Big Grunty Secret posted:

This guy missed the chance to name himself Enhydra Luteris

InterFaced posted:

Blue tarp blanket fort
Gunned down by cop taking leak
Rest in peace tarpman

RODNEY THE RACEHOR posted:

G-d is not a Deity; that is to say an Individual; G-d is an extreme Multiple to the point of Technical Infinity (there is no such Thing as Infinity); rather than creating Situations where Probability does not exist this Multiple exerts super natural forces upon the existing Possibilities; creating an Instance where in a Possibility is created and nurtured via external Factors. Chaos to the extent that a Complex State such as Conscious Life could be brought into being by Chance is not comprehensible with in the Neurological Constraints of Humanity (all Psychology is created and furthermore limited by the properties of Cell; there fore it inhabits the same Sphere as G-d; that is to say a vast and unknowable Force. There fore the only Logical Conclusion is to believe in a Creative Force; and by extension to believe in Creation (though I do not agree with the word Creation as commonly used; no thing can be created or destroyed; a more suitable term is Manipulation; or Artistry) by believing in infinitely nesting Yes Possibilities leading to the existence of Conscious Life; Thought; Philosophy.

Shugojin posted:

It's either an otter guy parachute account or a copycat weirdo

bunky posted:

I'm into this dude's business model.

gleebster posted:

So he doesn't work from home?

VanSandman posted:

Although I thought he was Nintendo Kid these days so who knows if that's the final boss of arguing on the internet or not.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

He made the Nintendo Kid account after being trained to Coupons. It was only last year that he was able to post outside Coupons again with his original account.

Rondette posted:

Welcome to the 6th Annual Something Awful Everest thread!




Everest is the highest mountain on Earth. 8848 metres of rock.


It was first knowingly ascended by Tenzing Norgay and Edmund Hilary in 1953. Since then more than 4000 people have summitted, and around 250 have died trying. A lot of those people are still up there, and have become landmarks for other hopeful climbers. The most notable one is known affectionately as 'Green boots', and resides in a cave close to the summit.


Dorje Morup aka Green Boots

There is a lot of controversy about the bodies on Everest, and every year people ask why they can't get the bodies down. For a start, even though climbing Everest is much 'easier' these days thanks to modern technology, you are still battling conditions at an altitude of cruising jets, with 30% of the oxygen you are used to. Your body is actively eating itself and you have to climb a single fixed line that is also being used by loads of other climbers of varying skills, under an incredibly strict time window. It is not a place where rescues happen easily, let alone chipping decades old bodies from a rock face. The air is too thin for helicopters - the highest ever rescue took place in 2013 and that was a struggle at 7000 metres.

Everest has been a source of fascination for me since the first thread I read on SA back in 2011, and I have read and digested more than I care to remember.

A good place to start is to read 'Into thin air' by Jon Krakauer which is about one of the most famous years on Everest. 1996 was the year that 15 people died, 8 in one night when they were caught in a terrible storm. It was made into a tv movie and was made into a movie which wasn't quite as good as it could/would/should have been, but did have some amazing shots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZQVpPiOji0


2006 was another bad year, with another large death toll, including one David Sharp who was stranded next to Green Boots and left to die while people passed him by to get to the summit. The 2006 year has a lot of footage available for us to watch, as there were at least 2 tv crews up there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZLCIpovtkU


This is a good tv show but you will hear a LOT about Tim Medvitz's injuries. Also 'Ever-ever-ever-ever-rest rest rest' There are 3 seasons of this, the first two are definitely the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_CMD4R0ufk
This series follows some guys from the British army attempting to try to climb the quite frankly terrifying West Face, which has only been successfully climbed by 19 people, and it has killed 21 people.


2014 was hotly anticipated by goons after some notable failures in previous years, including this unfortunate Canadian Lady in 2012 who photoshopped herself into some mountain scenes as part of her climbing preparation.


It didn't end well.



Unfortunately for everyone the 2014 season was abruptly cut short when an avalanche killed 16 sherpas, making it the deadliest year in Everest's history. The remaining Sherpas refused to work out of respect for their colleagues, and probably knowing it was next to impossible to do without them, all expeditions were cancelled. This included a crazy bastard who wanted to Base Jump from the summit.

