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Nov 22, 2015 00:30
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didn't know @fart was into corpsepaint
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Nov 22, 2015 00:31
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Roro posted:Ah, I'm pretty sure they were both literally autistic, but they at least had some level of mental illness. I see. Hard to tell with people around here tossing about the word "autistic" as some sort of slur. The poor hygiene would have been really hard to deal with. I had to have a long talking to with one of my employees about showering and he was like "oh, I never really thought it was a problem". Well I have to light candles every time you walk by my office because you smell like sweat and balls so... 
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Nov 22, 2015 00:32
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Modest Mauser posted:I had to have a long talking to with one of my employees about showering and he was like "oh, I never really thought it was a problem". This just makes me think of that MTV special 'Fat Camp', when the girls in one cabin kept telling a horrible girl named Diane to take a shower. Then later that evening she flips poo poo and gets naked in front of them. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLsyEC5epuU
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Nov 22, 2015 00:36
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this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY2Z0qhhgk4&t=65s
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Nov 22, 2015 00:39
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LadyAmbien posted:This just makes me think of that MTV special 'Fat Camp', when the girls in one cabin kept telling a horrible girl named Diane to take a shower. Then later that evening she flips poo poo and gets naked in front of them. "They said I stank so I'm not gonna shower for three days!!" Problem solving at its finest!
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Nov 22, 2015 00:41
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LadyAmbien posted:This just makes me think of that MTV special 'Fat Camp', when the girls in one cabin kept telling a horrible girl named Diane to take a shower. Then later that evening she flips poo poo and gets naked in front of them. I try not to be mean, but that girl just looks like she would be stinky. drat you, Diane.
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Nov 22, 2015 00:56
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Nov 22, 2015 01:22
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I worked for a mortgage servicing company around 2010-2011, and saw some terrible examples of predatory lending. We tended to get the servicing contracts for a lot of subprime loans made by the big financial companies, it got to the point that I was really surprised to see a mortgage that actually had equity rather than being terribly underwater. I frequently saw mortgages that were for twice the current value of the property post-crash. One of the worst I saw was a roughly $500k mortgage that was made to a blue-collar guy to whom English was clearly a second language. They must have played some amazing games to get his income/debt ratio to justify making the loan in the first place, and while he did make pretty decent income the slightest thing going wrong and he would immediately hop on the road to foreclosure. Basically, seeing the mortgage lending industry from the inside is one of the worst things I've ever witnessed in the workplace, but I've seen other awful things. The restaurant I worked at in my teens had some horrors, as did my job in market research. In terms of stark nastiness, though, the mortgages might be the worst.
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Nov 22, 2015 01:26
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Roro posted:It's not an amazing story really. I used to work in a card shop, and we had a couple of autistic regulars. One was really nice while the other was a oval office. I don't know why, but both of them seemed to adore me. The oval office one would deliberately wait in the queue until I was free then demand I serve her according to her specifications (no receipt, hand the bag and the cards to her so she could pack her stuff away, that sort of thing). That was a lot better than I thought it would be. Still, people who don't respect personal space are up there on my annoyance meter. Regulars that were annoying were always the worst. We used to have this one guy that would come in all the time to try and pay us in random world currency and proclaim loudly when we said we couldn't take it that "WE LIVE IN A WORLD ECONOMY!!! IS THIS HOW YOU THINK PROGRESS WORKS?!?!" Each purchase was for like $5 or less so I finally snapped at him and told him if he ever came back I would call the cops. He came back a couple days later and I filed trespassing charges on him. It was hilarious. The whole shebang. My LP officer had to go to court over it and everything. I love that I wasted that dude's time and annoyed him just as much as he did to us.....then I took over another store and I found that he started going there...pain in the rear end. gently caress retail management.
