Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Einbauschrank: Nov 5, 2009

MeLKoR posted:

All of these dreams are going to face a very harsh reality the minute they face actual human opponents with human motivations that might go beyond increased ingame insurance costs or some such nonsense.

They have a point in claiming that the insurance companies might not pay for self destruct. But the really important question is: Why should an insurance company pay out pirates who lost their ship due to their prey self-destructing? From a game mechanical POV and from an "immersive" POV.

In this case pirating would be very risky.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:21

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 16:15

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

Get gary oldman to read this and I MIGHT be impressed *armcross* But seriously that's very sweet, good job :]

lol if you thought that was ironic

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:22

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

This is a reminder to all shitizens to not kill yourself when you realize you've been totally scammed.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:23

Romes128: Dec 28, 2008; Fun Shoe

Xaerael posted:

Did Octopode kill himself, or something? It's been a while.

hopefully

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:23

Chalks: Sep 30, 2009

Gryphon0468 posted:

You'll find he's hilariously wrong about a lot of things, but he sounds sure of himself so you guys just eat it up without question.

Said a guy backing Chris Roberts' vision.

I guess you only believe someone if they say it while mumbling and sounding like they don't know what they're on about. Remember that time CR played his own game on steam while looking like he had literally never seen it before? That must have just filled you with confidence.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:24

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Wafflz posted:

Hey Gryphon1879623978615876528153861539152,

What do you think of CIG spending tens of thousands of your dollars on hilariously overpriced and non-functional furniture?

Excuse me sir but do you have the actual receipts? Can you prove that CIG employees didn't bring that furniture from their own homes? Yeah, didn't think so, you're just repeating something you heard from Derek Smart. :smuggo:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:26

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Xaerael posted:

My xmas wish is for xXx420Gryphon420xXx, SS High Auditor Karl and Secret Agent Octopode to have a moment of clarity and realize they're being scammed to hell, then have a second moment of clarity and realize what a bunch of morons they've been for trying to defend a criminal enterprise because they're essentially suffering from a form of denial based buyer's remorse.

Octopode doesn't really belong on that list as he does more than just pop into the thread and call people names. PeterGriffin1234 and Ubergruppenkarl are just markov chains populated by r/starcitizen high karma posts.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:29

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Mirificus posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/308601/cig-sales-please-extend-the-ship-sale-through-the-new-year-holiday

The little symbol under his username is "Grand Admiral" which means he's spent at least $2500.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:32

Chin: Dec 12, 2005; GET LOST 2013
-RALPH

I can relate to the cultists. I know what it's like to read about a promising new MMO in development and have my imagination run wild with the possibilities. I went through the same thing when I was an idiot child.

Wookie Bouquet posted:

Reddit is really good about encouraging circlejerk/groupthink behavior. It's a problem with how things are structured/ranked and moderation can't fix it because the moderators of subs are always the ones most bought into the bullshit.

This is pretty much what makes /r/starcitizen one of the most hilarious things to read on the internet.

The SC moderators even went so far as to edit their subreddit's theme to hide the Controversial tab at the top. You have to go into your preferences and disable "allow subreddits to show me custom themes" to see it.

Can't have people looking at stuff that receives a roughly equivalent amount of up and down votes!

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:37

Rad Russian: Aug 15, 2007; Soviet Power Supreme!

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

The little symbol under his username is "Grand Admiral" which means he's spent at least $2500.

No different from Scientology sucking in full paychecks from people who are living month-to-month.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:38

Bait and Swatch: Sep 5, 2012; Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread

The best part about this whole thing is that gryphon and the other citizens think that this is some epic battle that will have a winner and a loser.

Lol if you think that goons won't have just as much fun shattering the delusions of the spergs in their $1000 autism chariots if this game does somehow manage to come out.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:40

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mr.Tophat posted:

Try waiting three seconds for airhorns buddy.

What in blazes are you talking about?

Waited well past a minute. The rest is just joshing you about your commitment to the Smart way of life.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:41

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Jobbo_Fett posted:

The 'VERSE is yours...

Nope. Just the world. THIS world. The 'verse is too huge, too grand, too immense and varied for any one person to ow....What? What was I saying? Think I blacked out there for a second.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 19:48

Bait and Swatch: Sep 5, 2012; Join me, Comrades
In the Star Citizen D&D thread

Gryphon8675309 rolls over in his sleep, suddenly he is in the verse. He looks left and right at his sweet fleet of spaceships crewed by NPCs, veterans of 100 battles. He queues his mic, broadcasting to his whole automated fleet, "Today is the day we have longed for friends, today we have our revenge on the goons!" The whole fleet jumps as one, appearing in the middle of the cheap goon ships that they are stuck with due to their non-belief. "YES!!! RETURN TO YOUR LOWTAX AND YOUR DSMART GOONIES!!! THE DAY IS MINE!!!

