Calaveron posted:

Durr, I was thinking comic books

Travis343 posted:

Today I logged in to the Something Awful Forums and a werthers original fell out of my DVD drive.

quote:

proposal: a thread about animal husbandry in the pet forum

reality: a moderator unrepentantly killed animals with ac/dc hadoukens and probated people who asked questions

Bleremiah posted:

What is this referencing?

Haier posted:

I have some racism that I can write about lately:

I posted about a mistress friend a long time ago in the old thread (Tl;Dr - Was a nice girl but I found out she's a mistress to a very rich business man and gets paid to do gentle email work and get rudely poked several times a week by an old guy pushing 60 who also holds her life hostage). She writes me sometimes to give me updates, because I like hearing about her crazy life being kept in a prison apartment by this insane old dude.

After I left China, she was chatting me on WeChat and the old man was there and got really upset that she was chatting. He went into a rage that she has friends and immediately started in on a tirade about how good to her he's been and she's so ungrateful and how could he do this to her. She said she was just chatting with a friend, because it was raining outside and she was bored. He accused her of having a secret boyfriend, and from there his mind went into overdrive with possibilities.

For the next two weeks, he refused to let her go outside alone and always accompanied her. Even if he would ask her to go to the market to get something for him, he would follow behind her. If she spent a little long in the bathroom, he would start screaming about her chatting with this mystery man.
Eventually he came to the point where he assumed the man must be foreign, because no Chinese would talk to her because he would instantly know her mistress position.

Every day when he was out, she would tell me the great advice he would give her about foreigners to try to sway her away from her awful decision to know one. He's also a total TCM fanatic, so she gets extra advice on top of it.

1. Foreigners are unfaithful to women and cannot be trusted in personal and business relationships. This is coming from a man who purposely moved his wife and several kids far away to another province so she wouldn't bust in on him living with his mistress five days a week. He actually has to fly back to go see her.

2. All foreigners have sexual diseases and brought them all to China and China never had any diseases like this until foreigners showed up.

3. Americans are the worst of all foreigners because he did business with an American company and the money got delayed by like five weeks and even though he got paid he assumed they were just running away with his money like a Chinese business would do, therefore American people are the worst of all people.

4. Chinese girls who marry foreigners will be immediately be sold into sex trafficking schemes. In fact, this is the most common thing that happens to Chinese girls who go abroad. Americans are the biggest offenders at this.

5. Don't do yoga, it's foreign, and therefore will affect a Chinese body too strangely and badly.

6. Sexual positions, masturbation, and oral sex are all foreign ideas and will destroy the body and cause many diseases.

7. Foreign medical systems are not as powerful as TCM. China should have never accepted the Western medical practices, it is destroying Chinese solidarity.

8. His idea of China hierarchy is Hong Kong> China > Taiwan. Due to some business in HK that went wrong (probably his fault), they are the worst Chinese out of all Chinese and can't be trusted.

9. Foreigners like sex too much, and you will get liver and kidney disease if let a foreigner control the amount of sex haved.

10. Germans are ok.


On top of this, he packed her up and moved her to another city to a different apartment he just rented and then goes back and forth daily by car, just so in his scheming mind he could remove her from where he thinks the "problem" is, causing himself a huge amount of money and time wasted. Even there when she goes out alone, he has a meltdown and accuses her of going off to meet a guy. He gave instructions to the front-desk workers and building guards to keep an eye on her.
She told him she was going to another city to see her family on her birthday and he said he was buying a plane ticket too and would follow her to make sure she is "safe." She told him nope and he went into a tantrum and went to see his wife for a week to spite himself.

One more bad thing caused by foreigners:
Since he demands sex from his mistress, we used to joke about it because he's old and unhealthy and I asked her what happens. She said he pushes her over after her shower and makes her open up. He thinks kissing is cheating on his wife, along with foreplay, so he tries to shove his nearly-60-year-old wiener in her totally dry vagina. He manages to get in and 10-30 seconds later blows it and rolls over and gets back on his business laptop. She said it's pretty painful due to not being turned on at all, so I recommended lube. She bought some and right before he was about to stab at her, she slopped some on him. He was so offended by this. He blamed foreigners for lube and the idea to use lube, went limp, and gave her the silent treatment for two days.


Welp, another life made more difficult by my association.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Those are loving delicious candies. Unrelated, I am a Something Awful moderator.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

Two actions by Pet Island former moderator Pile of Kittens, who

a) killed a parakeet by putting its cage next to a space heater, and
b) probated Twisty for asking questions about chickens in the Ask Questions About Chickens thread.

Mans posted:

wasn't there a goon who farted so much around his parrot that it started to mimick fart noises?

theflyingorc posted:

the best PI thing is still the person trying to own a maremma.

basically bringing one of the only breeds that is ACTUALLY a murderdog and putting it in a house with small children

theflyingorc posted:

the best PI thing is still the person trying to own a maremma.

basically bringing one of the only breeds that is ACTUALLY a murderdog and putting it in a house with small children

ryonguy posted:

Was that the breed somebody else posted about having and related an incident in which the dog chewed through a wall, fought with a horse in its stall on the other side of the wall, all on the way to play with another farm animal? Because that quote was hilarious.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

I liked the thread with the guy who needed to rehome his dog because taking it for walks was cutting into his WoW time.


No, the one that chewed through the wall was a less extreme murderdog breed.

Lottery of Babylon posted:

I liked the thread with the guy who needed to rehome his dog because taking it for walks was cutting into his WoW time.

Shugojin posted:

I got curious about that so I hunted it around and holy lol she had an 8 week old premature born baby and possibly autistic 2 year old and was planning on getting a literal sheep dog, bred to fight off wolves and poo poo.

Mostly I got thrown off by you guys saying murderdog which put me in mind of fighting dogs but yeah that would have made it murder something

my dad posted:

Which resulted in a goldmined report thread.

Proper Hoodidge posted:

http://www.guildox.com/wow/toon/us/Blackrock/Wojtek

Average iLvl 572.0 Last Login 2014-02-27
Achievement Points 19000 Honorable Kills 5921
Battleground Rating 0 Raid Boss Kills 3993
Mounts 266 Unique Pets 507

Alts

Name Lv Server
Dadtime 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Falseflag 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Ranga 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Soltego 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Whoatek 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Wojciech 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Wojitek 90 Mal'Ganis-US
Wojtekk 90 Aegwynn-US
Wojtekk 90 The Venture Co-US

Slugworth posted:

505

ryonguy posted:

Was that the breed somebody else posted about having and related an incident in which the dog chewed through a wall, fought with a horse in its stall on the other side of the wall, all on the way to play with another farm animal? Because that quote was hilarious.

theflyingorc posted:

yeah, as the other guy said, that poster had what I believe was a great Pyrenees, which can be a difficult breed but people DO keep them as pets. Maremmas are several times more intense than that dog.

Also, you forgot the part where the dog that chewed through the wall and got kicked by a horse so that it could protect it's flock had surgery the previous day.

she wanted a dog that was several times more intense than a dog that broke out like it was Jason Bourne

fredleander posted:

Nothing to do with ubermensch - just a question of being professional. Oh, well, they didn't expect much resistance. The German generals, that is. Adolf, of course, didn't understand poo poo. That said, it would be interesting to hear what you KNOW about Operation Sea Lion. Not just the usual feverish denial stuff....some real facts. (If you don't have any I recommend my book - https://www.fredleander.com). But, I warn you, it should be very frustrating for lovers of the Ancient Empire. Ah, you didn't know it's gone....?

I suspect you know as little about Operation Sea Lion as you know about what happened with MacArthur and the Philippines. I can recommend another book: Peter Schenk - Unternehmen Seelöwe. You don't read German?

Please....Dunkirk! After I have "Saved MacArthur" ( http://www.fredleander.com/saving-macarthur.php ) my next project is named: "Dunkirk - The Ultimate Betrayal". And I don't mean the French........Ooops, please don't start posting about Dunkirk...!

And that Germany and Italy didn't take Malta is just to show what kind of idiots their dictators were. Just my opinion. It would have been even easier than invading the UK. Well, much easier....Ooops again, please don't start posting about Malta....or Gibraltar...

Anyway, as I have stated a couple of times already I won't derail this thread - MacArthur has, after all, a distant connection with the subject in hand, that of the Superior Race securing their Co-Prosperity Sphere. I didn't draw the Sea Lion out of the cabinet. Not this time, anyway. But you guys are free to continue to wring out your despair....

fredleander posted:

Dear GI, I appreciate your invitation but I simply do not have the time. Some years ago, before I wrote my book on Operation Sea Lion (320 pages), I participated in a forum discussion on ArmchairGeneralForum. It went on for several years with 15.000 postings. It became a legend and was given the acronym TTTSNBN - The Thread That Shall Not Be Named. Why? Pick your own choice.

The most typical thing about Sea Lion discussions is that everything is always taken out of context. There is no other way for those many in total denial. That is why I wrote a book. To put it in context. There are many other books on Operation Sea Lion, most writers have conferred very little German material and many write to "please" their audience. And that is not Germans......They just want to forget about it.

Now I am working on a project, more like a study of a study, on what could have happened in the Pacific with a very different US leadership. I even use the WitP strategic game as a sort of filing cabinet to keep track of both sides' units and materiel. It's quite cool. I'm putting it up on Kindle as the story progresses. Here is the first one: http://www.amazon.com/Saving-MacArthur-Book-Time-Essence-ebook/dp/B018F2QMEW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1450099198&sr=1-1

As I finish the project I hope to "put it all in context". So far I have finished six eight-chapter books and I have made the beginning of May '42. The Japanese are still held up in the Philippines. They have been rejected from the Moluccans... There are, of course, a couple of pre-requisites that differ from the RL. It's in the books. Actually, I believe they can still be read for FREE at Kindle. I'm not yet exactly sure about their system. Anyway, it's not for the money.

zen death robot posted:

http://i.imgur.com/rd5jhzV.gifv

my dad posted:

Which resulted in a goldmined report thread.

Pick posted:

Choose your preferred dog breed based on how cute it is and if someone in a movie had one.

RagnarokAngel posted:

MMOs offer a place where unsuccessful or socially awkward people can become gods and they're intentionally designed to become psychologically addicting because they prey on the human tendency to want to keep pulling that slot machine (loot in this case).

my dad posted:

Which resulted in a goldmined report thread.

sword_man.gif posted:

it gets better: he reregged because the wow forum is behind a paywall but won't post, but for a while (maybe still does?) if someone brought up the dogs story he would start messaging the wow forum mod ingame crying about it

WhiskeyJuvenile posted:

Guavanaut posted:

Authoritarian Left practices entryism.
Authoritarian Right tells people what to do and keeps files.
Libertarian Left takes part in discussions.
Libertarian Right is a loving spontaneous abortion.

A good graph.

JakeP posted:

I just put a handful of croutons in my mouth and then squirt a bottle of ranch dressing directly into my mouth and just kinda make a salad in my mouth consisting of croutons and ranch

Stinky_Pete posted:

Now that's what I call mise en face!

Elias_Maluco posted:

Choco1980 posted:

He went to Jared!