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Nov 22, 2015 02:24
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oh man speaking of personal space, I worked at a big electronics retailer in high school and a lot of the kids working there went to the same high school. I worked in computers with a pretty attractive girl, and every few days some spergy kid from school would come in and hit on her in really awkward ways. The best was this really weird kid coming in when it was super, crazy busy and she was with other customers actually selling stuff and he wouldn't stop bugging her about helping him find a movie..."save the last dance" and he was super insistent that she and only she help him, even though it wasn't her department
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Nov 22, 2015 03:07
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I worked for a mortgage servicing company around 2010-2011, and saw some terrible examples of predatory lending. We tended to get the servicing contracts for a lot of subprime loans made by the big financial companies, it got to the point that I was really surprised to see a mortgage that actually had equity rather than being terribly underwater. I frequently saw mortgages that were for twice the current value of the property post-crash. I used to do market research. One day my team had to run three focus groups back to back on a Friday. The last one ran late, so we were all in a pretty big hurry to get out of there. What we saw when we opened up the next week haunts me to this day: blood and poo poo everywhere! Turns out when we closed up for the day, we accidentally locked in the last focus group! To make matters worse, it was the Friday before a long weekend, so they were stuck in there for three days with nothing to survive on but a bowl of pretzels and a half-pint of water each. The veneer of civilization is paper thin folks. According to the security footage (which I've never been able to bring myself to watch personally), they only lasted to Sunday afternoon before the survivors resorted to cannibalism. I'm eager to hear some of your horror stories though, both from the restaurant and your time in Market Research.
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Nov 22, 2015 06:56
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I worked at Blockbuster Video back when that was a thing. The store manager was the biggest flake I have ever worked with. Mike was a total beach bum. He would come directly from the beach and track sand through the store. He decided we were a "dog friendly store", just so he could bring his dog to work with him. (This also led to me having to try and mop dog diarrhea off of carpet, occasionally) Anyway, we were having a nasty rat problem. We stocked lots of junk food which had attracted the vermin. They would go after the Hershey bars with almonds in particular. I had one customer try to buy one and I noticed that a rat had gnawed into the bottom side of it. I comped his rental and offered to let him pick up a pristine candy if he wanted (he decided to skip the snacks). Manager Mike decided he needed to do something about this. He bought a bunch of glue traps. He scattered them strategically in hard to reach places. Hidden in corners behind the large food cart with busted wheels that took up most of the space of our managers' office/security equipment/storage room, and also concealed underneath the racks of food by the cash registers. Then Mike went away for a long vacation. Mike made a mistake though. He neglected to tell any of the staff before he left that he had laid out all of these traps. Several days after Mike left, an odor began to overtake the store. After closing that night, I discovered a dying rat, struggling in a glue trap underneath the candy display. I managed to sweep the rat & trap into a garbage bag and chucked it in the dumpster behind the store. Still, as days went on the smell continued to get worse. One of my coworkers noticed the odor seemed to be strongest near the back office. I was the shift supervisor, so I left the others out front while I tried to hunt down the remaining traps left behind by Mike. I believe I found two wedged behind the behemoth food cart each with several dead rats.The cart was far too heavy for me to budge, so I had to coax the traps out with a broomstick. Again I tossed the traps into a bag and tossed them into the dumpster. I came back for my next shift a few days later and the stench had gotten much much worse. The odor on the entire side of the store near the back office, was eye-watering. I asked Jack, the morning shift lead, if he could figure out where the missing traps might be and we figured that somehow Mike must have pulled out the giant food cart and placed a trap back there. It seemed unlikely though, because he would have needed help, and nobody on our staff knew about his glue traps. We left one employee to man the store, while four of us barely managed to drag the food cart far enough away from the wall to squeeze behind it. Jack, being closest, edged over, took a quick look at it, and said "Oh, gently caress no!", then backed his way out. The other employees had already retreated to get away from the awful smell. This left me to deal with the final glue trap. I put on some thick rubber gloves and approached the trap. As I pulled the trap out, I got a clear view. It was the most grotesque thing I have ever seen, and I've seen people die. The trap was literally 100% covered in rats, in varying states of decay/death. From the glimpse I had, I could tell that rats got stuck to it, and began to eat each other. I counted at least 15 rats. Some of the rats had had their skulls gnawed through and I could see the empty cavity inside. Several of the rats were still alive so the whole thing seemed to be writhing around as I held it as far from my body as possible while I tried to chuck it in a bag and get it out of the store without customers seeing. The memory of my time at Blockbuster is mostly a blur, but the image and smell and sensation of that trap wriggling are tattooed in my brain. Heteroy fucked around with this message at 10:40 on Nov 22, 2015 |
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Nov 22, 2015 10:32
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Sheit that prank even beats my favourite parting jape of hiding shifty food cans in hard-to-reach places like behind the poo poo in the storage cabinets and on the ceiling tiles so they'll slowly waft out copse smell and rain down death and miasma over the following decades as they slowly ferment and rupture.
