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HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Asherah posted:

In the beginning, Asherah swam through the waters and Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Where Asherah beat her tail the waters were deepened and where she lifted up her tail, rose land. Where she splashed water high was made the sky, stars and moon and sun.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Where Asherah lowered her fins, came the plants of the sea and where she raised them came the plants of the land.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah cast forth her eggs unto the waters and made the Great Fish and their names are Ninveh, Yamsef, Daam, Keenem, Nagaal, Faram, Smis, Adom, Jaar, Xural, Amal, Menl, Garal and Ophama.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah ate the flesh of her sons and daughters and the flesh of their sons and daughters.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah cast her eggs upon the land and where it landed came our fathers.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

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Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

Asherah posted:

In the beginning, Asherah swam through the waters and Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Where Asherah beat her tail the waters were deepened and where she lifted up her tail, rose land. Where she splashed water high was made the sky, stars and moon and sun.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Where Asherah lowered her fins, came the plants of the sea and where she raised them came the plants of the land.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah cast forth her eggs unto the waters and made the Great Fish and their names are Ninveh, Yamsef, Daam, Keenem, Nagaal, Faram, Smis, Adom, Jaar, Xural, Amal, Menl, Garal and Ophama.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah ate the flesh of her sons and daughters and the flesh of their sons and daughters.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

Asherah cast her eggs upon the land and where it landed came our fathers.

And Her Hunger was Great as she swam through the deep.

My queen :worship:

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010
Switch from E to A

(edited my old post)

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

After a beautiful speech, you light the sacrifice and



Honestly, I'm actually a tiny bit worried about the anticipated size of this sacrifice. It's just a small concern, but ... doesn't it seem like the sort of thing people would notice? We're not supposed to sacrifice within the boundaries of giant-land, because it will increase the chance of detection, but wouldn't something this big right outside their borders do that anyway?

The Laurels don't seem concerned, so there's that. Maybe El will make sure that it can't be felt outside the bounds of this sactified area. Still, I'm reminded of how, during Ruth's trial sacrifice, we felt a massive force flying towards Kavodel. Seems like the sort of thing big powerful entities would pick up on.

I sure hope Demon-Amok doesn't fling itself down here in response.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Diogines posted:

You grab an arrow from your back and draw your bow swiftly, even before you put an arrow in it, your men have acted first upon what they sure seem to think is a very obvious sign of divine will. Nahari and Ithma stab their spears into Goliath's back, the giant roaring in pain, Uriah draws his sword and cuts Goliath's head off in a single blow! None of the farmers of Gebeb were near Goliath before but those which were closest are running and many yell in panic and confusion!

A vaporous yellow gas rises from Goliath's neck and begins to form into a cloud above of its body... and then begins to move towards the closest of the farmers! You swear you hear the faintest whimper and watch as the vapor is pulled away, towards the northeast, then flies in that direction with great speed, after only a few moments, it is gone.

The giant eagle looks over those assembled, its beak bloody, it spreads its wings wide and looks you straight in the eye.


CAAAAAAAW!


It flaps its wings and returns to the trees, the other predatory birds following it. You manage, eventually, to calm down the confused masses. A great and worthy sacrifice lay behind you and in a few moments, you will ignite it. But first... a few words to those who have so long been oppressed and for the first time, are free.





You have told the people of Gebeb a bit of El, but you are the only person who speaks their language and there has been a great deal to do. So now you tell them...


"In... in the beginning...."






"In the beginning there was naught but El who dwelt in void and sat in silence."

"On the First Day El crafted Paradise and filled Paradise with the Melachim. The Melachim sung the glories of El and, it was good."

Thub-dub. Some of the farmers have per-emptively placed their faces into the dirt, for you warned them that to look upon the altar during this sacrafice, they may perish. That El is not a great and giant thing of flesh and blood like their Gods, pretenders, but something else, something beyond comprehension and even a glimmer of him is more than a mind can bare.

"On the Second Day El crafted a new place. Over it was placed the sky and beneath, land and what lay between was filled with water and, it was good."




