FATAL & Friends 2016-19: Bad Rules and Hidden Jewels

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girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

ProfessorProf posted:

I wish this had come up when it was still deal of the day.

The quick rundown:

Tactical grid combat, most of the game's crunch is frontloaded into chargen.

Very light on built-in fluff to keep it setting agnostic - past, future, modern, anything's kosher as long as it's ridiculous and at least a little supernatural.

Mixed level/pointbuy system, where each time you level up you get more points and also get generally more powerful because what is anime without gradual power escalation.

As long as you focus on 2 or 3 stats to keep high, it's hard to build a character who isn't functional.

The big meat of chargen is Techniques, where you build your own 4e-style powers from the ground up - add a Core (Damage, Healing, Barrier, Boost, etc) to define what it does, modifiers (Ranged Technique, Blast Radius, Persistent Effect, Immobilizing Strike) to make it more fun, then Limits (Cooldown, lose Health, debuff self, require Valor) to reduce the cost.

Valor is a resource for all important characters that starts each scene at 0 and gradually builds over time / is doled out by the GM when you act properly dramatic and over the top. You can burn it 3 at a time to boost rolls or recover Health.

Get once-a-scene Ultimate Techniques every 5 levels that can either be big explodey super attacks or DBZ-style transformations.

Generic framework for non-combat scenes that makes them more involved than "roll a skill check a couple times", which I've seen used for infiltration missions, info gathering, social conflicts, iron chef cooking battles, and abstracted actual combat.

A friend of mine is prepping to run a One Piece game in it as we speak, it's more or less perfect for it. Gundam could work, although a lot of details would need to be abstracted (at least until we get our mecha splatbook out). People were talking about Pretty Cure / Sailor Moon earlier, also works great for that sort of thing.

I'd consider doing a writeup of it myself, but that seems kind of self-serving.

Man, that seems really loving cool and it's very intriguing.

But...

Twenty-five dollars.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 17:23

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:53

Humbug Scoolbus: Apr 25, 2008; The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.; Clapping Larry

ProfessorProf posted:

I wish this had come up when it was still deal of the day.

The quick rundown:

Tactical grid combat, most of the game's crunch is frontloaded into chargen.

Very light on built-in fluff to keep it setting agnostic - past, future, modern, anything's kosher as long as it's ridiculous and at least a little supernatural.

Mixed level/pointbuy system, where each time you level up you get more points and also get generally more powerful because what is anime without gradual power escalation.

As long as you focus on 2 or 3 stats to keep high, it's hard to build a character who isn't functional.

The big meat of chargen is Techniques, where you build your own 4e-style powers from the ground up - add a Core (Damage, Healing, Barrier, Boost, etc) to define what it does, modifiers (Ranged Technique, Blast Radius, Persistent Effect, Immobilizing Strike) to make it more fun, then Limits (Cooldown, lose Health, debuff self, require Valor) to reduce the cost.

Valor is a resource for all important characters that starts each scene at 0 and gradually builds over time / is doled out by the GM when you act properly dramatic and over the top. You can burn it 3 at a time to boost rolls or recover Health.

Get once-a-scene Ultimate Techniques every 5 levels that can either be big explodey super attacks or DBZ-style transformations.

Generic framework for non-combat scenes that makes them more involved than "roll a skill check a couple times", which I've seen used for infiltration missions, info gathering, social conflicts, iron chef cooking battles, and abstracted actual combat.

A friend of mine is prepping to run a One Piece game in it as we speak, it's more or less perfect for it. Gundam could work, although a lot of details would need to be abstracted (at least until we get our mecha splatbook out). People were talking about Pretty Cure / Sailor Moon earlier, also works great for that sort of thing.

I'd consider doing a writeup of it myself, but that seems kind of self-serving.

That sounds fantastic, but that price point. The art was that expensive?

# ? Feb 15, 2016 17:34

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Why am I tempted to not only buy this $25 game, but then F&F it so everyone can have their curiosities sated?

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:18

Hunt11: Jul 24, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Couldn't you still review it but instead take it from a designer perspective as in comment on why you made certain decisions and what systems you liked how they turned out and what you view as not quite meeting your original goal.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:21

LaSquida: Nov 1, 2012; Just keep on walkin'.

Poison Mushroom posted:

Man, that seems really loving cool and it's very intriguing.

But...

Twenty-five dollars.

How did you arrive at that price point, ProfessorProf?

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:23

Quinn2win: Nov 9, 2011; Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

LeSquide posted:

How did you arrive at that price point, ProfessorProf?

My co-writer has been handling the business end of things, I'll get word from him on the thought process later today.

BTW, I made a thread.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:34

Doresh: Jan 7, 2015

gradenko_2000 posted:

As further background, Bill Webb himself is the CEO of Frog God Games, the publisher of Original D&D retroclone Swords & Wizardry (and also Pathfinder-compatible equivalents), and especially the Rappan Athuk megadungeon, which is purportedly inspired by Gygaxian classics like the Tomb of Horrors.

Dammit I like Swords & Wizardry. I just hope none of his ideas made it into the actual core rules.

quote:

Putting this in context is a module like Tomb of Horrors. Imagine a player who has 500 hours invested in learning to play his character; he knows his skills and abilities inside and out. He values and holds dear the life of his character as if it were his own. Now take a player who has maybe 50 hours of play with the same power. Now put them both in Gary�s Tomb. The second guy is in for a short adventure.