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Nov 22, 2015 10:44
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Back at my high school job at a print shop I found a hardcore porno mag stashed on one of the supply shelves while cleaning. I had a pretty drat good idea of which coworker had left it there.
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Nov 22, 2015 11:21
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Roro posted:
there are cats in there too
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Nov 22, 2015 11:22
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I worked at a papa johns for almost two years, our general manager was a raging alcoholic and most of the people there were stoners. I could post a couple of stories about the manager but this one is about a driver.. The driver was a tall morbidly obese young guy named Dylan. One day I was taking a poo poo like usual halfway through my shift, when I hear a quick knocking on the door. I flush, wash up and head out. Dylan was standing by the door, red faced sweating bullets, and shuffled past me. As I walk up to the front of the store I can see from everyone's faces that something funny/hosed up had happened. Apparently, Dylan had poo poo his pants. I immediately felt bad because I took my sweet time getting out of the bathroom. We all get back to work, but Dylan is taking so long in the bathroom that other drivers are having to skip him. After at least a half hour, he emerges from the bathroom with a huge watery brown stain streaking down the middle of his khakis. It was unmistakably poo, nobody said anything.. To him at least. My manager was in the back washing up dishes absolutely cracking up as quietly as possible. I was like, "Yeah man he definitely sharted, we should probably get him out of here asap." It really stunk too. But my manager just stayed back there laughing to himself. So Dylan ended up taking a delivery, with poopy pants, in the middle of the day. When he got back he was using the hotbag to shield his backside from everyone, and would walk backwards and lean against things whenever possible. The smell was awful and had begin to fill the store. Instead of being cool and sending Dylan home for everyone else's sake my manager just stayed in the back and let him take ANOTHER delivery. I imagine Dylan walked backwards to his car after delivering the pizza. We had to scrub a section of wall that Dylan leaned against because there was a lingering smell of poo poo, thank god there wasn't a stain on it or the hotbag he used to hide his shame. Also he had just bought a new dodge dart, and after that everyone referred to it as a dodge shart. xD
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Nov 22, 2015 15:46
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Constipated posted:I worked at a papa johns for almost two years, our general manager was a raging alcoholic and most of the people there were stoners. I could post a couple of stories about the manager but this one is about a driver.. great name/post combo.
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Nov 22, 2015 16:00
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Uncle Wemus posted:there are cats in there too Yeah, but almost industry wide it's called the dead dog freezer. Because those fuckers take up so much space. For example, I once had to try and get a 40-50kg Dobermann from a back room of the practice into the garage with the assistance of a 5ft lady vet who was better at directions than lifting. That fucker filled up the freezer so much we actually considered not doing any more euthanasias since the pickup for the bodies had been the day before so we'd have to wait a week. In the end I think my boss just requested an extra pickup, but thankfully I wasn't there because apparently before the Dobermann had time to freeze it had kind of slipped into the very bottom of the freezer and frozen in place. So glad I didn't have to deal with getting the fucker out.
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Nov 22, 2015 16:21
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El Spider posted:is it ironic? im missing the punchline where beating an animal to death was supposed to be funny Where does the title say funny? El Spider posted:link me to the baby baking post since I didn't actively read or post here prior to my modding Ya don't say...