"On the Third day El waived His hand across the world and where it passed came plants of every sort and the creatures of the land and sea and sky and, it was good."

Thub-dub. The farmers listen with rapt attention. Your stomach rumbles.

"On the Fourth day the Melachim descended upon the world to slay Leviathan, Dragoom, Quetzatl, Ogar and Asharak to prepare the way for what was to come and, it was good."

"On the fifth day El reached into his flesh and placed a man and a woman upon the world and, it was good."

Thub-dub. You can hear their hearts beating. Well, you always can hear the hearts of those around you, you usually ignore such sounds, but the forest is quiet, the birds above do not sing but watch with rapt attention exactly like the hundreds now kneeling before you. You yearn to turn to the altar behind you and...

"On the sixth day, man covered the world and prayed to the sun and moon and stars and to the beasts of the field."

Thub-dub. Your stomach rumbles. You are... hungry.

"On the seventh day was born Labaras and, it was good."

Thub-dub. At this, Uriah shouts "Praise El!" and a number of the farmers shout out prayers but you motion for silence and you get it. You feel... strange.

"On the eighth day Labaras turned his back upon the sun, moon, stars and beasts of the field and left the tents of his fathers to search for El and, it was good."

Thub-dub. You... you have to eat...

"On the ninth day, Labaras spoke with El and raised up the House of El and, it was good."

Thub-dub. You have to. You have to, those orbs, you deserve them-!

"On the tenth day, El rested."

You take a deep breath and say "With El's aid, we have slain your false gods. Yet we have walked across the world and faced many perils and overcome many dangers to come here and the lands of Labaras and the House of El are distant. I do not know what the future holds. You are free today, but only El knows tomorrow. I do not know if we can take you with us to a safe place. Cry out, let El hear your pleads, let your voices soften his heart and move his hand."

The farmers begin to shout out El's name, some cry softly, others plead and pray.

Behind you is a large stone block from the house of Gebeb, carved into an altar for El and upon it are heaped many offerings, indeed, far more than can even fit upon the altar, they spill far and wide around it. You have used the last of your sacrificial oil and incense upon this sacrifice.

You have seized these things. They are yours. You deserve them. Your eyes linger upon the orbs of the giants in the middle of the offerings, upon the orbs of First and Second and your stomach gurgles, you feel weak in the knees and a bit dizzy... you reach a hand towards them... it takes it takes... It takes as much control as you can muster to not turn upon the altar and claim the delights upon it for yourself, somehow, you do not cram them into your maw.

A small fire burns nearby, waiting. You lift a flaming stick from the fire and move it towards the oil-soaked offerings...







But... but...


1. You...
A. Drop the stick. Eat the orbs!
B. THE ORBS! THE ORBS! THEY ARE YOURS!
C. You KILLED THEM! They are YOURS by RIGHT!
D. You FREED these people! You DESERVE THIS!
E. No distant gods killed the Amalkite giants! YOU DID! These are YOURS! YOURS!
E. They are yours! Yours! YOURS AND NO ONE ELSES!
F. EAT!
G. With them you will do great and WONDEROUS things!
H. EAT THE ORBS!
I. FEED!
J. Just ONE! One will be enough!
K. You only need ONE!
L. YOU HAVE TO FEED!
M. EAT THEM!
N. YOU WILL BE MORE! SO MUCH MORE IF ONLY YOU EAT THEM! EAT!
O. WRAGHGHGHGHGH!! WHY AREN'T YOU EATING!?! FEED! FEED! EAT THE ORBS!
P. WRAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Q. FEED!
R. EAT!
S. CONSUME!
T. FEED FEED FEED!
U. EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!
V. FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD! CONSUME!
W. CONSUME! CONSUME! FOOD! FEED! FEED! FEED! FEED! FEED! FEED! EAT! EAT! EAT!
X. YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS! YOURS!
Y. WRAAAAGHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Z. EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!

















