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D WWRD?
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Dec 14, 2015 23:53
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 08:19 |
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Offer a prayer to the secret God of Gnomish Destruction Grand Kah and his consort Lady Boom in the hopes they accept this hell wrought by Gnomish hands with favor.
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Dec 14, 2015 23:53
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D Channel the Emperor's brilliant strategic acumen to shuffle away from the center of the explosion. The monster is literally dissolving in the very front of our eyes, it is unlikely to have any sort of functional sensory apparatus left anymore. Leave it alone to die. EDIT: Also, do not stay still and let the caustic fumes catch us since we are downhill from them. Theantero fucked around with this message at 00:36 on Dec 15, 2015 |
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Dec 14, 2015 23:57
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d, but have the first thing that comes to mind be an earworm. A song hook like "I'll ever be true /I'll always love you."
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Dec 15, 2015 00:33
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D. As the great emperor once said, "Every job in Rim is a Rim Job."
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Dec 15, 2015 01:12
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B
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Dec 15, 2015 03:36
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Nyaa posted:D. As the great emperor once said, "Every job in Rim is a Rim Job."
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Dec 15, 2015 05:20
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Arkanomen posted:Offer a prayer to the secret God of Gnomish Destruction Grand Kah and his consort Lady Boom in the hopes they accept this hell wrought by Gnomish hands with favor.
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Dec 15, 2015 08:13
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D
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Dec 15, 2015 11:21
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B
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Dec 16, 2015 08:20
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What Would Rim Do? Perhaps delirious from the massive explosion, you rack your brain for any nugget of wisdom in can muster in these trying times. On the stories you heard as a child, of the Great Emperor Rim and his efforts to secure the world as you know it today. Not all these tales where Heroic, mind. Some showed other aspects of His Greatness, such as cunning or guile. A popular one tells of one of his many strategic retreats, early on in his career. When the Lords of the Land where still fledgling, and war was commonplace. A Vast horde had been arrayed against his ill-prepared troops. Outnumbered four to one on the field of battle, he chose to leave it entirely. The assembled host gave chase, of course, but found their might unwieldy. The Emperor slipped away and the extra time it bought him allowed him to set his own troops up at a much better position, utilizing chokepoints to defeat the much larger force when they caught up. When faced with a Greater Enemy, there is no shame in retreating. To fight only where victory is certain, that is the mark of a True Leader. --- You regain a measure of focus and take in your surroundings. There is a mad, burning Owlbear charging right at you. It is both burning and melting, but that hasn't seemed to slow it down. It comes out of a realm of fire and toxic death, fast beyond anything you've seen before. The forest behind you is still, unscorched. Yet falling globules of boiling owlbear blubber is sure to change that in a moment. You have decided to put your faith in a Great Man, but a man none the less. No miracle will save you now. No divine transaction will aid your cause. You have but yourself and your wit. You wisely skedaddle. … … …  … … …  … ...  … … ...  “Huuueeey! That was some explosion!” Johakim exclaims as you come to again. You are still in the forest, and somewhere behind his shoulder you can make out the ashen remains of the area immediately next to the cave. A heap of flesh and bone is decomposing rapidly at the edges of the epicentre of the recent explosion, a grim reminder of what has just occurred.  “Looks like we stayed clear of most of it, Boss. I reckon any closer and we'd 'ave ended up as that thing over there.”  “I told you not to trust in gnomish chemicals” Khami interjects.  “Got the job done, didn't it?”  “Aye, and we are all accounted fer, aside from the horses.” As the immediate danger seems to have passed, you take stock of your situation. It is daytime, and ITEC finds itself deep in a forest next to a freshly burnt out grove. The (burning) corpses of two giant owlbears are nearby. Konnie has woken up, still aching but Johakim assures you he will be alright. Tommy has taken a deep cut to the arm and Kvelar a glancing blow to the back, but these are wounds that will heal in time. Perhaps leave another interesting scar. Your equipment is worse for wear. All of your horses are gone, but only one is confirmed dead. The rest have fled into the forest and will likely continue to do so for a while. Finding them will be a chore, especially without mounts. At least the explosion scared them away from the fire, small mercies in life. Two sets of armour will need extensive repair, another is pretty much a write-off, having been subjected to direct interaction with the acidic rain. Likewise, Konnies daggers are a pile of slag as he had discarded them in his dash for safety and no one had thought to pick them up in the middle of battle, especially with the rogue unconscious at the time unable to point his lack of gear out. You have successfully dealt with the (adult) Owlbear problem, but you suspect there to be cubs inside the cave. Owlbears mate for life, and these two where clearly Patron and Matriarch. There is also still the issue of the Death Certificate and the missing hunter.  1: Your horses are missing, and with them a good portion of the gear and supplies you brought with you to this battle. Getting back to Sockne won't be a trouble for seasoned (okay, less than one season) monster hunters such as yourselves, but it will take until nightfall at the very least. The horses represent at least 4 wealth, so their loss would be a substantial hit to your coffers, yet manageable with the great deal of success your business has attained thus far. Still, you might want to look for them to recuperate some loss. A: We look for them immediately, as soon as we leave the area. B: We go back to town and look for them tomorrow, perhaps with the help of the townspeople? The forest should be clear of monsters now, it should be relatively safe, and the horses will likely run until they tire themselves out anyway. C: We don't look for them. Chalk it up as a loss. [-4 Wealth if you choose to resupply and get new horses] --- 2: There is a cave in front of you. You will have to wait a bit for the toxic fumes to subside and the fire to die out, but it is there and available for looting. There might be owlbear cubs inside, but they should not pose a problem. D: We check out the cave as soon as possible. Are there any special precautions you wish to take, any thing of note you wish to look for? It is assumed you will be looking for tracers of both Cubs and Hunter if you take this option. E: Nah, forget the cave. I just want to go home. --- 3: Is there anything else you wish to do right now? F: Write-in. --- Party Thoughts: Skvababt: Such a pity those beautiful creatures burnt to cinders; I was looking forward to wearing their feathery fur as a coat. Mmhm. Perhaps their cubs yet live. We should investigate, offer them a merciful death and use their soft and malleable hide for armour. Khami: Let's get out of here, before the aroma of burning meat brings far greater danger upon our heads. Kvelar: Don't ferget abou' our secondary goal, there might be tracks of the missing hunter inside. Tommy: There might be something left after the fire dies out, you can never tell with monsters. Maybe check piles out out after we're done with the cave? Johakim: That fight took a lot out of us, we should go back to town and recuperate before things get out of hand. Konnie: My precious daggers!! Stupid Owlbears! *Spit* *fizzle*
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Dec 16, 2015 13:44
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A go and look for horses now, while they are close by. Once we've found them, investigate the cave
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Dec 16, 2015 14:13
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BD and take some kind of trophy from the owlbears to prove they're real.
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Dec 16, 2015 15:54
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A, D. Be prepared for the cubs putting up a fight.
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Dec 16, 2015 16:37
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OWLBEAR MOUNTS. OWLBEARS JOIN OUR GUILD.
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Dec 16, 2015 16:50
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nothing to seehere posted:A go and look for horses now, while they are close by. Once we've found them, investigate the cave
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Dec 16, 2015 18:58
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A, D Take baby owlbears, raise them to be fearsome beasts that are on our side!
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Dec 16, 2015 19:22
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A D F. Change underwear
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Dec 16, 2015 19:25
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Wentley posted:OWLBEAR MOUNTS. OWLBEARS JOIN OUR GUILD. a, and this
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Dec 16, 2015 20:45
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What exactly is going to come sniffing around this place? Anything scary in the area is a pile of owl bear poop. B. Come back in the morning with a few representatives of the village to help look for the horses, and the loot the cave and make the baby owl bears an offer they can't refuse (join us or die).
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Dec 17, 2015 01:24
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A, D Things to remember: Beware toxic fumes, if they are still around after we find the horses the scram. Also, we do not have the means to tame goddamn bears come on guys. Just kill them and take their skins.
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Dec 17, 2015 13:55
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how much is a live owlbear cub worth on the open market?
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Dec 17, 2015 15:28
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jazzyhattrick posted:how much is a live owlbear cub worth on the open market? I like this idea, but alas, we did not bring our cage-wagon with us.
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Dec 17, 2015 15:41
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http://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride Here's a pretty cool article for anybody that wants to find out a little more about FOOF.