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Nov 22, 2015 16:46
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Applewhite posted:I worked at a lumber mill one summer up in Canada. There were no women for fifty miles so the men got pretty horny, and we'd get up to some crazy shenanigans that aren't gay at all because it's just guys hangin' out trying to let off some steam and anyone would act the same in our situation. That reminds me...I once was putting my uniform on in the dark while in the field. The same one that I'd been wearing through two weeks of Georgia summer misery already. Half awake and with my pants half on I felt something bite my thigh, then another couple bites. I turned a flashlight on and the crotch of my uniform was loving boiling with fire ants. Turns out they're a fan of ball-sweat and grime. That was at work and a pretty horrible thing to see (although I got away with only a dozen bites or so, and not a nub ding dong).
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Nov 22, 2015 18:12
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Heteroy posted:
Wow, a honest-to-god Rat King. Neato.
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Nov 22, 2015 18:42
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The new big big boss is my old little boss. Im gonna use this to slack off even more.
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Nov 22, 2015 23:09
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Booblord Zagats posted:The bastard had turned an entire video store in to his personal Deviant Art Fanfiction depository . He had faked being a simpleton and dived down the rabbit hole of erotic fiction. I would never trust a retard again Doug beat the system.
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Nov 22, 2015 23:13
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Isaac posted:The new big big boss is my old little boss. Im gonna use this to slack off even more. How'd your penis get promoted before you did?
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Nov 22, 2015 23:53
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didn't witness it but back when I was high school during closing time at Outback Steakhouse the manager boasted about one of the waitresses giving him "110%" the other day the other worst thing would be in my adult life when I had to sign papers laying me off. I miss the restaurant days.
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Nov 22, 2015 23:59
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Speaking of veterinary horror, my first job was a veterinary cleanup kid when I was 15. It wasn't too bad I guess, I really learned how to thoroughly clean and still take pride in that today. Stuff like blood, poo poo, piss, puss don't bother me as much as it does a lot of people. Well one day, a tech ran to the back while I was folding towels and says, "hey, interwhat, uhhhh we're gonna need you up front uhhhh with a mop." Of course I raise my eyes like, oh here we go. I make my way up front to the vet lobby, and I realize I'm following a trail of blood drops and smearing them. So I go back and clean all that up and continue on up front. Well the waiting room has far more drops, to the point where the floor is starting to get a reddish brown hue to it, from people walking by and tracking it around. A customer had brought his weimereiner in, due to blood pouring out of her vagina. At this point, as they're standing around, talking writing paperwork, little ol me is there on standby, waiting for them to stop their bullshit and fix this dog. About every minute or so, a large glob of blood would plop onto the floor, semi clotted. As it turns out, a tear was found on the inside wall of the doggy vag, they patched her up with a tampon believe it or not, because the tear was reletively small and healed on its own. The hosed up part? The owner suspected fowl play, as his redneck neighbor had been leaving notes about the dog barking, and that afternoon he had seen the neighbor returning to his own yard from the direction of dog owners house. Not sure if he stabbed the dog with something or... Raped it?