Diogines fucked around with this message at 16:24 on Dec 5, 2015

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




write-in: light the altar

Bede
Jun 2, 2006

I wasn't even around for the goblin baby vote

SerSpook posted:

write-in: light the altar

this

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!
Resist!
And light the altar.

BoneMonkey
Jul 25, 2008

I am happy for you.

Light the alter.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
כָּרִיך light the altar

Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Dec 5, 2015

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

SerSpook posted:

write-in: light the altar

This

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!
Always living up to your name DHS.
E:editing cheater:bahgawd:

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Light the altar you goddamn baby! DO IT!

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
X (this is a light the altar post)

It's yours yours yours El. It's yours yours yours yours yours.

Why am I doing this? Because eating human souls is not something I want to do.

I don't believe in El. Still. But I believe that whatever El is is good. And that Melechim are good. And that demons deserve to die and mankind to be free.

Affi fucked around with this message at 16:31 on Dec 5, 2015

Althair
Jul 26, 2006
words are weapons
LIGHT THE ALTAR

EL CARES NOT FOR RICHES OR THE SCENT OF INCENSE! THAT WHICH WE HAVE WON WITH GREAT HARDSHIP I OFFER UNTO HE WHO IS ETERNAL! EVEN THE ACT OF LIGHTING THE FIRE THOUGH ALL OUR SOUL SCREAMS TO CONSUME THE ORBS- THIS TOO IS OUR SACRIFICE TO EL!

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010
lmbo enkidel u crazy bird u

Light that alter, give props to El

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!


How are you going to light the altar with a sandwich?

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
Torch it.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

SerSpook posted:

write-in: light the altar

ArbitraryTA
May 3, 2011
Burn it all down

I really want to see the majesty of this sacrifice.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!

Diogines posted:

How are you going to light the altar with a sandwich?

We shall wrap the riches with our devotion and present El with a tasty faith pannini!

RadicalR
Jan 20, 2008

"Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."
write in: light it

Looks like the demon part of us isn't too thrilled about this voluntary sacrifice.

TK-42-1
Oct 30, 2013

looks like we have a bad transmitter



Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

Resist!
And light the altar.

El provides.

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

FoxTerrier posted:

Light the altar you goddamn baby! DO IT!

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006

Strength of >800 Men
Honor of 0
Grimey Drawer
Praise EL! Light that altar!

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
LIGHT IT UP

Amazed
Dec 29, 2009

a cat irl posted:

lmbo enkidel u crazy bird u

Light that alter, give props to El

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

BURNBURNBURNBURN


BURN THE HUNGER AWAY
ONLY EL CAN MAKE US FULL
LIGHT IT UP!




drat Asherah praisers, look what you did!

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010

Diogines posted:

How are you going to light the altar with a sandwich?

um I've probably asked this (maybe twice) but does Ur (or even just Zepath or Kavodel) have sandwiches? Or maybe wraps (which are closely related, maybe a sandwich progenitor?)??

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
% Punch stomach. Shut up

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
How does our meter look? We were at 95 mena couple of days ago, do we need to fill up again?

Also who owned The village when we left and who owns this place?

HBar
Sep 13, 2007

Food tastes so much better when it's cooked! Light the Altar.

Tsyni
Sep 1, 2004
Lipstick Apathy
Feed

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!
Write in: Light the altar and shout "JUSTICE FOR SEBBEKAI!"

It was amalekites who ate his nephesh. And the amalekites are burning for it.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Diogines posted:

How are you going to light the altar with a sandwich?

sandwich is my own letter option. option sandwich

Grognan
Jan 23, 2007

by Fluffdaddy
Light the Altar

Zahrkon
Apr 2, 2010
Light the loving altar for ELS sake already! Also tell our rumbly belly to gently caress off forever.

Zahrkon fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Dec 5, 2015

ShotgunWillie
Aug 30, 2005

a sexy automaton -
powered by dark
oriental magic :roboluv:

SerSpook posted:

write-in: light the altar

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Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003
What good is all that control training Ish was teaching us if we cant use it now?

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