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StarbloodKiss
Feb 3, 2016

Why is the entire cargo hold full with crates of Krogan Krackers?

Sunswipe posted:


No. No I not come with you.

This guy doesn't seem THAT bad. I mean, the jacket looks nice. Personally though, I feel really touchy about patching a leather jacket. I know its a thing but I wouldn't do it on mine just because I like the leather as is. Still, the outfit definitely fits the theme, not too wild about the weird mustache though. And cigars are fun :)

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Google Butt
Oct 4, 2005

Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

StarbloodKiss posted:

This guy doesn't seem THAT bad. I mean, the jacket looks nice. Personally though, I feel really touchy about patching a leather jacket. I know its a thing but I wouldn't do it on mine just because I like the leather as is. Still, the outfit definitely fits the theme, not too wild about the weird mustache though. And cigars are fun :)

please don't troll

I Greyhound
Apr 22, 2008

MusicKrew Dawn Patrol

Banano posted:



I’m just taking out the garbage.




Title of Derek Smart's star citizen book about his star citizen battles spotted

Galarox
Sep 23, 2015

Fun Shoe
So: My BDSSE story:

1. Heard about SC, had a look, it was pre Arena Commander at this point, and they had a really janky tech demo in wirefram of AC going on. I thought "Nah"
2. Then I came back to it a little later and thought OooO! Shiny! (I'm a sucker like that)
3. I did some research (not enough in hindsight) and got a Cutlass
4. This was (again in hindsight) a good thing
5. Because they treated the Cutlass owners like poo poo, that should have given me a clue... but sadly at this point my spergbrain took over and I started spending money on jpegs
6. Then Dereck hapened and through finding out who Derek was I discovered SA and started to lurk here because... drat! It's funny here!
7. Then denial kicked in... I got another (expensive) jpeg. This one however was grey market.
8. Got another clue that CIG were clowns - made a (very mildly) critical post about :lesnick: when drunk one night and the next morning some anon mod had just deleted it. This happened to me twice.
9. Was lurking here a lot by now, and thinking about getting out... then...
10. Pgabz cat hypnotized me with it's rhythmic dancing :pgabz: and I decided enough was enough and that
9. What goons & Dereck were saying was in all probability the truth
10. Demanded a refund (I work self employed in the building industry and had a bad hit from a client (didn't pay for work done) so I could legit plead poverty to CS
11. Got jerked about for a while by CS. They asked if any websites or people made me want out
12. I said it was the Chris rant to the escapist that scared me
13. They actioned the refund from, like, 4 different sources leaving me $280 down on the grey market ship
14. Learned a valuable lesson about not being a gullible idiot in future and counted my blessings that I got most of my hard earned out
15. Unexpectedly the client then paid me leaving me paypal rich so I
16. Got MGS5, Fallout 4, witcher 3, Rise of the tomb raider, and several other games cheap on steam instead of the BDSSE

TL/DR got in got out thanks Goons and Dereck :gary:

Galarox fucked around with this message at 00:55 on Feb 11, 2016

starkebn
May 18, 2004

"Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

Banano posted:

‘I remember how it started; I remember the day my life changed. June 7th, 2917. I was six years old, in Primary, and our Teacher asked us a question. THE question. The most important question anyone has to answer, ever.

What do you want to be when you grow up? the Teacher asked us, its vocal tubes humming. A veritable bevy of hands shot up; young, impressionable minds ready to spout out answers. My hand shot up as well. How could it not? I was excited, we all were.

An instant later, the answer order had shot up on the monitor at the front of the class. Tichondrius, Timmy for short, was first, as usual. His cybernetic arm was only fractions of a second faster than a normal arm, but when the order is drawn up by a GNP targeting system, every fraction of a second counts. Timmy was always first to answer, and oh how he lorded it over the rest of us, us “mere mortals” as he’d lovingly laugh.

I want to be a Pirate! he yelled, beaming. He got to Pirate first, and now no-one else in the class could pick it too. Everyone had to be something special. Who would want to be what someone else wanted to be? It just would not work.

And so along through the class we went. Pirate, Pilot, Tracker, Doctor, Miner, Racer, on and on and on. Cyberneticist, Exobiologist, Explorer. Everyone in the class had a plan; something they wanted to be. Molly wanted to be a Starliner captain; Molly stole my first dream. It’s what I had wanted, but she’d gotten there first. Fine, I thought. Fine, if I can’t be a Starliner captain, I’ll be a...a...a Merchant!

