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elle vee posted:I'm 38 weeks along today and my in-laws are planning to visit after our daughter is born. Somewhat belatedly, I just told them that they'll need a flu shot and a Tdap before they arrive. My m-i-l just cavalierly informed me that she "doesn't believe in flu shots and has never had one" and that the pertussis vaccine she got when my husband was born confers lifelong immunity, so they're "good to go". They are correct about tdap, and it's certain she didn't get one. I applaud your position and hope your partner is onboard with making your child's health a bigger priority than your MIL's opinions.
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Nov 21, 2015 03:58
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We went through the same thing and held firm on the "if you don't get vaccinated you can see him in 6 months after he has gotten his vaccines," They stuck it out for a bit but did end up getting vaccinated.
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Nov 21, 2015 04:05
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Would you need them to show you a letter from the doctors showing they'd had it done?--I only ask because knowing my family I'll certainly have to. Also both grandmothers and one grandad smoke like chimneys. Just as well we live a drat long way away so they can't just drop by 
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Nov 21, 2015 07:35
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nyerf posted:Would you need them to show you a letter from the doctors showing they'd had it done?--I only ask because knowing my family I'll certainly have to. Also both grandmothers and one grandad smoke like chimneys. Just as well we live a drat long way away so they can't just drop by Thanks for the support everyone. We are going to have a phone call with them this weekend, because if we don't hash this out then they'll show up unvaccinated. If they say no, I'm prepared to hold the line that sheri said and tell them they can come down in 6 months. I'm hoping it's just a misunderstanding, that they don't understand the importance of it, and they agree it's one of the most important things they can do to protect their granddaughter. If they fight us on it, they'll have to show me a letter from the doctor. I have an uncle who smokes like a chimney too. Everything he sends us, from cards to things made of metal, reeks of smoke. I don't know what we're going to do when he shows up, probably lather him up to the elbows and change him into one of my husband's shirts... or a bunny suit every time he wants to hold her. 
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Nov 21, 2015 14:32
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Is soaking in a hot(37C to 43C) spring likely going to kill me or baby at 21 weeks? There's a massive warning on the hot springs website we were thinking of visiting this weekend for our 2nd wedding anniversary. Also would dry needling or acupuncture or a deep tissue massage while lying on my front be dangerous(maybe for an hour or so)? I'm still ok with sleeping on my belly at the moment, though sometimes I find myself rolling onto my back in my sleep and staying that way despite historically hating sleeping on my back. Weird. Feeling pretty good these days- finished knitting a rug/blanket for baby and started a cardigan, hopefully won't take as long. Antenatal were chasing me all week to get me in to talk about the 19 week scan results so I'm seeing them next Tuesday. I know what it's about, my coworker thought our placenta was a little low and my cervix was slightly short. I can afford to be blasé/stubbornly optimistic though, since I've checked myself dozens of times at different times with differently filled bladder and I'm happy with what I've seen. It'll be interesting to see what they tell me. We're set up with a doula and catching up with her in January for some preliminary sessions before the birth, and we're booked in for antenatal classes in February. Slowly getting other stuff sorted for the kid, probably should get a couple of bottles since I'll be pumping as much as I can but I don't know what sort I'll need yet.
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Nov 22, 2015 08:20
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That should be fine at 21 weeks. Those warnings are more about liability than risk. Just don't go into the bath alone, and stop as soon as you feel light headed or uncomfortable. Edit: I live in  and the birthrate would drop to zero if hot springs were b&. I've only heard of high-risk women in first/third trimester being limited to showers.
peanut fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Nov 23, 2015 |
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Nov 22, 2015 09:59
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I've heard the warning on overheating while pregnant so many times, but I'm not sure how true it is. Has anyone seen or know of any studies on it? Genuinely curious.
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Nov 22, 2015 12:48
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It's been demonstrated in animals-defects in organ development and central nervous system development. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1862577/ It sounds like you should be fine, just try not to overdo it.
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Nov 22, 2015 14:46
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Would anyone be willing to share what they are paying for Doula services? There is 1 in my immediate area and 6 total for my general area. I am just curious to compare pricing.
