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Happy Sisyphus
Nov 13, 2013

You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

:lesnick: is Ira Glass and those two radiolab guys in a costume pretending to be one person

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Ash1138
Sep 29, 2001

Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

drat Dirty Ape posted:

It takes a lot of jpegs to fill the hole in a lonely heart.
you know, they say you don't buy it, you rent it, the thing. you really, uh, what do you keep? i mean you don't keep *anything* really. security, things...things. you know, it's just you try to stave off insecurity: you can't do it. that's what i'm tellin' ya. stocks, bonds, objects of art, crowdfunding pledges, what are they? an opportunity. to what? to make money? perhaps. to lose money? perhaps. to indulge and to learn about ourselves, perhaps. so fuckin' what? what is it? they're an opportunity. that's all they are: an event. a guy comes to you, you read a blog, you see a post. i have these spaceships i would like for you to see. what does this mean? what do you want it to mean? you see what i'm saying? things happen to you.

i wanna show you something. it may mean something to you, it may not, i don't know anymore. what is that? star citizen. squadron 42. star cit-i-zen. bullshit. and maybe that's true and that's what i said, but look at this. what is this? this is a ship package. listen to what i'm gonna tell ya now.

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

Bootcha posted:

Discretion of management.

HEY CIG PI TRAWLING THE FORUMS FOR LEAKS!

First off, gently caress you.

Second, I forgive you, you were brought in to do a job. Whatever, water under the bridge, I don't know YOUR name yet, I suspect I could if I wanted, but gently caress it. For now.

Third, in exchange for ratting me out to CIG, I want you to go to Sandi and Ortwin and tell them to refund this "Humility" guy. No ifs-ands-or-fucks about it. This guy is not fiscally responsible and in no way shape or form contributes to your employer's well-being or your paycheck.

You're a former cop, read this guy's posts; assess this risk. This guy is not mentally sound. I want you to tell Sandi and Ortwin to refund this guy. Have Sandi send him a personal email saying "we appreciate your enthusiasm and support, but we don't need you to endanger your well-being and relationships to make this game, here's your money back, we will see you at launch, see you in the 'verse". gently caress, give him a free Aurora so he can AC and PTU 2-point-gently caress. There's no LIMITED STOCK for internet spaceships for fucks sake.

Do it and we're even.

Don't and you're a desk-riding incompetent cock-holster.

did they hire that retired cop turned RSI moderator Maul###?

jaegerx
Sep 10, 2012

Maybe this post will get me on your ignore list!


Ash1138 posted:

you know, they say you don't buy it, you rent it, the thing. you really, uh, what do you keep? i mean you don't keep *anything* really. security, things...things. you know, it's just you try to stave off insecurity: you can't do it. that's what i'm tellin' ya. stocks, bonds, objects of art, crowdfunding pledges, what are they? an opportunity. to what? to make money? perhaps. to lose money? perhaps. to indulge and to learn about ourselves, perhaps. so fuckin' what? what is it? they're an opportunity. that's all they are: an event. a guy comes to you, you read a blog, you see a post. i have these spaceships i would like for you to see. what does this mean? what do you want it to mean? you see what i'm saying? things happen to you.

i wanna show you something. it may mean something to you, it may not, i don't know anymore. what is that? star citizen. squadron 42. star cit-i-zen. bullshit. and maybe that's true and that's what i said, but look at this. what is this? this is a ship package. listen to what i'm gonna tell ya now.

Source your quotes

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


Wonder maybe someday in the future after this goes tits-up "spaceship picture" will replace "bridge in Florida" in the old "I got a __________ to sell ya" quip.

Ferrovanadium
Mar 22, 2013

APEX PREDATOR

-MOST AMMUNITION EXPENDED ON CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT
-WORST KDR VS CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT

context: F-Frog is a markov bot that someone fed all of Derek Smart's posts to

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

A Neurotic Jew posted:

Bootcha tell us what Ortwin Freyermouth is like :allears:

SOOOOoooooo parrrrrrrrrrpy!:allears:

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Lol

"2015 was the best year for Star Citizen"

Of course it is! They went from "no game" to "tech demo", there is literally nowhere else for Star Citizen to go but up

To.

The.

MOON, BABY!

Amazing Zimmo
Jan 27, 2006

That's quite a load you got in them diapers
There has been a few serious posts so to balance that out ....

Introducing the latest jpeg module from Amazing Zimmo Industries:

BrutalistMcDonalds
Oct 4, 2012


Lipstick Apathy

Amazing Zimmo posted:

There has been a few serious posts so to balance that out ....

Introducing the latest jpeg module from Amazing Zimmo Industries:


:captainpop:

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
pew pew pew boom boom




Ships spawn right on the markings on the pads. the red lines are where connie/retaliator spawn.

You don't see them on your hud until someone gets in. Also they dont have their shields turned on until someone gets in.

hakimashou fucked around with this message at 09:48 on Dec 29, 2015

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Amazing Zimmo posted:

There has been a few serious posts so to balance that out ....