Last year was....well, terrible for everyone. There was a massive earthquake which devasted Nepal, and also set off an avalanche which swept through base camp killing 18 people, and taking out 21 in total. This effectively closed the mountain for the season, and fairly as the sherpas needed to get back to their family and look after their own. There is a lot of terrifying footage of the avalanche on YouTube to peruse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JC_wIWUC2U

So, bring on the climbers!! The avalanches!! The endless arguments about why they can't 'put a slide at the summit'!!

Also feel free to talk about other mountains, such as Everest's slightly smaller but much angrier cousin, K2, known affectionately as 'The Killer Summit' - it will eat you and literally chew you up, depositing your remains at its feet. Also caving, diving and any other sort of extreme sport which we can get freaked out by.

I have a youtube playlist with some more mountain documentaries on here-
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...BnY01-OKSEuG1eT
Previous Threads-
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
I can't wait.

Oh, and mountain pug!


An amazing computer game!

Xibanya posted:

Time for the full pitch


Get the runtimes
If you don't install the XNA runtimes linked on the download page the game won't work and it's not gonna be my fault.

Get Outfitted


You can't take any more than what you and your three teammates can carry between the four of you. With inventory space limited, bringing one item means leaving another. #Everest is a game of opportunity costs. you must balance your selection of the props that will get your selfies to earn the most likes with the equipment needed to survive the trek to the next great photo op.

Be unique...ish! Change up the colors of your gear and play as either a dude or a lady.
(Voice of Michael A. Zekas)
(Voice of forums poster Xibanya)

Make your mark

Time waits for no mountaineer in the unforgiving altitudes of the mountain locals refer to as "The Holy Mother." Take too long trying to get the perfect selfie and you won't be able to make camp before temperatures plunge at nightfall, but make sure you don't lose your cool because if you forget to pack anything back up, it will be lost on the mountain forever.

There's no garbage collection service on Mt. Everest. Carry your trash with you or dump it on the mountain. It's your choice.

Post selfies

The player character will be posting to their fictional in-game social media accounts throughout the game, but you can choose to post the pictures you take in-game to the player character's real twitter account, @HashtagEverest or connect your own twitter account and post to it through the game! How's that for meta?

Ziggy Starfucker's Guide to Chilling on Mt. Everest

Make sure each character has enough food, half rations reduce your health/stamina regen and running out completely will slowly deplete your health
Most status ailments will go away after enough rest. Having a medical kit in someone's inventory will help, resting at landmarks and especially the camps will help too
Having a sleeping bag for each character and a tent for the whole party increases health and stamina regen while resting
Having lots of crazy and heavy junk in your photo will get more likes and comments. Make sure you retrieve your junk before leaving the photo screen
Water bottles aren't necessary but prevent any chance of dysentery. Having a water treatment kit in someone's inventory reduces the chance of dysentery but doesn't prevent it
Wearing goggles greatly reduces the chance of snowblindness and retinal hemorrhaging, but wearing shutter shades for your photos gives more likes
Climbing around bottlenecks will probably get someone killed, but having climbing harnesses and ascenders equipped reduces the chance. Having fixed lines in someone's inventory and an icepick equipped on at least character helps further
Traveling at night reduces movement speed and increases chance of hypothermia. Try resting at landmarks until daybreak
You can get a rough estimate of your travel speed by looking at the walking animation speed of your party
Blizzards inflict damage and increase the chance of hypothermia and snowblindness unless you rest at a landmark with a tent or at a camp
Prevent/heal hypoxia with a breathing mask and oxygen bottles. By default oxygen use is disabled so you don't burn through your bottles at lower altitudes


...I should probably make an actual website for this game.

DOWNLOAD IT HERE
=======================

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS THREAD

We are morbid fuckers and there will be tasteless jokes, a death pool, pictures of dead bodies and general disrespect for the dead. Climbing this mountain is something that really ceased to be necessary after Norgay and Hilary summitted to anyone other than scientists, doctors and researchers who can test effects of high-altitude and the like. It is dangerous, unpredictable (as the last two years in particular have shown) and there isn't really much honour in getting local people to do all the heavy lifting for you for an embarrassingly small amount of money.