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Nov 22, 2015 22:52
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http://www.birth-journey.com/services.html $500. You can see what the got me at the link.
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Nov 22, 2015 23:02
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SuzieMcAwesome posted:Would anyone be willing to share what they are paying for Doula services? There is 1 in my immediate area and 6 total for my general area. I am just curious to compare pricing. Ours was $1700, but we're in the Bay Area...
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Nov 23, 2015 08:19
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amethystbliss posted:Ours was $1700, but we're in the Bay Area... $1800 here, also in the Bay Area
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Nov 24, 2015 00:19
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$800 in the Raleigh-Durham metro area
elle vee fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Nov 24, 2015 |
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Nov 24, 2015 03:52
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Awesome! Thanks guys! I have reached out to 2 of them. One is $550 for day of with lactation assistance and Pre and post natal appointments. The other was about the same $600.
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Nov 24, 2015 09:39
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Nuchal translucency went great!!! Baby kept putting her arms up while the tech tried to get her to roll, it was adorable! The genital nub looks like it's developing into a girl, but the tech stressed that at 13 weeks it could just be a late-developing penis that hasn't differentiated from the female default yet. I saw at least one paper on pubmed suggesting that there's good accuracy at 13 weeks, but I imagine the tech wanted to make sure we didn't hold it against her if she was wrong after all. So given the bit of research I did, I'm pretty sure it's a girl. Husband refuses to be sure of anything- I think he might secretly want a boy...
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Dec 2, 2015 21:21
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I gained a new understanding of why ultrasound techs hedge their boy/girl-predictions so much after my cousin found out at 8 months pregnant that her little baby girl was actually a little baby boy.
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Dec 2, 2015 22:09
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Is there any statistics which gender gets guessed wrong more than the other?
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Dec 3, 2015 00:45
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Alterian posted:Is there any statistics which gender gets guessed wrong more than the other? I don't know about statistics, but from my research (aka I asked my stepmom, who is an ultrasonographer) it seems like false reads tend to be girls. Mostly, I gather, because a penis is definitely identifiable as a penis, but if it's hiding or the view is bad, it could look like a girl.
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Dec 3, 2015 01:10
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I always tell people who want to know that short of a blood test they won't know for sure if kiddo has XX or XY chromosomes, since all we literally do is look between the legs. And since being born intersex/indeterminate genitalia is a thing we're never 100%. It's less difficult to confuse a penis+scrotum for an engorged labia/clitoris, but it can happen. If I'm feeling particularly short on patience I also add that the kid could decide he/she is the wrong gender later anyway, heh.
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Dec 3, 2015 07:25
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I know everyone raves about lanisoh for cracked nipples and baby bottoms, but the stuff is bloody expensive for the miniscule amount you get in a tube. Would pure anhydrous lanolin be fine to use instead? This place sells it by the kilo, and lists usage for breastfeeding nipples so I'm thinking it should be alright: http://www.n-essentials.com.au/Lanolin_Anhydrous_p/rslan.htm The only other sites I've seen that sell bulk lanolin bill it as industrial lubricant, though they sometimes call it 'food-grade' despite the materials safety sheet listing it as toxic to swallow 
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Dec 4, 2015 11:47
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The hospital gave me plain vasoline, hth.
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Dec 4, 2015 12:04
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nyerf posted:This place sells it by the kilo, and lists usage for breastfeeding nipples so I'm thinking it should be alright. Unless you plan on having cracked nipples for the next century you'll never get through even half a kilo of the stuff. I used about half of the small tube i bought, and I used it after every time i nursed for over a month.
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Dec 4, 2015 12:39
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Yeah I have half a tube of my friends that is still useful for my breast pump. I found coconut oil to be more soothing on my nipples.
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Dec 4, 2015 17:55
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I found a small, Lanisoh-sized tube of plain lanolin in the "sensitive skin" aisle at the chemist. Near all the QV wash stuff. It was billed as hand cream, but it was 100% lanolin and it was like $6 instead of whatever double digit figure Lanisoh charges. ETA I managed to get through 17 months of breastfeeding without a single application of Lanisoh or alternatives, though. I just rubbed some breast milk on there after a feed. And I was lucky with a baby who didn't have any latch problems.