I don't think I need 500 hours of experience to wrap my head around "I'm a level 10 Fighter. My skills an abilities are that I can hit stuff! And I may or may not have a castle somewhere!"

quote:

Even players using the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game could try this approach. It would take some getting used to, but I encourage you to give it a try and see how the players adapt. Try the 3d6 method, too. Players used to all high scores may complain at first, but after a while they get used to it and start using their heads instead of their stats to make characters legendary. The single highest level player character ever to play in my Lost Lands campaign (Flail the Great) had a 17 wisdom and nothing else above 9.

That's out to work well. It's not like Attribute bonuses are slightly more important in recent D&D iterations than they used to be.

"Player skill" is also not entirely helpful if the game mechanics are actually somewhat sound and your character just sucks in terms of probabilities and stuff.

gradenko_2000 posted:

Foraging

If you need to live off the land, there's a d20 table with a base 45% chance of letting you successfully roll on the d100 Foraging Results table. Having Druids, Rangers and Thieves in the party grants bonuses when foraging.

Aren't thieves supposed to be more at home in cities? What do they know about wilderness survival? Or maybe that's just my experience with The Dark Eye breaking through.

gradenko_2000 posted:

Not really? It's the thing that always happens in heartbreakers when someone comes up with an idea to make combat more "realistic", often at the expense of Fighters, and then never (or in this case, only barely) makes the connection that anything that makes Fighters worse makes Wizards indirectly better as a consequence.

"I demand absoluate adherence to realism in my fantasy game of orcs and elves in which wizards violate every law of physics there is!"

ProfessorProf posted:

A friend of mine is prepping to run a One Piece game in it as we speak, it's more or less perfect for it. Gundam could work, although a lot of details would need to be abstracted (at least until we get our mecha splatbook out). People were talking about Pretty Cure / Sailor Moon earlier, also works great for that sort of thing.

Gotta test myself. For you see...

Poison Mushroom posted:

Why am I tempted to not only buy this $25 game, but then F&F it so everyone can have their curiosities sated?

I already have. I'm downright decadent in the first few months of each year because Christmas and my birthday are so close together. I could do a F&F if nobody else wants to.

Hunt11 posted:

Couldn't you still review it but instead take it from a designer perspective as in comment on why you made certain decisions and what systems you liked how they turned out and what you view as not quite meeting your original goal.

I'd say someone else does it while he comments on each post.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:41

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

gradenko_2000 posted:

Not really? It's the thing that always happens in heartbreakers when someone comes up with an idea to make combat more "realistic", often at the expense of Fighters, and then never (or in this case, only barely) makes the connection that anything that makes Fighters worse makes Wizards indirectly better as a consequence.

Way back in grognards.txt, we noticed that fantasy games and supplements that add rules and options for fighting always ended up making fighting characters weaker (fatigue points, weapons getting damaged, bowstrings snapping, armor getting rusty, etc.) while games and supplements that added more rules and options for spellcasters always made them stronger (more spells, more specializations, more magic items, more things to summon, more rules for crafting items, etc.)

# ? Feb 15, 2016 18:52

Doresh: Jan 7, 2015

FMguru posted:

Way back in grognards.txt, we noticed that fantasy games and supplements that add rules and options for fighting always ended up making fighting characters weaker (fatigue points, weapons getting damaged, bowstrings snapping, armor getting rusty, etc.) while games and supplements that added more rules and options for spellcasters always made them stronger (more spells, more specializations, more magic items, more things to summon, more rules for crafting items, etc.)

It's like some sort of favoritism towards what is essentially the medieval fantasy equivalent of nerds.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 19:02

LornMarkus: Nov 8, 2011

FMguru posted:

Way back in grognards.txt, we noticed that fantasy games and supplements that add rules and options for fighting always ended up making fighting characters weaker (fatigue points, weapons getting damaged, bowstrings snapping, armor getting rusty, etc.) while games and supplements that added more rules and options for spellcasters always made them stronger (more spells, more specializations, more magic items, more things to summon, more rules for crafting items, etc.)

My knowledge isn't exhaustive, of course but that is the general impression I got when I still bothered to look through D&D splats. Only exceptions I can think of would be the book of Weaboo-Fighting Magic and a book a friend of mine broke out the one time it was suggested we play 3.x: it had rules for some kind of ultra-heavy platemail that started to gain non-magical enhancement ratings because it's so drat heavy and/or well-crafted. As I recall it was basically 40k Space Marine armor, going by the art.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 19:20

unseenlibrarian: Jun 4, 2012; There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.

Probably Races of Stone, which had a bunch of new types of heavy armor and feats to try and make wearing it more attractive.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 19:28

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Doesn't help with the Wizard spell selection that after a point, you can make a pretty viable part out of one-two Cleric/Druids and three-five wizards if you can survive the initial low-level hump.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 19:30

Libertad!: Oct 30, 2013; You can have the last word, but I'll have the last laugh!

gradenko_2000 posted:

Bill Webb's Book of Dirty Tricks

Hit Points and Rolls to Hit

To his credit, he does acknowledge that it's a controversial houserule, and maybe he's right about double-dipping, that you shouldn't also get a better chance-to-hit when you're already getting more HP, especially when to-hit and AC are going to have an escalating arms race anyway.

What doesn't sit well with me is that he has this heartbreaker's idea of how combat should work, complete with a reference to a historical event as how it should have worked realistically, and then he's projecting it onto this game instead of a new/different one.

Lamentations of a Flame Princess had the idea that only the Fighter should get a better to-hit, and that a Magic-User's to-hit never improves across the entire level range, but that was LOTFP as its own game. Swords and Wizardry already is its own game outside of OD&D, and then he's piling on this other system on top of it too.

Even worse is when he even recommends it for Pathfinder, because of course he does.

Up Next: Manipulating the gargoyle's buttocks

Since AC scales differently in Swords & Wizardry than it does in PF, what does he say about using it in PF? Use it as-is, or try a different method?

A 0 AC is really good in S&W, but under the ascending variant it's a value of 19 AC. Since everything scales faster in Pathfinder, a 19 AC in that game's not very impressive at middle to higher levels. A 0 AC in that game would probably be the thematic equivalent of a 25 to 28 AC in that this is a good value for people to have at most levels.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 20:46

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

Libertad! posted:

Since AC scales differently in Swords & Wizardry than it does in PF, what does he say about using it in PF? Use it as-is, or try a different method?

A 0 AC is really good in S&W, but under the ascending variant it's a value of 19 AC. Since everything scales faster in Pathfinder, a 19 AC in that game's not very impressive at middle to higher levels. A 0 AC in that game would probably be the thematic equivalent of a 25 to 28 AC in that this is a good value for people to have at most levels.

I'd first like to note that for the most part, the "compatibility" with Pathfinder seems to be more perfunctory than anything else - the Pathfinder sidebar for the foraging and traveling rules for example, basically says "look up the Pathfinder core rules for foraging and traveling, since that's already covered there"

That said, for this particular rule, if we work backwards from "needs a 17 or better to hit a target with AC 0", then I feel like the Pathfinder interpretation would be that Fighters have a flat BAB of +3. If your target has plate mail and a shield for AC 20, you'd need to roll a 17 or better on a d20 to hit them: 17 + 3 BAB = 20

The punchline is that while you could squeeze out more bonuses from your STR modifier and your weapon's magic enhancement bonus, the former won't happen because these houserules suggest using 3d6-in-order even while playing PF, and the latter won't happen because these houserules suggest tight control of loot and treasure!

And finally, you are correct insofar as AC in PF isn't "capped" like it is in OD&D/S&W, such that the model will break down at some point unless you also start rejiggering the AC numbers of high-level monsters.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 22:56

Bieeanshee: Aug 21, 2000; Not keen on keening.; Grimey Drawer

I'm getting the feeling that Bill hates elves because Bill leans on secret doors too heavily, and Bill's players caught wise-- like the one who started casting buffs when he noticed that particularly dense fluff descriptions coincided with a likely rain of poo poo.

# ? Feb 15, 2016 23:04

Doresh: Jan 7, 2015

Bieeardo posted:

I'm getting the feeling that Bill hates elves because Bill leans on secret doors too heavily, and Bill's players caught wise-- like the one who started casting buffs when he noticed that particularly dense fluff descriptions coincided with a likely rain of poo poo.

Plus they have darkvision (depending on the edition of course, but definitely in his own Swords & Wizardry game), and adversarial GMs hate it if you deny them such fun tricks as "Everyone in the entire area knows you're coming because of your torches" or "Nobody said anything about lighting torches, so I assume you've all been stumbling around in the dark for hours and are now ambushed by monsters".

# ? Feb 16, 2016 00:19

Libertad!: Oct 30, 2013; You can have the last word, but I'll have the last laugh!

Doresh posted:

Plus they have darkvision (depending on the edition of course, but definitely in his own Swords & Wizardry game), and adversarial GMs hate it if you deny them such fun tricks as "Everyone in the entire area knows you're coming because of your torches" or "Nobody said anything about lighting torches, so I assume you've all been stumbling around in the dark for hours and are now ambushed by monsters".

In my current Pathfinder campaign we have a tiefling, a goblin, and three drow forming our party. Being able to see in the dark all the time without worrying about torches is a real game-changer. Of course, that mostly matters if the GM's a stickler for that kind of thing, which I can see in OSR games due to the whole resource management of dungeon-delving.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 02:38

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

So have you ever found yourself reading Witch Girl Adventures and thinking �You know what, this could really stand to be more like the World of Darkness�? If so A: Seriously re-evaluate the decisions in your life that have brought you to this point. and B: You are, unfortunately, not alone.

Bellum Maga is brought to us by �Novus Dea Games� which I�m told is bad latin for �New Goddess�, Bellum Maga is �Female wizards of War� but I�m guessing they were aiming for �War Witches�. Novus Dea Games consists of Abigail Soto,(one of Witch Girl Adventure�s main artists), her sister Penelope, and a small army of female artists providing interior art. There�s also an editor credited but near as I can tell this book has had absolutely no proofreading beyond a spellcheck pass because there are several fairly obvious typos that can be noticed with even the most casual reading.

It has a �condemnation� section that�s completely superfluous given the entirety of the rest of the game�s context, and contains our first typo (trying to turning), it won�t be the last. And since this game is White Wolf as gently caress, it has opening in-character fiction.

quote:

Coming Full Circe
My Death and Rebirth by Minerva Winters
My story starts the day I died. It�s a tad clich� I know but it�s actually true not just for me but for my sisters in the struggle to save this world.

I�m going to need more alcohol for this.

quote:

But before we get to my story, let me tell you another one, a sad one.

Ever hear of Digahol Iowa? No you haven�t, no one has, unless your from there and if you�re from there and you�re not me you�re not reading this.

1: Dig-A-Hole Iowa? For fucks sake. 2. You have both spellings of you�re in the same run-on sentence, how do you gently caress that up? I mean right now I�ve got both Google Docs and Firefox screaming at me because that�s a common enough mistake to programatically notice.

quote:

Digahol is everything you should fear about small town life. It�s a farm town and I have nothing against farmers or farming, I personally like food and I have the curves to prove it. But it�s also a very insular town, with a population of just under six-thousand, the three non-white families are treated and viewed as if their zoo exhibits and are known with upmost respect as the friend of the family-Johnsons, the Gomexies and the Chinks-Chans(who last name wasn�t even Chan).