Remember this, and if you find it offensive, well. You're in the wrong forum really.



(will add updates if and when I get suggestions)

tumor looking batty posted:

the should rename mt everest to Dead friend of the family Storage

NotAnArtist posted:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Please shut the gently caress up
About scooby doo

Gavok posted:

Despite his creepy facepaint and his hand taunt that's so fun
Jim is still a luchador but then he's the only one
Who uses sacrifice to make him really super strong
Jim can be a winner if we only chant along

PENTAGON JIM!
We think he's mighty fine!
PENTAGON JIM!
Cero Miedo all the time!

Orkin Mang posted:

my tie got caught in the dildo laithe

Say Nothing posted:

Trent posted:

Where does one apply

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

Around back.

Sestze posted:

i suppose drawing a picture of a man fisting a cow is more difficult than writing a few paragraphs about it.

c. cardigan posted:

1. Bubble Ghost – I would like to meet Bubble Ghost to ask him who he was when he was alive and how he died. I would like to ask him what death is like…is it painful…?

2. Bernard – You might say “nerd alert” but I think he’s sweet…possibly the most misunderstood of the crew..he has a lot of skills and he’s dedicated to discovering Truth through science, something I can really respect. If that makes me a tuna head…then so be it!

3. McGruff – I need to feel safe. I need to feel like I can be safe in my home. I need to be able to relax and feel comfortable when I’m in my own home. This is why McGruff will come.

4. John Rambo – Rambo is misunderstood by Authority but he always fights for what he believes in…one of the only true patriots out there. Rambo will never forget his home, America, is worth fighting for..worth dying for. He loves it that much. The thought of meeting Rambo is a little intimidating..all I want to say is “thank you.” I would love to be friends, but he never stays in one place for long..

5. Winnie the Pooh – Sometimes you just have to laugh, and this little fella brings me belly laughs by the barrel-full. In case you haven’t guessed…we will be serving “hunny” at our banquet

6. Babs Bunny – She’s smart, funny, not afraid to speak her mind, not afraid of her sexuality…Babs is the kind of girl I’ve always wanted to meet..

7. Data – The “brains” of the operation, Data takes the cake and soars into the 21st century. If I could share even a fraction of his knowledge..it would be like a dream. He’s also very strong, physically.

8. Ash Ketchum – I believe he really is a Good Person. Ash is brave, sincere, kind, and he cares deeply about preserving the world of Pokemon. I’d love to ask him about his experiences as a Trainer..maybe borrow a pokeball or two to try a real life pokemon battle

9. Claudia Vorstein – A classic villainess, larger than life..bold and beautiful, living in extremes..I may not approve of her actions but I can respect her for living as loud as she wants to. You go girl! I guess there could be conflict between her and McGruff though…..
…

10. Kimba – Simba who?! Kimba and I will meet in a dark corner to discuss his revenge against the House of Mouse…mwahahaha..nothing too serious though! All that we want is for Disney to finally give proper credit to Tezuka-san for his influence on The Lion King (which, all joking aside, is a fine film in its own right.)

11. Tron – Disney fan or foe? Aye yai yai Cardigan, which one is it? Now don’t get me wrong, I think some mistakes have been made in the past but I still stand behind most of the Disney catalog. Tron here, at #11, is a classic Hero from the days when the studio dared to dream a little bigger…or should I say smaller?! He lives on a microchip, for crying out loud! After dinner I’d love nothing more than to get digitzed and check out Tron’s groovy world up close and personal. Maybe I can defrag my hard drive while I’m there!

12. Ikari Shinji – What is the self? What is humanity? Why can’t human beings ever stop hurting each other?…? Shinji has a lot on his mind. He may not be the most courageous…he’s a tragic, flawed hero..more like you and I than any archetypal superman..but what he lacks in pure bravado he makes up for with his shining soul, his indomitable spirit. Shinji is human. That’s all Shinji can be. Ganbare, Shinji!