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Dec 4, 2015 20:33
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annaconda posted:I just rubbed some breast milk on there after a feed. Yeah, this and letting them airdry after nursing as much as possible (i.e. at home when we didn't have company over), helped me lots. It's almost unavoidable to get sore nipples the first couple of weeks - they go from a sheltered life to suddenly being manhandled every two hours or more, of course they're going to be pretty painful at first. But if you soldier through it (after making sure there are no actual issues, like bad latching or thrush) they'll toughen up, and nursing will become practical and cozy (and painfree).
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Dec 4, 2015 20:58
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My kid is 8 years old and the only reason I've moved on to a second tube is because I'm a knitter and regularly use a tiny bit of it to relanolinize wool diaper covers, hats, and mittens and finally used up the first tube when he was about 6. That poo poo lasts forever.
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Dec 7, 2015 00:24
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Yeah, I got one tube of Lansinoh as a shower gift, then they have me another tube at the hospital. Maybe before buying any, check with the hospital you plan to deliver at and see if they do the same. In addition to using the stuff on my nipples pretty consistently for the first couple of weeks, I used it on my baby when she had diaper rash and I also put some on her lips (she got crazy chapped lips from nursing for the first month or so). Both tubes remain mostly full.
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Dec 7, 2015 03:04
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Unlikely, it's going to be a public ward so no freebies. I might get a few pairs of disposable undies. But they offer water births so yay! The site does sell the lanolin in half kilo tubs too(which cost only like ~$5 more than a 20g tube of your brand name stuff), and we're going to give cloth diapering a good go, so I'm sure I'll find excuses to slather it on everything in sight. Maybe I could knit some double fabric soakers with the raw wool yarn I've got left over from the rug-blanket. I've been getting into the early chapters of Marie Mongan's Hypnobirthing book and it's been eye opening, even with the slightly fruity overtones. I never really realised before how much of my inner monologue easily trends to the negative side of things. I'm making a conscious effort to think in a positive-affirmation framework now, though I'm still finding it hard to not blurt out horribly negative things about my physical state from time to time. I'm not finding it hard at all to be positive about baby and the pregnancy though, which is surprising and nice. Crossing fingers this birth will be uncomplicated and zero intervention. 23 weeks tomorrow! I feel like I'm finally getting into the spirit of things, looking into newborn photography and gleefully contemplating getting a plaster of Paris casting set for when I'm super pregnant so I preserve it for posterity. In my living room.
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Dec 7, 2015 13:59
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Hello all. My wife is around 30 weeks from her first childbirth, and everything is starting to feel very, very real. We did a tour of the birthing center today, and it was extremely reassuring. Nice and quiet, big rooms, 2:1 nurse-to-patient ratio. We had originally been planning to stay home as long as feasible, but now we're seriously considering going in earlier in labor.nyerf posted:I've been getting into the early chapters of Marie Mongan's Hypnobirthing book and it's been eye opening, even with the slightly fruity overtones. I never really realized before how much of my inner monologue easily trends to the negative side of things. I'm making a conscious effort to think in a positive-affirmation framework now, though I'm still finding it hard to not blurt out horribly negative things about my physical state from time to time. I'm not finding it hard at all to be positive about baby and the pregnancy though, which is surprising and nice. Crossing fingers this birth will be uncomplicated and zero intervention. The wife and I read that book together, and one of the big takeaways that we got from it was that it was ok to be not-afraid and positive. So much of what we got about pregnancy beforehand (mostly via osmosis) was either negative or sickly sweet, so the book was amazingly calming for us. We also really like Bardacke's Mindful Birthing, which is similarly calming (and less flowery).
