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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

as a person who never leaves my house i've done pretty well for myself.
“Women still outnumbered in medical leadership by men with mustaches, study finds”

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Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Haschel Cedricson
Jan 4, 2006

Brinkmanship

davidspackage posted:

My favorite was "Sarcasm is the best"

Nah, the best one was "Calvinist by choice!"

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013

1)https://thefpl.us/episode/123
2)Considering she's 17, I'm hoping this is a case of "we held hands and now am I pregant?"

FairyNuff
Jan 22, 2012

C.M. Kruger
Oct 28, 2013

And of course it happened in the UK.

Dr. Strange M.D.
Oct 30, 2012

Haschel Cedricson posted:

Nah, the best one was "Calvinist by choice!"

As good as that one is, I still love "Guns don't kill people, Fantasy Skeleton kills people."

e.: For content, Canadian caught with 51 turtles in his pants pleads guilty in Michigan

Brazilian police hunt Santa Claus who stole Sao Paulo helicopter

Dr. Strange M.D. has a new favorite as of 06:57 on Dec 19, 2015

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:

Yes I'm sure this was 100% real

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Everyone whining about fake news headlines, please leave.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


So do 19% of Democrats :(

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



GWBBQ posted:

So do 19% of Democrats :(

Both sides of the political spectrum are populated with mouth-breathing, reactionary idiots. Elections are a special hell for me, since it always boils down to which candidate I think will do the least amount of lasting damage.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

flosofl posted:

Both sides of the political spectrum are populated with mouth-breathing, reactionary idiots. Elections are a special hell for me, since it always boils down to which candidate I think will do the least amount of lasting damage.

In the spirit of accelerationism vote Trump 2016

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Goons have already pointed out how dumb that poll was because it was literally YES, NO, UNSURE, there was no option for "that's not a real place" or anything like that

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves
I'm just going to post the article because it's as WTF as the headline itself.

http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/national/why-i-stuck-a-cracker-up-my-clacker/news-story/2a34cec251856fdd6b39852ba4f8ca7d

Haven't had enough NT News in this thread.

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Travis343 posted:

Goons have already pointed out how dumb that poll was because it was literally YES, NO, UNSURE, there was no option for "that's not a real place" or anything like that

I don't really see how that changes anything. If you know it's fake, why would you answer yes? The fact that 30% of republicans support bombing a place they've never heard of is all anybody cares about.

swampland
Oct 16, 2007

Dear Mr Cave, if you do not release the bats we will be forced to take legal action

Wanamingo posted:

I don't really see how that changes anything. If you know it's fake, why would you answer yes?

I'd probably say yes if some pollster asked me if I favored nuking narnia

Wanamingo
Feb 22, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

swampland posted:

I'd probably say yes if some pollster asked me if I favored nuking narnia

Maybe this is just my cultural bias showing, but I'd think that Narnia is a lot more instantly recognizable than the city from Aladdin.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

swampland posted:

I'd probably say yes if some pollster asked me if I favored nuking narnia

You mean Calormen, where the swarthy, robed and turban-wearing men twirl their beards cruelly at the glorious freedoms of their northern neighbors

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


The results are somewhat alarming regardless of how serious they were about the Agrabah question.

http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2015/GOPResults.pdf

Q28 Are you an Evangelical Christian or not?
Yes 50% ..................................................................
No 50%

Q32 Would you support or oppose banning Muslims
from entering the United States?
54% Support banning Muslims from entering the
United States ..................................................
25% Oppose banning Muslims from entering the
United States ..................................................
Not sure 21%

Q33 Do you believe that thousands of Arabs in New
Jersey cheered when the World Trade Center
collapsed on 9/11 or not?
36%
Believe thousands of Arabs in New Jersey
cheered when the World Trade Center
collapsed on 9/11............................................
35%
Do not believe thousands of Arabs in New
Jersey cheered when the World Trade Center
collapsed on 9/11............................................
Not sure 29%

Q34 Would you support or oppose shutting down
mosques in the United States?
28% Support shutting down mosques in the United
States .............................................................
47% Oppose shutting down mosques in the United
States .............................................................
Not sure 26%

Q35 Would you support or oppose creating a
national database of Muslims in the United
States?
46% Support a national database of Muslims in
the United States ............................................
37% Oppose a national database of Muslims in
the United States ............................................
Not sure 17%

Q36 Do you think the religion of Islam should be
legal or illegal in the United States?
53% Islam should be legal in the United States ......
26% Islam should be illegal in the United States ....
Not sure 21%

Although one thing I found interesting in the discrepancy between Republican talking points and the poll results

Q29 Do you support or oppose requiring a criminal
background check of every person who wants
to buy a firearm?
79% Support a criminal background check for
everyone who wants to buy a firearm .............
14% Oppose a criminal background check for
everyone who wants to buy a firearm .............
Not sure 6%

GWBBQ has a new favorite as of 02:48 on Dec 21, 2015

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Religious Hate Group Forgets To Renew Domain Name – Now It Redirects To Hardcore Gay Site

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it you little ho-bot :roboluv:

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJwDwdC6jGg

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 20 hours!
I'm not a beer drinking man, am I missing something here?
Why not get an easily portable keg?

