Chantilly Say posted:

What's the name for the condition where you see hot jets everywhere you look?

Chantilly Say posted:

What's the name for the condition where you see hot jets everywhere you look?

AlphaKretin posted:

no they will not posted:

SS Oath by Adolf Hitler

when its time to get maturer
and you want to serve the fuhrer
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)

when youre tired of the commies
and youve joined the nazi party
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)

when youre guarding at the showers
And youve fallen out the tower
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)
Adolf Hitler (cha cha cha)Get more lyrics at lyricsfreak.net

Skylark posted:

(In full Nazi outfit) I promise Hitler that I think your beliefs are good (trying not to laugh, i stifle a chuckle which is really inappropriate at Nazi meetings - Im absolutely giddy) I will use my gun and die, if I have to, to fight for what Hitler says and wants lol. I solemnly swear to Hitlers flag that everything about Nazi is good - and I have full knowledge that it includes psycho poo poo like killing Jews lmfao -- I love it all, Amen.

Grandmother of Five posted:

2016 fyad: hitler is sooo good. i love him. this much *holds up arms really far apart*
2016 gbs/lf communist style guy who did a suicide and left behind a giftcard for a gender studies class:

fyad 1939: the jews, handicapped and gays seem good to me.Poland is a soverign country. all things considered the treaty of versaille was generally fair
gbs wermacht guy:

Smythe posted:

only time i went to disneyland as an adult i had a cripple in tow so we skipped all tge lines

GottaPayDaTrollToll posted:

And so, the curse of Bush's brain strikes once again.

gary oldmans diary posted:

quote:

Year 3099, Cis-Herstorical Time
Be Anar-Queer Trans-species+gender Cat-Boy Trans-Abled Socialist-Furry
Preferred pronouns: They, Them (I'm old-fashioned, just like Dad and Dad and Dad)
Preferred tense, future perfect
Basically your average college student
Teacher is taking attendance on first day of Orientation
Can barely hear teacher over riotous noise of screaming protesters outside, like usual
Today Asian-Americans and LGTBQAA groups are clashing over who is more oppressed, because "orientation" sounds like "Oriental" but also like "Sexual Orientation"
Teacher reads my name loudly, then pauses to check my preferred pronouns and tense
"Will they have been present here?"
I raise my hand
"Yes, professor, we will have been present"
The teacher smiles and sighs in relief at not having triggered anyone during attendance
Teacher makes eye contact with me as she smiles, baring her teeth in an inadvertant intimidation display
My furry instincts kick in, and my phantom tail curls under my groin to shield my phantom testicles
I am so triggered I nearly stand, my ableness-orientation kicks in and I remember that I identify as requiring a wheelchair today
I wheel into the center aisle and keep my eyes locked on the professor as I let out a gutteral growl
GRRRRRRR
and bare my teeth back at her
The professor glances down at her notes and realizes that she has forgotten I am actually a wolf trapped in a crippled man's body trapped in an able-bodied woman's body
The professor closes her lips to hide her teeth and lies down on the ground, exposing her abdomen in an act of submission
I return to my desk, having established my dominance

manyak posted:

when you were young you thought sex was just this thing where you go naked, whatever else. well, eventually you grow up and you realize part of it is about hurting them. you choke them and stuff which even though it seems bad actually adds to the good feeling you get when you cum. so its not a big deal.

no they will not posted:

generally kids have fairly naive ideas about sex and the world, ie that pain is bad and pleasure is good. however, part of maturation involves learning about "coin theory" - the fact that pain and pleasure are actually two sides of the same coin

example
Child: I think pleasure is good and pain is bad
Adult: Actually, pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin [a/n: coin theory in action]

Chantilly Say posted:

What's the name for the condition where you see hot jets everywhere you look?

Chantilly Say posted:

What's the name for the condition where you see hot jets everywhere you look?

twoday posted:

I was laying in bed before I had to head to work. I don't normally think about pizza dough when I'm not at work, but today was different. I knew that I'd be able to do this that that had been tempting me for the past several months. I was going to be by myself for a couple hours, so all I had to do was steal a ball of dough and lock myself in the bathroom. I was getting turned on just thinking about it. I masturbated.

I cleaned myself up and went to work. I go in the back door. My boss isn't there, which both surprised and relieved me. I say hi to a coworker. He's the only one here right now, and he's making the dough as we speak. "It's right fresh." I think to myself. I walk into the freezer. There sitting before me is several boxes of freshly made pizza dough. I pick one up in my hands. It's still warm. I reach into my pocket where I've hidden a large Ziploc bag and a condom. I stuff the dough into the bag and hide it in my jacket pocket. I intentionally wore a large jacket today, knowing that I'd need to smuggle the dough ball home. I didn't ever mean to gently caress the dough at work. That would be unsanitary. If anyone found out, I'd probably be fired. So I get to work, trying not to think about what I've hidden in my jacket. But it's too much for me. I start to get an erection. I grab my jacket and go into the washroom.