13. E.T. – It was pure coincidence that brought E.T. to Elliot’s house..or maybe it was fate. In my dreams, I am that boy cradling E.T. in my arms. I show him the ways of Earth…I am willing to become his only friend on this alien world..but it has to end. This Earth makes E.T. deathly ill…I will protect you, E.T., and I will find a way to save you…somehow.

14. Donkey Kong – The King of Swing himself! DK’s the real “party animal” of the bunch. He’ll swing on by just in time for dessert–banana splits! After a few chest-thumping rounds of Mario Party I’ll ask the real question: is Candy Kong available? Yow!

15. Marc Summers – When I saw Marc on Double Dare, I knew I wanted to be an emcee/comedian. That dream hasn’t come true…yet…but I understand he’s had some hardships in his life as well. I think we would have a lot to talk about.

16. “Weird Al” Yankovic – I can’t be fooled, Al. Grow back your mustache.

17. Sherman Klump – My family can get a little crazy..but is there a crazier family than the Klumps? We could burn the midnight oil trading stories about our nutty relatives, the fun times and the bad times…a complete portrait of a life, all the smiles and tears included.

18. Garfield – King of the fatcats! The Garfster and I go way back. It’s No Odies Allowed at our table and the special main course is lasagna! I think I would actually be really mad if he ate it all though. I know it’s what you might expect but I’m imagining it and it’s making me really angry for some reason.

19. Bart Simpson – Ignore the later seasons…early Bart was a kid with a lot of heart. Sure, he could stir up trouble, but he could also fall in love..cry genuine tears of heartbreak. When Bart fell down the well, I fell with him…hungry in the cold, wet dark, alone but clinging to life. When Sideshow Bob came for Bart, I knew what it was to beg for your life at the point of a knife..your parents helpless to stop it..seconds away from having your throat cut, your short life snuffed out too soon. When Bart conquered Kamp Krusty, his triumph was my triumph. With bare chest and warpaint on..he looked like a little God. He looked powerful, and I desired this power. I understood completely the hurt and rage he felt when his love for Laura Powers was brushed away like it was nothing. How women can treat boys like little nothings, like their hearts are simple playthings to be broken and discarded. There is pain, there is loss. There is the solace of revenge, there are wounds that can never be healed. We fall and skin our knees again and again. We get back up, wipe our faces clean, look towards the horizon. Bart is the spirit that overcomes. You can place his body in bondage but he will rise. You can beat him bloody but he will rise. Though the pain of life may twist his soul, Bart will not allow himself to be destroyed. He will Survive.

20. VICI -

The Larch posted:

Well, for a woman 72 virgins would be Hell.

Yad Rock posted:

human being
fag
bitch
retard

-me, testing out word filters or just flipping thru the selfies i posted on facebook?? haha the world may neve rknow vv

no they will not posted:

Szurumbur posted:

the world may neve rknow

quote:

no they will not

Moon Atari posted:

I think the forced analysis part is what makes kids hate the books they read in high school. At least for me it was a personal hell of dumb teachers focusing on eccentric and outright wrong interpretations, like a cineD thread but inescapable and where you are powerless to call people out on their poo poo.

Volume posted:

Sagebrush posted:

When I was a little kid I asked my dad where disco music came from. He said "grease", confusing two John Travolta movies, and I misunderstood it as "Greece". I thought about it for a bit: swarthy men, gold chains, seems to check out. So until I was in college I continued to believe that disco music was a popular Greek music style, maybe based on old Greek rhythms and musical sequences

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Karate Bastard posted:

My dad told me raisins were "Sun Maid" as in made by drying in the sun. This, coupled with the term "old maid" made me believe, well into an embarrassing age, that "maid" was a euphemism for "Wrinkled Old Bitch".

Choco1980 posted:

http://www.sunmaid.com/

Scrub-Niggurath posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IddP8AAIGTQ

Ted Cruz:
One day more!
Another day another dip for me
This never ending road from Calgary
These men who seem to know my slime will not be fooled a second time,
One day more...

Rand Paul:
I did not poll until today
How can I live, now that I've started?

Ted Cruz:
One day more

Rand Paul + Carly Fiorina:
Tomorrow we'll have dropped away,
And yet, by now we should have parted...

Jeb Bush:
One more day all on my own

Rand Paul + Carly Fiorina:
Will we ever run again?

Jeb Bush:
With the GOP not caring

Carly Fiorina:
I was here for Hillary!

Jeb Bush:
What a life I might have known...

Rand Paul:
Hope I still have Kentucky...

Jeb Bush:
Trump's a bully, it's not fair!

Marco Rubio:
One more day until the storm!

John Kasich:
Do I stay out on the road?

Marco Rubio:
At the caucuses for freedom

John Kasich:
For the battle in New Hampshire?

Marco Rubio:
But first, about Obamacare

John Kasich:
Do I fight my brothers there?

Marco Rubio:
It has destroyed America

Ted Cruz:
One day more!

Donald Trump:
One more day to Trumpolution
They will never have me stumped
We'll be ready for those losers
They're low energy; vote Trump!

Ted Cruz:
One day more!

Ben Carson + Mike Huckabee:
Lock our donors up
Give em all a call
Always worth a buck when it's a free for all
Here a little speech
Half a million more
See you on the book tours that are coming up!

Republican primary voters:
One day to a new beginning
(Raise the flag of Iowa high!)
Every man will meet Steve King
(Every man will meet Steve King!)
There's a candidate for freedom
(There can only be just one!)

All:
Do you hear the people sing?

Chris Christie:
My place is here
I fight for food!

Ted Cruz:
ONE DAY MORE!

Rand and Fiorina:
We did not run until today!

Jeb Bush:
One more day all on my own!

Rand and Fiorina:
How can we drop now that we've started?

Donald Trump:
I will be the people's hero
They will turn out in the snow
I'm doing best in all the polls
They've got no shot and they all know

Ted Cruz:
One day more!

John Kasich:
Do I stay out on the road?

Jeb Bush:
What a life I might have known!

Rand and Fiorina:
By now we both should have departed

Donald Trump:
One more day to Trumpolution
They will never have me stumped
I'll be ready for these losers

Ben Carson + Mike Huckabee:
Lock our donors up
Give em each a call
Always worth a buck when it's a free for all

Ted Cruz:
Tomorrow is the caucus day
Tomorrow is the judgment day

All:
Tomorrow we'll discover what our god Ron Reagan has in store!
One more dawn
One more day
One
Day
More!

Bobby Digital posted:

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Karate Bastard's dad was explaining the pun, but Bastard wasn't a smart enough kid to understand.

bleughmacaroni posted:

There's 2 quarters in a football game, four quarters to play but you get a quarterback for both teams.

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

Cars have long been designed with some sort of exhaust to route both noise and harmful CO from the driver and passengers. I've found that inserting a 1/2" 90-degree PVC elbow (with the outlet pointed away from my balls) into my rear end allows me to direct the odiferous gasses away from my precious balls. The thick walls of the pvc help cancel out the noise. I tried copper, but it sounded like a bicycle bell when I farted and the patina turned my rear end in a top hat green. My balls now smell as fresh as when I step out of the shower.

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

In a Xanatarp did LaVoy Finicum
a stately freedom-dome decree.
Where Dildos, with suction cup sack, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Like a colonoscopy.
So twice five miles of fertile ground
With tarps and coolers were girdled round;
And there were trenches bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed a pile of trash and strewn debris;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of Liberty.

Count Roland posted:

less than - 20 = loving cold
-20 to -10 = cold
-10 to 0 = a bit cold
0 to 10 = chilly
10 to 20 = wear a sweater
20 to 30 = perfect
30+ = too hot gently caress

computer parts posted:

Also accurate for Minnesotans using Fahrenheit.

Red Suit posted:

Its 56 today in maine, which is t shirt weather

Kenny Logins posted:

Don't know if this was the most recent time before this one, but it's what I found and is worth posting on its own:

Louisgod posted:

Why are all the poo poo states with poo poo people the ones that decide this crap, what good has SC, IA, NH and whatever loving reject state nobody talks about unless something racist happens or if a bunch of white people come together to yell TRUMP at each other and yes that's a question, gently caress off