Introducing the latest jpeg module from Amazing Zimmo Industries:



Can I be a goonjacker too?

Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
Is this game out yet?

IrvingWashington
Dec 9, 2007

Shabbat Shalom
Clapping Larry
Does someone have the gif of hobo santa rolling into frame during the Croberts playtest easily at hand? I need it for reasons. Spacereasons.

Never mind, found it.

IrvingWashington fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Dec 29, 2015

Dapper Dan
Dec 16, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 years!

Amazing Zimmo posted:

There has been a few serious posts so to balance that out ....

Introducing the latest jpeg module from Amazing Zimmo Industries:



This is genius. You now have to buy poo poo for your ships like its a car. What that extra nitrous? Pay for it! Want your ship to have fancy unpickable door locks? Pay for it! (Alternatively, want to break into someone's ship? Pay for upgraded lock picks!)

They could keep this poo poo up forever by offering to pay people to stop griefing and pay people to circumvent that, like a war of escalation that never ends.

Berious
Nov 13, 2005

Scruffpuff posted:

2) The answers from Captain Autism. Watch his hands, listen to his mumbly half-coherent responses. Slowly realize that he has no loving plan for this game, but gently caress it, whatever you just asked about, definitely - that's definitely going in the game.

I love it when shitizens go "Chris said..." then quote something about the game like they are quoting holy scripture. I'm sure Chris doesn't remember 99% of the poo poo he's mushmouthed about the game. And his underlings sure aren't going to bring it up and create more impossible work for themselves.

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Microwaves Mom posted:

Is this game out yet?

Yes and it's finished and amazing, everyone is playing it

IrvingWashington
Dec 9, 2007

Shabbat Shalom
Clapping Larry

Dapper Dan
Dec 16, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 years!

Berious posted:

I love it when shitizens go "Chris said..." then quote something about the game like they are quoting holy scripture. I'm sure Chris doesn't remember 99% of the poo poo he's mushmouthed about the game. And his underlings sure aren't going to bring it up and create more impossible work for themselves.

When Gary Oldman said he was like George Lucas, you pretty much know he's talking about prequel era George and not a New Hope Era George.

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015




my photoshop efforts finally paid off and i finally have a avatar worthy of all citizens out there :)
thank god i got rid of that bonzie buddy avatar

Acquilae
May 15, 2013

Justin Tyme posted:

"I like my Reliant" says a man about a thing that doesn't even exist yet even in the model viewer program. The sheer thought of thinking you "own" a digital object, wow

Depending on what parts of the forum you read, I fluctuate from not blaming/praising CR from fleecing gullible sperg fucktards/furries out of millions, to thinking they're assholes for abusing people with genuine mental illness.
This is one of my favorite things about the cultists, they always imagine their JPEG in a dream and talk as if they actually have it within the game. They even write paragraphs of what they'll be doing after if the game comes out, when the ship(s) aren't even in the hangar phase.

That and how these idiots thought video game pirating was going to be some adorable Jack Sparrow treasure hunt across the 'verse and not more along the lines of modern day Somali ship hijacking/griefing.

Acquilae fucked around with this message at 11:07 on Dec 29, 2015

Dapper Dan
Dec 16, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 years!

Acquilae posted:

This is one of my favorite things about the cultists, they always imagine their JPEG in a dream and talk as if they actually have it within the game. They even write paragraphs of what they'll be doing after if the game comes out, when the ship(s) aren't even in the hangar phase.

That and how these idiots thought video game pirating was going to be some adorable Jack Sparrow treasure hunt across the 'verse and not more along the lines of modern day Somali ship hijacking/griefing.

The people who hate Steam because of DRM and Star Citizens who think they own a digital image should never, ever meet because it would be like matter and anti-matter meeting, it would blow up the entire world.

pun pundit
Nov 11, 2008

I feel the same way about the company bearing the same name.

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if they were the same people.

Dapper Dan
Dec 16, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 3 years!

pun pundit posted:

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if they were the same people.

I didn't think that much cognitive dissonance could exist

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Dapper Dan posted:

I didn't think that much cognitive dissonance could exist

A lot of backers say they are supporting SC because they hate the way big publishers fill their games with Micro-transactions and pay to win.

Chin
Dec 12, 2005

GET LOST 2013
-RALPH
I hope someone's doing their doctoral thesis in psychology or sociology on this goddamn greasy horror show.

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

Fatkraken posted:

A lot of backers say they are supporting SC because they hate the way big publishers fill their games with Micro-transactions and pay to win.

yep they hate ship skins, hangar items, UEC chit and subscription. SC don't do that...nope sir..not at all.

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

hakimashou posted:


Then boot up star shitizen, and visit your hangar. This is where it gets janky.

Near where you spawn in should be some kind of table you can press F on, it brings up an unintuitive hologram interface. You do things by clicking the mouse and dragging.

At the top are categories, you swap between categories by clicking on the top and dragging it to one side or another like a wheel.

Select "ships" and you should see a little hologram of your ship on the right, click it and drag it to the middle.