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Dec 7, 2015 17:43
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nyerf posted:Unlikely, it's going to be a public ward so no freebies. I might get a few pairs of disposable undies. But they offer water births so yay! I was in a public hospital in a public maternity ward and they sent me home with a plastic bag stuffed full of newborn huggies, sample size baby sorbelene creams and bubble baths, these little ice pack thingies you wet and freeze yourself (for stitches) and they also gave me a bunch of individual saline squirt packets and sterile gauze wipes as my kid had a bit of a mucky eye going on. While I was on the ward, they pointed out the cupboard where all the baby goodies were and basically said help yourself. When the nurse came to see me for my post-natal check up at home, I was having trouble with nipples and she gave me a tube of lanolin cream. I'd recommend having some on hand just in case though.
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Dec 7, 2015 21:07
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Today is our hump day bump day. (We're at 20 weeks today.) I stand by the terribleness of the joke. 
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Dec 16, 2015 16:25
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How much did everyone budget per month for 'baby' expenses when they found out they were pregnant? I looked a bit into delivery and ultrasound costs on my insurance which looked to be about $2500 total incl C-section. Not sure how much everything else rounds up to assuming full coverage on preventative maternal care.
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Dec 17, 2015 09:31
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Rurutia posted:How much did everyone budget per month for 'baby' expenses when they found out they were pregnant? I looked a bit into delivery and ultrasound costs on my insurance which looked to be about $2500 total incl C-section. Not sure how much everything else rounds up to assuming full coverage on preventative maternal care. Are you talking solely prenatal care and delivery? Everyone's insurance is dramatically different. Max your FSA if you have access to one, but note you can only use it for charges on or after the effective date. (So birthday of your kid, you elect, cannot use it for the "life event" that qualified you aka birth. That's how our benefits person described it to me.) We're looking at around $1500-2000 for delivery if it's $10-15k billed. I didn't formally budget it, but around $100/month isn't unheard of depending on your needs. 2 copays a month, buncha blood work, various ultrasounds, etc. We had already hit our deductible for the year so that reduced our prices, and we have very good insurance. ($25 copay, $500 deductible, 90/10 split.) Consider you start out seeing your doctor less at 0.5-1.0 visits/month, then it ramps up at the end where you're in there weekly (daily at 40+ weeks? I have no idea.) Make sure you're getting your freebie prenatal vitamins. $0 period the end. Anyone of child bearing age can get them. We're going to keep getting them for free so long as our insurance believes we're trying to get pregnant. Probably can do mail order straight to your home. H110Hawk fucked around with this message at 16:35 on Dec 17, 2015 |
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Dec 17, 2015 16:33
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H110Hawk posted:Are you talking solely prenatal care and delivery? Everyone's insurance is dramatically different. Max your FSA if you have access to one, but note you can only use it for charges on or after the effective date. (So birthday of your kid, you elect, cannot use it for the "life event" that qualified you aka birth. That's how our benefits person described it to me.) We're looking at around $1500-2000 for delivery if it's $10-15k billed. Yeah, I assumed everyone would be different based on insurance so I meant I estimated $2500 (rounded to $3000 to be safe) for prenatal + delivery care (assuming C-section even though I'm aiming for vaginal w. epidural). I was curious what everyone budgeted for outside of that. So far I've budgeted $450/mo total for all new expenses and $200/mo for 529 (but that's outside of the scope maybe?) and I'm hoping that'd be enough. We have a lot of savings to pull from if we need to, but I hope not to have to.
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Dec 17, 2015 16:43
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Rurutia posted:Yeah, I assumed everyone would be different based on insurance so I meant I estimated $2500 (rounded to $3000 to be safe) for prenatal + delivery care (assuming C-section even though I'm aiming for vaginal w. epidural). I was curious what everyone budgeted for outside of that. So far I've budgeted $450/mo total for all new expenses and $200/mo for 529 (but that's outside of the scope maybe?) and I'm hoping that'd be enough. We have a lot of savings to pull from if we need to, but I hope not to have to. Total new expenses is a great way to look at it. We're including our 529 in our budget as well. Good news - depending on which state you use, you can start investing today. I opened one with myself as a beneficiary, then you can usually change it with no consequences once per year consult your tax advisor because it matters state to state and plan to plan because THANKS OBAMA. (We're in CA, plan is NH. I think Fidelity suggested it because they manage the fund.) This is sadly accurate: http://www.savingforcollege.com/college-savings-calculator/index.php?childs_age=0&page=results but consider the baseline student loans for undergrad tend to be pretty cheap, even if you take them on yourself. Hopefully in 18 years the government will have managed to improve this situation. $1,000/month is not an unreasonable number all things included if you need some amount of day care, college savings, plus all the consumables (clothing, diapers, etc.) Thankfully to my knowledge all well-child care is included in your insurance now at $0. Make sure if you have access to a dependent care plan at work you utilize it.
