Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »

Orions Lord: May 21, 2012

I believe I need some beers

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:39

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Can you sex a ship with your ship in space?

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:11

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

SneakyFrog posted:

not the OG parp.. but a rare parp

by the way peter i need the original airhorn parp yo.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:12

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Paladinus posted:

Can you sex a ship with your ship in space?

touch cargo scoops, its intimate. *

_{_{_{* in elite dangerous}}}

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:13

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

peter gabriel posted:

I am a collector of rare PAAAAAARPs.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:13

Skoll: Jul 26, 2013; Oh You'll Love My Toxic Love; Grimey Drawer

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2015/10/29/paradox-white-wolf/

Maybe we'll finally get a sequel to Bloodlines.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:23

moonraker: Oct 29, 2015

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:26

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Hav posted:

This is an interesting roundup of the problems that CCP faced: http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/jun/05/world-of-darkness-the-inside-story-mmo-ccp-white-wolf

Sounds familiar.

I think this section is even more relevant, since it sounds like a fairly close parallel to the designer resignation letter that came out a few months ago, especially when combined with the Escapist rant:

quote:

For the coders there was a constant state of flux. �Almost every system in the game was designed, built and tested at least once, most of them multiple times,� says one gameplay programmer. �Some of the systems were reportedly pretty cool; they had never been seen in MMOs before. The problem was that, without a cogent vision, none of it gelled. There was no clear path towards �done�.

"So the team just ended up building stuff and throwing it away, over and over again. It's something I saw on Eve and Dust as well - the teams would build a feature, then be told by management to make �small changes� which necessitated a full, back-to-square-one rewrite.�

This constant build and rebuild approach meant massive issues in the development process. Features that were good enough to retain in one build had to be redesigned from scratch for the next because so many other interconnected parts had changed. Even when there was enough to play, internal testing revealed a confused and unfocused experience.

Most of the sources spoken to for this piece identified the same problematic CCP manager, who had little vision for what the finished game would look like.

�Not once could he answer any question about moment-to-moment gameplay or areas of focus,� says one source. �Instead, he preferred to deliver buzzword-laden rambles� It was not uncommon for him to communicate in onomatopoeia.

�One manager couldn't answer questions on gameplay or focus. I remember him standing over the shoulder of a programmer putting his finger to his lips and saying 'No - make it more... psssshhhh��

That bit of absolutely astounding direction and management excellence even spawned its own little EVEO meme�

At any rate, the ingredients are eerily similar: split studios, no coherent (or at least cogently communicated) direction, constantly changing end goals, a chest-beating and ego-driven culture. It's almost as if there's a pattern here.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:27

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

holy moley

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:30

Amun Khonsu: Sep 15, 2012; wtf did he just say?; Grimey Drawer

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

lol. love the arms

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:32

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

:captainpop:

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:34

Das Gray: Jun 26, 2015; Wishes life was in Everquest classic graphics.; Lipstick Apathy

Gonna read that fanfic and attempt to not reenact the "turn it off" scene in Hardcore.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:35

ijyt: Apr 10, 2012

At this point is there anyone even buying ships any more or do I just go for a refund.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:36

Skoll: Jul 26, 2013; Oh You'll Love My Toxic Love; Grimey Drawer

ijyt posted:

At this point is there anyone even buying ships any more or do I just go for a refund.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:37

Thronde: Aug 4, 2012; Fun Shoe

Skoll posted:

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:39

Amun Khonsu: Sep 15, 2012; wtf did he just say?; Grimey Drawer

AP posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

Um, Ben, I dont think that is "wind"

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:50

Lodin: Jul 31, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Alan Smithee posted:

Chris McMahon: "IT WAS ME AWFUL"

Thanks for the inspiration. Gonna try to recreate Derek and Chris and do something like this.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:52

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Lodin posted:

Thanks for the inspiration. Gonna try to recreate Derek and Chris and do something like this.

2K16 doesn't have a story-creator mode, so you can't.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:55

2DCAT: Jun 25, 2015; pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssss sssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssss; Gravy Boat 2k

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

# ? Oct 29, 2015 16:57

dogboy: Jul 21, 2009; hurr; Grimey Drawer

Fish Fry Andy posted:

Here's the full version for you guys.

