NBA Draft 2016: No way those are real names

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NBA Draft 2016: No way those are real names

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

MourningView posted:

A skinnier, taller, and less crazy Royce White sounds exactly like the sort of dude who should be a number 1 pick. The issue with him was never skill. He and Draymond were basically the exact same player in college.

I like that Mr. Anonymous NBA Exec thinks that a 6'10" player who can run the point like Rondo is someone who you should red-flag right off your draft board. Hell even a "more athletic Evan Turner" would be a #1 lock if you're talking about said player being 19-20 years old.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 07:53

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 10:11

EMC: Aug 17, 2004

#BeWell

# ? Mar 16, 2016 08:48

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

I dunno, I think a flowchart of:
--
1. Can he score?
2. Will he anchor a defense?

If no to both be wary of #1 pick
---

Seems pretty reasonable to me. Simmons seems like a risk to me right now (note: I've only watched some of his game and was pretty underwhelmed).

# ? Mar 16, 2016 11:19

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

He can score though. He averaged almost 20 a game on a team that pretty much everyone agrees didn't do enough to get him the ball (along with 11 rebounds and 5 assists as a power forward) He just can't shoot well yet. And if you're eliminating someone from number one pick contention solely because they don't have a great jumper yet, congrats on passing on LeBron James.

MourningView fucked around with this message at 14:44 on Mar 16, 2016

# ? Mar 16, 2016 14:40

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

As I said I haven't watched a ton, but my sense is that Simmons will have trouble scoring at the next level (in the way that Lebron didn't have as big of a risk doing). That's not to say don't pick him, but I think teams are justified looking at Ingram or even Bender (once you can see what he can do in workouts).

My point is even if Simmons is projected as a taller Rajon Rondo, I wouldn't call that a #1 lock.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 15:00

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

"This is one of the most Klutch agencies around, you definitely want to sign with us"-- Lebron James to Ben Simmons in an undated text

# ? Mar 16, 2016 15:19

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

DX said Jaylen Brown has limited bustability, so I'm 100% on that train now

# ? Mar 16, 2016 16:39

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

WhyteRyce posted:

DX said Jaylen Brown has limited bustability, so I'm 100% on that train now

"This guy has the highest floor in the draft" almost always means they will be the worst player in the draft.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 16:42

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Thomas Robinson and Nik Stauskas are doing just fine for us :colbert:

# ? Mar 16, 2016 16:43

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Lockback posted:

As I said I haven't watched a ton, but my sense is that Simmons will have trouble scoring at the next level (in the way that Lebron didn't have as big of a risk doing).

I mean he might, but he's a physically big and quick guy with good handles who can get to the rim off the dribble and finish around the basket. Even if he's not as effective in the post, unless his athleticism doesn't transfer to the pros he's going to score.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 17:39

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

If Aaron Gordon can score, Ben Simmons can score. It's not like he can't make a layup, he simply has a bad jump shot.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 17:44

ButtWolf: Dec 30, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Yeah and for 90% of good players the shot will come along. Id still think about taking Ingram if i needed a scorer vs playmaker more, like phx maybe. Maybe.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 18:24

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

ButtWolf posted:

Yeah and for 90% of good players the shot will come along. Id still think about taking Ingram if i needed a scorer vs playmaker more, like phx maybe. Maybe.

I actually think Phoenix would be one of the best landing spots for Simmons. Booker is the only player who can pass and the Suns have some shooting (although of course Ingram wouldn't hurt them).

# ? Mar 16, 2016 20:26

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

EvanTH posted:

just the sort of nay-saying do-nothing reaction i'd expect from a 55,000 thought-per-day man. I gave myself seven pep-talks while writing this post, my positive thoughts per minute rate (PTPMr) humming a good 14.3% faster than the average hoodlum and you could be like me with the slight addition of n-methyl-1-phenylpropan-2-amine to your diet. Psychology is and always has been an impartial, data-driven hard science which certainly doesn't have a long and gross history as an ethically questionable discipline with a ready-made capacity for abuse and social control as an arbitrarily self-declared authority deciding what constitutes the correct human reaction to environmental stressors and it's ignorant of you to question the validity of such well-intentioned numbers

Christ...my god

# ? Mar 16, 2016 21:05

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

Duke wins their first round game; Ingram+Allen put up decent numbers, 20/9/3 and 23/10/5 respectively.

edit: also, new reports that Bender has an NBA out clause each summer for the entirety of his deal.

Redgrendel2001 fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Mar 17, 2016

# ? Mar 17, 2016 19:45

ButtWolf: Dec 30, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Rick posted:

I actually think Phoenix would be one of the best landing spots for Simmons. Booker is the only player who can pass and the Suns have some shooting (although of course Ingram wouldn't hurt them).

Bledsoe?

# ? Mar 17, 2016 21:29

DeimosRising: Oct 17, 2005; �Hola SEA!

Lockback posted:

As I said I haven't watched a ton, but my sense is that Simmons will have trouble scoring at the next level (in the way that Lebron didn't have as big of a risk doing). That's not to say don't pick him, but I think teams are justified looking at Ingram or even Bender (once you can see what he can do in workouts).

My point is even if Simmons is projected as a taller Rajon Rondo, I wouldn't call that a #1 lock.

6'10" Rondo is basically Magic Johnson.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 22:07

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

ButtWolf posted:

Bledsoe?

I don't think you can make a long term plan around a guy who misses every other season.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 19:21

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Jonathan Givony is in apology mode for Jaylen Brown on Twitter right now

Is Denzel Valentine going to drop into the second :haw:

# ? Mar 18, 2016 21:51

straight up brolic: Jan 31, 2007; After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

WhyteRyce posted:

Jonathan Givony is in apology mode for Jaylen Brown on Twitter right now

Is Denzel Valentine going to drop into the second

this is like exactly what happened to stanley johnson last season. Brown will be top 10 if he works out well.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 21:59

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

ba-by bo-nis clap clap clapclapclap

# ? Mar 19, 2016 07:36

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

NickRoweFillea posted:

ba-by bo-nis clap clap clapclapclap

He's a joy to watch.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 03:15

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

I can't look at Grayson Allen anymore without seeing Ted Cruz.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 03:27

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Redgrendel2001 posted:

I can't look at Grayson Allen anymore without seeing Ted Cruz.

😈😈😈😈

# ? Mar 20, 2016 14:17

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Where's the Liga Națională draft thread, I want to talk about Alex Olah.

Nortwestern's Tre Demps has no chance of playing in the NBA, but I have a feeling we'll see him in the Pelicans' summer league for some reason.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:04

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

Redgrendel2001 posted:

I can't look at Grayson Allen anymore without seeing Ted Cruz.

Everything about the guards at Duke make me pissed off. Look at this guy

# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:08

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Doltos posted:

Everything about the guards at Duke make me pissed off. Look at this guy

You ever see a picture and associate it with a noise? I hear the noise "HYUUUUUUUUUUUH" when I look at this picture.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:31

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

NickRoweFillea posted:

You ever see a picture and associate it with a noise? I hear the noise "HYUUUUUUUUUUUH" when I look at this picture.

Whats the noise a person makes when they're getting kicked out of a Chilis for getting too drunk on margaritas?

# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:35

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Doltos posted:

Whats the noise a person makes when they're getting kicked out of a Chilis for getting too drunk on margaritas?

Oh, I know this one! It's "gently caress you your margs were lovely anyway"

# ? Mar 20, 2016 17:40

ButtWolf: Dec 30, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Grant Hill might be the only Dukie thats tolerable. And Trajan Langdon.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:03

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

ButtWolf posted:

Grant Hill might be the only Dukie thats tolerable. And Trajan Langdon.

Elton Brand

# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:22

ButtWolf: Dec 30, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Crazy Ted posted:

Elton Brand

Truth

# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:24

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Carlos Boozer anyone (other than lying to a blind man)

# ? Mar 20, 2016 18:26

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

The blind man was cheating to sign him to a way below market deal. gently caress him and good on Carlos for getting paid

# ? Mar 20, 2016 20:06

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

ButtWolf posted:

Grant Hill might be the only Dukie thats tolerable. And Trajan Langdon.

Kyrie Irving.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:23

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

Kyrie played like 10 games for Duke he doesn't count

# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:34

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

No the hipster dude on Stephen F Austin is not going to be a first round pick

# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:39

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

I just wonder who brings him into Summer league this year.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:44

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

"Let me tell you about Jamari Traylor blocking a few shots guarantees him a twenty-second pick." - ESPN every March.

I mean, they don't say that about Traylor, but they always go gaga over tournament superstars.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 21:45

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 10:11

ButtWolf: Dec 30, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Wasnt Jalen Brunson really highly touted? Havent heard m7ch about him this year.

# ? Mar 20, 2016 23:06

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