Be sure to check out Ben 'Enormous' Lesnik too! Boy I bet THAT fella could appreciate a good meal!

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

owns.

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uii8lxRC58

Goredema
Oct 16, 2013

RUIN EVERYTHING

Fun Shoe

Some of the best content for Star Citizen was produced by goons. That should've been our first warning sign. :ohdear:

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

Dandywalken posted:

Be sure to check out Ben 'Enormous' Lesnik too! Boy I bet THAT fella could appreciate a good meal!

nah he is fine

Peroxide Cowboy
Nov 30, 2013

"One major point of concern includes the seemingly silent alterations to the Terms of Service. In total, a revision to the Terms of Service includes 178 removals and 199 additions, and was instated after the initial release window for Star Citizen had already passed."

:lol:

SquirrelGrip
Jul 4, 2012

lol

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Goredema posted:

Some of the best content for Star Citizen was produced by goons. That should've been our first warning sign. :ohdear:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwjj4e1VRfc

I don't think this has been eclipsed as my favorite SC thing.

KakerMix
Apr 8, 2004

8.2 M.P.G.
:byetankie:

i dont like this sir

jaegerx
Sep 10, 2012

Maybe this post will get me on your ignore list!


Dusty Lens posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwjj4e1VRfc

I don't think this has been eclipsed as my favorite SC thing.

Oh no. The one where he smashes the computer to stop him buying the mouse pad. Easily the best.

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003

starry skies above posted:

When did things change such that all goons now have to say about Star Citizen is endless derision?
About two weeks ago.

jaegerx posted:

Oh no. The one where he smashes the computer to stop him buying the mouse pad. Easily the best.
Easily.

KakerMix
Apr 8, 2004

8.2 M.P.G.
:byetankie:

jaegerx posted:

Oh no. The one where he smashes the computer to stop him buying the mouse pad. Easily the best.

That's the one with that dude who used to be on a family-friendly TV show in the 80s and became the religious nutjob guy that runs around with the other dude who whips out bananas and peanut butter as proof of god right? That one is the best yeah

Mr SoupTeeth
Jan 16, 2015

Dusty Lens posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwjj4e1VRfc

I don't think this has been eclipsed as my favorite SC thing.

No price is too high for a voyage on the USS Sucklord.

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

KakerMix posted:

i dont like this sir

It's an excruciating video, but I feel everyone should have to watch it. If you can sit through the entire thing then you've entered the real man's world

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003
Also, these made by Arkimedes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx7UIFfeTUw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEuY6-UM8VI

Kalenn Istarion
Nov 2, 2012

Maybe Senpai will finally notice me now that I've dropped :fivebux: on this snazzy av

OhDearGodNo posted:

Even if every goon received a refund, it would be a very small dent in the total spent.


Unless they really only have 8m left.

I would be shocked if SA had exclusive rights on this idea.

Wulfling posted:

I miss the old WMH with Eric and Rob and Mark.

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Karl_Ramseier
Aug 21, 2015

I don't have to work very hard at being an asshole. It comes naturally.

No practice needed.

Since Goons ruin everything, I'm pretending to be a Goon for Halloween!

Dante80 posted:

A question. Could the fact that CIG has been seeking corporate investors since 2013 mean they are not really in danger financially due to (private) investor deals made these last 2 years?

I wouldn't be surprised...

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