His cries of victory wake him from his slumber. As his eyes open he remembers the game is still in pre pre alpha 3.14. "drat! Guess I'll have to continue my planning while I wait" he mutters to himself as he reaches for the notebook containing his strategies that always lay on the nightstand. He pauses, "well, maybe after I go and drop a sick burn on the forums."

And scene

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:01

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Bait and Swatch posted:

Gryphon8675309 rolls over in his sleep, suddenly he is in the verse. He looks left and right at his sweet fleet of spaceships crewed by NPCs, veterans of 100 battles. He queues his mic, broadcasting to his whole automated fleet, "Today is the day we have longed for friends, today we have our revenge on the goons!" The whole fleet jumps as one, appearing in the middle of the cheap goon ships that they are stuck with due to their non-belief. "YES!!! RETURN TO YOUR LOWTAX AND YOUR DSMART GOONIES!!! THE DAY IS MINE!!!

His cries of victory wake him from his slumber. As his eyes open he remembers the game is still in pre pre alpha 3.14. "drat! Guess I'll have to continue my planning while I wait" he mutters to himself as he reaches for the notebook containing his strategies that always lay on the nightstand. He pauses, "well, maybe after I go and drop a sick burn on the forums."

And scene

*Opens bookmarked link reddit.com/u/beer4thebeergod for the first of many times today*

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:03

serious norman: Dec 13, 2007; im pickle rick!!!!

Bait and Swatch posted:

Lol if you think that goons won't have just as much fun shattering the delusions of the spergs in their $1000 autism chariots if this game does somehow manage to come out.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:19

BrutalistMcDonalds: Oct 4, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Chalks posted:

Said a guy backing Chris Roberts' vision.

I guess you only believe someone if they say it while mumbling and sounding like they don't know what they're on about. Remember that time CR played his own game on steam while looking like he had literally never seen it before? That must have just filled you with confidence.

No, you see, him failing to play his own game only demonstrates his genius. He's engaged in such high-level planning on such an epic scale, he can't be bothered with the mundane task of actually playing the game. You should be humbled to even witness Christ Roberts himself in a livestream attempt a task reserved for mere fishes like yourself.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:20

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

BATGIRL: LET'S PEW-PEW! FREELANCER IN ACTION!

quote:

Here is a play session I had Tuesday night. I am very happy with the latest build of the alpha. Even though I crashed, I was still able to have thirty minutes of bug free enjoyment. Czar came along for a ride in my Freelancer, although, he did try to hijack it from me. Thank god for the unable to kill me bug."

The bug free play session includes:

1) the non-stop sound of steam escaping from a pipe (no matter what she does to attempt to stop it, and no matter where she goes in game)

2) an attempt on Nikki's life which was thwarted by a bug, "I knew he was trying to kill me. Thank God for that bug!"

3) her would be murderer co-pilot attempting to leave the ship to reset the array and getting stuck in some weird perpetual space wriggle...

4) this thing...

5) Her inability to keep track of her attacker because 70% of the screen is blocked by the high-fidelity space metal (feature, not a bug...)

6) Her inability to exit her ship to perform a mission, leading to a hard crash, which- though it kills her game, does not stop the non-stop steam-escaping-a-pipe sound effect.

All in all, a very exciting session. But nowhere near as enjoyable to watch as Peter Gabriel's recent outings.

G0RF fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Dec 24, 2015

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:22

Libluini: May 18, 2012; I gravitated towards the Greens, eventually even joining the party itself.

The Linke is a party I grudgingly accept exists, but I've learned enough about DDR-history I can't bring myself to trust a party that was once the SED, a party leading the corrupt state apparatus ...; Grimey Drawer

G0RF posted:

BATGIRL: LET'S PEW-PEW! FREELANCER IN ACTION!

The bug free play session includes:

1) the non-stop sound of steam escaping from a pipe (no matter what she does to attempt to stop it, and no matter where she goes in game)

2) an attempt on Nikki's life which was thwarted by a bug, "I knew he was trying to kill me. Thank God for that bug!"

3) her would be murderer co-pilot attempting to leave the ship to reset the array and getting stuck in some weird perpetual space wriggle...

4) this thing...

5) Her inability to keep track of her attacker because 70% of the screen is blocked by the high-fidelity space metal (feature, not a bug...)

6) Her inability to exit her ship to perform a mission, leading to a hard crash, which- though it kills her game, does not stop the non-stop steam-escaping-a-pipe sound effect.

All in all, a very exciting session. But nowhere near as enjoyable to watch as Peter Gabriel's recent outings.