I am feeding choice bits of this into http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/tts_example.php and it is hypnotizing and slowly turning me insane. But I can't stop.

quote:

Chris watched as Ben tore into the turkey, licking the outside first to ensure none of the delicious grease fell onto the floor. His face was a mask of indifference.

Best watched in "English, Ashley(US), Pitch, Lower (or Highest)".

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:04

BigMouthSingers: Oct 15, 2015; I still subscribe because the puzzlebox tells me to.

Star Citizen.... you're playing right now.

Eonwe posted:

like ive only ever really posted here to mock star citizen, but how can I mock something that is like recursively self mocking

you can't vaudeville vaudeville

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:08

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

dogboy posted:

I am feeding choice bits of this into http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/tts_example.php and it is hypnotizing and slowly turning me insane. But I can't stop.

Best watched in "English, Ashley(US), Pitch, Lower (or Highest)".

Uh, thanks for that?

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:10

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

quote:

From: Derek Smart dsmart@3000ad.com
To: lowtax@somethingawful.com
Cc: legal@3000ad.com
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 2:20 PM
Subject: UC parody review on SA

Lowtax,

I get the whole "parody" thing (always have) but please don't misrepresent what happened with the folks at eToyChest.

First of all, here is the review and comments and below is a statement that Michael "Cuthbert" Marks made. My comments about having my attorneys contact him had NOTHING to do with the review whatsoever. I don't give a toss about the review and this is quite clearly stated in my comments to the review on his website.

This comment in his forum, clearly states his intent as to the "review" of the game.

"I had actually planned on editing the review in regards to this, the morning after it was posted. Of course, when I got in to work, I saw the shitstorm he was brewing up here, and on his website, and decided to leave it how it was.

Like 99% of the gaming community, I was barely aware of who Derek Smart was before I started writing the review. I had played his other games, but I never paid attention to his hijinx. If I knew then what I know now, the review would have probably been more caustic than it was. The guy's a sociopathic bully, and that's the main reason why he can't get a good game released.

Oh, well. None of this even matters, really. The release of this game is a non-issue. Nobody cares. The only interesting thing that can come from this game's release is seeing how many lawsuits he ends up filing to cover up how bad his game is. That does seem to be his M.O., after all."

And there is parody and then their is libel. Stating as fact that I was convicted of bank fraud, is NOT funny - and I can 100% guarantee you, is not within the legal guidelines of fair use parody. Especially since you clearly describe the topic as an intent to libel. I am asking you nicely to please remove or rephrase it in your article.

And just so you don't go and - once again - type up poo poo that I didn't say, I have bcc'ed several third parties on this email.

Look, I know some of you think you're above the law because you are on the net, but I never have and never will take legal action against ANYONE in the media. But if you bastards make me set an example, it won't be a good one. And trust me - I don't think any of you have enough pennies to rub together to outspend me. So whatever you do, don't test my resolve. I'm NOT taking this poo poo anymore.

You will not get another email from me about this. Just remember that I did send it.

DS
__________________________________________________________________________
Derek Smart Ph.D.
Designer/Lead Developer
Universal Combat - The Future Of Engagement
Imagine It. Do it. No limits.

"Squirrels with very cold paws have less trouble getting into peanut
butter than the average uninitiated Homo Sapien has in getting into a
Battlecruiser game. - Tim Stone, PC Gamer #133 Review"
My reply:

From: lowtax@somethingawful.com
To: Derek Smart
Sent: Wednesday, March 03, 2004 4:19 PM
Subject: Re: UC parody review on SA

Dear Doctor Smart,

As per your request, I have changed the offending remark.

"When he was convicted of bank fraud in 1994"

has been altered to:

"When he was convicted of bank fraud and raping an entire petting zoo in 1994"

I hope this is satisfactory.

- Dr. Richard Kyanka, PHD

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:11

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:12

Kimsemus: Dec 4, 2013; by Reene; Toilet Rascal

moonraker posted:

A tribute to the weekly bullshit show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szhOYS3vgUg

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:13

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Derek Smart, PhD.

Chris Roberts, JPG.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:14

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Paladinus posted:

Derek Smart, PhD.

Chris Roberts, JPG.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:14

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

Paladinus posted:

Derek Smart, PhD.

Chris Roberts, JPG.