Jahnus beat me to that.

Merchants are too rushed anyway, I thought, slowly. Who wanted to be a Merchant. A Mechanic was what I REALLY wanted to be. The excitement, the devotion, the people you’d get to meet!

Thint beat me to that.

Mechanics get all dirty, I thought, mollifying myself. Such hard work, and EVA’ing is dangerous. Not for me. No, no, what I really wanted to be was a...a Marine!

Samsa beat me to that.

A Policewoman!

Cansas beat me to that.

An info runner!

An Engineer!

A...a Gunner? A Cook? A Janitor?

Beat me to it, beat me to it, and beat me to it.

And then it was my turn. My name turned a pale blue on the monitor. I was last, as usual. I was busy racking my small mind, trying to think of something that had not yet been taken; trying to think of what no-one else wanted to be. The class turned and stared at me, the Teacher analyzed me, I started to cower, started to shake. Just a little, but it would get worse. It always got worse. I had to answer; had to think of something.

I want to be a Garbage woman! I blurted without thinking.

And that was it. That was the most important moment in my life. Oh, sure, you might laugh. Who wants to be a garbage woman?

Well, look at me today. Twenty-seven years later, I own a half-dozen Reclaimers and a fleet of Freelancers. I have seventy-five pilots working under me, garbage men and women all. They’re like a family, they’re all like me. They must have had that same fateful day too; that day where others slowly pick their dreams away from them, one by one. So I take them in, make sure they’re safe.
And they are. Because you know what happens to everyone else?

Marines, they get shot.

Police, info-runners, gunners, merchants, pirates, they all get blown up.

Doctors and Mechanics get raided.

Cooks and Janitors get airlocked for slights.

Who notices the humble garbage woman?

No-one. Not until they’re floating, derelict and abandoned, and the claw on my Reclaimer sloooowly crushes through their life-support systems. And then they clamour, and they bluster and they cry, and they offer me money, and power, and fame. And you know what I say, every time?’

‘PLEASE! Please, we, we have money, we can...you can have the ship! You can have my life’s savings! Just let us...

‘Every time, I say the same thing. I’m just taking out the trash.’

I love the vibrations as the claw closes slowly. I can’t hear it, can’t hear the cracks and groans of the metal; can’t hear the screams of those inside either, not anymore. I’ve shut off the comms. But the vibrations...they run through the whole of the Halcyon, my Reclaimer slowly picking the Merchant derelict apart, piece by piece.

I’ve been asked before, why I do it. Their offers of money, of cargo, why I don’t take them. I’d make more money taking their valuables than I do salvaging their ships.

But why should I?

Why should I let them continue?

They stole my dreams from me. The Pirates, the doctors, the marines. The police, the mechanics, all of them. They stole my dreams from me, left me a Garbage woman.

I’m just taking out the garbage.


My primary school classmates too were forced to pick exclusive careers from an ever dwindling list aged six :psyduck:

I actually like this

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

StarbloodKiss posted:

This guy doesn't seem THAT bad. I mean, the jacket looks nice. Personally though, I feel really touchy about patching a leather jacket. I know its a thing but I wouldn't do it on mine just because I like the leather as is. Still, the outfit definitely fits the theme, not too wild about the weird mustache though. And cigars are fun :)

forums poster starbloodkiss swoops in to easily take the prize for worst opinion of the day, what does he win?

:gary:

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Gilganixon posted:

forums poster starbloodkiss swoops in to easily take the prize for worst opinion of the day, what does he win?

:gary:

A stimpire handshake.

xiansi
Jan 26, 2012

im judjing all goons cause they have bad leader, so a noral member is associated whith thoose crasy one

Personaly i would quit the goons if i was in cause of thoose crasy ppl
Clapping Larry

Gilganixon posted:

forums poster starbloodkiss swoops in to easily take the prize for worst opinion of the day, what does he win?

:gary:

An all expenses paid trip to the Stimpire, and a porno mag.

Then again, I thought the "Full Burn" song was quite catchy (if you ignore everything to do with the vocals), so it's probably just a straight-up execution for me.

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


xiansi posted:

Then again, I thought the "Full Burn" song was quite catchy (if you ignore everything to do with the vocals), so it's probably just a straight-up execution for me.

your bodily organs will hit the glass grinder in nanoseconds for that one

the airhorn remix is a sincere exponential improvement

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy
this is the "next" MMO goons will be playing guys, come and poo poo up the thread and play a game with us

it's going to be terrible

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3763764

StarbloodKiss
Feb 3, 2016

Why is the entire cargo hold full with crates of Krogan Krackers?
NO! NOT THE STIMPIRE!!!

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



Maybe I'm getting old or got burnt one time too many, but I just can't play any MMO that isn't WoW these days

Regrettable
Jan 5, 2010



Furious Mittens posted:

The days of Starfleet Dental were some of the best in my gaming history. Hell, we didn't even have to be doing anything and it was a riot. Chasing people around to the heavy roleplay areas in obscure planets and stations, just to dance around them and act the fool, ruining their "immersion" and subsequently throwing a tantrum. Catching people RP'ing in a gently caress cabana on some desert oasis planet.

Good times.

Yeah, those were some of the best times I've ever had in a video game, too. Just throw out a disco ball and spray some balloons around and people would flip their poo poo. Smoke bombs were also cool since you could use them in noncombat areas. Really, all we had to do most of the time was stand around Drozana Station, though.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

:lol: 2.40 in this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gugjt9YVHY0

eonwe
Aug 11, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Daztek posted:

Maybe I'm getting old or got burnt one time too many, but I just can't play any MMO that isn't WoW these days

The thing that's good about MMOs is that goons are huge shitlords and the guild will implode in a month and someone will steal a bunch of poo poo from the guild

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Ehh I haven't seen anyone in CIG actually making GBS threads on Illfonic as such. It's just the deduction Citizens make when they realize the alternative would be CIG screwing up.

If you consider the timing of all this, early 2015, the timeline powerpoint by Chris Roberts with all this wonderful stuff happening in 2015. Star Marine in a few weeks, the social module, 2.0 in summer, SQ42 in 2015. Then it doesn't happen, Travis Day gets sent to Illfonic for weeks to try and sort it. Resources are diverted from other studios to try and help...

June/July Alex Mayberry leaves, it becomes obvious Star Marine is too broken to fix but they decide to lie about it, Travis Day leaves, his wife who was worshiped by the whales leaves, Illfonic gets binned. People start leaking to Derek, CIG has two months of ~1 million income way below even an incredibly generous estimated burn rate, the media had already picked up Star Marine was delayed "indefinitely", CIG lie about it then but Derek Smart flat out said it was unfixable, CIG must have been making GBS threads themselves. They were months away from going under if funding didn't improve. You can understand why they overreacted in the worst possible way to Derek getting involved, you can understand it but it doesn't change the fact that the top brass all appear to be really dumb and the experienced people who'd actually shipped games were rushing towards the exit. Then they continue to overreact to the leaks and most of the community team gets fired or walks. Escapist, comedy, 8 hour letters, legal threats, the end times but funding picks up, Citizen's spending more to annoy Derek Smart who is a very bad man.

Around this time they must have switched focus to 2.0, Star Marine gets binned, social module is buggies that worked in the hangar and dance moves, it's just a larger hangar really. All hands to the pumps for 2.0 if we don't get this out for Citizen Con we are hosed. Citizen Con, the crying event with terrible SQ42 movie stuff, a dropped script and a spitcake because 2.0 isn't really. November sale they almost get it shipped in time, 2.0 is on PTU and crashes every 5 minutes, it's not released as such but everyone is amazed they actually did something, they break 100 million. Eonwe gets concerned we are going to get sucked back in and spent a combined £2,500. 2.0 is released in December, they celebrate with another sale.

making GBS threads on Illfonic now wouldn't make any sense it would just increase the leaks and Illfonic know exactly what happened to Star Marine, the thing Chris Roberts is still annoyed about a year later, the thing he just told backers they aren't getting and moved into the CIG magic never never land of "Soon".

PlaneGuy
Mar 28, 2001

g e r m a n
e n g i n e e r i n g

Yam Slacker

Eonwe posted:

The thing that's good about MMOs is that goons are huge shitlords and the guild will implode in a month and someone will steal a bunch of poo poo from the guild

My favourte goon guild was pirates of the burning sea, but only because of that cool guy who's name I forget who played the trial, liked it and ordered the full game off of amazon when his trial ended. In the week it took for the game to get from amazon to his house the guild imploded. When he logged in next, he and I were the only guys still playing and the 50+ goon guild he was expecting to be there had been erased like an executed stimpirian.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Poor Kurt_M doesn't seem to fit in anywhere.

