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Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

StarbloodKiss posted:

I think theres enough Stimpire material to make a table-top game. You would essentially start off as human but as the mission continued, whatever it was, your character may suffer at the hands of the Stimpire. The game is lost when your character either dies or goes insane from everything they have to endure. Though if your character does go insane, they should actually become an encounter/enemy that the other party members have to deal with as they venture onward.

Also, aren't there other empires in the Stimpire setting? Wouldn't the Stimpire have agents working against those other factions? You could also play as a Stimpire agent or something of that sort running missions.

One rolls the 12 sided die. Each side has razor blades attached. The dice spin at 120,000 RPM and flies up your nostrils like a kamikaze pilot on meth.

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Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Liquid Dinosaur posted:

Now I'm upset this game will never come out. This could have been the next big goon game. And our guild/corp would have been the Stimpire.

That's the magic of Star Citizen, commando. It's already out. You've had it this entire time.

Stanko-Prussian
May 22, 2006

CLEAN YOUR ROOM!, 'they' said.
DO YOUR HOMEWORK!, 'they' said.
WHY ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A CARTOON PONY, 'they' said.
FOR GODSAKE! STOP SHOWING US YOUR BLACKHOLE'!! 'they' said.

When I lit the match....STOP SCREAMING, 'I' said

Lime Tonics posted:

What would anyone here do if given 105 million dollars and were told to make a space game though?

I wouldn't know what to do. I'd just outsource it probably and keep a few million.

See about buying the rights to freespace then offer an unlimited licence to volition in exchange for a percentage on profit on sales

aleksendr
May 14, 2014

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

I want more Stimpire lore.

Somewhere on Stimpire prime there is a very unique building. Built like a fortress, guarded by the most devoted of the pain commandos, its penthouse is a perfect replica of paradise. In it you can see fountains, birds,tame animals, exotic plant and fish from all over creation. They call the place The sanitarium, and its one of the most sacred place in the 4th stimpire.

It is the place where the Stimpire put the most dangerous and exalted of its citizen, those who are certified, hardcore Masochists. Kept forever in a perfect golden cage, every of their whim attended 24/7 by the most dedicated sadist with the exception for any request that would cause them pain, emotional or physical.

They are told of all the delicious new pain inducing tortures ideas that get developed daily in great details, but never get to experience any of them.

Few lives past their majority before going completely insane. Once they go completely mad their brain are put into eternal sleep and their dream mined for new ways to inflict pain, keeping the cycle going on.

Forever.

aleksendr fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Feb 11, 2016

Ferrovanadium
Mar 22, 2013

APEX PREDATOR

-MOST AMMUNITION EXPENDED ON CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT
-WORST KDR VS CIVILIANS 2015-PRESENT

SirPhoebos posted:

Can someone give me a link to the Elite thread?

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3741690

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos
Good job on the goatse commando o9

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/317871/whatca-thinkin-about

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

AP posted:

Eonwe gets concerned we are going to get sucked back in and spent a combined £2,500.


lol

aleksendr
May 14, 2014

StarbloodKiss posted:

I think theres enough Stimpire material to make a table-top game. You would essentially start off as human but as the mission continued, whatever it was, your character may suffer at the hands of the Stimpire. The game is lost when your character either dies or goes insane from everything they have to endure. Though if your character does go insane, they should actually become an encounter/enemy that the other party members have to deal with as they venture onward.

Also, aren't there other empires in the Stimpire setting? Wouldn't the Stimpire have agents working against those other factions? You could also play as a Stimpire agent or something of that sort running missions.

If you want something a little bit close but not completely dysfunctional as mood goes maybe give a try to an old game called "SLA Industries". The system is crap and the setting does not completely make sense but the "work for The MAN until it kill you or you go insane" is there in full force.

Solomonic
Jan 3, 2008

INCIPIT SANTA
Is it the Fourth Stimpire chronologically, or spatially

like do you think somewhere out there beyond the stars there might be other stimpires fighting with the fourth over space territory

grimcreaper
Jan 7, 2012

Ramadu posted:

Have you ever seen the ending t o The Dinosaurs? It's beyond dark and seriously hosed up. It's probably second in those categories to the ending of ALF though. Those shows ended in huge :stare: fashions.

Sadly i didnt. I never had the patiance to see them through. There were a few episodes that made me laugh pretty hard. The ones linked in that video were pretty funny as a kid. Who doesnt love watching someone get beat with a pan while the baby yells NOT THE MAMA.

I imagine being forced to watch that show would feel like playing Star Citizen.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Solomonic posted:

Is it the Fourth Stimpire chronologically, or spatially

like do you think somewhere out there beyond the stars there might be other stimpires fighting with the fourth over space territory

Banshee Origins: The Ten Stimpires

The Stimperor posted:

In our setting of Banshee, there were ten stimpires which were united under ten galaxies. They were all allied as the United Galactic Stimpires, until one day, when the Sixth Stimpire noticed that the Fourth Stimpire was adopting laws that were against the regulations of the UGS. High-ranking military servants noticed that at the end of their favourite sporting event, the losing side was being rounded up, with all 11 players wailing in despair. They then noticed that the center of the stadium was now revealing a large, cylindrical container with a sharp floor. The floor was in the shape of a grinding grater, except there were several discs each turning very slowly, one being further out than the other from its center point. They were then pushed in by very powerful cybernetic stadium security officers, and the container was sealed up. It was then, to the horror of the colonels, that there was blood being smeared against the glass of the machine. They both left for their transit van, only to be stopped by Fourth Stimpire Enforcers. They demanded that they get past, only to be told that the Fourth Stimpire is a sovereign, socialist empire which listens to its people. They were then being transported to a greyscale soundproof room, with very sharp machinery decorating the room from all over.

They were never heard from or even seen again. The only traces of them were blood trails located in the very room. The Fourth Stimpire had announced to the UGC that it was now allied with Vanduul forces, and any attack will result in immediate deplanetation, much to the dismay of the UGC. The Seventh Stimpire warned them that the other nine would revoke their UGC rights if they carried on, but they did far from what they were demanding. The Fourth Stimpire didn't massacre the First Landmass population, but left them in the worst pain known in the universe for eternity. The drug was capable of keeping the victim the same age as they were, halting growth and aging, whilst keeping them alive forever. All growth cells are killed and the drug repeats any respiratory cycles.

The other nine declared war on the Fourth Stimpire, which ultimately led to the demise of the First, Eighth, Ninth, Fifth and Tenth Stimpires. They were deplanetated, all of their planets were razed and reduced to nothing but an asteroid field, a reminder of the power of the Fourth Stimpire, and a historical monument, and a book, a tale of what was once a mighty, populated planet.

The Seventh Stimpire ordered their planets to be relocated out of the range of the Fourth Stimpire Satelitation Force through the use of planet movement technology. As the Seventh Stimpire was completely artificial, the planets were able to be relocated to a faraway place in the universe. The Second Stimpire however were unable to relocate, as they were natural to the full extent and had a ban on fighting on any kind. Weapons were not permitted in the territory, and anyone caught fighting would be exiled permanently from the planet. They were the Second Law, as the rest of the universe know them by.

The other stimpires were unable to relocate aswell, and ordered their planets to be mined until they were fresh clean, and turn artificial, so they could be moved away from threat. They did not want to meet the same fate as their brethren. As a result, the war that remains going on to this day, is now a fierce, stalemate battle. The United Earth Empire eventually joined to help them against the Fourth Stimpire in 2754, 100 years after the war began, but this would also lead to Vanduul interception, as the Vanduul were warmongering to the point of following the UEE's every move and intercepting it.

Endnote.

grimcreaper
Jan 7, 2012

fuzzknot posted:

DON'T YOU RUIN A CLOCKWORK ORANGE FOR ME, YOU GOON.

(I at first typed "Cockwork" and have now ruined it for myself. Great.)


It was all so ridiculous. Then he dated a coworker who was bipolar and off her meds, which went exactly as well as you might expect--especially after it was over and he hooked up with a former friends with benefits he described as "really hot." I caught a glimpse of her when she was picking him up from work one night, and she looked like a female Lesnick to me, but to each his own. Again, you can lead yourself to believe anything if you want it enough. Apparently it doesn't matter if that "anything" is being able to fly spaceships on the Internet or having desirable women chase you.


That's what happens when you're not careful in the space horse corrals.


"...I present to you, Stimperor, the Cockwork... Orange... Anyone who is caught touching their genitals, even for basic sanitation needs, will be subjected to this, the Cockwork Orange. It works by applying oranges... DIRECTLY TO THE..." *Transmission ends*

"As you can see Commander, the Stimperor has gone mad. Fruits to the genitals! Can you imagine?! The UEE must stop this abominable crusade AT ALL COSTS!"

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012



"mine this planet until it is fresh clean! we must escape the fourth stimpire lest we too are deplaneted"

HapiMerchant
Apr 22, 2014

Gilganixon posted:

my sacrifice? nothing compared to that of these winners' parents





actually the citizencon cosplay is all sad crap like the above (really, what is there to cosplay), the really pathetic smut is the stuff the shitizens are groping their neglected little weiners over, as posted on the RSI forums:






There is a great and storied history of crossplay at cons. it makes it all worthwhile

Renegret
May 26, 2007

THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*


Cat Army Sworn Enemy

dammit I missed it

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx
I've only just realized how desensitized sc has made me

quote:

I only just began playing MWO (to kill time waiting for Sq42). Fun game. Nothing really deep, but modding mechs and fighting it out is pretty fun actually. But what I found ludicrous was how much we've gotten used to SC prices.

I was scrolling through the MWO sub when the latest mech, the Kodiak, was released. And there were complaints about the pricing. Get this: The mech package costs $70 for 5 variants. that's effectively $14 per mech. And there were complaints.

I just sat there stunned.

Not because of people complaining about prices (I think people will complain regardless of the price, even if it's given away FOC). But because I actually thought it was cheap. I mean. $14 for a mech? $70 for 5 variants? drat. An Avenger Titan alone costs what? $50? An Idris? $1250.

I mean, I sat there first thinking how funny it was that people found it expensive to pay $70 for 5 mechs. Then it hit me: Why am I not thinking the same? Has my own tolerance for paying for virtual stuff been stretched so far that I would think nothing of throwing $70 at PGI?

And get this: This is for a mech that has a fixed released date! We know WHEN it's coming out, and what the specs would be like. Yet I'm very happy to continue throwing money at CIG for a game with virtual stuff that has no fixed date of release yet. (Prowler? gimmie... Monarch? sure. Corvette? Hell yeah!)
I think I'll go sit in a corner an ponder on what I've become...

my girlfriend is Legos
Apr 24, 2013



Nice!

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

:eyepop:

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx
https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/4560f7/everyone_needs_to_lower_their_expectations_for/





this is getting so sad lmbo

BluestreakBTHR
Oct 2, 2015

Fucking Star Citizen True Believers are passive-aggressive douchebags. Sorry if I have the ability to use my critical thinking skills. I didn't drink the Kool-Aid, motherfuckers.

That's me trying way too hard to fit in here. Please accept me, I need validation. I'm very depressed.
Grimey Drawer

wyoak posted:

i usually don't hate the pro-CIG stuff as much as other people in this thread but this was the exception, good lord that's awful

Really makes me glad that they never took me up on my offer to help them when they got started.

peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

Hype remedy is playing Star Citizen

WhiskeyWhiskers
Oct 14, 2013

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/157823/star-citizen-cosplay-group

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/453h69/star_citizens_ace_in_the_hole_f42_frankfurt/


That article is maybe the stupidest brown sea bowel movement since like last week

:bandwagon:

Bar none.

CubicalSucrose
Jan 1, 2013

Phantom my Opera and call me South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut

I expect that all commandos will be entitled to redownload a 30 gb tech demo each month. Please don't let me down, CIG.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Khanstant posted:

At this point, I think it's clear Star Citizen is little more than CR's way to impede Derek Smart from his games. From troll plants on the steam forums for line defense trying to goad him into free to play to several full-time staffers dedicated to thwarting D Smart

Yeah, we've been banning them left and right. Thing is, we know who they are and we can spot them right away. And those assholes are the primary reason that I have put any plans for a freeplay weekend, on ice. They want to troll me, they can loving pay $9.99. And still get banned.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

EminusSleepus posted:

speaking of Sandi



In fact, she might stab, electrocute, slice or burn you you to death, but you at least would still have your soul...

StarbloodKiss
Feb 3, 2016

Why is the entire cargo hold full with crates of Krogan Krackers?

HapiMerchant posted:

There is a great and storied history of crossplay at cons. it makes it all worthwhile

If those guys got rid of the stickers and had one of them be red and the other one blue theyd make a pretty good NARC cosplay.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Scruffpuff posted:

Chris does seem to harbor a suspicious hate-boner for Derek. Lots of people were questioning Star Citizen before Derek wrote his first blog about it, but they weren't taking poo poo for it. Wired wrote this article in March 2015: http://www.wired.com/2015/03/fans-dropped-77m-guys-buggy-half-built-game/. That's a major publication, not a personal blog with 15 followers.

Derek writes his blog, and Chris goes apeshit and refunds his money and cancels his account without being asked?!? That's some butthurt special snowflake first blood right there. I think there's some history there, at least in Chris's mind. Not to mention his ridiculous Escapist diatribe, which was the event that made me give up on the project.

As I understand from now departed insiders, that the blog caused a lot of consternation and he took it as a personal attack specifically when I said that what he pitched couldn't be built. That implied that he was running a scam. Though that didn't even cross my mind at the time.

Also, since I had access to the game, and have the means to make some serious noise, they wanted me out. As they've now come to find out, that was one of the worst mistakes in their entire history of Star Citizen project. That aside from the fact that they started a war of attrition that they couldn't possibly win; since the only way they could *win* was to prove me wrong by delivering on *ALL* promises.

That was June 2015

We're now Feb 2016

So anyone who considers 2.x to be "progress" after 8 months - for a company with almost 300 people + $100M+, deserves to be fleeced

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Scruffpuff posted:

I think the 16-player limit really killed the deal for me. Whatever grains of hope I was holding fell to the ground with that one. That's not even enough people if you make it fully PvP, and followers don't even want that. But they want a HUGE universe. I live in a mid-sized city on Earth, and if there were only 16 people in it, nobody would ever see anyone else. How does that not boil down to this being, essentially, a single-player game?

Wait until my aircraft update for LOD goes on wide release. I have a special gift for those assholes.

Mirificus
Oct 29, 2004

Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/453h69/star_citizens_ace_in_the_hole_f42_frankfurt/


That article is maybe the stupidest brown sea bowel movement since like last week

:bandwagon:


https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/453h69/star_citizens_ace_in_the_hole_f42_frankfurt/czv2z7a


https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/453h69/star_citizens_ace_in_the_hole_f42_frankfurt/czv3g9j

Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.



Yeah that's about right.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Hav posted:

Nah, you want to get rid of someone like Derek immediately, it defuses most of the action that he could take by simply removing him. Derek has history for getting involved and making the whole thing about what he feels rather than an objective; it's personal. Look up 'Algernon' and the poo poo surrounding that; it sucks all the oxygen out of rooms to be defending against bullshit.

The other thing is that Derek is a brand, and nothing gets attention like a shouty, litigious brand.

Look how well that turned out for them.

ps: What's there to look up about Alganon? I came. I built. I released. It is still going (even have it on Steam, did an expansion pack etc) on to this day. Clearly you haven't been paying attention.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

KiddieGrinder posted:

I couldn't quite parse it either.

Derek isn't a brand, he's just a guy. An albeit somewhat famous developer, sure, but he's still just a guy, and afaik he's never formally referred to himself as anything other than that.

And I don't know if you equate giving Derek a refund to getting "rid" of him, but it didn't work in either case, it just made Crobberts look bad. They tried to pin it on him trying to advertise his game, but he wasn't and pretty much never has in all of his talk about Star Citizens failings. CIG I'm sure wanted to get rid of Derek Smart's allegations (because they're all true), but trying to silence him and effectively ban him from the game had the complete opposite effect.

Yup. Pretty much. And I've heard from sources that there have been screaming matches in the office about how it was such a bad idea to take me on and "give me attention". And they just went for broke with The Escapist diatribe; and that was even worse.

They're hosed.

They know it.

I know it.

The Shitizens know it.

They ALL know that I know it.

Damn Dirty Ape
Jan 23, 2015

I love you Dr. Zaius




That really is nightmare fuel.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Bootcha posted:

I bootcha... I live!

And the peasantGoons rejoiced...

Yay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F5dUgVgQM4&t=0m18s

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

D_Smart posted:

As I understand from now departed insiders, that the blog caused a lot of consternation and he took it as a personal attack specifically when I said that what he pitched couldn't be built. That implied that he was running a scam. Though that didn't even cross my mind at the time.

Also, since I had access to the game, and have the means to make some serious noise, they wanted me out. As they've now come to find out, that was one of the worst mistakes in their entire history of Star Citizen project. That aside from the fact that they started a war of attrition that they couldn't possibly win; since the only way they could *win* was to prove me wrong by delivering on *ALL* promises.

That was June 2015

We're now Feb 2016

So anyone who considers 2.x to be "progress" after 8 months - for a company with almost 300 people + $100M+, deserves to be fleeced

Derek what is your plan for your anniversary insurrection come June 2016?

also I will let you finish your loving thing that you owe Bootcha

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx

EminusSleepus posted:

Chris Roberts Fidelity: Firing a railgun beside your face lol



I'm the buttstock on the back of a gun that lays on top of your shoulder.

Evil_Greven
Feb 20, 2007

Whadda I got to,
whadda I got to do
to wake ya up?

To shake ya up,
to break the structure up!?
Y'know, one of the things I've always wanted - since TIE Fighter, at least - was a multiplayer arcade space sim.

Then X-Wing Alliance came out. It was fun. It was not great, though. The Microsoft Gaming Zone kinda sucked. MMOs appeared on the scene around the same time, and I thought maybe someday there would be a TIE Fighter-like MMO.

It seems many others shared this dream, given the success in raising money for Star Citizen. The debacles associated with it kept me from spending money on it pre-release, but I had some hope that it might exist one day.

However, now I know that the dream will never come to fruition - because of of Chris Roberts.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

I don't want to imagine the sights that doll has seen

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Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

AugmentedVision posted:

I'm the buttstock on the back of a gun that lays on top of your shoulder.

i'm the doomsday future weapon that has to be aimed by staring down the side of the barrel with your face

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