They're both imaginary too.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:16

Don Dongington: Sep 27, 2005; #ideasboom; College Slice

I went looking for a good pubbie quote to use for a dumb meme and stumbled upon this shitshow:

:gary:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3qng06/wow_i_just_found_out_about_this_game_and_i_am/

I.. just... :negative:

The comments. The absolutely blind optimism... the cognitive dissonance is just...

Some psyche PHD should do a thesis on these assholes.

:gary:

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:16

Nickiepoo: Jun 24, 2013

SneakyFrog posted:

me too.. the idea of a bunch of roleplaying vampires just seemed like a great thing to crash a clown car into.

One of the old Vampire games, Redemption, had online roleplaying/DM modes and yeah, it was pretty much infinite amounts of fun loving with people trying to take the whole thing seriously.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:17

Sedisp: Jun 20, 2012

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3qng06/wow_i_just_found_out_about_this_game_and_i_am/cwh8yd9

quote:

Welcome. Pull up a chair, have a beer, and enjoy the ride. We're still looking at a year or so before it's all in place, so sit a spell and listen

WHAT?! How in the world do you see the broken mess that currently exists and say "yeah a year more will see a release"

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:21

Amun Khonsu: Sep 15, 2012; wtf did he just say?; Grimey Drawer

Sedisp posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3qng06/wow_i_just_found_out_about_this_game_and_i_am/cwh8yd9

WHAT?! How in the world do you see the broken mess that currently exists and say "yeah a year more will see a release"

I saw that. Seems the only sense in that thread got downvoted to hell. Shows how retarded these people are.

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/3qng06/wow_i_just_found_out_about_this_game_and_i_am/cwgwufb

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:25

Don Dongington: Sep 27, 2005; #ideasboom; College Slice

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:27

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

So our new contender for my WIP blog (latest PDF export) on the abusive White Knights in the Star Citizen community, is [url=]Cristian Romero[/url] aka /user/Tr3vayne/ aka @tr3vayne aka White Knight tr3vayne aka MES3rd on Facebook

If you look at his Reddit and Twitter feeds, he is another one of my top cyberharassers (I'm rounding them all up like cattle, for the blog, then I'm going to link to all their social media feeds) who has engaged in not only doxing me, but also my kid and family members.

"Found his kid online, looks exactly like him."

"Guy needs to go away already for good."

Hey Cristian, since you're an adult over 30, with an actual job, and living in a State (Chula Vista, CA) that has some serious defamation laws like Florida. I'm coming for you. Pucker up.

The list of Usual Suspects thus far; all of who are engaged in a protracted CyberHarassment & CyberBullying campaign. Still reviewing and researching the others. Every single one of them is going to face legal action; and they are all going to be tied to Star Citizen and its abusive White Knight community.

Cristian Romero
Keith Elwood
Nick Butler
Trevor Noblitt
Wulf Knight

D_Smart fucked around with this message at 17:33 on Oct 29, 2015

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:27

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

Don Dongington posted:

As in "F'you, you call that squeezing money out of nerds? I just sold some retard a $2500 space ship that doesn't even exist!! Suck on that, publishers. You wish you had balls this big"

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:28

Lodin: Jul 31, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

DoctorStrangelove posted:

2K16 doesn't have a story-creator mode, so you can't.

Yeah, sadly. I was actually just thinking of having Chris strutting to the ring with the phone-intro and then do a run in with Derek. What kind of special would he have?

Also, Derek, if you're reading this, I hope it's ok if I recreate you in a wrestling game. Please don't sue me!

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:29

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

D_Smart posted:

Cristian Romero
Keith Elwood
Nick Butler
Trevor Noblitt
Wulf Knight

im not an anime person, but eonwe is.

can we get a deathnote.gif

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:29

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

he's making a naughty list.

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:30

Truga: May 4, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

D_Smart posted:

ayy lmao

Can we just move this thread to the helldump subforum?

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:39

Don Dongington: Sep 27, 2005; #ideasboom; College Slice

Chalks posted:

As in "F'you, you call that squeezing money out of nerds? I just sold some retard a $2500 space ship that doesn't even exist!! Suck on that, publishers. You wish you had balls this big"

That or "F'you, once we're done, the crowdfunding model will be so ruined as to be toxic to any new game announcement. Later, Shitlords!"

# ? Oct 29, 2015 17:32

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »