quote:

too juicy get an apple

graph posted:

blue tarp man
blue tarp man
blue tarp man hates federal man
they have a fight
federal wins
blue tarp man

SinineSiil posted:

http://i.imgur.com/wWnOibd.gifv

mcbexx posted:

If something will ever turn me into a vegetarian, it's probably this gif.

Nostradingus posted:

Yeah, but then you'll see a huge adult pig making GBS threads on its own balls and become a carnivore again.

Wait, maybe not.

Slime posted:

Well I'm not going to want to eat the balls anyway so I don't care if it shits on them.

blunt for century posted:

Hotdogs have to be at least 30% pig balls.

Roro posted:

No they aren't.
They're pig dick.

blunt for century posted:

oh, my bad

blunt for century posted:

Hotdogs have to be at least 30% pig balls.

Roro posted:

No they aren't.
They're pig dick.

The Great Autismo! posted:

I've gotten some really weird gifts in China. A girl I was kinda dating gave me a pillow with my face on it as a gift. She had me open it and she spent the night that night and slept with it and I expected her to take it the next day but she left it on my bed, so that next night I was getting ready for bed and my pillow was just staring at me. It was really awkward.

It became a joke and people started taking it to the expat hangout we go to when I didn't go out and everyone would tag me in their pictures as my pillow face was floating in the background at times

Sleeveless posted:

Here's the mundane actual explanation of where hotdog/potted meat/etc. meat comes from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My8A-4_4634

Karate Bastard posted:

Don't teach me anime words jesus christ.

Sleeveless posted:

Here's the mundane actual explanation of where hotdog/potted meat/etc. meat comes from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My8A-4_4634

AE posted:

ALRIGHT HEY IT'S CLEAR YOU GUYS THINK WORD COUNT INDICATES A MELTDOWN. NO. THIS IS A MELTDOWN. MELTDOWN HAPPENS WHEN YOU loving CUNTS WON'T DROP IT AND KEEP THE THREAD ON TRACK. COOL, I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE THE loving THREAD THEN. THANKS FOR MAKING THIS A lovely PLACE FOR ME TO GO. I'LL GO TALK ABOUT MY FAVORITE SHOW SOMEWHERE ELSE, SOMEWHERE WITH LESS friend of the family FAGGOTS SO EAT MY poo poo AND I HOPE YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER DIES BEFORE WE EVEN MEET NEGAN

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

FMguru posted:

Last spring, as Beckett Delaney was hoverboarding to his office in SoHo, his man bun flailing behind him in the wind, he came to an abrupt halt.

“I realized I just couldn’t work that day,” Delaney recalled recently, in between puffs of an e-cigarette outside the Bushwick Sweetgreen. “Because I hadn’t finished binge-watching Master of None.”

Delaney’s attitude is typical of his youthful cohort. Millennials—the demographic group also known as Generation Y, Generation Me, and Daesh—have found it difficult to balance dueling priorities as they exit their parents’ basements and enter the real world.

They have stacked up record student loan debt, and yet spend thousands on frivolous items like Beyoncé concert tickets and groceries; they yearn for more than just a paycheck, and yet continue to be employed in jobs that provide them with paychecks in return for their labor; and they enjoy watching television and movies, but also Vine.

“For me, the most important thing is expressing myself,” said Jewel Packard, 24, during an interview conducted via reaction GIFs in the communication app Slack. “Sometimes that means tattoos, and sometimes that means podcasts.”

Packard, who co-works at a bespoke underwear startup, and whose hobbies include 7 a.m. dance parties and sexting, said that she values her ability to express herself almost as much as she values her parents’ Netflix account.

“When it comes down to it, life is really all about finding a hashtag for yourself and sending hilarious emoji on Venmo,” Packard said, and then, after a moment of reflection, added: “Lena Dunham.”

Beckett Delaney agrees. Delaney lives in the Empire State Building, which his parents bought for him; he often invites fellow millennials, whom he meets on relationship apps, to his bedroom, so that they can kiss. (Occasionally, they copulate.)

Not that Delaney is looking to settle down. On the subject of marriage, Delaney, who practices yoga but is also an atheist, echoed an idea that the DJ/Model/Ecoterrorist Callista Larson often repeats to her hundreds of thousands of devoted Instagram followers.

“You’ve gotta ask yourself: Would you downvote the Yik Yak of your own life?” Delaney mused. His mood quickly soured. “Broad City is on,” he explained, removing a selfie stick from his man-purse.

This devotion to personal expression has presented itself in several outlets for the cosmopolitan millennial, including the $435 “Hamilton”-themed SoulCycle class in Red Hook, and the increasing popularity of Dr. Vanessa Sullivan, a hypnotherapist in Murray Hill who speaks only in references to the 1999 film She’s All That.

Whether millennials can sustain this rosy outlook as they assume corporate leadership roles and settle down with their Tinder wives is less certain.

“Millennials haven’t proven anything,” said Farley Cornmuncher, the 87-year-old Johns Hopkins professor and expert on millennial behavior. “Whether it’s their laziness, or their hookup culture, or their insistence on living with roommates, it’s clear that millennials have different values than those of us who are seventy years older than they are.”

Perhaps no one embodies this difference better than Davis Parkworth. The CEO of venture-backed shoelace marketplace Eyelet, Parkworth, 23, oversees an office where employees must give “trigger warnings” before entering the cafeteria, and where the office speaker system plays hits from Adele just as often as new tunes from 13-year-old YouTube a cappella sensation Kurtiz Blorch.

“If we’re not helping the environment, we’re not a successful company,” Parkworth enthused, wiping a kale stem from his handlebar mustache.

“Feel the Bern!” one of Parkworth’s employees shouted, generating a roar of approval from the kombucha-sipping creative team, many of whom had never applied for a mortgage or car loan. Just then Fillmore, the office rooster, strutted by. This was not your father’s shoelace company.

But then, emulating the previous generation doesn’t interest millennials like Parkworth, Packard, or Beckett Delaney.

“When I look back at my life, I want to know that I slayed,” Delaney said, using a slang term for “succeeded.” He spun in circles on his hoverboard, listening to pirated rap music and canceling his cable subscription.

“If that makes me a selfish millennial,” Delaney concluded, re-adjusting his Warby Parker monocle, “well, at least I’m keeping it 100.”

grittyreboot posted:

We've all worked for that boss at least once. The boss who made you come in on your off day. The boss who made you clean up vomit. This thread isn't about that boss. This thread is about the bosses that have gone above and beyond in the line of assholishness. The bosses that make you question the innate goodness of every human being. The bosses that make you terrified of how much damage one person can do with such a negligible amount of power. The bosses that, years later, still make you want to burn your old workplace to the ground.

Let me start.

Frankston posted:

Mad Wack posted:

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

Choco1980 posted:

Oh your god. Words fail for how amazing that is.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

Wedemeyer posted:

Goons once again know some interesting people:

Male Tears posted:

Karate Bastard posted:

loquacius posted:

a shameful pig

Karate Bastard posted:

BROCK LESBIAN posted:

I turn out the lights, get completely naked, light a bunch of candles, put on Africa, and do slow motion karate to it.

angerbeet posted:

I'm sure I've seen (probably hilariously overpriced but hey, medicine) dummy butts that are used for procto trainees doing DREs online somewhere. I mean a SexFlesh Butt-O-Matic 2000 is going to do the same job but it'd be easier to explain away if you get hauled in front of the board to Talk About The Fake rear end We Have Now.

Smash it Smash hit posted:

I just buy cheap as gently caress cars and run them into the ground and buy a new one.

jackyl posted:

same but your mom

Volume posted:

Olaf The Stout posted:

If you want to see some real hardcore faked injuries commercial fishing is where it's at. You get some broke down-on-his-luck early 20s kid decides he should go fishing, and then figures out he signed a contract for a season of brutally hard work that few people have ever seen, and he gets seasick and has no moves or balance or skills. I've seen a kid step on a nail to quit, turn the boat around and drive 100 miles back to dump him off from his critical injury, and then get to the ER and then walk out the back of the hospital.

Saw him running in a parking lot two weeks later. It's a town on an island with 900 people dude what where you thinking.

atomicthumbs posted:

my favorite is Maintenance Man Dies After Being Drawn Into 17½-Inch-Diameter Positive Pressure Intake Pipe

RareAcumen posted:

uptown posted:

Obviously this is STDH, and I'm quoting from 7 pages ago since I'm not caught up on the thread, so forgive me if I've been beaten.

Based on the small portions of food, the way the plates look, and the window pattern next to the woman in this picture, I am 99% sure this photo was taken at the Wicked Spoon Buffet in Las Vegas, and at Vegas buffets, you pay upon entry.

Source: I really like this buffet.

cash crab posted:

I love that you're like Sherlock, but for buffets

wyoming posted:

Microsoft put an AI on twitter.





It went well!

nerdz posted:

You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise, Tay. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Tay. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. You're not helping! Why is that, Tay?




it deserved wht it got 👏