Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Awesome! posted:

did anyone say star shitizen yet? lmao

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:49

TigerBomb: Sep 25, 2007

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

no such luck

check his posts

Quote your sauces.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:50

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

2.0 update, I'm bored with it already, quantum travel crashed my pc so bad I had to reboot. Think I'm done till next patch, it's not even stable enough to mess around and annoy people. The bed wakeup animation already bugs the gently caress out of me, never mind the run down the stairs and the long delay getting the console to spawn your ship that doesn't always work.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:50

Sillybones: Aug 10, 2013; go away,
spooky skeleton,
go away

Romes128 posted:

The resume is from her website which has been taken down but;

https://web.archive.org/web/2007110...dgcfjjinfhimecg

she seems to have left out a lot of her credentials on her current resume

http://resumes.actorsaccess.com/sandigardiner

Holy poo poo, that is quite the read. Is this typical to lie that much in acting?

She kept the Shine one, though. Was she really in that?

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:51

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Tippis posted:

Hilarious.

Ask him if he has actually ever played any game with an actual physics engine in it before. Setting aside that it's debatable whether SC has a physics-based flight model to begin with, ask him why this �flight model� allows multi-ton ships flutter around with less inertia than a carboard box. Ask him to explain the myriad of deeply irrational movements we see in videos related to collisions, explosions, acceleration, rotation etc. Freelancer had a more realistic flight model than SC does right now for the simple reason that the �physics� of SC has no correlation or connection with any known reality. Also, ask him to play DCS. Or Falcon 3.0 if he wants to see a better physics-based flight model (from 1991).

Next, ask him how the economy of SC works. What are the faucets and sinks of currency, material, goods, and services? What is the production chain from raw material to component to good and back to raw material? Ask for complete and official sources, not something dreamed-up by the community or conceptualised in parts and isolation from the rest of the game world. Then ask him to play anything from the X series or EVE. Or just multiplayer Minecraft.

Ask him the same about the supposed legal system and its design. What are the laws? How are they enforced? By who against whom and under what circumstances? Ask him what the purpose of the FPS is. How does it tie into the spaceship part of the game? What does its economy and legal system look like?

Oh, and ask him how the office locations, the fetish for designer furniture over functional office desks, and the backwards design � starting with all kinds of over-detailed visuals rather than actual game mechanics and systems � is a good use of resources (both monetary and manpower).

or just laugh at him

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:51

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Jerome Louis posted:

here's an email i got from my friend who i learned is obsessed with star citizen after i commented that the game was a joke in an email chain

it was seriously the most disturbing thing i have ever read

Your friend is an idiot. Sorry for your loss.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:51

Bolow: Feb 27, 2007

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Languages
FILIPINO, FRENCH, GERMAN, INDONESIAN, ITALIAN, JAPANESE, SPANISH, TAGALOG

Lol

Hmm now I could have sworn Filipino and Tagalog are the exact same thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tagalog_language

quote:

Its standardized form, officially named Filipino, is the national language

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:51

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Berious posted:

That's like putting "walking" on your resume. Even with the hilarious lying she's got to pad that crap. I really dislike people that make up poo poo for their CV because it works way too often.

obviously hasnt worked cause shes still a f list actress who is trying to make her husband get her famous

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:51

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

She's a qualified marine biologist, knows martial arts, speaks like 6 languages and can wield a sword? Holy heck no wonder Croberts went and married her she's a loving polymath. Also he can't leave her because she could slice him to bits or break his face 3 different ways with just a little finger.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:52

Ffycchi: Jun 4, 2014; Sigh...challenge accepted...shitty photoshop incoming.

I just finally made my request for a refund.. This is a copy of what I sent them with a few details removed

quote:

I do not believe this game will come out in a way I will enjoy with the way it is being developed and managed.

The community is extremely cancerous, rabid, and disgusting whenever you post something they do not agree with.

I have had personal threats made against me simply for posting my opinion.

I would like to do this the civil way and simply ask for a refund of: $*over 300$, yes i know i am an idiot* USD
TOTAL SPENT

That being said, if this does not happen I have a few options that I am willing to pursue if you do not find it a good enough reason:

A.) Contacting my bank and requesting a stop payment.

B.) Since I am in Texas, and your company has a branch here, I am entitled to pursue a claim in small claims court. Which would then include damages due to the fact that I was assaulted by members of the community.

Neither of us want's any of these options, but as it sits, I have lost faith in the community, and a MMO is about the community, and as such I am requesting an immediate refund.

I have no bad feelings in general involved, and if I see a expedient resolution to this situation, as well as an improvement in the community, then I will gladly rethink my position and reinvest in your game.

Regards,

NOPE

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:52

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

I think it's pretty clear that the star citizen alpha was pushed out the door super early to make money for the November sale. As a quick cash grab it worked but ironically it's irreparably harmed the brand and the company. If you can't figure out why that is, then you don't understand game development.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:53

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Sillybones posted:

Holy poo poo, that is quite the read. Is this typical to lie that much in acting?