_{Typos lovingly preserved for your enjoyment _Gomexies?}
Since our �protagonist� is describing herself, I might as well post the accompanying photo.

Yes, her hair is purple, to what degree it is purple varies widely depending on the artist, but we�ll be seeing a lot of her.

quote:

Like many a small town Saturday night is either football in the fall or party night for the teens at the lake. The lake is where a sad chubby little girl named Tammy Winters was raped twice, once at age fifteen and one again at age sixteen.

But don�t worry about Tammy, because according to the people of Digahol, Tammy got what she had coming.

Her family the Winters were farmers, they were struggling but not poor. Her father was a former local football star, her mother a respected lady who was always willing to help her neighbors and her five brothers, great athletes, popular and handsome. Tammy, the only daughter and the fifth to be born was different. She was short, dumpy, wore glasses, listened to friend of the family and devil music and was cursed with the one thing population of Diaghol could not tolerate, intelligence.

Being smart wasn�t easy for a girl in a town where the internet could be found in only two places, the school library, the local library, where cell phone service was so spotty most people just had land lines and where any technology created after the microwave oven was seen as �New Fangled�. Yes, so amidst, a town full of racist, god-fearing luddites was born a girl who would have graduated from high school at the age of thirteen if the Digahol Iowa school system had bothered creating a gifted student program. Instead she was forced to sit in class bored and berated from the ages of five to sixteen.

Now, while tammy was pretty much persona-non grata among her peers, she was loved by her family, protected by her brothers and cherished by her spinster aunt who encouraged Tammy to be Tammy.. However, being a girl, who outsiders treated like trash can warp a person and as smart as she was, the fifth child of the Winters didn�t exactly treat her family well, especially as a teenager. Hate and hormones turned her into a self destructive rebel. She slept with boys who despised, drunk to much, did drugs, screamed a lot and thought cutting herself was a worthy pastime.

Still despite being a what she was and acting out how she saw fit she knew Digahol was not for her and the day after graduating first in her class and being denied a valedictorian speech she left Diaghol swearing to never return.

I think I just got mary sue bingo and we�re not even to the �magical divine rebirth� bullshit yet.
Also: as the next paragraph will tell us she apparently graduated at the age of sixteen, with the rest of her class, despite the fact that we were previously told that this mysterious nexus of sexism and racism in rural iowa doesn�t have an advanced placement program and she spent two years in a downward spiral of sex, drugs, and self harm? This is ludicrously implausible.

quote:

New York City, is no place for a sixteen year old girl with a bag full of clothing, 34 dollars in her pocket, half a pack of cigarettes and no friends or family. Tammy learned several hard lessons her first year in �The Big Apple�. She learned how to beg, how to steal and how to ignore the pains of hunger that rumbled in her stomach. Roaming the streets with teenagers like herself that slept in abandoned house, ran from the police and got high sniffing glue in central park she knew her life would be a short one but still the freedom she found here was better (at least in her mind) than the one she had in Digahol.

Now, a lot of people talk about hitting rocked bottom, about that point in one�s life where you have reached your lowest point and you have to make a decision, stay there or rise above it. For tammy it was when she sold her body for food at the tender age of eighteen and was beaten and raped by three men who though twenty dollars meant that they owned her. It was two days of horror that actually motivated her, not to get out of her current situation or to return home but to end her life.

How would she do it? Steal some sleeping pills?, hang herself, slit her wrist, jump of a bridge or just walk into traffic. A stout atheist she had no delusion about a �next life�, but rather just wanted her current life to end. So Monday morning in June Tammy winters stole some sleep aids from the local drug store and consumed them all in a crack house near the docks. Two day she woke up in the psychiatric wing of a local hospital, strapped to the bed with the name Jane Doe on her charts.

Three weeks later she managed to escape from her �prison�, hell bend on finishing her life by any means, She would keep her date with the Reaper. Now before we go any further I feel the need to tell you, Yes I was Tammy, I was this pail little mousy white girl in glasses, no one gave a second look at. And hindsight being twenty-twenty I could have made some extra money Cosplaying Velma from Scooby-Doo if I wasn�t a self destructive junky. But instead I found myself sleeping on the streets, plotting my early end. The only positive thing to come out of that tragedy was that the doctors at the hospital assured me that I wasn�t pregnant, so I wouldn�t be killing me and an unborn baby.

Gasp, what a shocking twist that I figured out the minute she kept saying �TAMMY WINTERS� rather than use pronouns. Also the gravitas of her sob story is muddled somewhat by the sheer implausibility of it all and the constant typos and grammatical errors(�Rocked Bottom�,�Jump of a bridge�, etc).

quote:

So yeah, rock bottom, suicidal and alone when not sleeping where I could I made my way to the Central Library where like a lot of the homeless hid from the weather and police, but unlike a lot of my downtrodden brothers and sisters I also used my time there to read and on the internet. It was there I saw that fourteen year old girl was killed in for witchcraft in the suburbs of Omaha. Burned as a witch in the 21st century, in an American suburb it was unthinkable and it shocked me. Shocked me so much that it consumed my thoughts, it replaced my self hate and I like so many others started to chant on the streets �Avenge Ashley�.

During one of the protests I met a some people who helped me. They gave me food, money, pointed out some good shelters and the greatest gift of my life up to then, a book. �The Chants of Circe�. Ragged, stained, and reeking of weed and bourbon this book spoke of Circe, the witch from the Odyssey not as just an enchantress but as a goddess, seer and rebel who fought for the rights of her sisters against the brutality of a powerful Patriacracy(ed: yes, they spelled it that way). It told the story of a girl from a fishing village who was actually a goddess it talked about how Circe found her true calling and how through her you (the reader) could do the same.