Mu Zeta
Oct 17, 2002

Me crush ass to dust

To get media attention

AlphaKretin
Dec 25, 2014

A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

To mount them on the wall and start singing. :colbert:

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
♫ Take one down, pass it around, don't drink anymore because in the time we took to mount it on the mantle it's become gross warm beer on the wall ♫

Collateral Damage
Jun 13, 2009

How do you even fit that in the fridge?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Collateral Damage posted:

How do you even fit that in the fridge?

Looks like someone doesn't have an 8x12x12 walkin. :smug:

Dicty Bojangles
Apr 14, 2001

Texas-size fridge for a Texas-size case of Texas beer :clint:

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

I'm not a beer drinking man, am I missing something here?
Why not get an easily portable keg?
Despite their names, torpedo kegs and beer balls are significantly less manly and don't get you free advertising when you tip off the local news station

Taeke
Feb 2, 2010


Collateral Damage posted:

How do you even fit that in the fridge?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hYEKXE-4d0

e:

Follow-up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjAZ5esOBZw

Taeke has a new favorite as of 11:51 on Dec 24, 2015

VoteTedJameson
Jan 10, 2014

And stack the four!
Man Stabbed by 400-Pound Woman 'With a Beard'

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/weird/Police-Seek-400-Pound-Bearded-Woman-in-Stabbing-363442981.html

"She was last seen running south on Park Boulevard." Perhaps the most surprising part of the story.

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Um... do I close the thread?

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle
Nah, summat might turn up.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone btw

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.


















Newspaper stories without an image.

http://strangeco.blogspot.com/2015/12/newspaper-clippings-of-day-christmas.html

quote:

"Illustrated Police News (January 1, 1876):

On Monday night last, or, more properly speaking, early on Tuesday morning, very serious consequences resulted from practical joking. A Christmas gathering of happy folks, both young and old, took place at Tatchet House, Derbyshire, the residence of a wealthy gentleman, named Johnson. It would appear that some private theatricals were about to take place in the course of the week, and a Mr. Brounger, who had brought with him all the necessary materials to personate a dragon, dressed himself in his scaley habiliments, after his companions had retired to bed, and sought their bed-room for the purpose of having, what he called, "a lark." Unfortunately he made a mistake in the room, and entered the apartment occupied by one of the maid-servants and Mr. Johnson's children. The effect can be readily imagined. Two of the children were so frightened that for some time their lives were despaired of; and, indeed, it is very questionable if they ever recover from the terrible effects of the sudden fright. The maid-servant herself is seriously unwell in consequence. This incident, it is to be hoped, will act as a warning to hilarious young gentlemen who are fond of practical jokes.

quote:

"Cambridge Press," December 4, 1875:

As Christmas approaches, it may be well to call attention to the terrible consequences which, according to the "Indianapolis Journal," ensued the other day in that city from an hour's amusement in telling ghost stories. A number of young ladies, patients of the Surgical Institute, were assembled in one of the rooms of the establishment, at a late hour in the evening, and whiled away their time by relating to each other stories of apparitions, hobgoblins, ghosts &c. Either intentionally or by accident the gas was suddenly turned off, and, in the climax of a vivid story, one of the young ladies imprudently threw her shawl over the head of a trembling companion seated next to her. There was a little rustle and a short stifled scream. When a light was obtained the melancholy fact was revealed that the poor girl was mad. She has remained so ever since, and very slight hopes are entertained of her recovery. Considerable risk, indeed, attends the reading aloud of the average Christmas ghost story. Strong must be the nerve of any one who can bear unmoved the first few lines of one of these thrilling narratives knowing that he is expected to sit through the remainder. If not stricken with idiocy at the beginning of the tale, he generally becomes more or less stupefied before the climax is reached, and his distressing condition has become patent to all.

quote:

"Alta California," December 29, 1866:

St. Paul, Minn., December 28th.--On Christmas Day, at New Ulm, three men were playing cards, when one of them, named Spinner, was stabbed so badly that he soon bled to death. The others were arrested by the Sheriff, and while on their way to the magistrate they were handcuffed and rescued by a drunken mob and hanged. While hanging, the bodies received a number of cuts from knives.

quote:

The "Brandon Sun," December 20, 1923:

Newark, N.J., Dec. 20--Santa Claus was arrested in Newark in the person of Edward Weldon who solicits funds for the Salvation Army in a red suit and white whiskers in the heart of the shopping district. Weldon was arrested in the presence of a group of children on a charge of assault after he had knocked Ernest Goldberg, a crippled sandwich vendor, into the gutter.

Goldberg had moved too close to the Salvation Army "chimney" maintained by Weldon, in hopes of bettering his trade, and a dispute followed.

quote:

"Melbourne Argus," December 27, 1948:

In Texas, Mrs. Wing Lee's faith in the benign old gentleman was sadly shaken when a badit, disguised as Santa Claus, arrived early in the evening.

When she said, "Haven't you come too early, Santa Claus?" he produced a revolver and robbed her of $10. He then robbed the waiters. Four hundred diners were present.

Nckdictator has a new favorite as of 07:16 on Dec 26, 2015

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

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Stoatbringer
Sep 15, 2004

naw, you love it you little ho-bot :roboluv:

Say Nothing posted:



Um... do I close the thread?

There seemed to be no news on Christmas day, as one of the BBC's articles was "Christians celebrate Christmas".

I was shocked, I can tell you.

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