Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

«‹›848 »

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Why are most of those fake mugshot+outrageous headline shops featuring black people? I'm admittedly kindof a softie, but I just don't see the fun in those. I know Say Nothing runs this and says anything goes, it just chafes me.

quote:

Drank Carbolic Acid. On this
Thursday a Man entered one of this City's
Apothecaries and through Gestures ex-
plained that he had mistakenly drunk car-
bolic Acid. He was immediately thereafter
brought by the thereto called Police to the
Hospital of the Commune.

Disturbed the Peace of Graves. A
somewhat tipsy Woman, in Posession
of several freshly plucked Flowers,
of whose Whereabouts she could not
explain, was Day before last encountered
in Assistens Cemetery, where she stomped
around in various graves. She was by the
Authorities brought to the Police.

A Woman was yesterday encountered
with a loose Dog in the Assistens Cemetery,
which according to the Police Accord
is not allowed. As she would not leave
the Cemetery following the Request
of the Authority, the Police was called.

From the newspaper The Social-Democrat, 1800s.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 01:54

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:39

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Additionally, I enjoy how all of tomorrow's papers lead with some variation on "DEAL REACHED BUT GOVE BACKS LEAVE" except for the Star, which has "RITA ORA TOPLESS ON X FACTOR" or something like that. :allears:

I am optimistic that the referendum will bring many more amusing headlines.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 02:40

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 20, 2016 03:06

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Say Nothing posted:

She's bigger than me....

# ? Feb 20, 2016 03:12

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Say Nothing posted:

I'm assuming this is about Kawhi Leonard's freakish hands.

# ? Feb 20, 2016 18:39

genetic_knockout: May 8, 2007; Who's a good boy

This just in:

"Knife-wielding monkey terrorizes Brazilian bar after guzzling rum"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/19/knife-wielding-monkey-terrorizes-brazilian-bar-after-guzzling-some-rum/

# ? Feb 21, 2016 00:15

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 22, 2016 01:05

Pentaro: May 5, 2013

# ? Feb 22, 2016 03:12

the_sea_hag: Oct 9, 2012; LOAF FANCIER

Pentaro posted:

Once again we stigmatize intersex people. :colbert:

# ? Feb 22, 2016 04:23

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Hitler did only have one ball. That puts him slightly above average.

# ? Feb 22, 2016 04:43

AlphaKretin: Dec 25, 2014; A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

Pentaro posted:

"Nazi leader Adolf Hitler". As opposed to forums poster Adolf Hitler or movie star Adolf Hitler? Does anyone not know who he was?

AlphaKretin has a new favorite as of 06:00 on Feb 22, 2016

# ? Feb 22, 2016 04:48

Burkion: May 10, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

AlphaKretin posted:

"Nazi leader Adolf Hitler". As opposed to forums poster Adolf Hitler or movie start Adolf Hitler? Does anyone not know who he was?

Give it another 30 years.

# ? Feb 22, 2016 05:57

Rysithusiku: Nov 10, 2013; Witness the assless man and despair!
All futures point to a world of filled holes.

Burkion posted:

Give it another 30 years.

Or just go to Thailand!
Seriously, Thailand and Hitler are... Odd.

# ? Feb 22, 2016 07:36

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Wheat Loaf posted:

I am optimistic that the referendum will bring many more amusing headlines.

# ? Feb 22, 2016 12:26

Sakurazuka: Jan 24, 2004; NANI?

Hah, I saw that this morning and thought of this thread

# ? Feb 22, 2016 12:32

Ugato: Apr 9, 2009; We're not?

CheesyDog posted:

InternetDating.txt

I went to college there. Roughly a third of the population of cookeville is in TN Tech. Oh, the small cities of the south. :allears:

Geokinesis posted:

This is the most goddamn British thing I've ever seen.

# ? Feb 22, 2016 13:31

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkrcj8L7gf0

South Australia�s main rescue helicopter has been grounded after being rammed by a goat

# ? Feb 22, 2016 14:42

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 23, 2016 01:44

Bogmonster: Oct 17, 2007; The Bogey is a philosopher who knows

# ? Feb 27, 2016 15:49

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 28, 2016 00:31

ncumbered_by_idgits: Sep 20, 2008

Say Nothing posted:

Hey that's my local station! My God they are so bad.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 14:47

razorrozar: Feb 21, 2012; by Cyrano4747

Say Nothing posted:

# ? Feb 28, 2016 19:15

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Say Nothing posted:

Sean Astin worked so hard to get his little brother that job and he's just blowing it.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 19:27

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Bogmonster posted:

Or as my teenaged self called it, a loving epic Thursday night.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 19:32

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

razorrozar posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCy3LMtTao
pro tip: hide behind the huge rear end copier

# ? Feb 28, 2016 20:39

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

That is pretty huge for an rear end copier.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 22:49

wyoming: Jun 7, 2010; Like a television
tuned to a dead channel.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCy3LMtTao
pro tip: hide behind the huge rear end copier

The newscaster trying not to crack up is magical.

# ? Feb 28, 2016 23:24

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 29, 2016 00:11

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

wyoming posted:

The newscaster trying not to crack up is magical.

Ya I love that she noticed and is trying to be a pro.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 00:13

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

AlbieQuirky posted:

That is pretty huge for an rear end copier.

Looks about right to me

# ? Feb 29, 2016 01:13

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 29, 2016 08:19

Intoluene: Jul 6, 2011; Activating self-destruct sequence!; Fun Shoe

Say Nothing posted:

I see someone has peaked early in his life. Still, impressive effort for someone so young. :itwaspoo:

# ? Feb 29, 2016 08:39

Take the plunge! Okay!: Feb 24, 2007

# ? Feb 29, 2016 12:10

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

mcustic posted:

"Yeh, what of it? Fuckin' Slovenian cunts havvit comin', 'struth."

# ? Feb 29, 2016 14:33

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

Say Nothing posted:

The meal at the wedding reception's gonna be a hell of a thing.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 14:38

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Say Nothing posted:

This is some star crossed lovers poo poo here. Like Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman.

# ? Feb 29, 2016 15:53

Hoover Dam: Jun 17, 2003; red white and blue forever

Say Nothing posted:

"And that, kids, is how I met your mother"

# ? Feb 29, 2016 17:46

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Mar 2, 2016 01:02

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Say Nothing posted:

I hate to say it, but the comment made me laugh.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 01:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 09:39

SpacePig: Apr 4, 2007; I'M FEELING JIMMY

If I had to guess, that's probably the least vitriolic comment on the story, too. Pretty cute, honestly.

# ? Mar 2, 2016 05:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

«‹›848 »