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SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Jared, make a note of the word 'gobbledegook'! I want to use it in our press releases more often.

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Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Blackmjolnir posted:

Why do you need an entire loving mocap studio for a spaceship game. I do not understand. How can SC backer be so monumentally stupid

Lots and lots of sex scenes.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Blackmjolnir posted:

Why do you need an entire loving mocap studio for a spaceship game. I do not understand. How can SC backer be so monumentally stupid

Not A mocap studio. FOUR of them.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
still laughing

Victory Position
Mar 16, 2004

skaboomizzy posted:

Not A mocap studio. FOUR of them.

and space from a place reputable enough to shoot footage for Disney to boot :gonk:

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
star citizen backer: i want this video game, but its entirely acceptable (actually even good) for star citizen development if CIG buys multiple mocap studios

Nickiepoo
Jun 24, 2013

Blackmjolnir posted:

Why do you need an entire loving mocap studio for a spaceship dream.

Because of the word I fixed there for you.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

OhDearGodNo posted:



e: for the curious nerds I once asked several questions and got a reply. I'll shorten the answers:

- None of the physical hardware will be outside of Google's DCs. It's all in the butt.

- They have 'custom built' provisioning that manages processes. They stated 'layers' however it sounds like they're relying on the provider to manage resources. There's no actual information on this, and to be honest if they are able to make something like this that can handle provisioning on this level they will make billions just selling that outside of a game.

Put it this way: Currently, cloud datacenter providers either do not offer any SLA-based guarantee when it comes to VM/container dynamic provisioning. This is because there's no way to guarantee that on-demand allocation will work smoothly. There some ways that can help such as Cassandra, ØMQ, Triton, etc to optimize performance you're still looking at an enormous cost- Well over 90 million.

Enter Docker, which is open source but in no way does it seem that other than being able to provide the capability to actually DO it, can it do it with high-performance in mind. There's also the fact that you need to get it all working together smoothly.

Toss that in with all these tools being managed by a "custom layer" and given CIG's track record in IT I have zero confidence in this ever working as advertised.

- Chris Roberts doesn't know a VM from container. They plan to use containers. I find it funny because I don't see anyu This will be handled by the aforementioned "custom provisioner/scheduler" in real time. Octopode probably has a theory since he manages 3 datacenters when not studying trade law.
:vince:

OhDearGodNo posted:

Now, this is where it gets funny:

- The GIM does none of the resource allocation. All of the GIM's requests go to this "custom privisioner/scheduler" that makes the calls/requests for additional resources. However, the GIM will manage the data between these. They never stated how this will be managed, synced, verified, nor how well in can handle in a live, "twitch" based environment. I mean, it can work when you have a business web application or even something turn or strategy based. But think of something in the realm of Battlefield 4, only scaled up 1000x more demanding.


- They will handle ACLs, Firewalls, and internal routing. External advertisements, load balancing, etc will be handled by Google. This will never cause any problems whatsoever. I mean, they handled AWS security so well.
I really appreciate posts like this, OhDearGodNo.

It's a helpful reminder that, while CIG finds it nearly impossible to do even mundane stuff (fixing crosshairs in an FPS shooter engine, printing and shipping a decent travel mug, issuing a timely refund, letting a PR rep handle a crisis, hosting a cosplay competition, treating people decently), they have also promised to achieve the impossible.

I only hope Beer can finish brewing "Bitter Tears" before this whole thing ceremoniously implodes.

ShredsYouSay
Sep 22, 2011

How's his widow holding up?
Lesnick: I have a cunning plan my lord. We do nothing on the game until AFTER we run out of money.

Chris: and that's when we spring in to action?

Matlock Birthmark
Sep 24, 2005

I wanted this to happen!!
Soiled Meat

Eonwe posted:

did you guys know that CIG used to work on something called star citizen

Yup. In fact they still are, depending on your definition of work.

Oh, I haven't posted since the popsicle sticks were added. Apparently I'm soiled meat now.

LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010

Today I'm... amped up!

ShredsYouSay posted:

Lesnick: I have a cunning plan my lord. We do nothing on the game until AFTER we run out of money.

Chris: and that's when we spring in to action?

Actually, that probably is their plan. Run out of money, beg for more cash, and subtly threaten that without more money their dreams, the 'Verse, and money will waste away!

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

ShredsYouSay posted:

Lesnick: I have a cunning plan my lord. We do nothing on the game until AFTER we run out of money.

Chris: and that's when we spring in to action?
In the background DickWulf is going "Woof! Woof! The last time I called anyone darling she had a dickpic in her email ten minutes later."

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Eonwe posted:

did you guys know that CIG used to work on something called star citizen

hosed up if true.

Io_
Oct 15, 2012

woo woo

Pillbug

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

This sounds hilarious. What kind of beer would it be?

The obvious choice would be a bitter ale... maybe call it riggwelter which is yorkshire for a "sheep stuck on it's back".

A pretty apt description of the Shitizens.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.


A quick dummy mockup of a label for "Bitter Tears" - though it doesn't have typographical elements or anything yet.

It would be really funny to go to the effort of having him be on the label of the beer he is bitterly drinking.

(Just one opinion-- it could be anything and still be funny.)

G0RF fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Nov 6, 2015

PhallicPhalanges
Jun 9, 2015


Her navel is all time musky... Bt look at her face... Her face makes my ROD wakes

Another masterpiece!

ShredsYouSay
Sep 22, 2011

How's his widow holding up?

SelenicMartian posted:

In the background DickWulf is going "Woof! Woof! The last time I called anyone darling she had a dickpic in her email ten minutes later."

Sandi: oh Jared, sometimes I think of having you fired just to see the look on your face

Differo Cathedra
Oct 9, 2012

To be honest it was 4AM when I started making the gif and even I don't know what it's supposed to be about by the time I finished it an hour and a few GIS searches later :effort:


G0RF posted:

I really appreciate posts like this, OhDearGodNo.


Yeah, thanks OhDearGodNo. Effortposts like yours makes reading this thread bearable in these parping times.

quote:


It's a helpful reminder that, while CIG finds it nearly impossible to do even mundane stuff (fixing crosshairs in an FPS shooter engine, printing and shipping a decent travel mug, issuing a timely refund, letting a PR rep handle a crisis, hosting a cosplay competition, treating people decently), they have also promised to achieve the impossible.

I only hope Beer can finish brewing "Bitter Tears" before this whole thing ceremoniously implodes.

:stonk:

Is there more to this cosplay story?

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

ShredsYouSay posted:

Lesnick: I have a cunning plan my lord. We do nothing on the game until they actually invent space travel and then sue them for copying us!

Chris: CANT HEAR YOU WITH ALL THESE MOCAP BALLS ON MY FACE

fify

Blackmjolnir
Mar 30, 2010

Bitchesss

Croberts could ask for the first born sons of every backer with the express purpose of cutting out and selling their organs on the black market to fund development and some idiot would post on reddit about how wow look at CIG THREATENING THE BIG GUYS and everyone would lap it up and oh my god they're all so stupid.

Berious
Nov 13, 2005
It's going to be some prime gloating when this shitshow comes crashing down.

Make it happen Derek.

Beexoffel
Oct 4, 2015

Herald of the Stimpire

ShredsYouSay posted:

Lesnick: I have a cunning plan my lord. We do nothing on the game until AFTER we run out of money.

Chris: and that's when we spring in to action?

Lieutenant Lesnick: Oh, sir, if we should happen to tread on a lawsuit, what do we do?

Captain Roberts: Well, normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump on an airplane out of the country and scatter your money over many companies.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Blackmjolnir posted:

Croberts could ask for the first born sons of every backer with the express purpose of cutting out and selling their organs on the black market to fund development and some idiot would post on reddit about how wow look at CIG THREATENING THE BIG GUYS and everyone would lap it up and oh my god they're all so stupid.

You will not ruin my dreams of being Captain Spockirkard!

tooterfish
Jul 13, 2013

SelenicMartian posted:

In the background DickWulf is going "Woof! Woof! The last time I called anyone darling she had a dickpic in her email ten minutes later."
Please don't associate that charisma vacuum with the glory that was Rik Mayall.

Lodin
Jul 31, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
It really does make so much sense that Croberts is Black Adder, Lesnick is Baldrick and Sandi is Queen Elizabeth.
But who is Derek then?

Berious
Nov 13, 2005

Lodin posted:

It really does make so much sense that Croberts is Black Adder, Lesnick is Baldrick and Sandi is Queen Elizabeth.
But who is Derek then?

Derek is Lord Flashheart

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug

Lodin posted:

It really does make so much sense that Croberts is Black Adder, Lesnick is Baldrick and Sandi is Queen Elizabeth.
But who is Derek then?

Smart is Blackadder, Croberts is Prince George.
Prince George spent thousands on outrageous pants for example.

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy


Something is up.

ShredsYouSay
Sep 22, 2011

How's his widow holding up?
Derek is Prince Ludwig the Indestructible. Constantly mocked and derided but ultimately successful.

ShredsYouSay fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Nov 6, 2015

Hopper
Dec 28, 2004

BOOING! BOOING!
Grimey Drawer

Omi-Polari posted:



Something is up.

At least one of us in here said it was from Twin Bros. Mail to Derek, you know you want to!

CLAM DOWN
Feb 13, 2007




Mine was definitely from Cloud Imperium Games :shrug:

xanif
Nov 3, 2010

Beer: Who was your first kill, not counting old men?
Eonwe: One of the outlaws in the Brotherhood.
Seraph84: I was there that day. You were only a squire, sixteen years old.
Eonwe: You killed Friendly Tumour with a counter-post. Best move I ever saw.
Oven Wrangler

Berious posted:

It's going to be some prime gloating when this shitshow comes crashing down.

Make it happen Derek.

Yea, but it will still be our "fault."

CIG mishandling money, terrible hardware decisions, backwards progress, micro-management may all come to light but it will still be Derek Smart and his goon lackeys that are responsible for ruining the dream.

"CR just needed some more money and time! I know they were 3 years behind on development but you can't rush perfection! YOU ALL DID THIS!"

Matlock Birthmark
Sep 24, 2005

I wanted this to happen!!
Soiled Meat

xanif posted:

"CR just needed some more money and time! I know they were 3 years behind on development but you can't rush perfection! YOU ALL DID THIS!"

I certainly will wear that as a badge of pride. Took down the savior of PC gaming by shitposting.

Hell, no offense intended to him, but this is the most relevant Dsmarts been in years.

CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."

CLAM DOWN posted:

Mine was definitely from Cloud Imperium Games :shrug:

Same here. I think most of the latest refunds were from CIG TBH, though some from early October and September were from those other companies.

Lord_NeckBeard
Oct 26, 2015
Could someone repost that list of high level employees who left as well as the list of companies making star citizen?

TheScott2K
Oct 26, 2003

I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.
Wait...the Battlecruiser guy who spent years arguing with people on Usenet about his garbage vaporware space combat game...that Derek Smart?!

I am so glad I found this thread.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

happyhippy posted:

Smart is Blackadder, Croberts is Prince George.
Prince George spent thousands on outrageous pants for example.
Honestly, neither Chris not Derek is BlackAdder. Derek's got the bluster but his typical riposte is more like "Star Citizen will fail. THE END." Which is a far cry from Blackadder's eviscerating ripostes.

Derek is more like Pip the Younger-- trying to bankrupt an incompetent Prince. And Chris is definitely that prince.

If there was a Blackadder it was probably Beer.

Alighieri
Dec 10, 2005


:dukedog:

Went to the CIG homepage. Noticed they haven't posted an update since August after previously always posting an update at least once a month for almost 2 1/2 years and never missing two months in a row. I laughed.

Nicholas
Mar 7, 2001

Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?
I've been keeping a spreadsheet of goons who have reported refunds and where they came from. At least 5 remorseful idiots have gotten refunds from Twin Bros

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a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

Alighieri posted:

Went to the CIG homepage. Noticed they haven't posted an update since August after previously always posting an update at least once a month for almost 2 1/2 years and never missing two months in a row. I laughed.

they are moving office

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