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Dec 17, 2015 20:00
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Owlbear there for you Horses are easily frightened creatures, with three primary modes of conduct. Panic, Sleep and Hunger. The balance of these factors bring about all the various moods of the equine in question. The fourth, hidden statistic is fellowship, and this is the glue that binds horsekind together. Essentially, what one horse does, others are quick to imitate. When the huge, winged, clawed predator descended into their ranks and cut one of their fellows in half with one fell swoop, the rest scattered. Full panic, only intensified by the following explosion some time later. Yet their egress was not chaotic; for instinct is strong within them. Even if the initial escape vector was scattered in all directions, they soon saw the distant shadows of their brethren and herd the clippity clop of their hooves. Horses, like magnets of opposing polarity, long to be together, and so they eventually coalesced into a coherent stampede. Subsequently, their tracks are not hard to follow, once you figure out the route. Still, they have a good few minutes of galloping on you, and many more of trott. It takes your crew over an hour to find their final destination, a field where they have spontaneously begun feeding of the last of the seasons tasty grass. Mercifully, most of your saddlebags remain. You even find one that must have fallen off along the trail, still, a few are missing and some equipment is broken beyond repair. Circumstances being what they are, it could have been much worse. Repairs and re-supplies will cost you [01 wealth], and you will suffer inconvenience and mild penalties to everything relevant until this is paid. You return to the cave to find the area outside cooling down. Some ash is still smouldering and you probably shouldn't touch the ground in the very centre of the small crater, but the worst has passed. Careful to step around any lingering puddles of acid, you begin spelunking. As caves go this one isn't especially deep, with a few nooks and crannies leading nowhere and two large hollows tucked into the back. One is the larder, the other obviously the nest. You can tell from the squeaking, hooting and growling of three small owlbear cubs, not more than a few weeks old (although how you can tell this is anyone’s guess.)  x3They look at you with big, pleading eyes. Hoot hoot. The larder has a wealth of meat and fruit, gathered with care and dedication from the forest and village outskirts. Containing mostly mutton, there are a few rabbits and even most of a stag in the pile. The air is pleasantly chilly and the produce seems fresh, if raw. Of in the corner lies the body of a humanoid male, his form torn and bettered. On him is a ruined coat of leather armour, some knickknacks that managed to stay in his pouch and of course his Death Certificate, spotless as they always are even in the face of death. If he had other gear it must be back where he fell, wherever that was.  At a casual glance, the cave is devoid of anything else of note. --- 1: What do you do with the cubs? A: Kill them. B: Kill them and strip them of the hides. C: Keep them to sell them later. [+03 Owlbear cubs] D: Keep them and attempt to train them. [+03 Owlbear cubs] --- 2: The Death Certificate is a form unfilled; What do you pen as the cause of death? E: Write-in. --- 3: Is there anything else you wish to do before you head back to town? F: Write-in. --- Party Thoughts: Tommy: I wonder how they taste? Khami: Taking them is foolish, kill them and let us be off. Konnie: Perhaps we could sell them to a circus? One that isn't infected with living ivy, that is. Might be better to just off 'em though. Stupid owlbears. Skvababt: A few days on the rack and their hides will be perfect for our most delightful needs. Mhm hihihi.
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Dec 19, 2015 17:03
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1.D Owlbears would make great melee combatants, and would probably scare off most human foes.
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Dec 19, 2015 17:22
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1:B We have no means to tame or even really transport these things. Let's take the conservative way out and try to get at least abit of owlbear related loot out of this. 2: E: ...as having occurred the day of the month for reasons of undue owlbear aggression. To whit the form was found by ITEC at [rough location of cave goes here]. Theantero fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Dec 19, 2015 |
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Dec 19, 2015 18:20
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Stealing a little C E: 2: E: ...as having occurred the Day of the Month for reasons of Live Processing into Owlbear Baby Formula. To whit the form was found by ITEC at [rough location of cave goes here].
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Dec 19, 2015 18:41
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1:D
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Dec 19, 2015 18:55
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1. D
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Dec 19, 2015 19:05
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Guys how the hell do you figure we are capable of keeping and much less taming bears? That is super dumb and will almost certainly backfire horribly.
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Dec 19, 2015 19:42
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I know, and I am willing to go bankrupt for this.
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Dec 19, 2015 19:52
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Arkanomen posted:Stealing a little Or D, let's see how they are first. Theantero posted:Guys how the hell do you figure we are capable of keeping and much less taming bears? That is super dumb and will almost certainly backfire horribly. We are an accountant who decided t go monster hunting. Disastrous backfire is our best case scenario.