Move the top category wheel over to 'weapons'

For me, the weapons dont visually appear at first. you have to move your mouse around the blank space to the right of the hologram ship until you find the invisible weapon, a box will appear with a description for it.

On your ship hologram model, you can see the weapons already equipped, you click them and drag them off to the right to unequip them.

They get replaced by blue? spheres on the hologram, the sphere represents an open hard point.

*note, i think if you need to remove gimbals, this is the time to do it, by dragging them off to the right like the weapons*

Hunt around in the blank space for your tarantula or longsword gun, and once you've found it, click and drag to one of the hardpoints on the ship. If you're successful, the blue sphere will vanish.

Once you've got the ballistic guns equipped, you need to rotate the category wheel once again, to the 'ammo' category. you may or may not be able to see ammo on the right side, if it hasnt appeared, play the mouse curson hunt game again.

The main hologram of your ship will once again display colored sphered, a colored sphere now indicates a gun that doesnt have ammo equipped. Drag the ammo to the sphere until the sphere goes away. If the sphere has disappeared, you've succeeded.

Once you're done, exit back to main menu and go into the griefing module, the guns you rented+equipped should be on your space ship when you spawn it in.

What a wonderful and immersive and fidelity-filled way to change weapon loadouts huh!

* For me, ships dont render at 5km out, but you can still target them with Y, and that draws a box around them on your hud, just fire into the center of the box and move the mouse around a bit until you get confirmed hits. It shows a hologram of the targeted ship on the top right of your hud, and shows when you score hits. You can see the ships explode from 5k out and will lose target lock on them when they do.

* if the mouse seems to have a giant dead zone when you're trying to use it to aim, try pressing ctrl-G or ctrl-C, those change something with the mouse aiming mode i think.

:effort:

All that just to switch guns around??

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

alphabettitouretti posted:

All that just to switch guns around??

the wrench and spanner module is coming soon

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Star Citizen: It's like getting AIDS because of your coke addiction!

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
Someone ask Chris if he can add engineering to the game where every module has to be manually repaired and fitted.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel

alphabettitouretti posted:

All that just to switch guns around??

All that.

Berious
Nov 13, 2005

alphabettitouretti posted:

All that just to switch guns around??

I've seen shitizens talk excitedly about "grabby hands". Either it's the long awaited sexual assault module or it's like something out of that ancient nearly forgotten dinosaur game called Trespasser where you actually controlled your hands with the mouse to do anything. It was hilarious and impractical. Also you could look down and see your character's big tits.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Chin posted:

I hope someone's doing their doctoral thesis in psychology or sociology on this goddamn greasy horror show.

I said a long time ago that I was pretty sure CIG had consulted a psychologist on how to target their sales. They hit all the points and stuff like this doesn't just magically happen without a lot of thought, sure :lesnick: is a major collecting nerd and would know how to push that button but you can imagine him saying it as "wouldn't it be cool if?" and Chris Roberts going "hey sure, whatever you want".

Once they figured out that people were collecting all 5 ships during the kickstarter, I think that's when they lost themselves and arrived at using every marketing trick going trying to sell 100+ ships, to mostly the same people 3 years later.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless


The way they swallow CIGs hours of advertisement pap and call it "open development" while justifying that they don't have access to the design documents (that don't exist) because it would otherwise "spoil the surprise" is endearing.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
It's amazing how successfully they've been able to create value for the jpegs they sell, and now the ones you can fly around in Crash Commander2.0 or whatever.

Why should ship A be worth 80 dollars, ship X be worth 110 dollars, ship Y 125, and ship Z 165? Sure each one is a 'step above' the previous one in capabilities in thier imaginary game, but why are those numbers reasonable? Why is 80 dollars a reasonable baseline to iterate up from, and twice that a reasonable end point?

It's just the numbers they picked, but a god awful lot of people have accepted that as some sort of reasonable and sensible value. It's not just people who pledge to support the game development either, from the get-go there has been a large aftermarket for these.

Someone buying on the aftermarket is very emphatically not adding backing to the game, the money he spends is not money that goes to the development. He just thinks "this jpeg/ship is worth 155 dollars, and so I will pay 155 dollars for it and then it will be mine". Or 250 dollars, or 550 dollars, or 1500 dollars, or 2500 dollars.

Somehow, to something approaching a million people, they've made this seem reasonable and fair.

Someone at CIG is very clever and also a bad person. Probably more than just one someone.

And they're set for life now behind this poo poo, which is why it needs to fail, and why there has to be accountability. Being the best pimp or the best drug dealer is supposed to end with you going to prison.

hakimashou fucked around with this message at 12:51 on Dec 29, 2015

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

fuctifino posted:



Chris demonstrating the working prototype.

Error: That's actually a playable game

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

hakimashou posted:

Somehow, to something approaching a million people, they've made this seem reasonable and fair.

The million people is highly debateable (a lie) I forget how they count it but actual paying backers is nowhere near.

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

no

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hanales
Nov 3, 2013

I came here to post this quote.

Jobbo you are the hero of the world

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