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spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

KiddieGrinder posted:

I don't think his shirt buttons are going to reach those stretch goals. :ohdear:

I know some of you have made comments about Ben getting surgery, but I don't think that will help him. People who get stomach staples, lipo, etc will be right back in the same place they started at if they don't change their habits.

Ben (or Ben underling) if you're reading this, just drink water. I know you're probably drinking a lot of sugar every day. Just drink water. Eat all the same crap you have been eating, but stop drinking anything that isn't just plain water.

I think you'd be surprised at how much better you'll feel (and I bet you'd drop a small child's weight over several months too!).

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Dunite
Oct 12, 2013

spacetoaster posted:

I think you'd be surprised at how much better you'll feel (and I bet you'd drop a small child's weight over several months too!).

Ben can never lose a small child's weight because he has been cursed by Chris Himself to carry the mass of all the unborn children aborted so nerds can invest those future children's college funds in jpegs.

fargom
Mar 21, 2007

spacetoaster posted:

I know some of you have made comments about Ben getting surgery, but I don't think that will help him. People who get stomach staples, lipo, etc will be right back in the same place they started at if they don't change their habits.

Ben (or Ben underling) if you're reading this, just drink water. I know you're probably drinking a lot of sugar every day. Just drink water. Eat all the same crap you have been eating, but stop drinking anything that isn't just plain water.

I think you'd be surprised at how much better you'll feel (and I bet you'd drop a small child's weight over several months too!).

Diet soda tastes better.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



fargom posted:

Diet soda tastes better.

lies

water > *

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Lord why have you forsaken us? :negative:

MrDorf
Apr 28, 2006

Grimey Drawer

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

lies

water > *

With those little flavor sprays water is pretty much all anyone needs.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

fargom posted:

Diet soda tastes better.

:doh:

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

lies

water > *

^^^^^ :colbert:

Solvency
Apr 28, 2008

Trade, sir! Discover it! This is you, this is a clue. Get a clue, discover trade!

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

lies

water > *

tea > water

and healthier (as long as you don't put in sugar or milk)

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice
https://twitter.com/dsmart/status/661634149761970176

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

MrDorf posted:

With those little flavor sprays water is pretty much all anyone needs.

If you like ingesting aspartic acid, menthol, and phenylalanine (this is what aspartame is made from).

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003
Derek is diddling us right now.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHoNWwhzh3M

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015





so in two weeks or 10 days?

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001


lol

Tarranon
Oct 10, 2007

Diggity Dog

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

lies

water > *

the badass healthy it workers of the goon sc thread want you to know: water kicks rear end!

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

DEREK! I bet another star shitizen three top quality jpegs that your blog wouldn't be delayed. You owe me three jpegs.

fargom
Mar 21, 2007

spacetoaster posted:

If you like ingesting aspartic acid, menthol, and phenylalanine (this is what aspartame is made from).

Is this bad? If something is hard to pronounce is it bad to eat?

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

Tarquinn
Jul 3, 2007

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."



Hell Gem
Legal ate DSmarts homework.

ShiroTheSniper
Mar 19, 2009

I see dead arrows.
Lipstick Apathy
SC cultist laughing at DS for his 1h-2h blog delay while SC is 2 years late.

:gary: PAAAAAAAAAAAARP

Tarquinn
Jul 3, 2007

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."



Hell Gem
Sorry, I meant still checking and blog.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

fargom posted:

Is this bad? If something is hard to pronounce is it bad to eat?

Yeah, it's bad.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

fargom posted:

Is this bad? If something is hard to pronounce is it bad to eat?

No. Aspartame has numerous health benefits and is also loving delicious.

LLJKSiLk
Jul 7, 2005

by Athanatos


Was going through the January 2015 PC Gamer and ran across this, had a good laugh.

Tank Boy Ken
Aug 24, 2012
J4G for life
Fallen Rib

I give it to whoever. Smart Bingo is funny :).

Plankalkuel
Mar 29, 2008

I want to play that :allears:

Derek, let slip the dogs of warlegal!

Bootcha
Nov 13, 2012

Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending
Grimey Drawer
While we wait to release the blogs of war...

An oldie but goodie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykXCSubgaYI

In this case you can change the lyrics to

Derek Smart! Derek Smart!
Let my jpegs go!

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
that bingo sheet owns

fargom
Mar 21, 2007

spacetoaster posted:

Yeah, it's bad.

Do you buy your water bottled with a nice sprig of asparagus?

Nicholas
Mar 7, 2001

Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?

this is pretty spot on

Kakarot
Jul 20, 2013

by zen death robot
Buglord

Solvency posted:

tea > water

and healthier (as long as you don't put in sugar or milk)

wtf...put in milk man(unless its like green tea or something)7

Nemo2342
Nov 26, 2007

Have A Day




Nap Ghost

Beet Wagon posted:

I don't think Derek could ever fail. There's really nothing he does that isn't funny in some way. But then again I like to poo poo on all the things, so I guess I'm a "glass half full" kind of guy.

Derek cannot fail, he can only be failed.

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

fargom posted:

Do you buy your water bottled with a nice sprig of asparagus?

Nah, I just drink tap water.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Why was I such a fool. Do you think I can still get one of the completionist packages for a decent price in the grey market?

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is

spacetoaster posted:

I know some of you have made comments about Ben getting surgery, but I don't think that will help him. People who get stomach staples, lipo, etc will be right back in the same place they started at if they don't change their habits.

Ben (or Ben underling) if you're reading this, just drink water. I know you're probably drinking a lot of sugar every day. Just drink water. Eat all the same crap you have been eating, but stop drinking anything that isn't just plain water.

I think you'd be surprised at how much better you'll feel (and I bet you'd drop a small child's weight over several months too!).

Ben if you are reading this, continue to ignore all these fat shaming bigots. Being morbidly obese is simply a life ending choice. In fact, I would start drinking straight mayonnaise from now on because gently caress anybody who tells you being fat is somehow wrong.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Derek Smart post the blog


This is a goon.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015






"Changes his SA avatar back"

thatguy
Feb 5, 2003

Bootcha posted:

While we wait to release the blogs of war...

An oldie but goodie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykXCSubgaYI

In this case you can change the lyrics to

Derek Smart! Derek Smart!
Let my jpegs go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A07tDouATcE

MrDorf
Apr 28, 2006

Grimey Drawer

spacetoaster posted:

If you like ingesting aspartic acid, menthol, and phenylalanine (this is what aspartame is made from).

Compared to the Monster I'd probably drink otherwise, a little aspartame is still a massive victory toward not dying in my 30's.

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Penguin Bacon
Apr 19, 2010

That is a jpeg worth paying for.

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