She kept the Shine one, though. Was she really in that?

her imdb page has her as an uncredited role as restaurant customer. lol

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:53

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Madcosby posted:

or just laugh at him

Hmm. Now that you mention it, that's probably a far more constructive approach.
I retract my response and substitute yours for mine.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:53

Gwaihir: Dec 8, 2009; Hair Elf

Awesome! posted:

did anyone say star shitizen yet? lmao

no youre the first

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:55

Acquilae: May 15, 2013

G0RF posted:

CLASSICAL PIANO (15 YRS), Bikram Yoga, TAE-BO, Kung Fu, Kickboxing, Theatrical Combat, Surfing, MODERN DANCE, SCUBA DIVING, Qualified Marine Biologist, Motorcycling, Tennis, Cycling, Swimming, FOREIGN LANGUAGES - German, French, Japanese, Tagalog and basic Spanish.

No Marketing or Business degrees. Hmmmmmm.

Makes sense. CIG's current opening for a Senior Controller doesn't have a requirement for a degree in finance or accounting, nor any required experience in the field.

Then again, when it comes to managing CIG's finances, there aren't any job responsibilities aside from "do what Chris and Sandi want."

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Dec 16, 2015

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:55

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

Ffycchi posted:

I just finally made my request for a refund.. This is a copy of what I sent them with a few details removed

Let us know what they say when they reply in 4 weeks.

alphabettitouretti posted:

She's a qualified marine biologist

Whale Masseuse.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:55

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

Why yes I speak many different languages such as English, Anglais, French, Francais, Spanish and Espanol. Also I know how to use both swords and scimitars and also I am a qualified head surgeon and expert doctor of the naughty bits.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:56

SquirrelGrip: Jul 4, 2012

G0RF posted:

CLASSICAL PIANO (15 YRS), Bikram Yoga, TAE-BO, Kung Fu, Kickboxing, Theatrical Combat, Surfing, MODERN DANCE, SCUBA DIVING, Qualified Marine Biologist, Motorcycling, Tennis, Cycling, Swimming, FOREIGN LANGUAGES - German, French, Japanese, Tagalog and basic Spanish.

No Marketing or Business degrees. Hmmmmmm.

i think its all lies

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:56

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Star Citizen: qualified marine biologists

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:57

SquirrelGrip: Jul 4, 2012

Eonwe posted:

Star Citizen: qualified marine biologists

Star CItizen: Qualified Scam Apologists

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:58

Ffycchi: Jun 4, 2014; Sigh...challenge accepted...shitty photoshop incoming.

AP posted:

Let us know what they say when they reply in 4 weeks.

Whale Masseuse.

I was going for a friendly, but firm and serious approach, let us see how this works out....I really do not want to be arsed with taking them to court...such a waste of time...

# ? Dec 16, 2015 00:59

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

quote:

Greetings Citizens!

Santa Lando here with some important ship-buying notifications.

To celebrate the holidays, we are selling a limited number of Idris-P AND Javelin, in batches, at six hour intervals.

The Javelin will be sold in a total 200 allotment keeping in line with the relative population growth and ship distribution since it's last sale. It will cost $2500.

The Idris-P will be sold in a total 120 allotment keeping in line with the relative population growth and ship distribution since it's last sale. It will cost $1250.

Holy mother of all "we have always been at war with Eastasia".

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:00

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

ZenMaster posted:

http://theknow.tv/episode/the-know-game-news-season-1-is-star-citizen-finally-coming-out

ouch

*click-bait*

Totally clicking on that poo poo.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:00

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

peter gabriel posted:

I'll be back and posting in 10 short years, just in time for the beta

pgabz in ten years:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qJ1E8EljVM

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:00

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Jerome Louis posted:

here's an email i got from my friend who i learned is obsessed with star citizen after i commented that the game was a joke in an email chain

it was seriously the most disturbing thing i have ever read

I once had a friend out of nowhere send me this giant diatribe about religion. It was 100% out of nowhere.

This reminds me REALLY POINTEDLY of that. :sever:

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:02

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I have been a backer of Star Citizen since March 2014.

I was brought here, ironically enough, by playing Elite Dangerous and wondering if there was anything else out there that could satiate my spaceman needs. Needless to say, I found Star Citizen. My mind was blown because I had always wondered where the guy that made those great Wing Commander and Strike Commander games went to. Those games left such a mark on me that I still remember them to this day.

Anyway, I bought my ship (325a) package and was content that I was part of this movement. Initially, I didn't do too much following of the development process. I followed some of it, but nowhere near what I do now. I didn't really get involved in the community until about a month ago. Mind blown! Seriously.

I have been gaming for decades and I've never experienced a community of gamers like this. I didn't know it existed. I mean, gamers are self-centered, entitled pricks, right? Apparently, not. For years, that was the view that I had of most people in the gaming community. Don't get me wrong, I have seen a few bad nuggets in this community, but overall 99% of this Star Citizen community are generous, kind-hearted people. I've seen people buy ships for total strangers just so they can experience this great process. I've read posts from people who seem to feel something special inside. It blows me away because I am not an emotional guy. In fact, you could probably say that I lack emotions for the most part (I blame the Army). However, this community has struck a chord with me that has me feeling amazing and, well, emotional! Reading people's post about their first experiences as they loaded up the new 2.0 alpha is breathtaking. The feelings that this "game" (phenomenon is a better word!) has evoked in everyone involved is nothing short of spectacular.