I take off my pants and open up the bag. I poke a hole in the dough and massage it with my hands. I'm rock hard now. I open up the condom and put it on, before I go to town on the dough. After a few minutes, I cum. Not quite as hard as I was expecting, but considering I had just gotten off an hour prior to that, I was satisfied.

I realize that I don't know what to do with the dough. It weighs about a pound and a half, and it's too big to hide anywhere. Plus the night time staff would find it, and that would be some awkward explaining. There's a knock on the door. My manager is here and needs into the washroom to get changed. I quickly stuff the dough into the bag and back into my jacket before washing my hands. I then went over to another sink and washed my hands again.

For a few hours after that, I stood there, making pizzas, talking to customers, taking orders. No one that I talked to knew that I had hosed a pizza dough just before talking to them. Someone came in who was getting pizza for a birthday party, someone came in wanting a job, someone came in to talk about how good our pizzas always were. None of them knew. It made me feel dirty, and kind of turned on.
At the end of my shift I ran home into my bedroom. I grabbed the dough out of my pocket while looking for a condom. I didn't have any more. So I went without. Lying on the bed, moving the dough up and down on my dick. I came again. I then wrapped the dough up in a bag and threw it in the garbage so that no one would accidentally come across it.

Chantilly Say posted:

What's the name for the condition where you see hot jets everywhere you look?

Siljmonster posted:

Not everyone has a hole in their kitchen to stick their dick into and let loose a stream.

FAROOQ posted:

exactly, some men are single.

trapped mouse posted:

Roro posted:

Aren't these from the 12yo sounding/inflation thread? That thing is full of quality quotes.

pentyne posted:

That thread took a weird turn when people started semi-defending sexual deviance like sounding and other people pointed out "Not the issue, this kid gave himself sepsis of the dick 2x because he wouldn't stop shoving dirty things up there, he can't be allowed to continue"

Malachite_Dragon posted:

It got weirder when Ausmund showed up and started hardcore projecting their issues onto the kid and his family.

Neurolimal posted:

Tony Stark, Winter soldier, and Captain America's shield are going to punch/bash each other at the same time, causing a shockwave which tears off all their clothing, and they begin oil wrestling and grunting (this happens in a lubricant factory)

A car can be seen through a window driving through a puddle; somewhere, a poster begins writing his vehicular takedown of the film.

The MSJ posted:

Wizard Master posted:

Most of these quotes suck poo poo to be honest.

Wizard Master posted:

Most of these quotes suck poo poo to be honest.

Wizard Master posted:

Most of these quotes suck poo poo to be honest.

Roro posted:

jam things into your peehole you sociopathic liar

Wizard Master posted:

Most of these quotes suck poo poo to be honest.

Roro posted:

Aren't these from the 12yo sounding/inflation thread? That thing is full of quality quotes.

DudeGoofyGuy posted:

No, it's from an FYAD thread about "kinky" sex: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3729520&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

I'm interested in this bizarre thread though and would love a link or even just a quote so I can google to find it.

DudeGoofyGuy posted:

No, it's from an FYAD thread about "kinky" sex: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3729520&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

I'm interested in this bizarre thread though and would love a link or even just a quote so I can google to find it.

Roro posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3763504
Knock yourself out!

DudeGoofyGuy posted:

I didn't know that this particular practice was called "sounding" so when I read "12yo sounding/inflation thread" I thought maybe it was about some dude who tries to make himself sound like a 12 y/o using helium balloons or some weird pedo fetish. This is something loving incredible, though. Especially that the second suggestion after "is he washing" is "what does this 12yo put inside himself on the reg?"

Edit: People are talking about damage to the ureters? How far to you have to shove something up your peehole to get to that and how is that in anyway pleasurable? Catheters are loving painful and they're way smaller than whatever this kid could get his hands on.

Trig Discipline posted:

Ahaha I love how quickly goons figured out what's going on. It's like on Jeopardy when Alex barely finishes the first sentence and you can already see the contestants going apeshit on their buzzers.

"My twelve year old brother just got sent to the hosp-BZZZZZT"
"What is shoving things up his dickhole?"

Trig Discipline posted:

Ahaha I love how quickly goons figured out what's going on. It's like on Jeopardy when Alex barely finishes the first sentence and you can already see the contestants going apeshit on their buzzers.

"My twelve year old brother just got sent to the hosp-BZZZZZT"
"What is shoving things up his dickhole?"

Roro posted:

Nah, it got weird when people were suggesting buying him, a 12 year old boy, proper sounding equipment. Instead of, y'know, just making him stop.

burexas.irom posted:

I just read a thread with my hand on my dick. And not in the good way.

atomicthumbs posted:

We appreciate the input, but at this time we aren't able to use your suggestion to "stab the homeless". We will contact you in the future if we decide to use your idea.

Roro posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3763504
Knock yourself out!