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Dec 19, 2015 22:41
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1. C - sell them for $$Theantero posted:2: E: ...as having occurred the day of the month for reasons of undue owlbear aggression. To whit the form was found by ITEC at [rough location of cave goes here]. Sure, this
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Dec 20, 2015 10:42
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ITEC in the Nest of Owlbears Month 2, Week Two, Day Six x03"Lets keep them!" Stares of disbelief meet your sudden, enthusiastic statement. "to sell them, right?" "no. I want to raise them as mounts or.. companions! Mascots!" a mad gleam in your eyes. "Are ye taken cousin?!" "No, no, I feel fine! Never better. Now take these beasts outside and load them onto the wagon!" "The one we didn't bring?" "This is foolish" "Mhm, yes, but gallant in a way. The thrill of danger, of sharing a home with vicious maneaters. Its enough to get you... Sweating." "so, its decided then? Tommy! Take two and carry them out. Kvelar, take the other one. " "'An which one would that be?" In the midst of discussion one of the cubs had wandered off, finding its way to the larder where you found it stuffing its face with mutton. An adorable carnivore. But the scene brought up another question which you had not yet considered. How to feed them? Bears hibernate, do Owls? Do Owlbears? Somehow, you manage to coral the cubs outside. At first they protest but you are both stronger and more plentiful, and they relent. They settle into their new plight with remarkable speed and those tasked with carrying the tiny creatures soon find themselves hugging them close. With only six horses for a company of seven plus three, the way back to Sockne is arduous indeed. You arrive come nightfall and the villagers, frightened as they are, keep indoors. Even the inn has closed for the evening, so you are forced to spend the night camping somewhat outside the city centre, much to the chagrin of everyone involved. At least the Owlbears make for warm and comfortable, if noisy pillows. Month 2, Week Two, Day Seven. When you awake you have lost some of your field rations to midnight snacks. Stray feathers present some hint as to the culprit, but there is little you can do about it now. The second thing the morrow brings you is an Old Man (presumably the one the halfling warned you about.) yelling incomprehensibly about the terror of the marsh!  You do your best to ignore him as you and your group prepare to face the villagers. They have all gathered outside the local church and seem to be planning some sort of festival. Your news bring great cheer but also some confusion. You present the family of Mr. Guffson with the Death Certificate, and they grateful, if saddened at the loss. They will hand it over to the proper authorities as soon as possible. They offer you a meagre reward and when they see the cubs ask what you intend to do with them. The meat would come to good use during the winter, and without the family hunter they fear a season of "Bad Duck Rice(TM)" porridge ahead of them. They don't have any more money to offer, and no other material goods to spare. The other villagers are wary of the cubs, but the more adventurous of them ask if they are entertainment for the festival? Or perhaps a sacrifice?  --- Sockne is poor. What horses they have are all needed, and not bred for long journeys and combat. You will have to head back to Braav or perhaps Grüw to handle the restocking of your supplies. Your crew is hurt and tired. Morale is Flagging, but you are successful.  --- To reiterate: The date is currently Month Two, Week Two, Day Seven. Your current wealth is 10+3 = 13. In Two Weeks and a Day you must pay upkeep and salaries, equating to [013 Wealth], which means you are just breaking even. You have lost [01 wealth] worth of horses and utilities. You will suffer mild penalties to related tasks until this can be rectified. You have lost a pair of daggers of indeterminate worth; Konnie insists they where masterwork. Konnie cannot fight or refuses to fight until these are replaced. You could insist he pay for his own gear using his salary, but that would put him out of commission until that salary is paid, and perhaps beyond. You have lost negligible rations; Yet these are impossible to replenish at your current location. You will have to ration them, sapping your daily energy and morale. Two sets of armour will need extensive repair, one set of armour is completely destroyed. You have backups of lesser quality back at home, but as of right now only four of the seven members of ITEC can consider themselves armoured. The people still armoured are: Yourself, Skvababt, Johakim and Konnie. This means all of your front-line fighters, minus yourself, are ill protected for any coming fight. There is nothing you can do about this in Sockne, but both Grüw and Braav should have the facilities to solve your conundrum. --- 1: The Larder back in the Owlbear cave is full of food, half of which technically belongs to the village. Yet you have three hungry Owlbear cubs who seem to enjoy eating almost as much as they enjoy hooting. Taking the food would significantly decrease the expenses of maintaining the creatures for as long as the larder lasts, yet transport is complicated. A: I arrange for ITEC to deliver the Larder back to headquarters in Braav. [+01 days of travel time, and will also slow the group down a bit] [+01 Owlbear