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Nov 23, 2015 03:52
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interwhat posted:weimereiner For some reason I got the idea that this post was about a wereweiner (dog?), and had to google it. e: Karate Bastard posted:If anyone has a link to the full moon gay bar dance floor back flip riot story then please post it here. I gotta retry this. Does anyone have a link to this story? Does anyone even know what I'm talking about? Did I dream this up? Like, I'm trying to google this but all I can find is me asking around for it. wtf am I losing my poo poo here? It's a seriously great story, and perfect for this thread. Karate Bastard fucked around with this message at 00:54 on Nov 24, 2015 |
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Nov 24, 2015 00:42
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Applewhite posted:I'm eager to hear some of your horror stories though, both from the restaurant and your time in Market Research. The restaurant I worked at was the best in terms of inanimate objects wreaking or threatening violence. I think at one point we were averaging one employee ending up in the ER per month. The kitchen had tile floors with those big rubber "no-skid" mats spread around, but the floor was frequently so wet and slimy that the mats themselves would function more as skateboards than traction surfaces. The best was emptying the deep fryer, because the method involved draining all the fusion-hot oil into a large pot, then carefully carrying said large pot full of fusion-hot oil across 50' of these treacherous mats. Luckily nobody actually dropped it, as that would've been trauma-center worthy. My friend and I liked to keep the Hobart meat-slicer honed to a laser edge, which came back to literally bite him in the hand, resulting in one of the aforementioned emergency room visits. On Mother's Day. I was dishwashing that day, and it was truly a Sisyphean task trying to keep up with the flow of dishes all on my own. He got a pretty cool scar from it, at least.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:04
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I didn't see it personally but my mom told me a story about when she was at a refinery in texas and saw a guy's skin melt off when a corroded crude pipe ruptured and sprayed him down. He got under an emergency shower and survived, but she says it was horrifying to watch this guy's clothes and skin like slide off (much like the pizzapeople from earlier in thread).\ Boss told me about a guy who spilled HF on his pants. He jumped immediately into a swimming pool, but HF doesn't really nuetralize with water so it didn't do a whole lot. Ended up needing both his legs amputated and, if I recall, ended up dying of complete nervous system failure. Don't gently caress with HF, kids.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:24
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Crazyeyes posted:
Holy moly, that is brutal.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:32
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Karate Bastard posted:For some reason I got the idea that this post was about a wereweiner (dog?), and had to google it. Also, I spelled it wrong. It's Weimaraner.
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Nov 24, 2015 01:43
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At work one time an old lady gave me a plum. I threw that poo poo on the ground, I don't need your old lady plums.
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Nov 24, 2015 02:19
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Whats HF
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Nov 24, 2015 02:59
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Isaac posted:Whats HF Hot Franks that tabasco will kill you dead, brother
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Nov 24, 2015 03:19
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drat horror queefs posted:Hot Franks That stuffs p weak. Vinegary mostly.
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Nov 24, 2015 03:32
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Isaac posted:Whats HF Hydrofluoric acid. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrofluoric_acid I work from home. I'm going to pretend my neighbors are coworkers. One fell off his metal roof while wearing flip flops. One melted his ears, and half his face off while trying to light his gas grill while drunk. Somebody at the other end of the street had a pre-built storage shed delivered. It was a wide load, and we have a narrow street. The truck kept rolling down the street while sideswiping all the mailboxes down one side. Most of them were knocked over but mine was on a lovely PVC post, and flew into my neighbor's driver's side window, and also her head.
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Nov 24, 2015 03:52
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Isaac posted:Whats HF As the other guy said HF is Hydrofluoric Acid. It fucks with the calcium in your bones/blood, among other stuff, to create calcium fluoride and gently caress up your nervous system and cause organ failure. You treat HF burns and associated blood poisoning by basically pumping huge amounts of calcium into your body to (hopefully) pick up all the loose HF molecules before they gently caress with your innards too much. If you work with the stuff regularly you usually have to carry Calcium Gluconate packs with you at all times. Amputation is almost always needed and something like 2% body coverage is pretty much fatal. Some gnarly stuff. Unfortunately it is incredibly important to a lot of chemistry and pharmaceutical work.
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Nov 24, 2015 04:16
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Crazyeyes posted:As the other guy said HF is Hydrofluoric Acid. It fucks with the calcium in your bones/blood, among other stuff, to create calcium fluoride and gently caress up your nervous system and cause organ failure. You treat HF burns and associated blood poisoning by basically pumping huge amounts of calcium into your body to (hopefully) pick up all the loose HF molecules before they gently caress with your innards too much. If you work with the stuff regularly you usually have to carry Calcium Gluconate packs with you at all times. Yikes
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Nov 24, 2015 04:57
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Oh not Frank's red hot sauce then.
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Nov 24, 2015 05:34
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