You know, in a world where a sixteen year old girl can lose herself in drugs, whore herself out, still graduate two years early from highschool at the top of her class, run away to New York City, get lost in the cracks again, whore herself out again, get put in a mental institution and escape, and there exists an all powerful Patrikakrkachakchy. The fact that a New York news magazine would give two fucks about a fourteen year old girl killed for witchcraft in loving Nebraska is the most implausible thing. To then be quickly topped by her somehow stumbling her way into a witchcraft support group with helpful seed money and a �how to witch� book.

quote:

I was still an atheist. I didn�t believe in God, Santa Claus, or Superman and FYI at the time I placed them all in the same category. But still here I was with this book, my life marginally better and a mind that was once again curious and aching for knowledge. So against my better judgment and my logical mind, I prayed to Circe, I confessed my sins and my fears.

The confessions helped, having a goal sated me and while I didn�t know it reading that book was the first nail in Tammy�s coffin. Not long after that prayer, while walking in the central park I found a wallet, in it was fifteen hundred in cash and credit cards, Despite my reprieve from darkness I was still no angel and saw my ill gotten gain as a chance, so I sold the credit cards and ID. to a guy I knew for a few hundred dollars and took it and the money, got a place at a pay by the day motel, got myself cleaned up and enrolled at the community college. I of course thought the prayers were just my own personal therapy at first, they made me feel better, less alone and more focused. For me Circe was a character in a book that I� Tammy felt kinship with and talked too at night.

Then came the day that Tammy died.

First of all, bullshit. Second of all, I need to screenshot the next paragraph just so you will believe it exists. Not only does it contain some truly impressive typos(women). They ran out of space in the paragraph and their apparent solution was to render part of the last sentence in a different, smaller font.

I feel like I�m stroking out please send help.

quote:

She.. It� was Circe, tall perfect, voice like honey and eyes as green as the sea. She told me I was special and that she had heard my prayers. That I was being tested before being tapped for the most important mission of all. I was to be her priestess and that the world that I knew, it�s history and it�s present were a lie created by a creature she called �The Old Garden Snake�.

So if a strange exotic lady who looked equal parts, Greek, Indian and North African told you she was your goddess what would you say? What questions do you ask? I just sat there dumbfounded and slack jawed as she told me that I had to die to be reborn. that the final part of my journey towards priestess hood, the final act of commitment would be me doing what I tries to do before.

Oh so that explains why everything was so improbable, Circe was behind everything.

Hey Tammy, here�s a question you should ask your god, �Why did you feel the need to rape me 5 times?�

quote:

The rite was Simple, a silver knife, a bath tub, candles, a full moon and drop of Circe�s blood in the tub where I slit my wrist and bleed out hoping against hope I was right and I wasn�t dreaming the days previous events. So, about 10pm that night Tammy Winters died, and Minerva Winters was born.

Minerva was my nickname on the streets and in the clubs I would beg myself into hoping some guy would buy me a drink and get close enough for me to steal some cash out of his pocket while he thought I was giving him a hand-job. It was a name I felt kinship too, it wasn�t Tammy it was the facade of the cool, witty girl I played when I needed too, the person I wish I was.

So, yeah I died and as all of you reading this knows, when you die your life passes before your eyes, the best and worst of it plays out before you as your brain shuts down, your heart stops and you die. But instead of moving on to the next world or ceasing to be, in this case I found myself merged with the all knowing, all feeling, all loving Goddesshead, I felt its love for all of humanity, it�s fear of the Serpent, it�s ability to forgive and its lust for vengeance. I felt for the first time as If I was were I belong, were I needed to be and loved unconditionally, It�s something we all feel right as we�re tossed back into our bodies as they are renewed and rebuilt

Holy gently caress that last paragraph. Did no one read this before she published it!? I mean I�m pretty sure her editor was �The girl who knows Indesign� but she didn�t even double check it herself? How can she use it�s and its in the same sentence in the same context? And how to you screw up were and where?

quote:

I thought when I woke up I would be a supermodel, but you see the idea of the supermodel is a lie of the snake, physical beauty and perfection comes in all shapes and sizes. I was me, but not me, I was curvy, still needing glasses and still as pale as a Nordic ghost. My brown hair was gone replaced by naturally purple hair, my favorite color, a color t shared with my eyes. I no longer felt tired or sluggish, I felt alive, I had new lungs, new liver, new heart and a new brain sharper than ever. I was a Maga, a Demi-Goddess in the flesh and beyond all of that and the joy of a new life I felt something else�. I felt magic.

Circe was my Patroness, I was her daughter just as much as I was my mortal mother�s daughter. Her power didn�t just flow through me, it was a part of me. If I had to describe what magic feel like thing of it as if the endorphins you feel from laughter and love are always on, it�s a steady very subtle high that never ebbs and explodes when we releases it. That�s why we smile when we use magic, because for us magic is joy.

So there I was a fully armed priestess of the Goddesshead, with more power in my pinky finger than a grenade and while I expected to be given a grand and glorious mission in the name of the Circe and her sisters instead I was sent to the rear end end of Texas(El Paso) to rescue what I first thought was the most morally reprehensible person I�ve ever met, my Roomate Selene.

The Goddesshead isn�t some benign deity who rewards only the justice. She knows that every army needs a sword and some times the best swords are those that like to be bloody. Selene cruz was a young woman from a dirt poor family. Her father made a living as a day laborer her mother stayed at home unable to find work due to a medical condition. Selene loved trouble and was near fearless and had a particular hate for the often brutal El Paso Police who shot and killed her cousin on a routine traffic stop.