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Dec 17, 2015 17:32
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My uncomplicated, completely intervention free (not even iv for fluids) delivery and subsequent 2 day stay was close to $10k, not including prenatal care. Obviously insurance covered a lot, but mine was the barest minimum for charges and it was still a lot. Look at your deductible and out of pocket max. Plan accordingly.
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Dec 17, 2015 19:03
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So excuse me, I don't want to intrude or interrupt. I am not the father of this child but I have a really close friend who had what is called an easy pregnancy. She just learned she was pregnant about two weeks ago. She was expected to give birth February 27. But a couple days ago she was brought into the hospital. She has really high blood pressure, high protein in her urine and now the doctor is talking about a C-Section next week if her platelets drop. Her platelets are normal now apparently and that's a good thing I think. But whatever the case, it's clear she won't be carrying the baby to term and I've heard all the horror stories about premature babies. Naturally I don't want anything to happen to my friend's first child and I'm just wondering if there's anything any of you can tell me about like, her odds of the baby dying of complications or if the odds are in favor of the baby being just fine or....? Sorry, I'm a little stressed here. I can't even imagine what my friend is going through. She told me the doctor said the baby will have to be in an incubator for a while after they take her out but, again, I've read about all the challenges facing premies. Five minutes on Google said 28 week olds are worse off than 32 week olds. I think my friend's baby is closer to the former.... Of course, they haven't done the operation yet. edit: Knew I was forgetting something. She has 'Preclampsia." NikkolasKing fucked around with this message at 11:54 on Dec 18, 2015 |
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Dec 18, 2015 11:45
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Babies born around 30 weeks have a very good prognosis. They will be prepared for every eventuality, and wouldn't even be considering it at that point if it wasn't the best chance for everyone. Try not to stress too much and especially (not that I think you are) not to add to the mum's stress.
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Dec 18, 2015 13:20
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NikkolasKing posted:So excuse me, I don't want to intrude or interrupt. I am not the father of this child but I have a really close friend who had what is called an easy pregnancy. She just learned she was pregnant about two weeks ago. She was expected to give birth February 27. Ugh. My wife is suddenly facing this, and it's not fun. Still, there are several mitigating factors, so stay hopeful. First, the survival rate for babies born at this point is excellent. Baby has to stay in the NICU for a while, but that's a small price to pay. Viability is ~95% at 30 weeks, compared to ~98% for a full-term birth. Baby has to stay in the NICU for a while, but that's a small price to pay. Second, it's possible that your friend will stay stable and get to early term, which for her is just five weeks away. The proteins in her urine are admittedly a bad sign on that front, but you never know. The docs will be looking at several factors and will try to keep baby in there as long as possible. However, be aware that any early delivery will be because it's the best choice for both baby and mom. It's possible that the condition came on very suddenly. This is apparently just characteristic of the condition. It makes the whole thing more shocking, but it's best not to fixate on it. Finally, and most importantly, the huge majority of preemie babies this old come out of it fine. True, there's a higher risk for complications (about 10-15%, apparently), but it's worth remembering that by far most likely outcome is a healthy, normal baby. The important thing is to be supportive. Your friend may be beating herself up, but the fact of the matter is that she's just a victim of circumstance. Preclampsia isn't terribly well understood, but what research there is seems to indicate that the causes are way beyond anyone's control. Be the best friend that you can during this difficult time. She'll appreciate it, I assure you.
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Dec 18, 2015 15:53
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Yeah, my wife just came down with the pre-eclampsia too. Not fun. As long as her blood pressure stays down they're going to let it ride until January, and then get the baby out then.
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Dec 18, 2015 16:34
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