Honestly, this sounds like a parody game making fun of bad video games. The complete sincerity of CIG basically transforms Star Citizen into the Plan 9 from Outer Space of video games.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

G0RF posted:

All in all, a very exciting session. But nowhere near as enjoyable to watch as Peter Gabriel's recent outings.

I have no legs and I must scream.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:30

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Holy poo poo.
A friend of mine helped send some guys down a few years ago, they were stealing pension money, all already very rich but assholes.
They got released today.
I have just watched him give all the money they were due from dividends to an age concern charity, live, while they were also watching.
Holyyyyy fuuuuuuuccckkk, he just held the screen up to his camera, there was �3.8 million and he loving clicked the donate button.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:30

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

Libluini posted:

Honestly, this sounds like a parody game making fun of bad video games. The complete sincerity of CIG basically transforms Star Citizen into the Plan 9 from Outer Space of video games.

So basically it's goat simulator with a 100 million dollar budget

and :gary:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:32

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

I'm literally loving buzzing ha ha

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:32

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

He ended the stream by looking at the camera and saying 'Merry Christmas motherfuckers'

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:34

Coolguye: Jul 6, 2011; Required by his programming!

peter gabriel posted:

Holy poo poo.
A friend of mine helped send some guys down a few years ago, they were stealing pension money, all already very rich but assholes.
They got released today.
I have just watched him give all the money they were due from dividends to an age concern charity, live, while they were also watching.
Holyyyyy fuuuuuuuccckkk, he just held the screen up to his camera, there was �3.8 million and he loving clicked the donate button.

a good christmas

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:36

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

I'm speaking to him now, his solicitors are not happy lmao

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:37

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Bait and Swatch posted:

Lol if you think that goons won't have just as much fun shattering the delusions of the spergs in their $1000 autism chariots if this game does somehow manage to come out.

Please don't run in the spaceport. You're breaking my immersion :qq:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:41

Nemo2342: Nov 26, 2007; Have A Day; Nap Ghost

peter gabriel posted:

I'm speaking to him now, his solicitors are not happy lmao

Your friend is a true hero.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:44

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

G0RF posted:

6) Her inability to exit her ship to perform a mission, leading to a hard crash, which- though it kills her game, does not stop the non-stop steam-escaping-a-pipe sound effect.

lost it at this part :roflolmao:

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:44

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Nemo2342 posted:

Your friend is a true hero.

Best screenshot I could get...

�3.7 million

This has been going on for a few years now, death threats etc.
I'm more worried than anything tbh now

peter gabriel fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Dec 24, 2015

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:45

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Let's say, hypothetically, that I was to visit The 'Verse today for a bit of honest, not-at-all at anyone's expense fun.

Should I get on the 2.0.0 server, or the 2.1.0 PTU?

Hypothetically.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:46

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

G0RF posted:

bug free play session

That's an odd definition of bug free.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:46

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Scruffpuff posted:

Let's say, hypothetically, that I was to visit The 'Verse today for a bit of honest, not-at-all at anyone's expense fun.

Should I get on the 2.0.0 server, or the 2.1.0 PTU?

Hypothetically.

Hypothetically you should go outside, steal a neighbours car and crash it into their house. This will provide a similar experience to star citizen only it will be cheaper and you'll be released from prison to do it again quicker than you will be able to get ten minutes of bug free play.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:51

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Scruffpuff posted:

Let's say, hypothetically, that I was to visit The 'Verse today for a bit of honest, not-at-all at anyone's expense fun.

Should I get on the 2.0.0 server, or the 2.1.0 PTU?

Hypothetically.

PTU. More ships to steal.

Mirificus posted:

That's an odd definition of bug free.

Backers consider anything planned for release to be evidence of reality. A bug free game is planned for release. Therefore the game is bug free.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:51

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

power went out again last night

candle light flickering i began to write, not even aware of the words flowing from my quill pen. whispers heard or not heard, were they in my mind or were they the spirits of game development trying to cast light upon the darkness surrounding me. Eventually, all went dark and silent.

I awoke in a state of confusion, was it just a dream, did the power even go out? The clock flashed 12:00. It wasn't a dream. Upon my desk sat a solitary sheet of paper. One word was written upon it. Maybe written isn't a fair description, more like gouged! I was momentarily shocked, but once I was able to control my breathing and put aside my fear, I read the word, and my world then changed, for on that paper the word was...."fidelity"

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:53

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

The creation of Star Citizen

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:53

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Mirificus posted:

The creation of Star Citizen

Not pictured: as the creator touches his creation it spins off wildly into the distance. Also He declares that the creation will be fully redesigned within two weeks.

# ? Dec 24, 2015 20:55