It�s like every clich� in the world came to rest in one character. And that first sentence is amazing and perfect in every way.

quote:

So it came to the surprise of no one when Selene found herself on the run after spray painting �Pigs� on multiple police cruisers. That after being arrested, she was handcuffed and beaten, but instead of taking the beating Selene grabbed the gun of a careless Policeman and shot her attackers and killed four policemen before being tasered, beaten and shot herself.

Less than a year later she was on death row. The laws of humans and the will of the Goddesshead are not the same. Poverty, hopelessness and brutality had turned Selene into what she was, she was the victim of the society of and when she saw no other way out like me she had made up her mind to die. This time however she took four men with her who upon research turned out to be known for their brutal tactics and case after case of suspects dying during arrest. Thus any sympathy I had for them vanished. Further investigation revealed the men were members of the ultra right wing snake backed �truthkeeper� organization and that �Black Viper� was in charge of training the police to deal with �borderer incursions�.

�You know what we need, an acceptable target. No we need a more acceptable target. No it isn�t obvious enough who we�re referencing!�

quote:

That�s the �the Old Garden Snake� works, it corrupts an organization and that organization it�s members and soon that corruption spreads. It�s on that mission I learned sometimes you have to cut out the �cancer� to save the body. I came in posing as an idealistic lawyer. A little bit of magic made the ruse believable but the serpent�s men knew I was coming or at the very least sensed me there and attack. LIke I said I was new, I was green and I had never been shot at. In the end I failed to reach Selene. The first time.

But I had a plan to save her as I was saved. But instead of being reborn in water, she would be reborn in fire. Knowing I couldn�t get in to see Selene thanks to Black Viper guards and their minions I magic the mind of the Prison doctor and sent him out to poison Selen. Well not poison so much as induce a coma, have her declared dead and as per her wishes, her body cremated. Part of the poison was a drop of my blood, flush with the power of Circe. And hopefully her blessing.

Everything worked without a hitch up until the point Selene, rose from her ashes like a phoenix and start setting everything on fire. Thankfully during the chaos I managed to rescue her and get both of us back to New York City.

And so my story started and so has yours, I hope it�s not as �exciting� as mine, I�m more at home turning slum lords into slugs than being out on the front lines battling snake men and Nazi-super soldiers., even though I seem to find myself doing that too. Thankfully I have a coven at my side as I�m sure you do too. Our war is a hard one and It�s one full of hard decisions and sacrifice. SO be careful out there and if you need any help you have my email address. Till my next time., give them hell sister!

So yes, not knowing what would happen she poisoned her charge and set her on fire, and then it all worked out okay, and then they left for New York somehow! And she doesn't understand how commas and periods interact! Don�t worry everything's fine!

Would you believe me that this is going to get worse before it gets better?

Since it�s exceptionally short, let�s squeeze in the first chapter as well.

Chapter 1: Beginnings
It opens with an in character form letter from �Minerva, High Priestess Circe� that doesn�t have many typos outside of her apparently not being the High Priestess of Circe. And the phrase �Time to woman up!�

What is Bellum Maga (No question mark)
Take the modern world, and �place it a fantasy setting� where witches battle the patriarchy for the minds and souls of earth.

Is this a Feminist Game?
The fact that this isn�t just �loving YES! NEXT QUESTION� in 72 point font is a travesty.

Since most RPGs are full of male fantasies, vapid female characters and racial prejudice (�I know a lot of you are thinking that�s not true, but it is if you really look at it.�) they decided to make their own.

That�s not to say that they�re wrong, RPGs have usually been male power fantasies, the issue is that they went way too far in the other direction.

quote:

That�s not to say men and boys can�t play this game. Nor is it saying this game has any agenda other than having fun in a different kid of universe. One where the ladies are taking the lead and bringing right-wing-conservative-racist-luddite leaders and their followers to task.

They say one thing and do the other. You cannot play a man in this game, at all. Most of the artwork depicts Maga either killing white men, or turning white men into animals or inanimate objects. There are precisely two black men portrayed in any artwork, and only one woman that I can be reasonably certain is supposed to be antagonistic. And the GM isn�t the Games Master(which is reasonably gender neutral) it�s the �Gamemistress�.

_{That isn�t to say that the �Patriacracy� isn�t probably primarily caucasian and male. Just that there should be some outliers, just look at Fox News.}

Once Upon a Time

�The world of Bellum Maga is based on two premises That History is a lie and that Fairy Tales are real.�

Right so.. a summary. In the beginning women ruled the world (as was right) because mankind still revered the earth and the Goddesshead. This universal time known as the �Pax Majestrix�(Peace of the Great Woman) came to an end 5000 years ago when Cain(yes, that cain, apparently) made a deal with a being of discord and destruction known as Rex Anguis (The Snake King). Cain freed the Snake and it engaged the Goddesshead in a stalemate battle and the power of the Maga weakened as the Goddesshead used it to try and cage the serpent which was feeding off of mankind;s �war, greed, intolerance and ignorance�.

The Maga thought they were abandoned and either killed themselves so their power could return to the Goddesshead, or went into hiding. �Man� in this time villified the Maga, turning them into the �dark sorceress, the evil queen and the deomoness.� until Maga faded into myth. But then a girl was burned at the stake in Nebraska(I�m still confused as to why) and there was a nationwide outrage of women which weakened the Serpent and empowered the Goddesshead to create more Maga.

One thing to note is that this game uses white wolf's dice system, but with d6s instead of d10s, 123 is a failure, 456 is a success. Critical hits and failures still exist, but as "all 1s" and "all 6s", meaning that it's virtually impossible to crit once you get higher amounts of dice, but it's also nearly impossible to crit fail.