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Beet Wagon posted:

Oh you poor sweet non-electically-penis-removed summer child. You've a long way to go in your education, my son.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNlWQ3s5Xc8

Fair warning, this video is not NSFW, but it will scar your insides. Posting it should be a warcrime.

Guys. These people have an Idris. I don't think we want to mess with them.

MeLKoR
Dec 23, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

What's stimpire?

Hellraiser/1984 torture porn. In the grim dark future infinite pain doubles at every second.

e: lol I just realized I fell back 20 pages. Lord have mercy.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
I want more Stimpire lore.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

AP posted:


:words:

making GBS threads on Illfonic now wouldn't make any sense it would just increase the leaks and Illfonic know exactly what happened to Star Marine, the thing Chris Roberts is still annoyed about a year later, the thing he just told backers they aren't getting and moved into the CIG magic never never land of "Soon".
This is most excellent as a working narrative and the thread benefits greatly by macro summaries like this, AP.

:five:

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

AP posted:

Eonwe gets concerned we are going to get sucked back in and spent a combined £2,500.

I thought that was Sarspariller.

redwalrus
Jul 27, 2013

:stoke:

Galarox posted:

Hello best thread on the interwebs. Long time lurker, but I thought I had better not :lurkmore: soo.. as a first time poster so I thought I had better :effort: post:




haha wow, that is amazing.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I really want answers about Full Burn

clearly, it was made for Star Citizen. They claim it was something that ended up on a server accidentally, but no history of the song seems to exist

I really want to hear Chris Roberts answer for Full Burn.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I want more Stimpire lore.

It is where the ship Event Horizon ended up, before it got warped back to Sol.

Civil meats is good eats...paaarpppp

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Scruffpuff posted:

I thought that was Sarspariller.
That's true-- Eowne was libelled in that otherwise excellent piece.

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Madcosby posted:

I really want answers about Full Burn

clearly, it was made for Star Citizen. They claim it was something that ended up on a server accidentally, but no history of the song seems to exist

I really want to hear Chris Roberts answer for Full Burn.

Chris gets really annoyed when people ask him about Full Burn, "Where is Full Burn", etc. - Full Burn was basically just a music mode. It would let you listen to sounds, and hear them, well listening is in, and hearing is in, so you basically have Full Burn right now.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
like if it was "accidentally" left in a downloadable version of the game, then the band that made full burn has a piracy battle to win

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

Madcosby posted:

I really want answers about Full Burn

clearly, it was made for Star Citizen. They claim it was something that ended up on a server accidentally, but no history of the song seems to exist

I really want to hear Chris Roberts answer for Full Burn.

Same. I'd love to know how much money was wasted on it. I'd also love to hear the stories of the poor session musicians who were suckered into recording such awfulness.

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy
has anyone said "has anyone said star shitizen yet?"?

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I'll buy anyone a forum upgrade or a game up to $60 on Steam for anyone that can find the origins of Full Burn

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Scruffpuff posted:

I thought that was Sarspariller.

:thejoke:

Eonwe was right.

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



It's me, CIG hired me to make it, which is why I was able to easily add airhorns to it

TheLastRoboKy
May 2, 2009

Finishing the game with everyone else's continues

This is fairly indicative of how they have nothing good to talk about and if I were them I'd just start winding their poo poo-show up and look for something else to do. What is there to talk about that doesn't highlight CIG's failure to produce anything? They don't even have enough scraps to assemble into a proper sycophantic and relevant article. They had the temerity to tell someone else they didn't think their article was particularly worth writing about, and then go and completely gently caress up the basics of article writing to put out fantastical fellatio instead.

I mean I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding the whole "no really we are journalists!" tripe cause the bar is so low on defining yourself as one these days, but they've managed to flunk the fundamentals so hard I'm going to rescind that charity.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard
Q-ships were not very effective in practice


But Q-ships are important

my girlfriend is Legos
Apr 24, 2013

Madcosby posted:

I really want answers about Full Burn

clearly, it was made for Star Citizen. They claim it was something that ended up on a server accidentally, but no history of the song seems to exist

I really want to hear Chris Roberts answer for Full Burn.

Calling it: Disco Lando played the synth

I said come in!
Jun 22, 2004


Nothing about this is impressive.

Sushi in Yiddish
Feb 2, 2008

StarbloodKiss posted:

NO! NOT THE STIMPIRE!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNR4hKbSH7I

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a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

I said come in! posted:

Nothing about this is impressive.

thats what she said

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