Larder] B: I ignore the Larder. C: I transport the Larder back to Sockne, just in time for the festival! [Will take you most of the day] [-01 Owlbear Larder] --- 2: The Old Man is insistent upon telling you his story. Do you relent, and hear him out? Yes/No --- 3: The villagers have asked you if you are presenting the cubs as sacrifice, or perhaps for entertainment for the festival? The Late Mr. Guffsons family requests the cubs for a more sinister purpose; killing them and using the meat to survive the winter. Keeping them is a grey area in terms of legality. D: I present them as Sacrifice. But to whom? Write-in E: I present them as entertainment. But How? Write-in F: No, I give them to the Late Mr.Guffsons family. [-03 Owlbear cubs] G: Nah. I still want to keep them. --- 4: Do you stay and watch or participate in the festival? Yes/No --- 5: Where to next? H: Grüw! It's a big city and they have an even bigger problem. Another group was headed there to solve it, but, uh, I go anyway! Who knows! Also, it's closer than Braav by a day, and is bound to have enough stores to restock our supplies. They might even have some other work in store for us. [Negates rationing of supplies] [+02 days travel time] I: Back to Braav. [+03 days travel time] J: Somewhere else? You still lack a decent map of the Empire, and travelling without direction is dangerous at best. Still, there might be a lead you wish to peruse? K: Because of another vote earlier or for some other reason, I wish to stay in Sockne. --- Party Thoughts: Khami: We have no need of Owlbear cubs. Give them away or slaughter them; I care not. Tommy: I still say we should eat them. Maybe stay for the festival, share our bounty? Konnie: Stupid Owlbears! Johakim: Now I ain't no fancy critter-doc, but even I know cubs need taking care of. We'll need to hire a stablehand or... or something, if we want to keep these cute little fellows. Kvelar: Are ye sure yer feelin alright lad? Nae.. strange compulsions? Skavbabt: You are a remarkable dwarf, Mr. Thorgrimson. Working with you is such an, adventure. Mhmm. Owlbear Cubs: Hoot Hoot! [Hug us! Feed us!] Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Dec 22, 2015 |
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Dec 22, 2015 21:09
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1.A 2.no 3.E. Hug the owlbear cub for good luck and fortune. A fine dwarven tradition. 4. Yes 5. H
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Dec 22, 2015 21:40
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Yeah, okay, no. Keeping those things is one of the dumbest decicions we could possibly make. They cost us time and money, and we are currently strapped for both. They will take years to grow up, and that point we are either dead, disbanded or wealthy enough to procure mounts of actual worth. They are a pain logistics-wise too; who will keep an eye on them while we are gone, who will constuct a pen for them, who will feed them? How much will all of that cost? 1: C 2: Yes, why not? 3: D. Sacrifice them to Quackeen and pray for assistance to our dismal economic situation 4: Yes. Our morale is flagging (partially because of your decision to adopt the cubs against all sense, as confirmed by our GM) and could use improvement. 5: H. Grüw might have more work for us and won't deplete our morale due to rationing.
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Dec 22, 2015 22:30
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Questions and Answersjazzyhattrick posted:how much is a live owlbear cub worth on the open market? Theantero posted:who will keep an eye on them while we are gone, who will constuct a pen for them, who will feed them? How much will all of that cost? All excellent questions, and ones which you as an accountant are even poised to answer; yet you currently reside in a village of about 50 people, with an additional 50 workers in for the harvest. Sockne is not the place to sell them or to learn how to take care of them. The questions are noted, and will be brought up when you get to a larger town. Speaking of larger towns, perhaps I should tell you a bit more about Grüw to help inform your decision?  (The region as you know it. You still lack a decent map of the Empire.) Grüw is a predominantly dwarven mining town, ruled over by a proper Lord. It is comparable in size to Tukatt Hold, and thus larger than Braav, even if not by the same magnitude that Braav is larger than Sockne. You know caravans travel through Braav to get to Grüw, and that the silver that usually flows through it's mines eventually find their way back to your ancient home and further still beyond. Grüw lies in the mountains to your northeast, and depends heavily on trade to function. It is considered very safe, for few would be foolish enough to attack a mountainous fort head on. Yet the richness of it's mines and the frequency of caravans make it a lucrative target for banditry of all sort.
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Dec 23, 2015 01:49
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Check the cubs' undercarriage. Are the male or female?
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Dec 23, 2015 08:49
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1. B: Tell the villigers it's there, but don't fetch it for them 2. No 3. G 4. Yes 5. H. Lets see if we can sell the cubs at Gruw
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Dec 23, 2015 12:34
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