Now it�s time for our second favorite part of any white-wolf-ish book (there aren�t stereotypes, sadly) the lexicon!

�Lexicon� posted:

Attributes: Character statistic that represent that characters most basic abilities

Crit: When you roll all 6s on a roll .

Difficulty: The number of rolls needed to succeed on an action.

Flub: All 1s on a roll.

Goddesshead: The sentient force aspect of creation that protects the earth and all things on it.

Gamemistress: The person who runs the game, acts as referee, decides the scenario, places the NPCs and helps keep the story organized and moving forward.

Health: How much damage you can take before you die.

Initiative:The start of combat where characters and the Gamemistress(representing NPCs) decide who goes first by making an inactive roll (Agility+Brains).

Maga:Women powered by the Goddesshead.

Mana:The mystical energy of a character can be used to activate gifts and talents.

NPC: Non-Player character: a character in the game controlled by the Gamemistress.

PC:Player Character

Round: hen everyone in a combat situation in game who can do something has done something is considered a round.

The Patriarcracy: The current system of government created.

Victim:The target of a gift, talent, or combat skill.

So two things, one: Patriarcracy was apparently intentional, two: even they admit that what witches do are to "victims" and not targets.

The chapter closes out with a chat log where women reduce men to things only fit to do their housework.

No seriously.

Next time: Character Creation: Take two Parts World of Darkness, one part IKRPG, add Fate to taste

# ? Feb 16, 2016 05:26

Black August: Sep 28, 2003

These parts of the GMG are handy for some flavor ideas for a setting, though they are pretty dry around this point. It picks back up when it discusses the timeline, and then how to make Superiors work for your setting.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 05:39

Bieeanshee: Aug 21, 2000; Not keen on keening.; Grimey Drawer

Kurieg posted:

It has a �condemnation� section that�s completely superfluous given the entirety of the rest of the game�s context, and contains our first typo (trying to turning), it won�t be the last. And since this game is White Wolf as gently caress, it has opening in-character fiction.

It's got two. That lovely, lovely font is obscuring a superfluous 'I' in Condemnation.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 06:15

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

I lost count how many times I rolled my eyes at the introductory stuff in Bella Maga.

Though to be fair, the murder of a young girl in such a brutal fashion sells newspapers like hot cakes, so it's gonna be reported even if it took place in Nebraska.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 06:46

theironjef: Aug 11, 2009; The archmage of unexpected stinks.

Alright people. Someone sent us 3rd edition Synnibarr, the continued brainchild of the oracular madman Raven "Carbonadium Smasher" McCracken, and so after avoiding it and trying not to look at it for months, we finally reviewed the drat thing.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 06:56

Doresh: Jan 7, 2015

Excellent.

And hey look, it's my favorite WoD game: Femi, the Nazying.

I'm not sure what's worse: That they so didn't stick the landing, that the mustache-twirling patriarchs will just go "Hur hur women can't type for poo poo" before returning to their daily reading of FATAL, or that they apparently missed the transgender bandwagon for extra progressiveness. Or maybe men just cannot be redeemned, even if they identify as a woman?

And since this seems to be the perfect opportunity to mention it, this is apparently a thing. Could this be the exception of the magical girl RPG rule "In the grim darkness of the Silver Millenium, there is only Meguca"? I dunno, but I'll keep it in my F&F todo list.

Doresh fucked around with this message at 07:35 on Feb 16, 2016

# ? Feb 16, 2016 07:22

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Doresh posted:

Or that they apparently missed the transgender bandwagon for extra progressiveness. Or maybe men just cannot be redeemned, even if they identify as a woman?

They address this next chapter.

They do not address it well.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:00

TombsGrave: Feb 15, 2008

Placing an early bet on "addressed like a TG fetishist would address it in a TG fetish comic."

Or is that like betting that the author breathes oxygen and obtains nutrition from food?

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:12

girl dick energy: Sep 30, 2009; You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Ooh, playing the longshot, huh? I'll take the safe bet and place my money on "handle it like a radfem would handle it".

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:15

unseenlibrarian: Jun 4, 2012; There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.

Pretty sure the answer is "You're both right", which is why I suggested the game be called "TERF Wars" in the Industry thread where it first came up.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:17

NutritiousSnack: Jul 12, 2011

Robindaybird posted:

I lost count how many times I rolled my eyes at the introductory stuff in Bella Maga.

Though to be fair, the murder of a young girl in such a brutal fashion sells newspapers like hot cakes, so it's gonna be reported even if it took place in Nebraska.

Missing White Girl syndrome.

unseenlibrarian posted:

Pretty sure the answer is "You're both right", which is why I suggested the game be called "TERF Wars" in the Industry thread where it first came up.

Given this is a Witch Girls spin off and turning white men into objects/animals is a thing, maybe it's "fetishist sadistic vore" stuff.

NutritiousSnack fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Feb 16, 2016

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:33

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Yeah, my money is on "Fetishized" or "TERF"

# ? Feb 16, 2016 08:37

Crasical: Apr 22, 2014; GG!^*
^*GET GOOD

I like how between Bill Webb and Bellum Maga, the Ravenloft review is the -least- horrifying thing in this thread right now.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:07

Vox Valentine: May 31, 2013; Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

I have a distinct feeling that transformation spells are excruciatingly painful.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:24

Ratoslov: Feb 15, 2012; Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

Why is 'Fairy-tales are real!' a lynchpin of the setting? A lot of fairy-tales are quite sexist.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:26

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

Alien Rope Burn posted:

The obvious solution is to have a wizard who casts fireball describe how they cast the spell. If it sounds legit make them roll to hit, if they fail roll on the scatter table to see how far it deviates.