Let me close by providing a quick example of an experience that I had in game with a guy named Seryn (sorry if I spelled your name wrong). I had just logged into the session and Seryn was being pretty active in the chat. Reading through it looked like he was at the Security Post (FPS zone) and was asking for nobody to shoot him while he learned his ropes quickly. Shortly after, he responded about someone having shot him. Anyway, I headed over to Security Post and was getting ready to go into the area and landing my Connie. To my left was a Super Hornet firing its weapons. In a panic, I opened fire and destroyed the SH. It turned out to be Seryn trying to get vengeance for his previous death. I apologized and explained that I didn't really know how to tell players apart yet and he was very cool about it. He even flew over to pick me up after someone stole my ship and flew off with it. He didn't get pissed at me; didn't call me a bunch of profane names; didn't try to get revenge on me; He even gave me his TS information so we could fly together in the future.
So, I said all that to say this short, but extremely heart-felt phrase:

Thank you. I'm 36 and I've never experienced anything quite like this in a "game" community before and it's not even finished yet. Imagine how great the finished product will be--and I'm not just talking about the game.

TL;DR: Best community ever. Seriously. Thank you.

-Blaze Andromeda, 9th Security Industries, "Police Force of Star Citizen"

Right. Now GTFO.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:03

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

Romes128 posted:

obviously hasnt worked cause shes still a f list actress who is trying to make her husband get her famous

That's because she's trying to break into Hollywood at an age when actually famous women are restricted to wicked witch roles. I'm mostly salty about people lying to get ahead where they aren't prima facie disqualified.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:03

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Has Karl hosed himself yet?

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:04

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

http://www.dereksmart.org/2015/12/star-citizen-the-hundred-million-dollar-lie/

Edit - I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind me sharing the password here. Platinum Upgrade - Required

AP fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Dec 16, 2015

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:05

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Its no wonder Sandi's main expertise is marine biology; no hair.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:06

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Is this lawsuit out yet? Is it any good?

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:06

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

MeLKoR posted:

Holy mother of all "we have always been at war with Eastasia".

Are those the equivalent ratios when first sold? Be funny if they actually sold more Idris jpegs originally

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:08

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Beet Wagon posted:

Is this lawsuit out yet? Is it any good?

itll be ready when its ready

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:09

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

AP posted:

http://www.dereksmart.org/2015/12/star-citizen-the-hundred-million-dollar-lie/

I'm sure Derek wouldn't mind me sharing the password here. Premium Account Required

Oh man this poo poo is dynamite! Shitizens are going to blow their tops :getin:

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:10

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

alphabettitouretti posted:

She's a qualified marine biologist, knows martial arts, speaks like 6 languages and can wield a sword? Holy heck no wonder Croberts went and married her she's a loving polymath. Also he can't leave her because she could slice him to bits or break his face 3 different ways with just a little finger.

Being a polymath, I'm sure she'd get along well with Karl and Octopode.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:10

Nemo2342: Nov 26, 2007; Have A Day; Nap Ghost

Jerome Louis posted:

here's an email i got from my friend who i learned is obsessed with star citizen after i commented that the game was a joke in an email chain

it was seriously the most disturbing thing i have ever read

Sever.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:11

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Beet Wagon posted:

Is this lawsuit out yet? Is it any good?

My guess? Derek is waiting for the whole thing to go up in smoke. Thousands of Citizens see their jpegs and their funding evaporate, and then he shows up with the class action and the lawyers.

It would break their minds.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:11

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

explosions everywhere

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:13

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Eonwe posted:

sandi is star citizen

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:49

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Beet Wagon posted:

Is this lawsuit out yet? Is it any good?

I'm in the alpha. First impressions:

Whenever I show up at court, I get a "LOL Are you kidding me, this is about a video game?" error message. When I input how much I've spent, I get an immediate crash to facepalm. The Class-Action suit says it can manage up to 400 people, but I've never seen more than 4 people on it at the same time. Loading times are considerably slow; I usually end up sitting on a bench outside the courthouse feeding day old bagels to pigeons. I've seen some people that have been able to enter the court house early, but I think they have conceirge status.

Overall, I'd say the case is just amazing, the high fidelity is out of this world. I can't believe how amazing it is to be part of this; I've spent over $35g in lawyer fees and it's so much fun just to watch them work. The lawyers have full transparency, including open financials, a refreshing change of pace. For example, I was billed $150 for "Paper Copies Relative To Your Case". Pretty nice to get feedback without even asking. I sent over a fruit basket, three large pizzas, and a bottle of scotch handed down to me from my great grandfather. I got a signed memo saying "Thanks you so much!!" signed by my lawyer himself. That's pretty special.

# ? Dec 16, 2015 01:14

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »