Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Solarin: Nov 15, 2007

Marching Powder posted:

still occasionally lmao at the thought of an internationally acclaimed, award winning composer having chris roberts tell him his music is not good enough 29 times.

This was the dream Chris Roberts (aka robber crab, just like our friend the coconut crab) had in mind this whole time. It's not his fault that others misinterpreted his dream

E: procedural bird page snipe

Solarin fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Feb 13, 2016

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:24

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 03:20

Marching Powder: Mar 8, 2008; stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustri...-to-be-expected

Can someone PM this guy and tell him to get a refund now, while he can?

the impulsive stupidity of video game enthusiasts never ceases to baffle me

'boy would i feel stupid in 4 years time purchasing a complete game for $60 when i could of had it and that gay space opera for $45'

anyone who buys into this game at this stage deserves to be fleeced.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:26

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

We so funny! lolol our game sucks lolol bugs bugs bugs!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:30

notoriousman: Nov 18, 2007; I'M AWARE I'M
AN IDIOT

Solarin posted:

This was the dream Chris Roberts (aka robber crab, just like our friend the coconut crab) had in mind this whole time. It's not his fault that others misinterpreted his dream

E: procedural bird page snipe

pink-sided junco :kimchi:

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:33

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

We so funny! lolol our game sucks lolol bugs bugs bugs!

LOL... I just got the same email and was going to post the same. :pgabz:

It's like they are purposefully taking the piss out of their customers. It's almost like they are becoming a parody of themselves... inception_₃

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 22:40 on Feb 13, 2016

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:36

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

RedTonic posted:

Is it... stimperial sausage?

You'd know if it were

No sausage is made unwitnessed in the Stimpire

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:39

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/15198-February-Subscriber-Flair

I forget they give lovely miniature virtual models of ships to people who pay them money each month.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:41

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

fuctifino posted:

LOL... I just got the same email and was going to post the same. :ewone:

It's like they are purposefully taking the piss out of their customers. It's almost like they are becoming a parody of themselves... inception_₃

It's a celebration of mediocrity and ineptness, it's so disgustingly self congratulatory it borders on farce,and then jumps over that border and runs screaming into a wall of PAAAARP!

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:43

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/155826/is-sandy-gardiner-married-to-chris-roberts

Date is interesting, full year before Derek Smart was tipped off, reference to Bora Bora I don't recall.

http://www.gamefront.com/star-citizens-fundraising-could-end-up-hurting-the-game/

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:50

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

fuctifino posted:

LOL... I just got the same email and was going to post the same.

It's like they are purposefully taking the piss out of their customers. It's almost like they are becoming a parody of themselves... inception_₃

Now that would be a movie mind gently caress. Stimception. A nightmare within a nightmare.

Imagine floating around with razor blades and the rectal CPAP device in zero-G.Sounds like SATAball.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:51

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

After playing some more Elite, it's kind of sad that it's almost everything Star Citizen wants to be. I'm going to laugh when the XP after Horizons turns out to be FPS stuff

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:51

Cobblers: Feb 5, 2016; Come commandos, on wings of joy we'll fly
To where my bower hangs on high;
Come, and make thy calm retreat,
Among procedurally generated green leaves and blossoms sweet.

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustri...-to-be-expected

Can someone PM this guy and tell him to get a refund now, while he can?

Done.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:52

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

CYBER TERRORIST

AP fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Feb 13, 2016

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:53

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Cobblers posted:

Done.

You are aware that they read this thread and Beer was permabanned for far less than this, right?

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:56

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Cobblers posted:

Done.

You're so helpful Cobblers

. What happened to your RSI forum ban anyways? It looked like you were both banned and probated at one point.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:56

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

AP posted:

CYBER TERRORIST

Who's Manzes?

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:58

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

More Bora Bora.

quote:

I have been working at Cloud Imperium Games full-time (More than 3 years)

Pros

Exposure to multiple job roles outside of the job you're hired for. Great experience in what not to do. Team of talented employees who are attempting to salvage the project despite founders mismanagement

Cons

During my time at Cloud Imperium Games I have been subjected to the following verbal abuse: Been called homophobic slurs, mentally disabled, female genitalia, female dog by management of the company. Founders of the company routinely scream at employees. All of this was reported to HR with no action taken. The management have forced employees to enforce illegal hiring practices such as:"We are not going to hire her, we're not hiring a black girl" "We won't hire her, she looks like she has a hairy [private parts]""Make sure to check their education field on the resume, if it is from too long ago don't interview them, they may be over 40 which makes them a protected class and harder to fire" All of this was reported to HR and no action was taken. Management frequently discuss drug use and desire to use drugs in the office and inappropriate discussion of their sex lives in front of employees Management misappropriate projects development budget. They have: Taken 1st class trips to Paris, Milan, London, Bora Bora, Rio de Janeiro, Australia, Venice, and several more locations all paid for using backer funds. Taken money directly out of the company coffers for personal expenses. Buy fancy clothes, expensive dinners (over $1,000), private chefs, lease three Porsche vehicles, and lease a mansion all using company money.This was reported to Executive staff multiple times and no action was taken. Executive management (remaining, the honest ones all left) are powerless to affect change as they live in fear of being fired by the founders. Morale at all studios is extremely low and the culture is often referred to as similar to "A Game of Thrones" with the management often compared to Joffrey Baratheon. You never know who is going to get fired next (head on a pike) for no reason whatsoever. The company lies. It lies to employees, it lies to its backers, it lies to the media. It lies to everyone. If I haven't scared you off yet and you still want to join the company here is one last reason to sway you. If you get hired you will only have the job for another couple months before the company is out of money. That is why myself and 35+ other people have been told their last day next month in addition to the 25+ people that got fired or quit in September.Save yourself, you've been warned. Standard stuff: No 401k No profit sharing Medical plan has a $5,000 deductible before it kicks in 80+ hour weeks are mandatory to avoid falling behind or being fired/singled out of the herd Most employee positions are made salaried to avoid paying overtime

Advice to Management

Resign. The only hope for this company and the project are for the management to step down and hand over the reigns to a more level headed and competent management team. Virtually every employee despises the management, get the message you are not welcome here.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 22:59

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

AP posted:

CYBER TERRORIST

That must be Tarkaroshe.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:00

Wrecked Angle: May 12, 2012; "JURASSIC PARK!"

I'm not good real good with words or being clever so can some of you funny people do things like this because I find things like this amusing.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:01

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

MeLKoR posted:

Who's Manzes?

Brazilian whale that went mad over Star Citizen not intending to ban teamspeak or something stupid. The issue of what he went crazy over doesn't really matter, he started questioning things and was directly emailing Sandi in a conversation that went bad (any of this sounding familiar?).

https://twitter.com/sandigardiner/status/523927427290906625

quote:

@Longscope_MV - he was banned over a year ago and refunded, was really horrible to all of us at CIG, said he was SCs No1 Brazilian fan

I think they attempted to blacken his name over "omg females in danger" and that really pushed him off the deep end, any old star citizen media piece has him ranting with way too many words and several different alt accounts, this is all well before Derek Smart got involved.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:03

Cobblers: Feb 5, 2016; Come commandos, on wings of joy we'll fly
To where my bower hangs on high;
Come, and make thy calm retreat,
Among procedurally generated green leaves and blossoms sweet.

Mirificus posted:

You're so helpful Cobblers . What happened to your RSI forum ban anyways? It looked like you were both banned and probated at one point.

I don't know. According to Jared I was probated for 48hrs then banned for 48hrs at the discretion of the staff then unbanned at the precise time my probation ran out.

I was a bit confused by the exchange.

MeLKoR posted:

You are aware that they read this thread and Beer was permabanned for far less than this, right?

Yeah, im sure they read it constantly. They also read the PMs on the forums, though, so mentioning it here won't do any more harm.

Edit: nvm probated again anyway.

Cobblers fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Feb 13, 2016

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:03

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

Justin Tyme posted:

Star Citizen isn't even that good looking of a game honestly, it's incredibly plain. Battlefront is miles ahead in the ~fidelity~ department.

toss in some custom shader mods and it looks really insane

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:04

Loel: Jun 4, 2012; "For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

We so funny! lolol our game sucks lolol bugs bugs bugs!

Like everything else, it's a Monty Python reference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anwy2MPT5RE

(Choir: Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:09

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

Cobblers posted:

Done.

They'll ban you for that, probably.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:11

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Cobblers posted:

I don't know. According to Jared I was probated for 48hrs then banned for 48hrs at the discretion of the staff then unbanned at the precise time my probation ran out.

I was a bit confused by the exchange.

That does sound confusing.

quote:

Yeah, im sure they read it constantly. They also read the PMs on the forums, though, so mentioning it here won't do any more harm.

Edit: nvm probated again anyway.

New probation?

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:12

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Cobblers posted:

I was a bit confused by the exchange.

So are most SC customers.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:12

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:14

No Mods No Masters: Oct 3, 2004

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

*Presses <<USE>> to pay respects*

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:17

Carol Pizzamom: Jul 13, 2006; a bear you feed is a bear and a steed

Solarin posted:

This was the dream Chris Roberts (aka robber crab, just like our friend the coconut crab) had in mind this whole time. It's not his fault that others misinterpreted his dream

E: procedural bird page snipe

Good job on the bird

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:17

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

I would have expected the brown sea to become more turbulent by now, particularly since the rapid-fire PTU patches came to a screeching halt right after the Crimperor axed Star Marine, and all but announced his plans to ignore it until his straight-to-landfill movie release is completed.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:19

Happy Sisyphus: Nov 13, 2013; You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

i thought lando said there were no trolls in star citizen

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:19

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Happy Sisyphus posted:

i thought lando said there were no trolls in star citizen

It didn't come from Chris Roberts, so

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:20

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

Scruffpuff posted:

I would have expected the brown sea to become more turbulent by now, particularly since the rapid-fire PTU patches came to a screeching halt right after the Crimperor axed Star Marine, and all but announced his plans to ignore it until his straight-to-landfill movie release is completed.

Who will be the brave soul to test if Crimperor and Powerpoint Bob keywords are banned on next weeks RtV chat ?

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:22

Cobblers: Feb 5, 2016; Come commandos, on wings of joy we'll fly
To where my bower hangs on high;
Come, and make thy calm retreat,
Among procedurally generated green leaves and blossoms sweet.

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

Congratulations commando o9.
What was that for?

Mirificus posted:

That does sound confusing.

Yeah, it also doesn't quite gel with what I saw - I think I was unbanned before my probation ran out as my avatar changed from banned back to probated. I think someone just jumped the gun and then undid it shortly after.

Mirificus posted:

New probation?

Yup, jared probated me for necro'ing bird related threads again.

Cobblers fucked around with this message at 23:31 on Feb 13, 2016

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:23

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Mirificus posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6354129/#Comment_6354129

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6354584/#Comment_6354584

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6359628/#Comment_6359628

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6360447/#Comment_6360447

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:32

xanif: Nov 3, 2010; Beer: Who was your first kill, not counting old men?
Eonwe: One of the outlaws in the Brotherhood.
Seraph84: I was there that day. You were only a squire, sixteen years old.
Eonwe: You killed Friendly Tumour with a counter-post. Best move I ever saw.; Oven Wrangler

Will the birds have turrets?

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:33

Haskell9: Sep 23, 2008; post it live; The Great Twist

DoctorStrangelove posted:

Anyone who enjoys stimpire will like SEA PATROL. It doesn't go as far into hosed up fetish poo poo but it's still a similar kind of weird fanfic thing that is born of the same sort of diseased mind.

The SEA PATROL guys even have rectal CPAPs like Stimperial marines.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:35

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Cobblers posted:

Congratulations commando o9.
What was that for?

I forgot my password ages ago,just recovered it now and was immediately sent to that page.

I was on the forums yonks ago and annoying everyone(on there and here) by basically being a shithead and riling them up, my how things have changed that's what got me banned.

# ? Feb 13, 2016 23:38