If their description doesn't sound like bona-fide wizardry, it blows up in their face for max damage!

This "dirty GM" business seems easy, maybe I should write a book?

That would be a good way of enforcing Paradigm in Mage. Done right, it encourages research on cool real magic rituals (which is usually weirder than anything a game designer would come up with).

I'd never play this guy's tabletop game, but if he designed Dark Souls/Fantasy Oregon Trail as a brutal roguelike he'd rake in the dough on Steam. I think Darkest Dungeon is the latest darling, but everyone seems to buy those type of games.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:30

Lightning Lord: Feb 21, 2013; $200 a day, plus expenses

Crasical posted:

I like how between Bill Webb and Bellum Maga, the Ravenloft review is the -least- horrifying thing in this thread right now.

Lightning Lord fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:34

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Ratoslov posted:

Why is 'Fairy-tales are real!' a lynchpin of the setting? A lot of fairy-tales are quite sexist.

Revisionist Fairytales are in vogue, and admittedly some are actually not that bad, but yes a lot of them are horseshit sexist, especially Bluebeard, where some versions blames the bride for being curious and disobedient.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:38

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

Bieeardo posted:

I'm getting the feeling that Bill hates elves because Bill leans on secret doors too heavily, and Bill's players caught wise-- like the one who started casting buffs when he noticed that particularly dense fluff descriptions coincided with a likely rain of poo poo.

The review mentioned something about dwarves being able to get more info on stone-based traps automatically, which brings to mind a Fantasy GUMSHOE where you automatically make Investigation rolls based on your character's knowledge.

Robindaybird posted:

Revisionist Fairytales are in vogue, and admittedly some are actually not that bad, but yes a lot of them are horseshit sexist, especially Bluebeard, where some versions blames the bride for being curious and disobedient.

One of last year's best sci-fi movies was based on Bluebeard, Ex Machina. It's like the Angela Carter version. Her 'revisionist fairytales' are the best:

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:45

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Count Chocula posted:

The review mentioned something about dwarves being able to get more info on stone-based traps automatically, which brings to mind a Fantasy GUMSHOE where you automatically make Investigation rolls based on your character's knowledge.

One of last year's best sci-fi movies was based on Bluebeard, Ex Machina. It's like the Angela Carter version. Her 'revisionist fairytales' are the best:

There's an earlier version or perhaps, just one with the same basic story fame called Fitcher's Bird, where the bride instead of crying for help, the bride escapes by disguising herself as a strange bird.

King Thrushbeard is sexist no matter how you spin it.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:57

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

Robindaybird posted:

I lost count how many times I rolled my eyes at the introductory stuff in Bella Maga.

Though to be fair, the murder of a young girl in such a brutal fashion sells newspapers like hot cakes, so it's gonna be reported even if it took place in Nebraska.

That would be huge news! Especially since it plays into the prejudice the North has against the South and prevailing narratives about sexism.

Speaking of sexism:

quote:

You know, in a world where a sixteen year old girl can lose herself in drugs, whore herself out, still graduate two years early from highschool at the top of her class, run away to New York City, get lost in the cracks again, whore herself out again, get put in a mental institution and escape, and there exists an all powerful Patrikakrkachakchy. The fact that a New York news magazine would give two fucks about a fourteen year old girl killed for witchcraft in loving Nebraska is the most implausible thing. To then be quickly topped by her somehow stumbling her way into a witchcraft support group with helpful seed money and a �how to witch� book.

Huh? Heaps of people do drugs, 'whore themselves out' (to use your charming phrase), still get good grades, go to New York, and leave mental insitutions. Some of them even have colorful hair! It's almost like there's some kind of all-pervasive social system that causes these problems and then shames the victims of them! Some kind of... Patriarchy.
Did you really imply it only exists in the game?

The writing and editing are crap, and this book totally deserves mocking by some smart women, but we need more riot girl witch RPGs and fewer fantasy heartbreakers.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 09:58

Robindaybird: Aug 21, 2007; Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Count Chocula posted:

Huh? Heaps of people do drugs, 'whore themselves out' (to use your charming phrase), still get good grades, go to New York, and leave mental insitutions. Some of them even have colorful hair! It's almost like there's some kind of all-pervasive social system that causes these problems and then shames the victims of them! Some kind of... Patriarchy.
Did you really imply it only exists in the game?

The writing and editing are crap, and this book totally deserves mocking by some smart women, but we need more riot girl witch RPGs and fewer fantasy heartbreakers.

I'm saying it as a woman. Yes, stuff like this happens and yes male privilege makes things hard for women and the patriarchy does exist to an extent. But the whole narrative just reeks of melodrama for the sake of scoring Mary Sue bingo points, and not a real look into the causes of self-destructive behavior, or how it's society's fault beyond "Well because!" or "Because white men!" - that's a childish oversimplification of complex social issues

There's a certain point when the tragedy is piled on too high and it becomes a farce, especially when wrapped up in a "Circe was just testing me!" narrative.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 10:09

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# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:53

Count Chocula: Dec 25, 2011; WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN

It's badly written and cheesy, but there's so many male power fantasies that are just as bad. Maybe some kind of resistance can help - creating stories, no matter how dumb, that women can use as sources of power, or stepping stones to read deeper. I dunno, maybe the whole 'power of stories' thing is privileged bullshit. But everyone deserves imaginative armor to step into.

And hey, pretending to beat up rednecks and right-wing assholes can be fun.

# ? Feb 16, 2016 10:19

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > FATAL & Friends 2016-19: Bad Rules and Hidden Jewels

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